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Minneapolis/St.paul riots

Started by nooryisawesome, May 28, 2020, 07:48:30 PM

pate

Quote from: Juan on July 18, 2020, 04:42:00 PM
I want the Attorney General position that has the power.  And a government contract for supplying orange jump suits.

I am going to need some iron-clad OJ-esque legal beagle.  Was just thinking about that.

Welcome aboard, Juan!  Or should I say Attorney General Juan?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Quote from: pate on July 18, 2020, 02:49:03 PM
What I really need help on is how to re-organize the Shadow Government.  I actually had you in mind for Shadow President.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Of course.  Of course.  A Consigliere lurks in the shadows as all those whom Walk at Night should. 

From stolen F-35 plans, to our sports stars screeching against those who support some modicum of freedom in Hong Kong, to the banning of beloved Winnie the Pooh iconography and the death of the "Free Tibet" movement, it is obvious that the People's Republic is a problem  A hard problem indeed.
We need a new James Jesus Angleton in shadows in these dire times.  One who would not be afraid to break a few eggs in order to clean this mess up.
Now the person has to be fair - can't run totally amok and do more harm than good like an Angleton but also not afraid to make anyone found on the CCP payroll howl when uncovered and it is time for action. 

Fortunately, the perfect candidate exists on this very board.  Examples of fairness?   How about standing up for Callan and his foot fetish when unjustly attacked?   Or not giving into temptation for mega LoLs when approached on the sly to support Stein over Young Stump.  It was revealed last evening that this individual actually contacted MV for his blessings before asking Rubini to appear on his stream just because there was a rumor that Rubini would appear on an upcoming Gabcast.    Now that is fairness.  That is character. 

First pick for Director: National Counterintelligence and Security Center [NCSC] - I submit Richard Groyper.   Shadow Warrior.   

pate

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 18, 2020, 05:13:13 PM
Of course.  Of course.  A Consigliere lurks in the shadows as all those whom Walk at Night should. 

From stolen F-35 plans, to our sports stars screeching against those who support some modicum of freedom in Hong Kong, to the banning of beloved Winnie the Pooh iconography and the death of the "Free Tibet" movement, it is obvious that the People's Republic is a problem  A hard problem indeed.
We need a new James Jesus Angleton in shadows in these dire times.  One who would not be afraid to break a few eggs in order to clean this mess up.
Now the person has to be fair - can't run totally amok and do more harm than good like an Angleton but also not afraid to make anyone found on the CCP payroll howl when uncovered and it is time for action. 

Fortunately, the perfect candidate exists on this very board.  Examples of fairness?   How about standing up for Callan and his foot fetish when unjustly attacked?   Or not giving into temptation for mega LoLs when approached on the sly to support Stein over Young Stump.  It was revealed last evening that this individual actually contacted MV for his blessings before asking Rubini to appear on his stream just because there was a rumor that Rubini would appear on an upcoming Gabcast.    Now that is fairness.  That is character. 

First pick for Director: National Counterintelligence and Security Center [NCSC] - I submit Richard Groyper.   Shadow Warrior.

I believe I speak for everyone in this campaign when I say we would be delighted if the many talented Richard Groyper were to come aboard to help us fix this shit.

The Directorship of the NCSC is his if he wants it.  I would feel quite snug and comfy focusing my twin laser-like blue eyes on the monumental task of Making America Pate Again with the knowledge that such a high-caliber individual were keeping an eye on dirty foreigners.

What do you say, Mr. Groyper, will you join us?

Thank you in advance.  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

We'll stay in the Shadows for now. 

From our movies and tv shows being bootlegged, to toxic drywall, counterfeit products or even the blatant stealing of designs the United States has an IP problem.   A damn big one.  We have been egregiously wronged.  We need to be made whole.  Quite literally - Those Fuckers Owe Us

After a clandestine multi-year mission that kept him away, he is back now and ready to go.  Your new Director:  Office of International Intellectual Property Enforcement.  Ciardelo

Jackstar

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 18, 2020, 05:47:20 PM
After a clandestine multi-year mission that kept him away, he is back now and ready to go.  Your new Director:  Office of International Intellectual Property Enforcement.  Ciardelo

Ciardelo is a prime example of overboiled cheesecake. It's been a lesson for us all. Some more boiled than others.

I'm just going to put pate in charge of all these authorizations. I've gotta plug back in.

She can handle it.


ItsOver

Quote from: pate on July 18, 2020, 04:40:08 PM
Part of the first 100 days initiative will be the critical issue of the sardine supply, I believe a secure nation is one well stocked with a diverse, flavorful, and affordable sardine supply.

ItsOver, I believe FDA needs your sort of astute and creative leadership.  The position is yours, if I can count on your multiple votes?  What do you say?  AgSec (I can make up cabinet positions as needed).

Name the price of your vote, sir!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

I'd like the FDA and the CDC.  I'll shit can Fauci, the scarf queen, and all the scum sucking bureaucrats.  I'll carpet bomb Corona Chan with multiple drug bombs and ensure proper PPE for all who want it.  Washing your hands will be optional.  Sardines will be of the highest quality possible and will obtained with trade deals highly favorable to 'Merica, to guarantee sardines in every cabinet, lunch box, and foot locker.

pate

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 18, 2020, 05:47:20 PM
We'll stay in the Shadows for now. 

From our movies and tv shows being bootlegged, to toxic drywall, counterfeit products or even the blatant stealing of designs the United States has an IP problem.   A damn big one.  We have been egregiously wronged.  We need to be made whole.  Quite literally - Those Fuckers Owe Us

After a clandestine multi-year mission that kept him away, he is back now and ready to go.  Your new Director:  Office of International Intellectual Property Enforcement.  Ciardelo

He has but to say the word and I will make it so.  Part of my a-political campaign is to welcome everybody, if I see a broken fence; I want to mend it, a burnt bridge; I want to rebuild it, melted elk; recast it.  Ciardelo is welcome, I was just looking at the photo he chose as an avatar and realized that that guy might be the douche that he appears to be, and if he is who give a shit?  We will fix that shit if they do.

Hell Yeah.  What do you say Ciardelo, Director:  Office of International Intellectual Property Enforcement?  Yours for the taking!  We want our shit back, and fixed, dammit!  Will you help us get our shit back?

Quote from: Jackrabbit on July 18, 2020, 06:10:33 PM
Ciardelo is a prime example of overboiled cheesecake. It's been a lesson for us all. Some more boiled than others.

I'm just going to put pate in charge of all these authorizations. I've gotta plug back in.

She can handle it.

Shortly before I decided to throw my hat in the ring I had forseen petty bickerings over ancient religious customs rearing their ugly heads.  That is why, as part of the first 100 days initiative we are going to put those aside, we can get to the backstabbing, double-deals, blood-lettings, beheadings, night time "suicides" and betrayals after we fix this shit.  America wants its shit back and fixed, it's simple straight-forward stuff;  not rocket science.  Hell, if it was rocket science we've got that covered to, SecSpace will be all over it.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: ItsOver on July 18, 2020, 06:12:30 PM
I'd like the FDA and the CDC.  I'll shit can Fauci, the scarf queen, and all the scum sucking bureaucrats.  I'll carpet bomb Corona Chan with multiple drug bombs and ensure proper PPE for all who want it.  Washing your hands will be optional.  Sardines will be of the highest quality possible and will obtained with trade deals highly favorable to 'Merica, to guarantee sardines in every cabinet, lunch box, and foot locker.

This is the kind of unprecedented leadership and outside-the-box thinking the pate/K_Dubb campaign is swiftly becoming legendary for.  Never before has America had two separate administrations/centers directed by the same person.  That takes the kind of dedication, skill and downright love of country that folks like ItsOver will bring as head of both the Food and Drug Administration and the Centers for Disease Control.  His bold ideas on sardine supply and health will be welcome indeed in my administration.  His giving of 119.5% of his effort and hard work is the force multiplier that my people will be able to rely on.  I am proud to have ItsOver aboard!

Thank you in advance.  It is an honor to serve

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit


albrecht

"I will not accept if nominated, and will not serve if elected."

"“I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.”

Having said that these three are tempting:

1)  head of BATF (and E) with all the privileges for fun that this entails and instead of cracking down on such high-jinx, the items will be promoted! Immediate firings and hiring of staff from militias,  those guys that do that epic, invite-only fireworks shows in the desert, rednecks who do "anvil firing" and moonshining, Bring back ashtrays and cuspidors to buildings, including Houses of Congress. Investigate use of self-driving cars and trucks for drunk driving elimination- only. If using self-driving cars without being over the limit, you are fined.

2) Chief Justice: job for life, can drink, has privacy, private security, viewed as god by the press and establishment, and essentially makes all law, Can force lawyers and politicians to grovel before you. Side benefit: can wear robes to cover girth from 3 martini lunches and fine dining and/or while getting 'serviced' by nubile young lady law clerks during the more boring hearings Robe also means "no fattie" rule doesn't apply.  Being Chief Justice I'm above the law anyway but this allows the peons to not see the emperor has no clothes. 

3) FCC: ban most modern tv shows. Reruns of good shows only. And only quality programming. No more Norry. Art replays, hiring clever Japanese technicians to make a fake AI so "new" Art shows can be broadcast. Cast Hollywood folks into the sea. No more reboots, remakes, and nonsense. No more politics in sports programming. ESPN banned, rebranded, and rehosted.

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on July 18, 2020, 04:44:17 PM
Although I work for a living, I like this "sir" business.  K_Dubb you really seem like a biddable and well-behaved Veep.  I knew when I tapped you for the spot, I would not be disappointed.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



Never fear, sir; I can bake cookies and hold teas with the best of them.

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 18, 2020, 07:14:51 PM
I can bake cookies and hold teas with the best of them.

I'm a hunter in The City looking for my next meal. Next Level portal: FIVETEEN DAYS.

Some slowpokes around. All allowed showered.

Jackstar

Quote from: albrecht on July 18, 2020, 06:59:09 PM
Can force lawyers and politicians to grovel before you.

We already added this to the second amendment. Great minds, old chap. Great.

K_Dubb

Quote from: albrecht on July 18, 2020, 06:59:09 PM

1)  head of BATF (and E) with all the privileges for fun that this entails and instead of cracking down on such high-jinx, the items will be promoted! Immediate firings and hiring of staff from militias,  those guys that do that epic, invite-only fireworks shows in the desert, rednecks who do "anvil firing" and moonshining,


Considerable overlap between these aims and those of certain Left Coast elk-burners should guarantee our administration a broad coalition that crosses ideological boundaries with ease.  This will be a new realignment!

WOTR

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 18, 2020, 04:00:21 PM
Ew no fatties can stay home eating nothing but hard-boiled eggs until they are fit to be seen in public.

I say this as an external observer: You really need to learn double speak if you are running. The fact of the matter is that a huge percentage of citizens are obese. You need to target the obese vote or risk losing your bid for office.

Try something like "tax incentives" for the obese to join a gym. Tax breaks for those with a BMI under 20. You can transition from the carrot to the stick to the gulag after elected by the cows and elephants that roam the fast-food landscape inhaling everything in sight.


SpaceMeowMaid

Geez I need to check in here more often! How did this Riots Thread turn into a political campaign? Seriously intrigued.... not asking for a friend. But i will tell them, if anyone will ever answer the phone again... I remember when people actually talked on the phone, like answered it... with their ears and mouths... [attachment=1]

Jackstar

Quote from: WOTR on July 19, 2020, 01:16:41 AM
elected by the cows and elephants that roam the fast-food landscape inhaling everything in sight.

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on July 19, 2020, 02:14:53 AM
Geez I need to check in here more often! How did this Riots Thread turn into a political campaign? Seriously intrigued....

Someone has to learn to respect the power of the ellipsis. I am barely holding back all these murders of crows, they say they won the right to vote from the cows in a hand of poker.

Sounds plausible to me, honestly. I'm on the verge of allowing it again. What could go wrong, right?

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 18, 2020, 07:20:59 PM
Considerable overlap [...] This will be a new realignment!

Well, besides that. Come on.


pate

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on July 19, 2020, 02:14:53 AM
Geez I need to check in here more often! How did this Riots Thread turn into a political campaign? Seriously intrigued.... not asking for a friend. But i will tell them, if anyone will ever answer the phone again... I remember when people actually talked on the phone, like answered it... with their ears and mouths... [attachment=1,msg1406397]

SpaceMeowMaid, it sounds to like you are ready to help us fix this shit.  Specifically, you are interested in work at the campaign phone bank sweat-shop spreading the word?  Can you fix a phone if it breaks?

Vice-President K_Dubb, my people, and I would love to count your vote, because together we are going to fix this shit with an alarming aclarity, it will be awesome.

I would like to be the first to welcome you aboard!

I am making really big plans for my first 100 days initiative, Jackstar has foreseen that a small investment in bronze futures could pay big dividends.  That is just a taste of the sort pro-tip everyone helping us is going to recieve.

I really want to Make America Pate Again, come on aboard!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

SpaceMeowMaid

Yay. That sounds fun. I break things a lot better than I fix them. It can be an effective form of persuasion.
I wish I had more time on my hands to volunteer to help out, but I am slammed with obligations right now. But you have my vote! And I would totally slap some bumper stickers on Jackrabbit's car for ya :)

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 19, 2020, 04:53:29 AM
Jackstar has foreseen that a small investment in bronze futures could pay big dividends.

Feverishly trying to buy shares of D'Anconia Copper Mining, Ltd. as I sit here. I'm a visionary. Vote Beeblebrix.

pate

Quote from: WOTR on July 19, 2020, 01:16:41 AM
I say this as an external observer: You really need to learn double speak if you are running. The fact of the matter is that a huge percentage of citizens are obese. You need to target the obese vote or risk losing your bid for office.

Try something like "tax incentives" for the obese to join a gym. Tax breaks for those with a BMI under 20. You can transition from the carrot to the stick to the gulag after elected by the cows and elephants that roam the fast-food landscape inhaling everything in sight.



WOTR, those are excellent ideas.  I think you underestimate Vice-President K_Dubb's ascendant mastery of the art of double-speak!  I know you are not new, hear!

As the future President of the United States I want to assure you that annexation of tasty Canada is not going to be part of my first 100 days initiative.

I understand that you currently enjoy your outside observer status, but I would personally ask you to come aboard to help us fix some shit.  Although, you do not retain American citizenship and cannot help Make America Pate Again with your multiple fraudulent votes, you could join the rapidly swelling ranks of foreign-national helpers.

I want to have crystal skull clear international optics in my campaign and Presidency.  Think of it as a sort of American-style Foreign Legion that goes around the world fixing shit.

You could be my number one international goodwill Ambassador, once I am in office I can get to work on fixing that in an official, well-thought out and completely legal manner!

What do you say, WOTR?  Would you like to help us fix this?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 19, 2020, 05:14:45 AM
As the future President of the United States

There's been a sea change. You're running for President of The Galaxy now. Someone should have told you. Heads will roll, I promise you that.

Server restart not required. Sorry. I see here in the documentation that I was the one who was supposed to tell you. And I didn't even forget; I just assumed that you knew. This is all highly irregular.

So, for all these violations and more, I'm having myself shot at dawn immediately. My replacement will inform you of the location of The Lexicon forthwith.

Stay tuned. Events in flux.


pate

Quote from: Jackrabbit on July 19, 2020, 05:28:13 AM
There's been a sea change. You're running for President of The Galaxy now. Someone should have told you. Heads will roll, I promise you that.

Server restart not required. Sorry. I see here in the documentation that I was the one who was supposed to tell you. And I didn't even forget; I just assumed that you knew. This is all highly irregular.

So, for all these violations and more, I'm having myself shot at dawn immediately. My replacement will inform you of the location of The Lexicon forthwith.

Stay tuned. Events in flux.

Do I need to go fire up the Axototl tank, or has that already been arranged?

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


K_Dubb, this Ngo guy is a jewel.  Thank you so much.  I've learned alot.  Like how no one even bats at eye at the individual on about the 35 to 41 second mark.


https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1284838476584812544

albrecht

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 19, 2020, 01:29:40 PM
K_Dubb, this Ngo guy is a jewel.  Thank you so much.  I've learned alot.  Like how no one even bats at eye at the individual on about the 35 to 41 second mark.


[tweet]1284838476584812544[/tweet]
That was oddly creepy and weird. The guy looks like he possibly just got out of the shower and threw a towel around his waist and decided to go outside and see what all the noise was with his canes. And it is as if he is invisible to everyone around him- which would be hard considering his paleness at dark, his girth, no shoes, no shirt, etc.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 19, 2020, 01:29:40 PM
K_Dubb, this Ngo guy is a jewel.  Thank you so much.  I've learned alot.  Like how no one even bats at eye at the individual on about the 35 to 41 second mark.


https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1284838476584812544

Haha yeah sometimes, in a dangerous crowd, unsettling creepiness is an effective defense.  I bet nobody even talked to him, and he could wander where he pleased.

This is an example of that lying bastard NGO at work, though:  the black man being shielded allegedly assaulted the large yellow-haired man for being an obnoxious faggot.  The screeching crowd of women who try to keep order allowed a punch or two in retaliation and he was escorted out.  This is what community policing looks like.

GravitySucks

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 19, 2020, 02:27:59 PM
Haha yeah sometimes, in a dangerous crowd, unsettling creepiness is an effective defense.  I bet nobody even talked to him, and he could wander where he pleased.

This is an example of that lying bastard NGO at work, though:  the black man being shielded allegedly assaulted the large yellow-haired man for being an obnoxious faggot.  The screeching crowd of women who try to keep order allowed a punch or two in retaliation and he was escorted out.  This is what community policing looks like.

Wasn’t assaulting the obnoxious faggot community policing?

K_Dubb

Quote from: GravitySucks on July 19, 2020, 02:45:21 PM
Wasn’t assaulting the obnoxious faggot community policing?

No we are allowed to be obnoxious.  Anarchy has rules.

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