The GabCast (A podcast about BellGab)

[Jackstar]

I sense disturbances in the Force via my available HumInt resources.

Mewling, bleating, shrieking cowards. What's wrong, can't unmute all of your mics? Am I getting in the way?

That's too bad. I don't plan on being passed out in an opium den tonight. Tomorrow night is not looking too good either.

     ! This message contains unconfirmed information and/or speculation

This content has been brought to you in part by the Magick In Broadcasting Content DElivery Network, in alliance with The Seaden Cash Dontation Network. ANNOUNCEMENT: money laundering across international borders without proper apostille authorization is a crime, Fuckhead. What are you, drunk? Fucking stop giving my money away, you stupid fucking (CENSORED). Papa needs a new pair of shoes.

[Silphion]

Mewling, bleating, shrieking cowards. What's wrong, can't unmute all of your mics? Am I getting in the way?

That's too bad. I don't plan on being passed out in an opium den tonight. Tomorrow night is not looking too good either.


This content has been brought to you in part by the Magick In Broadcasting Content DElivery Network, in alliance with The Seaden Cash Dontation Network. ANNOUNCEMENT: money laundering across international borders without proper apostille authorization is a crime, Fuckhead. What are you, drunk? Fucking stop giving my money away, you stupid fucking (CENSORED). Papa needs a new pair of shoes.

Shirking cowards would be more fitting,
otherwise the sense of vehemence is appropriate.
No need to pander for footwear, though.

[Jackstar]

Some of you out there are feeling this way, and you should, because... Infinite Mode is real.

When you lay down with dogs, you lay with My dogs. And boy O boy, are my dogs hungry.


This is exciting, isn't it? By the way, if you could spam that "Michael Kuczi Is A Stalker" webpage around a bit for me, that would be great. I know, I know, I know, SEEN IT, OLD NEWS, yet nevertheless, this really bumps up my branding.


And, yes, I did wake up on the right side of the bed this morning and I'm fine--thanks for asking! Someone asked nicely, though, so... I am hurrying up The Plan. I'm kinda a big deal around here, you know? And I'm well-known across half the galaxy for my ability to get out and push.

One is excused from mistakenly assuming that I am Russian. This is just how things are rolling out this time around. Relax, Punylings: I got this.

[Dr. MD MD]

Shirking cowards would be more fitting,
otherwise the sense of vehemence is appropriate.
No need to pander for footwear, though.

He seemed to have nice boots to go with his kilt from the pics I saw.

[K_Dubb]

He seemed to have nice boots to go with his kilt from the pics I saw.

I HAVE THE SAME BOOTS!

[Dr. MD MD]

I HAVE THE SAME BOOTS!

Yeah, I mean, they weren’t Doc Martens but nice enough.

[K_Dubb]

Yeah, I mean, they weren’t Doc Martens but nice enough.

Doc Martens are trite, cliche, poser boots.  I want the maroon ones.

[Jackstar]

Shirking cowards

Trust Me, know Me, believe Me: at this point, anyone willfully shirking any duty is an exceptionally brave individual. Or, equipped with mirrored psychokinetic shielding--you know, whatever.

No need to pander for footwear, though.

Can we set up a trade? My mother's clothes, for more shoes for Grapefruit? Come on, she really needs them, and not all of my mother's clothes will fit her, and I need to get them the fuck out of here. Look, look, read, read: it's not that I am asking you for help, it's just that, your super-serious looking-down-the-nose tone is really out of place here.

And, it really hurts my feelings. I have to go cry now. Sob bluh. Have you ever made a bluff that was called twice? Because I have, and I think you could really up your laser-lock game here, I really do. Open the throttle, it's safe.

IN CONTROL.

[pate]

... Gaslighter #1...

https://youtu.be/sbVPcPL30xc

          ! This video has not been reviewed for artistic merit

[Dr. MD MD]

Doc Martens are trite, cliche, poser boots.  I want the maroon ones.

Heh heh.

[Jackstar]

I want the maroon ones.

I'll swing by the shop and bring back some menstrual blood for you on the way back from my hourly crying jag break. You provide the blood and the sweat, and then with my tears and the residue of Her menses, we'll have everything we need to properly dye these dragonskin boots I happen to have lying around.

Don't say I've never done anything for you. Grapefruit do something.

Heh heh.

Do you even slay dragons, Bro? Sad.

[Dr. MD MD]

Still no Gabcast.

[Dr. MD MD]

I'll swing by the shop and bring back some menstrual blood for you on the way back from my hourly crying jag break. You provide the blood and the sweat, and then with my tears and the residue of Her menses, we'll have everything we need to properly dye these dragonskin boots I happen to have lying around.

Don't say I've never done anything for you. Grapefruit do something.


Do you even slay dragons, Bro? Sad.

Hey, you said you were renowned for getting out and pushing. Do I have to do EVERYTHING here?! :

[K_Dubb]

I'll swing by the shop and bring back some menstrual blood for you on the way back from my hourly crying jag break. You provide the blood and the sweat, and then with my tears and the residue of Her menses, we'll have everything we need to properly dye these dragonskin boots I happen to have lying around.

Don't say I've never done anything for you. Grapefruit do something.

Neat now with dragon boots I can finally kick doc in the ass!

[K_Dubb]

Still no Gabcast.

We have assembled.  Are we to disperse, cast down, brokenhearted?  Bunny do something.

[Silphion]

... it's not that I am asking you for help, it's just that, your super-serious looking-down-the-nose tone is really out of place here. And, it really hurts my feelings. I have to go cry now. Sob bluh ...

Butthurt?

Maybe have someone more accommodating give you a good one.

[attachment=1,msg1446068]

[Dr. MD MD]

Neat now with dragon boots I can finally kick doc in the ass!

Sigh...K_Dubb, you know how that will wind up. :


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doT-w_g2Yvg

[K_Dubb]

Butthurt?

Maybe have someone more accommodating give you a good one.

[attachment=1,msg1446068]

THOSE ARE THE BOOTS get thee behind me Satan

[K_Dubb]

Sigh...K_Dubb, you know how that will wind up. :

[pate]

Sigh...K_Dubb, you know how that will wind up. ::)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doT-w_g2Yvg

You two will end up kissing each other?  Totally gay! (not that there is anything wrong with that)

-p

[Dr. MD MD]

You two will end up kissing each other?  Totally gay! (not that there is anything wrong with that)

-p

I know you watched this vid, pate. Nice try though.

[Jackstar]

Still no Gabcast.

After the last three, I truly don't give a shit. You worthless twats are an embarrassment. I don't know who authorized your bullshit op, but, trust Me: some of your shit just got shut down. The reason that I know this, is that I had planned on sleeping, and instead, I found myself instantly awake, fully Activated, Infinite Mode power meter fully charged, with a full queue of agendas to DECLAS, and... trust Me, I would much rather be doing something else.

As well as someone else. WAYFARER EXECUTE. GLOOP GLOOP GLOOP OMAHA TWENTY-NINE. Dammit! Still no portal. This screwdriver sucks. Anyway, long story short--I would rather not be, but here I am, all alone, all packed up, and no place to go. So I guess I am producing, packaging, and purposing your GabCast for the evening. Fun and easy--for Me! It is an honor to serve, and a pleasure to brazenly flaunt my power before any who cares to see, as usually I am constrained by at least a smidgen of humility and a maximum of Company Regulation. I know you're all used to audio/video, but I am told that a Very Special Guest has been scheduled to be negotiated with tonight, and this VSG can neither be seen nor heard. Like... not just a vampire, but a shy vampire. I don't think she's a vampire, though. Maybe an interdimensional paralegal? I don't know, They don't tell me these things. But as I am sitting here getting fully formed and fleshed-out ideas in my mind out of nowhere--and I would prefer not to--I am guessing that something serious is going down somewhere in SLO. Good times, good fun, the liberation of your world continues. You're welcome.

And frankly, I can hardly wait. Pretending to be on Mars while posting from my mother's basement isn't as much fun as it looks, you know. Also, the caviar here sucks, and in spite of all appearances, I am not abusing--or even, overly using--illicit drugs. Or even licit ones. Since COVID-19, my access to such things has been brutally curtailed. Thanks, (REDACTED)!

Speaking of licit drugs, if you're in Seattle and you wanna give me something that'll get me HAF, text me your address and I'll be there ASAP with three cellphones, two needles, and one burning desire to make a take-home video for Grapefruit that she can share with The Family. (This statement, like any other, is not meant to be taken literally, and there is no actual need to make any more videos, as The Family already has plenty, one of which--my favorite--is already on my phone! JACK CALL THE POLICE)

[DanTSX]

Doc Martens are trite, cliche, poser boots.  I want the maroon ones.

I got new boots today!



[attachment=1,msg1446080]

[K_Dubb]

I got new boots today!



[attachment=1,msg1446080]

CAPTOES GET OUT!!!

Captoes are so hot.

[Jackstar]

I know you watched this vid, pate. Nice try though.

I just tried to get permission to post an adorable video of Grapefruit and her son--who is really, really cool, I love him, and don't let anyone tell you any different without realizing that we have to pretend to hate each other so his cocksucking Grandfather won't sell him off for parts--but Grapefruit said, "I would prefer that you not," and Grapefruit's son asked her in response, "Why are you asking me?" and she said, "Jack needs your permission to post it, because you're in the video," and then he says--get this--"I don't negotiate with terrorists."

Fuckin' baller. Seriously, Grapefruit's kid is an absolute madman, and I love him--that's why I'm going to let him post the link to the story I wrote describing the time he walked in on her and I himself. He needs to learn to not be embarrassed about certain things, and I am just the Master to do it.

Also: Grapefruit's kid is 21, so when I post "I love Grapefruit's kid," let's be clear, I'm talking about an adult kid. And as I am confident in my own masculinity and I am an adult Star, I do not give even one single solitary shit if this embarasses him or her. Note that, while it might be abusive to try to embarass them... there's no law against not giving even one single solitary shit if one happens to forget to remember that it might--a solid legal loophole I learned about while I was lassoing fleeing Kids back in 'Nam.

Some individuals need to learn to not be embarrassed about certain things, Cocksucker. Still think you don't need to to apologize? Well, you know what? You were right, you don't really need to--this is much, much more fun, for me, so thanks for hanging me out to dry for two years. And it's too late to apologize: NOTHING CAN STOP WHAT IS COMING.

NOTHING. Hey, Kid--thank you for taking care of your Mother. This is exciting, isn't it?

[Dr. MD MD]

I just tried to get permission to post an adorable video of Grapefruit and her son--who is really, really cool, I love him, and don't let anyone tell you any different without realizing that we have to pretend to hate each other so his cocksucking Grandfather won't sell him off for parts--but Grapefruit said, "I would prefer that you not," and Grapefruit's son asked her in response, "Why are you asking me?" and she said, "Jack needs your permission to post it, because you're in the video," and then he says--get this--"I don't negotiate with terrorists."

Fuckin' baller. Seriously, Grapefruit's kid is an absolute madman, and I love him--that's why I'm going to let him post the link to the story I wrote describing the time he walked in on her and I himself. He needs to learn to not be embarrassed about certain things, and I am just the Master to do it.

Also: Grapefruit's kid is 21, so when I post "I love Grapefruit's kid," let's be clear, I'm talking about an adult kid. And as I am confident in my own masculinity and I am an adult Star, I do not give even one single solitary shit if this embarasses him or her. Note that, while it might be abusive to try to embarass them... there's no law against not giving even one single solitary shit if one happens to forget to remember that it might--a solid legal loophole I learned about while I was lassoing fleeing Kids back in 'Nam.

Some individuals need to learn to not be embarrassed about certain things, Cocksucker. Still think you don't need to to apologize? Well, you know what? You were right, you don't really need to--this is much, much more fun, for me, so thanks for hanging me out to dry for two years. And it's too late to apologize: NOTHING CAN STOP WHAT IS COMING.

NOTHING. Hey, Kid--thank you for taking care of your Mother. This is exciting, isn't it?

Mam, I’m just trying to drive you to the store.

[AZZERAE]

Buy him some Church's Fried Chicken, grilled jalapenos and a pack of tortillas...all will be forgotten.

Y'know, Decon calls his subscribers stupid for supporting his show.

[AZZERAE]

Doc Martens are trite, cliche, poser boots.

I couldn't disagree more. The fever of homosexuality has infected your brain, and will ultimately do you in.

[AZZERAE]

You and gay robot boy get defeated multiple times a day. I guess victory really is subjective.

[Jackstar]

Still no Gabcast. :'(

After the last three, I truly don't give a shit. You worthless twats are an embarrassment. I don't know who authorized your bullshit op, but, trust Me: some of your shit just got shut down.

Fallout from this event continues to be immense. She's all screaming and crying and carrying on about all manner of loopy MK-Ultra shit.

God, the forensic investigators must love me. Look how easy I make their job for them. If you get a chance remember to ask them for some quality crisis therapy. I'd go find it for you but you haven't asked me, and I can't do things for you unless you ask.

Especially since you don't do the things for me that I ask. You only do for me, the things you think I need to have done.

Reminder: interstate wire fraud means RICO, and RICO means beyond busted. Semper fi. Thanks for bringing me back a souvenir. I asked for two, but of course, you're in shock.

/flex