George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Camazotz Automat]

"It's like an underground submarine." - George Noory, 2:45 AM CST.  Said in response to Oberon Zell's explanation of humps forming from digested vegetable matter giving off methane gas within a theoretical aquatic slug which in turn could be the identity of the Loch Ness Monster.


(I'm not ridiculing Zell's aquatic slug theory, but rather, George's subterranean submarine.)


(I wonder if I misheard "underground." If anyone heard or hears differently, let me know so we can remove my post.  I like to quote Noory as accurately as possible.)

[Lovely Bones]

Noory only appears on Ancient Aliens because he allowed the show's creator to appear on c2c a few times...
Noory told of taping his segments for the whole season in one day, he probably just makes some random comments and they edit clips from that into different episodes. Thats why they often seem incoherent or generic. 

you think that's the only reason??   

[Marc.Knight]

Noory told of taping his segments for the whole season in one day, he probably just makes some random comments and they edit clips from that into different episodes. Thats why they often seem incoherent or generic. 

That explains the radio show.

[El Kragen]

"It's like an underground submarine." - George Noory, 2:45 AM CST.  Said in response to Oberon Zell's explanation of humps forming from digested vegetable matter giving off methane gas within a theoretical aquatic slug which in turn could be the identity of the Loch Ness Monster.

(I wonder if I misheard "underground." If anyone heard or hears differently, let me know so we can remove my post.  I like to quote Noory as accurately as possible.)

I just listed to that segment and yes, you are correct. George said clearly "It's like underground submarine!" And that's a direct quote Simple George left out the "an".

[PortlandDangler]

Noory knows about his small band of "haters". He has mentioned this site (not by name of course) during an interview with one of his guests I heard on a podcast. That's great george...I'm sure most of us would give you a chance if you put in the work while on the air. Stop rubbing your guests egos by cutting off legitimate callers that are well spoken and make a solid point. If you don't want your guest to get BUTTHURT then don't take CALLS! Letting the guest say whatever the hell they want without being questioned is ridiculous!

[BobGrau]

Noory knows about his small band of "haters". He has mentioned this site (not by name of course) during an interview with one of his guests I heard on a podcast. That's great george...I'm sure most of us would give you a chance if you put in the work while on the air. Stop rubbing your guests egos by cutting off legitimate callers that are well spoken and make a solid point. If you don't want your guest to get BUTTHURT then don't take CALLS! Letting the guest say whatever the hell they want without being questioned is ridiculous!

It's ridiculous to call us 'haters'... any market-savvy media person would refer to us as 'potential audience' and perhaps, y'know, WORK ON IMPROVING HIS GAME?

[fysisist]

Noory knows about his small band of "haters". He has mentioned this site (not by name of course) during an interview with one of his guests I heard on a podcast. That's great george...I'm sure most of us would give you a chance if you put in the work while on the air. Stop rubbing your guests egos by cutting off legitimate callers that are well spoken and make a solid point. If you don't want your guest to get BUTTHURT then don't take CALLS! Letting the guest say whatever the hell they want without being questioned is ridiculous!

I heard Noory on an interview on some podcast on XM about a week or so ago.  He says that his show is a forum for his guests to be heard, not critiqued.  A friendly, open forum for all.  I think this is because he doesn't want to be critiqued.  He must have some idea by now that he is uninformed and rarely has any insight into any subject, and he must have suffered some slap-downs occasionally for saying ridiculous and inane things, and his mustachioed ego is still hurting.  So he longs for and aspires to create a completely safe and warm-fuzzy atmosphere where he is free to utter any and all BS that comes to mind, and to allow his guests to do the same.  That is why his questions are generally pointless and uninteresting, because that might be interpreted as being critical, and god knows he doesn't want to be held responsible in any way for anything that he says.  So really the show is just one long, extended, malodorous Noory brain fart.  And somehow, he thinks this is the way to get the truth out.  What a putz. 

[PB the Deplorable]

George has got it set up a) to try to hide his weaknesses and b) to be able to put in as little effort as possible.  He once referred to it as 'his system'.  Unfortunately for George, hiding weaknesses only works when a person has some strenghts.  The only strengths he has are that he currently has the job, and that his producers can make his voice deep and Casey Kasem-like.


Prepare?  George says he wants to hear what the guests have to say at the same time the audience hears them.

Ask good questions, challenge the guest a little?  George doesn't want the show to be about yellin' and screamin'

Get right to it and not waste time with the 'how are you' line of questioning?  George wants to make the guests feel comfortable.

Ask new questions of guests that have been on dozens of time?  These dog-eared cue cards are for thuh new lissners.

Doesn't follow the conversation or ask good follow up questions?  It's up to the guest to come on and put out the information.

Interruptions and dumb comments that come out of the blue?  George has 126 years of broadcast experience and knows what is boring and what makes for good radio.

Unscreened calls?  George claims he has too many listeners that are 'drunks, druggies and delusionals' to have open unscreened lines.  Not to mention thuh haters.

Interjection of very stupid religious and political views that no one else on earth shares?  George says we don't know what he thinks, he's just there to facilitate.

Lousy gloom and doom rip-off products?  George personally approves the products and wouldn't have any that are suspect or that he doesn't believe in.  Even, apparently, the ones that seem to be on ALL the PremRat shows.

Ghastly sick news stories focusing on gruesome deaths of kids and animals?  People like to be scared and creeped out, like with horror movies.

Dumbed down and dreadfully boring?  George is #2 just after Rush, 5 or 6 hundred affiliates, etc, etc



And on and on.  If George had put as much effort into improving as he does finding excuses to Suck, he just might be somewhat listenable once in awhile.

[UnscreenedCaller]

= That is why his questions are generally pointless and uninteresting, because that might be interpreted as being critical, and god knows he doesn't want to be held responsible in any way for anything that he says.  So really the show is just one long, extended, malodorous Noory brain fart.  And somehow, he thinks this is the way to get the truth out.  What a putz.

George Noory wouldn't recognize the truth if it kicked him square in the ass. He makes all these claims about the hours he puts in, but when it comes time to actually interviewing someone, it's painfully obvious he hasn't even so much as skimmed the chapter titles of the book the person wrote, or googled background information on him or his subject. With people like Hoagland, he takes the easy route: he lets them ramble on and on making more and more ridiculous assertions, until you have to wonder if they sense his disinterest and are having fun with him.


I listened to Art for a long time, Ian and now Knapp and they are always prepared when a guest comes on. They manage to get interesting conversations going, real give and take, and along the way I've always learned something. They also call BS when they hear it, not in a confrontational way, but in a way that lets the guest know they know he or she is full of shit. And that's great, too. There have been so many times when, by chance, a guest got a good, interesting conversational flow going and then when it was George's turn to ask a followup question, he just killed the flow with a moronic non-sequitur that left no doubt in anyone's mind that he is not up to the job of interviewing, and is, in fact, an idiot.


All this woo woo handwavery stuff, the "Sumpins out there" or "I'm seeking the trooth" is nothing more than a cover up for someone who has very little going on upstairs. At least with Art and someone like Hoagland or Dames, it was like sitting around the campfire swapping stories. YOu knew it was bullshit, he knew it was bullshit, but it was entertaining and fun. Pointing and laughing is about the only fun there is in C2C with George at the helm.

[analog kid]

you think that's the only reason??   

We don't know, therefore aliens.

[aldousburbank]

Oberon Zell is a modern Renaissance man.
He is a transpersonal psychologist, metaphysician, naturalist, theologian, shaman, author, artist, sculptor, lecturer, teacher, and ordained Priest of the Earth-Mother, Gaia.

...and etc, etc, etc.  Hey Guild, happy page 420!  Happy hating everyone!

[Camazotz Automat]

I just listened to that segment and yes, you are correct. George said clearly "It's like underground submarine!" And that's a direct quote Simple George left out the "an".

Much appreciated, EK. Because of the "an" I used, we'll say mine was a "generous quote," and yours is dead on, including the exclamation point. He was obviously excited when he said it.

[Camazotz Automat]

It's ridiculous to call us 'haters'... any market-savvy media person would refer to us as 'potential audience' and perhaps, y'know, WORK ON IMPROVING HIS GAME?

I have to agree about the potential of MV's site. It remains a mystery why George's "handlers" (I amuse myself here) do not use this site to their benefit.

Combing through current as well as archived material, there is a goldmine (avoiding 1990's hip word "plethora") of feedback, information, and suggestions that would assist Noory in the big picture. Coastgab could be his personal boot camp. Online. Free Gratis. (see DEADWOOD... har har har.)

If Noory would just fucking enlist.

(the risk of him going FULL METAL JACKET is acknowledged)

[testpattern]

Anyone listening to tonight's adventure in Nooronity? The guest joked that his wife thinks he could pass for a 12-year old.... an obvious immaturity reference that women often make (often justifiably) about their husbands..... George, of course, didn't get it. "REALLY?" he responds. Jesus what a fucking idiot.   

[Sardondi]

Anyone listening to tonight's adventure in Nooronity? The guest joked that his wife thinks he could pass for a 12-year old.... an obvious immaturity reference that women often make (often justifiably) about their husbands..... George, of course, didn't get it. "REALLY?" he responds. Jesus what a fucking idiot.

Remember, Noory is obsessed what he thinks is his "youthfulness", fitness, life extension, etc. Have you ever seen the pic of that sad man beclowning himself with a biceps flex?

Passing for 12? George was jealous.

[RecoveringNoorholic]

Anyone listening to tonight's adventure in Nooronity? The guest joked that his wife thinks he could pass for a 12-year old.... an obvious immaturity reference that women often make (often justifiably) about their husbands..... George, of course, didn't get it. "REALLY?" he responds. Jesus what a fucking idiot.

Tonight's show was quite possibly the stupidest Noory show I've ever heard and that's saying a lot. All it was - some ex-cop telling really mundane, boring cop stories that were all like 2 sentences long ("I once raided a home where they were growing meth. Uhhhh ... then, when we went in, we found meth and cash there. So, yeah. That happens."). Like, the stories were so weird and bizarre in their utter inanity that I was seriously wondering if the guest wasn't a put-on. There was no real cohesive theme (it was branded as drug legalization), just this rambling stream of consciousness.


Even George seemed bored. There were these occasional, long moments of silence after the guest would answer a question and then it would be "Can you smell drugs if there are drugs in a house?" or "Do people grow drugs underground?" or "Is it harder to grow cocaine than marijuana?" (grow cocaine?). It was like that scene in that one episode of The Office where Michael Scott is on the bad date with the ugly apartment manager and is asking like "So then, after you collect the rent check <sigh> ... you deposit it in the bank?" (I wish I could find that clip on YouTube)

[WOTR]

Anyone listening to tonight's adventure in Nooronity? The guest joked that his wife thinks he could pass for a 12-year old...

I realized that it has been awhile since I last heard simple George when I read your post.  I turned on the radio and listened for almost 15 minutes until George asked the guest something along the lines of "were you ever scared for your life" and the guest simply responded that he detailed several times in his book (presumably the book that George spent all day reading so that he would be prepared.)  After that George tells us how hard it is to write a book and I am done with him for yet another night...


Can the guy not just pay an intern minimum wage to read the material he is supposed to read and give him a brief run-down of the plot?  Perhaps pay the intern an extra dollar or two and have them type questions in real time so that you can ask them while you interview the guest live.  I mean, he could maintain his level of disinterest and remain a lazy SOB but still sound at least somewhat prepared.  All this for around $100 a day from some broadcasting student eager to put together a resume.


If Noory is going to tell us how hard it was for him to sign his name to a book that somebody else authored, perhaps he could show the slightest sliver of respect and have a "ghost reader" fill him in on some of the important details so that it is a little less insulting for authors to appear on his show and listeners to tune in?

[stevesh]

Can the guy not just pay an intern minimum wage to read the material he is supposed to read and give him a brief run-down of the plot? 

The scary thing is that Noory (or Premiere) may well do exactly that, and Simple George still isn't quick enough to read the stuff the intern put on his index cards during the actual 'interview'.

[Lovely Bones]

Can the guy not just pay an intern minimum wage to read the material he is supposed to read and give him a brief run-down of the plot? 

I can see it all now--Cliff Notes For Noory: The Series. 

It might actually be a good job for any retired Coastgabbers who want to bring in a few extra bucks. 

[fysisist]

George Noory wouldn't recognize the truth if it kicked him square in the ass.

From your lips to god's ear.

[sleeplessinca]

Once again I was half listening and thought I heard George go off the rails and distracted when he excitedly came back (you know the way he does) with the proclamation that empath and empathetic are the same thing.  Doesn't seem to realize difference of adjective and noun.  Not that it matters, but did anyone else catch that?  There is a definite difference in his demeanor when he gets truly engaged, like when he talks about Detroit or how many affiliates they have.  He had clearly been Googling it and not listening to the interview at all.  Did I mss something?

[Marc.Knight]

Who's the entrepreneur in the group?  I'd like to see:


1. "George Noory Suds" beer steins
2. T-slurs with his most famous non-sequiturs written on them
3. George Noory cue cards with incomprehensible doodles all over them
4. George Noory pens with no ink
5. George Noory base ball caps that are one size fits all, but are always one size too small
6. George Noory calculators with no "=" button
7. George Noory branded computers with no operating system and no way to load one
8. Official "George Noory Socks" made of genuine turmeric
9. George Noory branded hamburger paddies stamped with "Raised in Chernobyl".

[Lovely Bones]

Once again I was half listening and thought I heard George go off the rails and distracted when he excitedly came back (you know the way he does) with the proclamation that empath and empathetic are the same thing.  Doesn't seem to realize difference of adjective and noun.

He was actually struggling with two adjectives.  The guest apparently uses the adjective "empathic" in the URL to his website. 

Well, that just threw ol' Simple George.  "Don't toss around all these big words," he told the guest.  "What's that mean?"

Guest told him it was from the same root as "empathy." 

"Oh," said Georgie, googling his little fingers off.  "You mean like 'empathetic.'"

"Yeah," the guest reassured him, "like being able to understand how someone feels because you've experienced the same thing." 

I thought Georgie liked all these touchy/feely, new-agey subjects.  Hasn't he ever heard someone call himself an "empath"?

[PortlandDangler]

I was thinking to myself and I bet noory get's a SHITLOAD of "hater" calls during open lines that he has to dump. I get the whole thing about "THIS IS MY SHOW" attitude. Ok, ok fine it's your show and you do things differently. Being insulted in public is not a pleasant experience. Art also had haters, I am going to find some clips so I can compare the two of you. I'm sure you hate if anyone brings up Art's name when you are around.

[PB the Deplorable]

... "Oh," said Georgie, googling his little fingers off.  "You mean like 'empathetic.'"...

The guest, replaying the show in his mind the next day:
'No', the guest replied.  'Like in pathetic.  You're pathetic, George.  You really suck.'


George either wasn't really listening when he was watching Star Trek, or he's lying about that too - the show had plently of empaths on it.  How can he not recall that?  There was even an episode titled 'Empath' on the original series.  He never watched or read any sci-fi with empaths or telepaths?   Ever?  Or he didn't bother figuring out what that meant? 

This is basic stuff for most people listening to a paranormal radio show, how could the host be so completely unaware?  This is an extemely dumb person we are dealing with.  'Throw around big words'.   Star Trek Next Gen even had a main character that was an empath.  What guy watching didn't like Deanna Troi?

[PB the Deplorable]

...Can the guy not just pay an intern minimum wage to read the material he is supposed to read and give him a brief run-down of the plot?  Perhaps pay the intern an extra dollar or two and have them type questions in real time so that you can ask them while you interview the guest live.  I mean, he could maintain his level of disinterest and remain a lazy SOB but still sound at least somewhat prepared.  All this for around $100 a day from some broadcasting student eager to put together a resume...

This sounds like Tommy's job description.  I wonder what that guy does all day.

[analog kid]

The guest, replaying the show in his mind the next day:
'No', the guest replied.  'Like in pathetic.  You're pathetic, George.  You really suck.'


George either wasn't really listening when he was watching Star Trek, or he's lying about that too - the show had plently of empaths on it.  How can he not recall that?  There was even an episode titled 'Empath' on the original series.  He never watched or read any sci-fi with empaths or telepaths?   Ever?  Or he didn't bother figuring out what that meant? 

This is basic stuff for most people listening to a paranormal radio show, how could the host be so completely unaware?  This is an extemely dumb person we are dealing with.  'Throw around big words'.   Star Trek Next Gen even had a main character that was an empath.  What guy watching didn't like Deanna Troi?

He was probably being intentionally obtuse, because he presumes his audience is a bunch of dullards. Much like Gretchen Carlson.

[meanmug247]

Noory is a dimwit jackass.

[PB the Deplorable]

He was probably being intentionally obtuse, because he presumes his audience is a bunch of dullards. Much like Gretchen Carlson.

That's George.  Contempt for the listeners, the show, the topics, the guests, his staff.

[Morgus]

Another wasted first hour tonight with Noory.
He has some motivational speaker on - like an infomercial...