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Any Good Jokes?

Started by pyewacket, March 01, 2014, 07:34:47 PM

Had to edit the URL a little to get it to imbed, but now you can watch it without leaving the comfort of BellGab if you prefer. Or not.


Kunt and the Gang - Jimmy Savile And The Sexy Kids

Eddie Coyle


  A: The summer of 69.

  Q: Sum up Jerry Sandusky's pre-season football camp.

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on February 11, 2015, 11:25:02 AM
  A: The summer of 69.

  Q: Sum up Jerry Sandusky's pre-season football camp.

Bwaaaahahahahahahahaha.
Actually, this is even funnier when you live in PA!     ;D ;D

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Treading Water on February 11, 2015, 12:41:43 PM
Bwaaaahahahahahahahaha.
Actually, this is even funnier when you live in PA!     ;D ;D

  Archdioceses around the nation eternally grateful to the Nittany Lions for diverting attention...

It's so cold out, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.







pyewacket

Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on February 18, 2015, 03:19:56 PM
Do shame signs work for dogs?  Maybe the Roomba needs one.

;D ;D ;D ;D

I agree- it's a weird meme and it will run its course as they all do- eventually. I just thought it was funny that they blamed the dog instead of either turning the Roomba off or keeping it and the pup in separate areas... to avoid such problems. If it happened at all. I have a warped sense of humor.  ;)

Quote from: pyewacket on February 18, 2015, 03:28:50 PM
;D ;D ;D ;D

I agree- it's a weird meme and it will run its course as they all do- eventually. I just thought it was funny that they blamed the dog instead of either turning the Roomba off or keeping it and the pup in separate areas... to avoid such problems. If it happened at all. I have a warped sense of humor.  ;)

Nah, it was funny  :).  I can imagine going to work one day and coming back to that mess.

Quote from: pyewacket on February 18, 2015, 03:28:50 PM
;D ;D ;D ;D

I agree- it's a weird meme and it will run its course as they all do- eventually. I just thought it was funny that they blamed the dog instead of either turning the Roomba off or keeping it and the pup in separate areas... to avoid such problems. If it happened at all. I have a warped sense of humor.  ;)

That calls for some Shark Cat on a roomba, with duckling and portly pitbull in a way too small hammerhead costume, just because.

Cat In A Shark Costume Chases A Duck While Riding A Roomba

No matter how much Eddie Coyle adjusts his television reception set up, he keeps getting snow. Goddamn it!

[attachimg=1]


pyewacket

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on February 18, 2015, 03:54:57 PM
That calls for some Shark Cat on a roomba, with duckling and portly pitbull in a way too small hammerhead costume, just because.

Thanks- strange, funny, and cute!  ;D

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on February 18, 2015, 10:58:49 PM
No matter how much Eddie Coyle adjusts his television reception set up, he keeps getting snow. Goddamn it!

[attachimg=1]

     1:45 AM. I just shoveled the 2-3 inches of snow that has fallen since Midnight. Meaning I've now shoveled every day this month and 25 of the last 26.

      I'm drinking Southern Comfort, Budweiser, listening to Donald Fagen's The Nightfly and watching the snow fall...and now certain that my existence is a figment of an autistic child's imagination. The snow gave it away.

onan

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on February 19, 2015, 12:53:49 AM
     1:45 AM. I just shoveled the 2-3 inches of snow that has fallen since Midnight. Meaning I've now shoveled every day this month and 25 of the last 26.


Eddie Coyle

Quote from: onan on February 19, 2015, 01:25:37 AM


    Yes.  8) and those feet are kicking me in the balls daily.

     My kid has had 11 snow days the past month. I informed him that Boston had 11 snow days from 1985-1993. None from 2/89 to 1/93.

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on February 19, 2015, 01:34:34 AM
    Yes.  8) and those feet are kicking me in the balls daily.

     My kid has had 11 snow days the past month. I informed him that Boston had 11 snow days from 1985-1993. None from 2/89 to 1/93.

I'm no theologian, but I'm beginning to think all that snow is just some old fashioned Old Testament wrath of an irrational, overreacting God being visited on all of Boston as retribution for the multitudinous grievous sins of your youth. So, drink up and pat yourself on the back, because not many people can lay claim to that distinction.

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on February 19, 2015, 12:09:05 PM
I'm no theologian, but I'm beginning to think all that snow is just some old fashioned Old Testament wrath of an irrational, overreacting God being visited on all of Boston as retribution for the multitudinous grievous sins of your youth. So, drink up and pat yourself on the back, because not many people can lay claim to that distinction.

    If that's the case, then the Spring Floods shall be a doozy. I'm fine with the petulance of this jealous God, especially since the rest of New England must feel the wrath as well. That's a fair exchange. Let the Heavens bring that snow. I'd still piss into a Quincy,MA cop car*(11/16/91) put stink bombs in the four corners of a crowded Osco(12/9/88) and attempt to video tape my friend's older sister in the shower**( 3/1/86) amongst other things.

      *unoccupied. The Centurions were inside a Cumberland Farms.
      ** The camera caught steam and pretty much nothing else. Once Firebush turned off the faucet, I beat a hasty retreat.
     

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on February 19, 2015, 01:01:57 PM
    If that's the case, then the Spring Floods shall be a doozy. I'm fine with the petulance of this jealous God, especially since the rest of New England must feel the wrath as well. That's a fair exchange. Let the Heavens bring that snow.

That's why the divine wrathful vengeance of the Old Testament deity sets the standard by which all other oppressive, fear based religions are measured.  The innocent multitudes must always suffer horrible punishments for the sins of the individual, just to make some kind of point that nobody's ever been able to figure out.

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost on February 19, 2015, 01:53:36 PM
That's why the divine wrathful vengeance of the Old Testament deity sets the standard by which all other oppressive, fear based religions are measured.  The innocent multitudes must always suffer horrible punishments for the sins of the individual, just to make some kind of point that nobody's ever been able to figure out.

   Praying(preying, a perfect homonym) was something I did out of fear, not faith. And still succumb to on occasion despite lapsing from Catholicism circa 1989, drifting into Agnosticism and now veered into Atheism. The innocent multitudes having to suffer, proving the Nazis were also grand despoilers with their Sippenhaft practice. Stealing God's ideas. Tsk Tsk.

aldousburbank

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on February 19, 2015, 01:01:57 PM
Once Firebush turned off the faucet, I beat a hasty retreat.
   
You beat a what?

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: aldousburbank on February 19, 2015, 03:30:32 PM
You beat a what?

    I've given away the nickname for my weenis. Hasty Retreat. The only way it's a treat in any form.


Quote from: Eddie Coyle on February 19, 2015, 01:01:57 PM
    If that's the case, then the Spring Floods shall be a doozy. I'm fine with the petulance of this jealous God, especially since the rest of New England must feel the wrath as well. That's a fair exchange. Let the Heavens bring that snow. I'd still piss into a Quincy,MA cop car*(11/16/91) put stink bombs in the four corners of a crowded Osco(12/9/88) and attempt to video tape my friend's older sister in the shower**( 3/1/86) amongst other things.

      *unoccupied. The Centurions were inside a Cumberland Farms.
      ** The camera caught steam and pretty much nothing else. Once Firebush turned off the faucet, I beat a hasty retreat.
   

I'm starting to think you have one of those rare recall abilities like.. What's her name... Marilu Henner.

onan

Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on February 19, 2015, 04:41:15 PM
I'm starting to think you have one of those rare recall abilities like.. What's her name... Marilu Henner.

The Coyle has a perkier personality. breasts too.

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on February 19, 2015, 04:41:15 PM
I'm starting to think you have one of those rare recall abilities like.. What's her name... Marilu Henner.

    This just came up in another thread incidentally. I think the technical term is Rain Man type of kook.

 
Quote from: onan on February 19, 2015, 04:42:55 PM
The Coyle has a perkier personality. breasts too.

     Certainly larger breasts at this point. No mean feat.

jazmunda

A man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night .

The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

The man replied, "That would be my wife."

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