George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[PortlandDangler]

Didn't norry sign a new contract last year? DAMN! Mush mouthed bastard!

[NoMoreNoory]

Wouldn't this have worked like reverse engineering on the Mush Mouth and leave him suddenly, miraculously able to speak normally?

[Nucky Nolan]

No more fuckin' pizza rolls!!! Too goddamned complicated.[attachimg=1]

Yet one more dangerous threat we face in these perilous End Times.

(Not) Tommy: "Didn't you read that instructional pamphlet I bought for you? You know the one. Dick and Jane Microwave Snacks?"

[PortlandDangler]

Wouldn't this have worked like reverse engineering on the Mush Mouth and leave him suddenly, miraculously able to speak normally?

  He was giving a satan a blow-job. I'm pretty sure it will be documented on his new t.v. show beyond belief. Now that's a spicey MEATBALL!

[Sardondi]

Well, maybe they're not talking about it because it's kinda, uh, embarrassing. Besides, how long does it take to heal from one of these?

Okay, I claim that I'm closest to the actual reason.

*Note to (Not) George Noory - C'mon man, a burned body? You really think that's some hilarious shit? Last time I checked this wasn't 4chan.

[Doomed]

I just returned from the post office. I sent noory a free subscription to the pizza roll of the month club, along with a case of Jenos best. I wouldnt want one little mishap to dampen his lust for little rolls filled with molten lava.
As far as mush-mouth goes, if he keeps it up, by this time next year he'll sound exactly like Assy McGee. (little more work on those jowels and he'll look like him too).

[George49]

So alls well and ends well for Noory.

This was nothing more than a ratings attempt folks. Here is how it works. Noory burns mouth on 'pizza roll' claiming it did more damage then it was let on. Well then the replacement host teases how he had a 'Bizarre accident' leaving the listener to wonder what happened to Noory. Thinking it must be very serious. Well this causes a huge spike in ratings because everyone is tuning in to find out. A very underhanded trick in the radio and TV business. But Noory has won this time, but his day will come..He'll run out of tricks soon enough.

[PortlandDangler]

So alls well and ends well for Noory.

This was nothing more than a ratings attempt folks. Here is how it works. Noory burns mouth on 'pizza roll' claiming it did more damage then it was let on. Well then the replacement host teases how he had a 'Bizarre accident' leaving the listener to wonder what happened to Noory. Thinking it must be very serious. Well this causes a huge spike in ratings because everyone is tuning in to find out. A very underhanded trick in the radio and TV business. But Noory has won this time, but his day will come..He'll run out of tricks soon enough.

  The second he did the news of the day I knew it wasn't going to be anything truely important. Oh well. Crap show.

[DarkDestroyer98]

The way George told that pizza roll story, you'd think he'd ate one with a ghost chilli in it or something. I've burned my tongue on a pizza pop or pizza pocket before, but I've not heard of a story where it caused second degree burns or whatever George claimed it was. Linda is on tonight so that means I won't be listening.

Mike Siegel was pretty bad...but not as bad as George has been. I liked Rob Simone's shows. He seemed genuinely interested in the guests and asked decent questions, unlike George. 

[EnterDragon]

So alls well and ends well for Noory.

This was nothing more than a ratings attempt folks. Here is how it works. Noory burns mouth on 'pizza roll' claiming it did more damage then it was let on. Well then the replacement host teases how he had a 'Bizarre accident' leaving the listener to wonder what happened to Noory. Thinking it must be very serious. Well this causes a huge spike in ratings because everyone is tuning in to find out. A very underhanded trick in the radio and TV business. But Noory has won this time, but his day will come..He'll run out of tricks soon enough.

He said he's carrying a flashlight for anyone willing to inspect his mouth. I wonder if Tom checked him to see if he was telling the truth.

[stevesh]

It sounded like something right out of Jorch's Eye Pad, with Tommy taking George to the hospital.  "Tommy was born in LA so he knows where these places are!"  Like it's impossible to find a HOSPITAL in LA if you weren't BORN there...

That was the strangest part of this alleged 'encounter'. You burn your mouth so badly that the skin on the roof of your mouth falls off and your throat starts to close up, and you wait until the next day so your little buddy can drive you to the hospital? WTF ?

Also, I wonder why LMH (who I like) decided to burn an hour on the 'proof of heaven' guy, when he himself was on C2C a couple of weeks ago ?

I am starting to get interested in this Alaskan power-producing pyramid story, though.

[DeeElf]

I'm not alone!

Thank you for understanding about GN.  He's such a weenie--and a goober.  And he's so out of touch; and evidently a careless broadcaster or a crappy multi-tasker--or both!?

I still don't understand why Art let it happen.

[michio]

If Simple George had read the directions on the pizza rolls box he may have noticed something like this: "WARNING: Food is extremely hot after microwaving. Allow ? minutes to cool before handling and eating."  What does Simple George do? He actually didn't read the directions even though he said he did, popping it in his mouth and leaving it there to sizzle for a full five seconds while cooking at (what felt like) 500F.  Then he wanted (he's kidding, of course) to send the uneaten pizza rolls back to the company saying how his listeners were given two blissful nights off were deprived of his hosting talent for two nights in a row. Yeah, right, and they can reply with an instruction manual written for children on how to eat foods from any kind of oven without being a burn trauma unit drama queen.  Jeesh.

[DeeElf]

"I want to go out as a hero.  Not from a pizza roll."

I just want you to go out. 

Really?  A hero? 

Although, it does fit his ambition before excellence ethic, not to mention serve his megalomaniacal ego.

[Unquenchable Angst]

The packages warn about the affect.Warnings are one thing,Igredients alone should warn of sustainence of item.Microwaves heat to water boiling temperature but when it involves cheese ,that gets to the boiling point of the fats in the cheese. (250-300+F?).I did that to myself back in the 80's.Microwaved cheese is a killer.My pallate was a big blister.Bad thing is 'boiling cheese' sticks like napalm.I am a microwave Luddite to this day from that and other reasons.I do not have one.I am not to easy about having a cell phone against my head either, even though cell phones are 1000+% lower power than a microwave oven.I think about those WWII stories of radar operators 'feeling' the heat to see if the equipment was operating.

[Juan]

Interesting to me that LMH voiced not one word of sympathy.  She rose in my estimation.  Then she talked for a half-hour to an idiot who tried to equate global warming sea rise with Hurricane Sandy's storm surge.

Also, as sNoory talked about Tommy taking him to the hospital, I was seeing PB's Eye Pad characters in my mind.

[NoMoreNoory]

He said he's carrying a flashlight for anyone willing to inspect his mouth. I wonder if Tom checked him to see if he was telling the truth.

Are you sure he wasn't trying to say he'd lent his fleshlight to Tommy? Difficult for George to sort his vowels out at the best of times, let alone with second degree burns to his forked tongue

[Sardondi]

But now George is thinking, "I've eaten hundreds of pieces of pizza which Fat Boy has microwaved for me, and I've never burned my mouth. Why now? Was this...an assassination attempt?"

[Sleepwalker]

Regarding George's "accident."  Two bits of irony:

I was listening to Coast to Coast on CKLW, Windsor, Ontario.  Just at the moment George said he bit into the pizza roll, CKLW broke away, at that very moment, to local commercials.  CKLW listeners didn't get to hear the story - which is probably fortunate.

The second bit of irony.  This is the man who preaches against vaccines.  Vaccines that have practically eliminated small pox and polio. And greatly reduced the incidence of chicken pox and other nasty diseases.  He won't even get  a common flu shot.  But he WILL go into a CONVENIENCE store, buy a sandwich and EAT it.  Did you ever pick up a convenience store sandwich and look at it?  Most of them have a date on them.  They make them one day, date them as good for three days, and then stack them up in the cooler.  And George EATS those things?

Vaccines BAD.  Convenience store refrigerated 3 day-old sandwich GOOD.

My British friends have a word for George: DAFT.

[oeepeners]

Regarding George's "accident."  Two bits of irony:

I was listening to Coast to Coast on CKLW, Windsor, Ontario.  Just at the moment George said he bit into the pizza roll, CKLW broke away, at that very moment, to local commercials.  CKLW listeners didn't get to hear the story - which is probably fortunate.

The second bit of irony.  This is the man who preaches against vaccines.  Vaccines that have practically eliminated small pox and polio. And greatly reduced the incidence of chicken pox and other nasty diseases.  He won't even get  a common flu shot.  But he WILL go into a CONVENIENCE store, buy a sandwich and EAT it.  Did you ever pick up a convenience store sandwich and look at it?  Most of them have a date on them.  They make them one day, date them as good for three days, and then stack them up in the cooler.  And George EATS those things?

Vaccines BAD.  Convenience store refrigerated 3 day-old sandwich GOOD.

My British friends have a word for George: DAFT.

i believe more can go wrong from getting a shot than eating food past expiration date, and that food is refrigerated not left out.

http://business.time.com/2011/04/13/the-joy-and-wisdom-of-eating-food-past-the-expiration-date/

like getting a dirty needle.
http://patients.about.com/b/2011/04/29/just-like-a-junkie-when-your-doctor-uses-dirty-needles.htm

or expired vaccines
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/health&id=8691741

[HorrorRetro]

I never listen to the show but, against my better judgment, I did listen for the big announcement.  :

I just love how he claimed veteran status to prop up his injury claim.  "I'm an old Navy veteran, but this was really bad!"

At one point, he said, "I popped it into my mouth, squeezed it, it exploded, but I didn't swallow."  Does he even realize what comes out of  his mouth and how it can be interpreted?  Rhetorical question, obviously. 

The show has hit a new low.  I wasn't sure that was possible.

[ZombiePoppa]

I'll bet 90% of you virgins eat gas station sandwiches on a regular basis.

Snoory is a lazy piece of shit who couldn't be bothered to heat up his pizza rolls in the oven like someone who isn't an impatient 17-year-old stoner... Lazy on the radio, lazy in the kitchen; I'll bet he's even lazier in the sack.

[Sleepwalker]

i believe more can go wrong from getting a shot than eating food past expiration date, and that food is refrigerated not left out.

Have you considered how many lives have been saved by smallpox vaccine?  Polio vaccine?  Flu and Pneumonia vaccines?   Yes, hospitals make mistakes and doctors sometimes kill their patients.  But vaccines have saved millions of lives over the years.  To deny that is to join the ranks of the birthers and the Flat Earth Society.

[PB the Deplorable]

He said he's carrying a flashlight for anyone willing to inspect his mouth...

And there it is.

Whatever story he came up with, I was confident George would find a way to make it creepy.

[Morgus]

I never listen to the show but, against my better judgment, I did listen for the big announcement.

Several have said they did the same.
I suspect that may have been Noory's plan - to create a stunt to raise his ratings at the end of November, looks like it may have worked with so many returning to listen the night of his return for his bizarre story?

[ManiacMatt]

I don't believe Noory's stupid story.  If he is telling the truth, then he is even dumber than I thought.  If the story is fiction, then he is a very uncreative liar.

If you are national talk show host that likes to have nutritionists and so-called "health advocates" on; why would you admit that your eating junk food out of a microwave?  If you get paid to talk, wouldn't you make sure things aren't too hot before popping them into your mouth?  Of course, this is common sense which Noory is obviously lacking.

It just boils down to the fact the Noory is an idiot and a major phony.  He acts like he is really into health and seeking the truth in all things, but he eats microwaved junk food and doesn't read.  Complete phony.

A flashlight to inspect your mouth?!  Is he so delusional to think that people would actually want to do that?  Of course he is.

The entire story makes him look stupid and as P*Boy says he had to find a way to make it creepy.

[McPhallus]

To keep things in perspective, let's not forget Art's incident with the superglue.  Just sayin'

[Juan]

sNoory should have read the Urban Dictionary


A pizza roll is a bunch of something that i'm not sure of rolled into a little roll. And as soon as you bite into those little fuckers it bursts out the other end, so you have to stuff the whole thing in your mouth. Only to realize its like a mouthful of lava! Pizza-y, yummy lava! ...... but that doesnt mean it doesnt burn like shit

[Grimace]

Heh, haven't posted in a while... haven't listened to coast in a while. Whether Noory's little "crisis" actually occurred or it were a ratings stunt, you've got to just sit back and laugh your ass off at how pathetic it is on either front. What fully functioning adult doesn't either A ) understand that you cut into something you microwave to get an idea of how warm it is on the inside or B) would be shameless enough to tell those other than close friends or family about such a dumbass moment - real or fabricated. We all know this gallon-of-dye-mustache muppet is a schmuck of gargantuan proportions, but once again he sets his bar even lower. After letting sink in what I just heard this moron tell a national audience, I thought to myself how I much I wished it did happen and he "swallowed," lol. I can't say I normally wish physical harm to people who do little more than annoy me, but holy shit, imagine him not being able to talk. He can't really talk anyway. The thought of Noory actually being forced to check out either for a few weeks or for good made me smile.

[Grimace]

sNoory should have read the Urban Dictionary


A pizza roll is a bunch of something that i'm not sure of rolled into a little roll. And as soon as you bite into those little fuckers it bursts out the other end, so you have to stuff the whole thing in your mouth. Only to realize its like a mouthful of lava! Pizza-y, yummy lava! ...... but that doesnt mean it doesnt burn like shit

Haha, true but replace "yummy" with the taste of failure. Best paired with your favorite sub-$8 twelve pack, and drink at least six before microwaving.