Started by pyewacket, March 01, 2014, 07:34:47 PM
Quote from: pyewacket on June 30, 2014, 11:14:02 PMThe roundest knight at King Arthurâ€™s table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Quote from: Mr. Fidget on July 01, 2014, 01:05:49 AMMy Mom said "An expert is a drip, formerly under pressure."
Quote from: b_dubb on July 01, 2014, 01:27:09 AMWe have a winner
Quote from: pyewacket on July 01, 2014, 10:32:15 AMCriminal Lawyers AwardA Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.The lawyer sued...and won!In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."NOW FOR THE BEST PART...After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
Quote from: pyewacket on July 01, 2014, 12:12:48 PM A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband.After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle.He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl, while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming.She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm - Taken from a Florida Newspaper.
Quote from: phrodo on July 02, 2014, 01:03:39 AMAnd another ... http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/accident/toilet.asp
Quote from: pyewacket on July 02, 2014, 09:22:41 AMThis isn't meant to be a serious newsfeed page. Some urban legends are well written and funny. No harm presenting them on a joke page- we're here, after all, for the laughs. If George can host a radio show- these urban legends can pass as jokes.
Quote from: phrodo on July 02, 2014, 12:56:54 PMDidn't mean that they weren't funny - just not true. They would be even funnier if they were indeed true.