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Any Good Jokes?

Started by pyewacket, March 01, 2014, 07:34:47 PM

Caruthers612

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 03, 2015, 05:45:29 AM
This one came courtesy of Phil Hendrie on his show the other day.

What's the difference between a potato and a chick pea?

You don't pay good money to have a potato on you.

        I heard that on Phil's show, too. He's as funny as ever. Now if only he could deal with his temper and personal issues. It's always a contest for me, between those two. The first makes me a fan, the second makes the show unlistenable. I go back and forth. It just occurred to me that there is probably a Hendrie thread on this site, I'll look.


Caruthers612

Quote from: Georgie For President 2216 on October 25, 2015, 04:41:35 PM


          I approve this joke and plan to use it on other sites in order to take credit for it.

Caruthers612


            Once upon a time there were two Germans. Now look how many there are.


onan

What did the potato chip say to the battery?

If you're everready,
I'm fritolay

VtaGeezer

Two Irish nuns riding their bicycles to the market...
Sister Joseph "Sister Robert; I've never come this way before"
Sister Robert "Aye, Sister...it's the cobbles."




Who

This isn't a joke but a riddle or logic exercise.  Two unmarked, identical doors are before you.  One leads to Heaven, the other to Hell.  Each door has a man standing in front of it.  One always lies, the other always tells the truth (you don't know which is which).

You may ask ONE question of ONE man.  Then you must select a door.  Assuming you want to go to  Heaven, what is that one question?

PM me if you you'd like the answer.


Who

Norman Dickhead's name had always been a liability.  The other kids made fun of him when he was in school.  When he was an adult he felt his name prevented him from getting the kind of employment he desired.  He finally decided it was time to change his name.  He had an attorney file the paperwork for him at the local courthouse.  Finally, the big day arrived.  He received the documents declaring that his new name was official.  He decided to go out on the town and celebrate his new name - Roger Dickhead.






pyewacket

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on December 10, 2015, 04:20:51 PM

Neil Peart....Ah, one day he'll be good.  ;)

Uh oh- don't let aldous hear you say that!  ;D



Hautex

The latest toy has hit the shops... a talking Muslim doll.

Nobody knows what it says,
because no one has the guts to pull the cord.




Ciardelo

Quote from: Philosopher on December 23, 2015, 10:12:37 AM
Re: Any Good Jokes?


Radio's Bell is sound example for entrepreneurs

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/columnist/strauss/2015/06/15/steve-strauss-art-bell-small-business/28459885/
FTA:
While he planned on having it available only online, to date 20 terrestrial radio stations have already signed on to carry the show. The catch? They have to agree to carry only six minutes of commercials an hour. "Why is that a requirement?" I asked. "Because I want content and more content!" he bellowed happily in that unmistakable voice.
:::groan:::

Philosopher

Quote from: Ciardelo on December 23, 2015, 10:18:16 AM
FTA:
While he planned on having it available only online, to date 20 terrestrial radio stations have already signed on to carry the show. The catch? They have to agree to carry only six minutes of commercials an hour. "Why is that a requirement?" I asked. "Because I want content and more content!" he bellowed happily in that unmistakable voice.
:::groan:::

Yes, the joke el supremo.





Philosopher

Quote from: pyewacket on December 23, 2015, 11:33:16 AM


... And Political Science is like finding a black cat in a dark room with a flashlight, and then being fired for profiling.


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