George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[BobGrau]

Eight. Hundred. Pages.

[stlcoastfan1985]

There are certain expressions and gestures that have worn out their welcome.  Hasn't it been a good ten years now since "That's gotta hurt..." or "That's gonna leave a mark..." were mildly clever?  I think Noory's pointing in that "You da man!" style was cool in fraternities back in about 1998....

For some reason images of Clint Eastwood in "Gran Torino" come to mind. I can so see Snoory as the hardass, crotchety old man saying "Get off my lawn!" 

[Falkie2013]

" I was a hucksterman. Along the parade route I did ride.
  With GIANT Tommy at my side.
  Many a young maid lost her lunch to my face.
  Many a picture our minds cannot erase.
  The pizza roll aliens tried to kill me in the Spring of 2005,
  but I am still alive.


  I was a nighthawk, I was born somewhere in the West.
  And on tv, I wasn't the best.
  I ran a program in St. Louis, it would blow.
  Then Premiere found me and you all really know.
  What I wound up doing to your favorite radio show.
  But I am shilling still.
  And I always will.


  I was a bumbler. Across the desert I did fly.
  Where Hollywood and I collide.
  A place called ELL LAY on the damned river.
  My broadcasts make people have uneasy livers.
  I bumble and fumble through broadcasts that suck.
  Gawd, I'm such a schmuck !
  I'm obsessed with the Twilight Zone.
  Bill Mumy complains that I won't leave him alone.
  But even when I don't say very much.
  I will always suck.


  I ride a Snooreship across the aether very wide.
  And somehow it reaches far and wide.
  I'll find a way to hawk product when I can,
  And please buy turmeric, it comes in a bag.
  Perhaps I may simply have a plan,
  I'm just a huckster man.
  On your spirit I'm a drain,
  As my idiocy rots your brain.
  But I will suck again, and again and again and again and again.


I went to look up the lyrics for this and there was an ad for Snoory's stupid show. The sob is everywhere.


With abject apologies to Johnny Cash and anyone who's ever sung or been on the radio.

[ItsOver]

I could probably count on one hand the sit-coms that I thought were truly funny.  Taxi was one of them.

If it hadn't been for these two guys, Taxi would have sucked.

[ItsOver]

Marilu Henner mentioned she met Noory at some recent live health event they were both guests at and conspired there to have her on c2c.
Its part of Noory's alternative health obsession and gave Noory a woman to flirt with live in the studio.
Noory told her she looked great (at age 60) and her voice in reply was flirtatious...

As soon as I read Marilu Henner was going to be on C2C, everything you've mentioned came to mind, Morgus.  Nooron The Creeper strikes again.

[stlcoastfan1985]

I went to look up the lyrics for this and there was an ad for Snoory's stupid show. The sob is everywhere.

I think those are cookies Falkie. They scan your sites visited and send you ads based on that. I've seen them too. It's annoying as hell! You make one curious visit to see what "Beyond Belief" is all about, and the next thing 'ya know they're following you wherever you go! It's the same with if you've gone to shop for stuff online or visited a sports team's site. The banner at the top of the page here for me always has ads for Cardinals tickets and promotional nights. I think that's also called target audience advertising.

[stlcoastfan1985]

As soon as I read Marilu Henner was going to be on C2C, everything you've mentioned came to mind, Morgus.  Nooron The Creeper strikes again.

LOL! Agreed! He does come off as being a dirty old man. After all, he's got the pornstache for it!

I'm also inclined to agree with you about "Taxi," although you gotta love DeVito too! What other man that short could be that tough?

[SnapT]

  I ride a Snooreship across the aether very wide.
  And somehow it reaches far and wide.
  I'll find a way to hawk product when I can,
  And please buy turmeric, it comes in a bag.
  Perhaps I may simply have a plan,
  I'm just a huckster man.
  On your spirit I'm a drain,
  As my idiocy rots your brain.
  But I will suck again, and again and again and again and again.

That would've been the perfect point to work in a reference to Dexter Monterrey, Noory's future incarnation.  Missed opportunity!

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Dexter Monterey for President 2216.  I certainly don't want it to be in my lifetime.

I forgot the name of his future incarnation when I made my account.

[SnapT]

Dexter Monterey for President 2216.  I certainly don't want it to be in my lifetime.

I forgot the name of his future incarnation when I made my account.

Dexter lives in the early 22nd century (hosting a holographic COAST TO COAST AM in the year 2111), so it is unlikely Dexter would be running for president more than a hundred years later.  But if he does, I hope one of the Richard C. Hoagland clones is his running mate!

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Dexter lives in the early 22nd century (hosting a holographic COAST TO COAST AM in the year 2111), so it is unlikely Dexter would be running for president more than a hundred years later.  But if he does, I hope one of the Richard C. Hoagland clones is his running mate!

Damn, I should have researched that better.

[Hugo Fitch]

Did he just say "the phantom nitchhiker"?

Jesus Christ, George.

[Gay]

Georgy Boy sees his ratings are plummeting, so he has decided to diversify by setting up a side business:

DRIVE-BY PROSTATE EXAMS

[popple]

Jorch never washes that finger.

[Morgus]

As soon as I read Marilu Henner was going to be on C2C, everything you've mentioned came to mind, Morgus.  Nooron The Creeper strikes again.

Nooron The Creeper - that ties into Noory's story about the flight attendant too... 

[Gay]

Nooron The Creeper - that ties into Noory's story about the flight attendant too... 

I'm surprised he doesn't try the act on LMH.  Maybe he did in the past but she filed a harassment complaint with Premier's HR department.

If he ever ran for office, I'd imagine Gloria Allred would have a field day representing the women with their Jorch horror stories

[RedMichael]

Tommy comes off as one creepy dude. Blowing kisses, his arm always around younger women in pictures with his lard pressed up against here side. She usually has a terrified or uncomfortable look in her eyes and he doesn't really smile as much as smirk or not smile at all.

[popple]

The guest just told a story about a guy following a woman in his car because he saw someone duck into her backseat ready to kill her. Jorch laughed with glee.

[Scully]

George just told a story (supposedly true) about a man going into a hardware store and sawing his arms (plural) off.

The guest paused and said, "How did he do that?"

George "With a chain saw.  He just used it to cut his arms off."

Sort of reminds me of the one-armed wallpaper hanger.  :

[Cloud43]

I don't know if you guys saw the other pictures but it just looks funny how they taped a printed piece of paper with his name on it.

[popple]

lol did he saw one arm off then lay the chainsaw down on a table and then drop his arm down on it while it was running??? doesn't it turn off if you aren't holding it???

[popple]

I don't know if you guys saw the other pictures but it just looks funny how they taped a printed piece of paper with his name on it.

[Immy]

The Definitive Compendium quietly celebrated its 5th birthday a few days ago. Five years of documenting Jorch's suckage. A tremendous feat, rivaled only by Jorch sucking for twice that length.

Congrats MV and everyone!

[stlcoastfan1985]

Georgy Boy sees his ratings are plummeting, so he has decided to diversify by setting up a side business:

DRIVE-BY PROSTATE EXAMS

OMG! Just plain disgusting! 

[stlcoastfan1985]

Nooron The Creeper - that ties into Noory's story about the flight attendant too... 

What's this...another Snoory story that I haven't heard anything about???

[stlcoastfan1985]

LOL! That's perfect Popple! 

[Lunger]

The only think lacking is a Grassy Knoll!

THE BLOWN KISS




THE LAZY WAVE

[ShayP]

The thin crowd of people seem disinterested to say the least.  This "parade" is quite embarrassing.  I wonder if there were horses in this parade.  It would please me to see the car's tire catch a pile of crap, spin it out, and have it spray over the windshield onto Tommy and George.  *sigh*...the things that amuse me.

[El Kragen]

George just told a story (supposedly true) about a man going into a hardware store and sawing his arms (plural) off.

The guest paused and said, "How did he do that?"

George "With a chain saw.  He just used it to cut his arms off."

Sort of reminds me of the one-armed wallpaper hanger.  :

As usual Mr "8 Hour show prep" gets it all wrong.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/04/11/horror-at-california-home-depot-as-man-cuts-own-arms-with-saws/?test=latestnews

[ACE of CLUBS]

Tomee's doing a 'nosepick - fling' to the lucky crowd.  The two of them sure have a creepy countenance ......