Started by pyewacket, March 01, 2014, 07:34:47 PM
Quote from: pyewacket on April 07, 2014, 01:09:54 AMI doubt these are actual Employee Evaluation Quotes, but they're fun and probably true in some cases.1. Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap2. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.3. I would not allow this employee to breed.4. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be.5. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.6. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.7. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.8. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.9. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.10. This employee should go far-and the sooner he starts the better.11. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.12. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.13. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.14. A room temperature IQ.15. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.16. A gross ignoramus-144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.17. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.18. A prime candidate for natural deselection.19. Bright as Alaska in December.20. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.21. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.22. Fell out of the family tree.23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is going nowhere.24. Has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.25. He is so dense, light bends around him.26. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.27. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.28. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.29. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.30. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.31. One neuron short of a synapse.32. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.33. Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch the 60 minutes program.34. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.35. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
Quote from: pyewacket on April 07, 2014, 01:09:54 AMI doubt these are actual Employee Evaluation Quotes, but they're fun and probably true in some cases.*snip*
Quote from: paladin1991 on April 26, 2014, 12:10:06 AMAwesome! At our company, we get to evaluate our supervisors. Gonna use a couple of these for two choice asshats. Thanks Pye, your a pal.
Quote from: pyewacket on April 28, 2014, 12:23:31 AMHappy to be of service! Are these anonymous evaluations?
Quote from: paladin1991 on April 28, 2014, 12:45:04 AMYeah, they say they are. They are generated by a 3rd party via computer. The employee has to enter his ID number in to get a randomly generated eval. Or, it comes as a paper eval with a 'unique' randomly generated ID number that is in an envelope and handed to you by mgmt.So, no, I don't believe that they are truly anonymous.
Quote from: paladin1991 on April 28, 2014, 05:58:02 PMOh yes, great fun. We should do it again. Too bad some the bad characters aren't here for me to poke with a sharp verbal stick.
Quote from: maureen on April 28, 2014, 08:16:02 PM...and thank you both for the delightful display of verbal gymnastics- quick wit and rapid repartee of the highest order
Quote from: pyewacket on April 28, 2014, 07:29:42 PMI'd be happy to verbally spar with you any time! It's not everyday you get to use the word "codswallop" in a reply!
Quote from: paladin1991 on April 28, 2014, 08:45:12 PM i like to use the word codpiece in response to codswallop.
Quote from: pyewacket on April 28, 2014, 09:39:46 PMHave you thrown down the gauntlet, Old Bean? Be warned- I won't coddle you!
Quote from: zeebo on April 28, 2014, 11:25:49 PMAny puns will be returned to you, C.O.D.
Quote from: pyewacket on April 29, 2014, 01:05:07 AMAs long as you codify them first!