George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Robert]

It is like he is trying to re-created a variety show, or cheesy hotel lounge act, with him starring in all roles. I didn't watch the whole show. But the parts posted he celebrated his "return home," told a lame joke, and sang some songs, with interludes of personal anecdotes, touching his fans hands when, going out into the audience. There was fake smoke and spotlights involved. I didn't see what approach he took with the guests. But it was bizarre and hilarious, even if unintended. And a bit scary to think people paid so much to attend.

Thanks.  Hard to imagine why people would pay a lot for such a thing, when Noory isn't known for any of that stuff.

The first show I saw that tried to re-create a TV variety show as they came to be known was Don Francisco's Sabado Gigante.  (Of course the original variety shows were vaudeville.  It's just that a particular version of that came to be stereotypical on TV.)  I used to watch that one even though I didn't know Spanish.  As I saw it, I thought, this guy looks like he's trying to re-do old variety shows and related stuff such as Art Linkletter, but with modern production values.  Later when I heard him interviewed (in English), he said he was trying to do exactly that.

I suppose It's Gary Shandling's Show counts in part as a parody of the hybrid variety-talk shows that came about with a couch.  Currently someone who does a show like that whose running gag is self-deprecatory humor is Pat Byrne on his monthly live-audience-&-video version of Prove It All Night via WFMU from their Monty Hall.

But I take it from your description that Noory's show was nothing like that, just a completely un-self-conscious, "Look at me, I'm the guy you've heard on the radio, but doing other things."  Now, you take a truly multifaceted performer like Jean Shepherd whose meal ticket came to be radio -- he did great 1-man shows on stage.

[Robert]

The old sierra games were some of the best... Leisure Suit Larry , King's Quest , Police Quest, Heros Quest ( So you want to be a Hero ) Space Quest series...

I never did finish Larry 3.  I was playing it on David Lindelof's computer (Scooter) pretty much alone after he lost interest in it, but when he died & I got Scooter, I don't think I took that CD, and IIRC the game required authentication from it with every play.  But since then I've been playing his son Damon's game, Lost.  At least it was a game as he made it for me, the rest of the world just thought it was a TV show that didn't make much sense.  Still hard for me to believe he won't some day reveal its hidden plot to the world, or at least get the point across that there's something big everyone missed.

[ItsOver]

How did noorie meet Toomy?

"When Dave Met Tommy."  Yes, I can see it now.  No wonder Dave choked on a pizza roll.

[expat]

Better-late-than-never comment on LMH's rubbish last Thurs:

https://dorkmission.blogspot.com/2016/07/their-ships-were-far-superior-to-ours.html

[WOTR]

It is like he is trying to re-created a variety show, or cheesy hotel lounge act, with him starring in all roles. I didn't watch the whole show. But the parts posted he celebrated his "return home," told a lame joke, and sang some songs, with interludes of personal anecdotes, touching his fans hands when, going out into the audience. There was fake smoke and spotlights involved. I didn't see what approach he took with the guests. But it was bizarre and hilarious, even if unintended. And a bit scary to think people paid so much to attend.

To sum it up... Never before have so many paid so much for so little.

[NoMoreNoory]

'I hope your Independence Day has been good the last couple of days.'

[zeebo]

'I hope your Independence Day has been good the last couple of days.'

lol ... and did I just hear George try to say "blockbluster" but said "ballbuster"?

[MTB]

Yes, he said Jerry Corsi's book would be a ballbuster. Read it with a cup on, I guess.

[zeebo]

Yes, he said Jerry Corsi's book would be a ballbuster. Read it with a cup on, I guess.

Haha, thanks for confirmation.  I think they tried some 'quid pro quo' compliments on each other's books.  Corsi said "Night Talk" was great and should be a movie or such, so George tried to return the compliment.  Probably won't make the dust jacket.

[NoMoreNoory]

lol ... and did I just hear George try to say "blockbluster" but said "ballbuster"?

Holy Fuck!!!!! He absolutely did!! Difficulty breathing!!!!

[NoMoreNoory]

And then follows it up talking about a video of a man 'in a demonic possession', withering about on the floor', 'with a demonic look on his eye'

He's been shifting some red wine this evening!

[MTB]

He's definitely been tossing it back. That could actually be entertaining if he was more engaged with the show and not so weird. He might ask about that hot Nephilm on human action.

[Juan Cena]

How did noorie meet Toomy?

The worked together one spring on a sheep ranch in Montana.

[Juan Cena]

This last caller is taking brow-nosing to a whole new level.

[Juan Cena]

Van Morrison is digging his own grave just to get buried and spun in it.

[akwilly]

This last caller is taking brow-nosing to a whole new level.

just got in. Are you going to call in tonight Juan?

[zeebo]

Guest is gushing about how psychic Noory is becoming. 

[zeebo]

George asks his old standby "Will we ever get the answers blah blah."  Sure, bro, sure we will, and you'll be the first to know.   :

[Camazotz Automat]

Guest is gushing about how psychic Noory is becoming.

I am thinking of a card, George.  Sending a crystal clear image via my third eye to yours.  You see the card forming in your occult mind... it arrives to you easily... that's it... that's it.

You see it now.  You can see it!

It's the King of Jackasses.

[PaulAtreides]

Yes, he said Jerry Corsi's book would be a ballbuster. Read it with a cup on, I guess.

That's right up there with "Have you ever been butt fucked by a Martian?"

[ItsOver]

George asks his old standby "Will we ever get the answers blah blah."  Sure, bro, sure we will, and you'll be the first to know.   :

I'm surprised Snoorge hasn't tried marketing his own board game.  "Yeeewww Too Can Host C2CAM!"  Fifty 3x5 cards, which are chosen at random.  If you can answer the question without laughing, choking, or rolling your eyes, you get to advance one space.  The winner gets to not listen to Dave Noorie for a week.

[Kidnostad3]

The following is a list of documented George Noory quotes. Known as "Nooryisms"... these non sequitur quips and half-witted, meandering ramblings serve only to exacerbate my feelings of disappointment over what has happened since Noory took over Coast to Coast AM. If you happen to know of others and you can document when they occurred, please post them in a reply to this topic.


"Could it be a portal?"

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"I don't think there's any doubt."

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"Let me tell you even I have learned some things here I didn't know about."
From Jul 19 2007. Following a round table discussion on trans-humanism.

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"How 'bout a dramatic topic... trans-humanism... you know, when you just think of the word trans-humanism, you dudint think that it's that exciting but it really is!"
From July 19 2007. He really did say dudn't.

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"If we all had our own solar system, we wouldn't have to worry about that."
From July 19, 2007. During a discussion on solar energy.

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"Did you hear today they just found Saturn's 60th moon? I will give you one million dollars of the network's money, James, if you, in the next two minutes, can name all sixty."
From July 19, 2007.

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George Noory: "Dr. Leir's website is www.alienscalpel.com. Ooh, that's scary sounding. Alien scalpel."

Dr. Roger Leir: "Well, you know me George, I don't try to scare people."

George Noory: "Yeah, with those fang teeth of yours?"
July 6, 2007.

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"If you raised a baby and beat it and kicked it and yelled at it, it would turn out to be a mean baby?"
July 19, 2007.

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"Jim, humanity has always been looking for ways to improve on our suffering and improve on disease, aging and involuntary death..."
July 19, 2007.

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"You know, Ray, everytime I think of things in the future, I think of the Jetsons."
July 19, 2007.

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"Well before too long we'll all be cyborgs won't we?"
July 19, 2007.

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"I would guess your mind is part of who you are."
July 19, 2007.

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"If you had a chance to go back to Skull and Bones right now, as a little fly on the ointment, so to speak, what would you be looking for?"

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"Gosh!"

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I've been fascinated by this my entire life.

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Al-ja-reeza.

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"Things are never as they seem.

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I should write a book. I've always wanted to write a book. I should write a book about kids who see dead people.

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"Wouldn't it be amazing if one day they discover a buried UFO and flipped a switch and on it goes?" (Another non-sequitur.)

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I don't believe in coincidences.

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There are no coincidences.

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Coincidences don't exist.

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Have I ever mentioned that I don't believe in coincidences?

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OK, Canadian. Don't knock our administration.

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I really do believe 2012 is coming. What do you think about that?

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"Well, the group mind experiments I've done on the show have been rather tentative because I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

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George: "It would be great if Saddam just left Iraq, don't you think?"

Hal: "Yes, but he's not going to do that. Like last time, he's going to put his citizens in harm's way, use them as human shields, and wreak destruction on the oil fields."

George: "That's kind of selfish, isn't it?"

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"Yeah, March 3rd is a full moon. When our boys go in that'd be the best time, because they'll really need the light to see." (On the Iraq invasion.)

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"I truly believe there are other solar systems out there. I really do."

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That'll make you want to think.

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"Just let it go. Don't worry about it. If you screw up, no one will ever know." (George talking to his board operator during a break when his mic was accidentally left open.)

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A story is worth a thousand words.

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Richard C. Hoagland: So he used the Star Wars theme the night before the God damn war started! Can I say that on here?

George Noory: No.

Richard C. Hoagland: Oh. OK.

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"That's got to be the worst luck I've ever heard of... in a very long time."

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I was jumping over chairs and knocking them over with my back feet."

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"Yeah. Pretty scary. But has anyone considered the people that live underground? (Referring to the Sounds From Hell clip.)

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"Lex has done it again. I don't know how Lex does it." (Referring to listener-submitted photos on the website.)

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"Oh, yeah."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Sure.
That's right.
Uh huh.
Gee.
Ha ha. That?s true.
Yeah.
I was just going to say...
Sure, yeah.
Gosh, he comes up with some great stuff.
(Noory's interactions with Michio Kaku in April of 2003.)

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"He's dedicated to finding the 'Theory of Almost Everything.'"
(Referring to Michio Kaku.)

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"Did he have.....Lamb Legs?"
(Referring to a half-man, half-animal thing a caller said was chasing her.)

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"You know, you sound exactly like Don Johnson."
(Immediately following a lengthy monologue by guest Zeph Daniel.)

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Are they called sand scripts because they were written on tablets of sand?
(To Michael Cremo, referring to the Sanskrit language.)

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Chucacabra.

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"Do you think asteroids have a brain and know which side of the planet to crash into?"

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"You'll know how advanced they are by the amount of graffiti in the tunnels.
(Referring to Mars.)

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Wagering war...

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"I've got to ask you something, and this is going to be a very profound question. I want you to think for a moment, if you haven't already, and... oh, I guess you probably already have...

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Can you add hydrogen to, say, gasoline... or does that defeat the purpose?"

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"I want to go back to the dark ages and find out what the reason was. I think it was an asteroid or a meteor."

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"Elderly Thomas Edison was elderly."
March 28, 2007.

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"Bigfoot may well be an extraterrestrial, because... remember Chewbacca?"

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"We're not talking about dead people. We're talking about the aliens... of their ghosts!"

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"Well, with prophecy you got to see what happens."

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"You do something annual every year, don't you?"

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"What I do is create an aura of mystery."

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"Sometimes I wish the aliens would abduct me and crown me as their leader."

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"Who or what was the Great Pyramid?"

[Astrid Galactic]

^^^ The dumbing down of Coast To Coast ^^^

[Kidnostad3]

quote author=Kidnostad3 link=topic=3.msg853063#msg853063 date=1467648524]

[/quote]. During the first hour of the July 3rd show (circa time 9:04) George voiced the opinion that Jerome Corsi's new book on the Clinton's was going to be a real "ballbuster."  While that indeed might be accurate given Corsi's previous writings and public statements regarding "Billary" I think George was groping for the word "Blockbuster."  Then again George, bless his heart, might not know the difference.

[Robert]

I'm surprised Snoorge hasn't tried marketing his own board game.  "Yeeewww Too Can Host C2CAM!"  Fifty 3x5 cards, which are chosen at random.

And replaced in the deck after every draw.

[PB the Deplorable]

I'm surprised Snoorge hasn't tried marketing his own board game.  "Yeeewww Too Can Host C2CAM!"  Fifty 3x5 cards, which are chosen at random.  If you can answer the question without laughing, choking, or rolling your eyes, you get to advance one space.  The winner gets to not listen to Dave Noorie for a week.

At the corner square cafeteria, roll 1-11 for a turkee sammach, boxcars gets you a plate of microwaved pizza rolls

[PB the Deplorable]

At the annual competition in Vegas, you'll  be required to have a large obese man roll the dice and draw your card for yew

[ItsOver]

At the corner square cafeteria, roll 1-11 for a turkee sammach, boxcars gets you a plate of microwaved pizza rolls

I think were on to something here.  Roll snake eyes and you have to sing "Can't Help Falling," along with Jorch, courtesy of the complimentary "The Worst of Dave Noorie" CD provided with the game.

[zeebo]

I'm surprised Snoorge hasn't tried marketing his own board game.  "Yeeewww Too Can Host C2CAM!"  Fifty 3x5 cards, which are chosen at random.  If you can answer the question without laughing, choking, or rolling your eyes, you get to advance one space.  The winner gets to not listen to Dave Noorie for a week.

lol ... yeah the game comes with a set of earplugs for the winner, loser gets a random emerging artists cd

[WOTR]

lol ... yeah the game comes with a set of earplugs for the winner, loser gets a random emerging artists cd

Exactly how does the Guy from Pittsburghâ,,¢ fit into this game?