Art Bell

[SomeVelvetMorning]

Yowee. I just finally managed to get on this forum a couple of days ago, and boy am I glad I did. I've been reading for a while -- I especially loved the book review from the guy in Pittsburgh. Bill and I watched it on YouTube and we lol-ed. Butter pats all around.

Everything OVM [thanks for the earworm] says is true and accurate. And now I can fill in here, as needed. Glad to be here, I must say.

Please listen to the show live this Saturday if you can. I'm putting our 175 past shows up on my site, and it's going slowly. But steadily.

Great to have you on this site Ms. Birnes!    I am a big fan of your show and encourage everyone here to give it a listen as it is excellent.  I enjoy that first 30 minutes of each show where Bill & Nancy exchange banter on whatever comes to mind.  Kind of reminds me of the classic George Burns & Gracie Allen funny conversations from times gone by. 

If I remember correctly, in the last show, Nancy said that Bill Birns was indeed a relative of George Burns and that Jack Benny was Bill's godfather.  Anyway, welcome aboard and feel free to express yourself at anytime.  Thanks for conversing with us and best of luck with your new web site, network, and make-over of UFO magazine!

[nbirnes]

Don't know. Not a clue.

[onan]

Don't know. Not a clue.

That's my zipcode.

[ItsOver]

We weren't fired for the cookbook, but for the novel that was coming out after that.

A novel?  For Noory?  Can you tell us more?

[bateman]

A novel?  For Noory?  Can you tell us more?

George Noory Presents: The Mystery of the Missing Sandwich from the Radio Station Lunchroom

(I won't spoil the ending.)

[FallenSeraph]

We weren't fired for the cookbook, but for the novel that was coming out after that.

George is "writing" a novel?

[nbirnes]

There's not a lot I know. Exactly a year ago today my husband Bill got an email from George. They've been writing partners for 10 years, ever since Bill sold five Noory-Birnes books to Tor/Forge. We were working on the last three at the same time: cookbook, novel, and a nonfiction bio called TalkTown.

The email -- 12.12.12 at 12:+ seconds -- coincidence? Basically said that he, George, didn't grok the novel. The end. Bill was fired from TalkTown two weeks later.

[ItsOver]

George Noory Presents: The Mystery of the Missing Sandwich from the Radio Station Lunchroom

(I won't spoil the ending.)

  I'm still laughing over just the thought of Noory supposedly having a novel.  Nothing ill meant towards you, nbirnes. 

[FallenSeraph]

The email -- 12.12.12 at 12:+ seconds -- coincidence? Basically said that he, George, didn't grok the novel. The end. Bill was fired from TalkTown two weeks later.

As George would say, there are no coincidences.

Wow, firing someone on 12.12.12 at 12 â€" I wonder if he got that tactic from "Glynis Has Your Number"? 

[nbirnes]

  I'm still laughing over just the thought of Noory supposedly having a novel.  Nothing ill meant towards you, nbirnes.

Don't think I'm not sweating that. I'm thinking of using his exact words -- which were unbelievable -- as a selling blurb when I do get it finished. I'm calling it "The Fork" because obviously, I've had to fork the project.

[bateman]

Don't think I'm not sweating that. I'm thinking of using his exact words -- which were unbelievable -- as a selling blurb when I do get it finished. I'm calling it "The Fork" because obviously, I've had to fork the project.

They were beeyon bleef?

[nbirnes]

totes

[jazmunda]

As George would say, there are no coincidences.

Wow, firing someone on 12.12.12 at 12 â€" I wonder if he got that tactic from "Glynis Has Your Number"? 

I'm picturing Jorch at his 'puter in his tighty whities (stains and all - get that image out of your head) with his mouse pointer hovering over the send button counting down until 12:12:12 on the 12/12/12 to send the email and then letting out a bellowing BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Douche.

[Jocko Johnson]

Great to have you on this site Ms. Birnes!    I am a big fan of your show and encourage everyone here to give it a listen as it is excellent.  I enjoy that first 30 minutes of each show where Bill & Nancy exchange banter on whatever comes to mind.  Kind of reminds me of the classic George Burns & Gracie Allen funny conversations from times gone by. 

If I remember correctly, in the last show, Nancy said that Bill Birns was indeed a relative of George Burns and that Jack Benny was Bill's godfather.  Anyway, welcome aboard and feel free to express yourself at anytime.  Thanks for conversing with us and best of luck with your new web site, network, and make-over of UFO magazine!

Where can one find/watch this show?

[Jocko Johnson]

totes

Mrs. Birnes,
I am a little late to the party...are you saying that jorch fired or had your husband Bill fired!?  I am willing to bet the ranch that old dopey dave just put his name on those books, well all except maybe most of the cook book.

[Jocko Johnson]

Have not checked in for a while.  I see that Bill & Nancy Birns show "Future Theater" is now an addition to Dark Matter network.  I have listened to their weekly show for the past couple of years and really enjoy it.  Link to listen to podcast: http://www.futuretheater.com/archives/2013/1213/175future12713.html

They have lots of praise for Art & Keith in the early moments of the most recent episode.  Nancy commented that it was so exciting to finally get to work with the famous Keith Rowland that she had always heard of from the Art Bell show.   

They also share with us and Art a dislike of Dave Snoory and the shoddy treatment he displayed to them. 

Another example and proof, again that dave is a huge rotten scumbag. This guy couldn't write a grocery store food list by himself. Have a guy write your books and screw him after. Yeah fish face you gonna jump in here to defend the creep again? Agree with Bill Birnes or not, he has been around and has an evident passion for the subject (s). One that jorch could never have. It's his pattern of being a jizzsac and all around no good guy...just a user and abuser.
Like I've said before, where I come from they have streets named after this rat all over the place. .."one way." He doesn't carecwho or how he screws you either. He should be worried babout what his legacy and reputation is not if his grand daughter reads this site!  There is nothing below what this freep will do. The best part is how he just plays dumb and swears how he has/had no idea what's going on or what happened!  You could at least have an iota of respect if he'd come out and say...yeah I did it what you gonna do, come and get me...but no he is also a coward.
What say you scifi fish head...? You jerk off, aren't you supposed to jump right in here and defend your boss/brother -in-law, lover, boy friend or whatever he is to you? 

[Jocko Johnson]

Don't know. Not a clue.

Well if you don't want to say...just provide us with the facts mam...we will make the judgement based on the truth as you know it.

[nbirnes]

Well if you don't want to say...just provide us with the facts mam...we will make the judgement based on the truth as you know it.

Here's what I mean -- I have a bunch of facts: 12.12.12 12:xx -- get fired. A couple of weeks later Bill is fired from not only a book he hasn't written yet, but a partnership, too. How can you get fired from a partnership agreement? No explanation from the publishers, so I'm assuming -- and I know I shouldn't -- that George was the one pulling the plug. I was on Chapter 38 of a 42-chapter book and our editor had seen the first 13.

I'm not a lawyer, but Bill is and he's basically adapted a wait-and-see position.

As in wait and see who comes out with the novel about time travel with George's name on it. Maybe he had another writer he wanted instead. If so, that mystery will be solved. And meanwhile, Bill is promoting a couple of other books he's just published with Tor/Forge: Haunting of America and UFO Hunters. We've been in the book production business for 30 years now, and this is the strangest it's ever been. Oh, plus the cookbook. That one sort of sailed through, but they did take my name off it and removed the sentence from Bill's dedication saying that I wrote it.

Once I found this forum, however, I'm really glad my name's not on it.

[Juan]

So (ha) George failed to butter you up.

[nbirnes]

So (ha) George failed to butter you up.

Yup. Every cloud; silver lining.

[popple]

George Noory Presents: The Mystery of the Missing Sandwich from the Radio Station Lunchroom

(I won't spoil the ending.)

The squirrel dies under the bed 

[McPhallus]

Noory would make Shatner look like Proust.

  I'm still laughing over just the thought of Noory supposedly having a novel.  Nothing ill meant towards you, nbirnes.

[ziznak]

Noory would make Shatner look like Proust.

hey mr penis,... and i may be speaking alone... but im glad yer still here bro.... yer def an oldschooler and i was afraid we had lost you there for abit... but it seems your resolve is much stronger than the haters have predicted.... if coastgab had a real man of genius skit... for like a real man of talking shit about noory and his suckage... you'd be like... my first nominee

[guildnavigator]

hey mr penis,... and i may be speaking alone... but im glad yer still here bro.... yer def an oldschooler and i was afraid we had lost you there for abit... but it seems your resolve is much stronger than the haters have predicted.... if coastgab had a real man of genius skit... for like a real man of talking shit about noory and his suckage... you'd be like... my first nominee

I like mcphallus too.

It's been bugging me for a while now, mcphallus, what was your avatar a few years ago? Before u mad bro, it was a dude, who I am assuming was yourself, before that what was it? What the fuck is wrong with me, I can't remember. I know I asked you something similar before. What was your old avatar?

[DanTSX]

Yup. Every cloud; silver lining.

Did you see my review of the cookbook?

I got a pre production version somewhere in coastal CT.  No idea how.  Your name was on it.  I sent it to a forum member in WA state.

Those recipes were terrible.  One was making yoghurt out of yoghurt.  11 varieties of flavored butter?  We know Jorch likes turkey, but this number of turkey sandwich recipes was over the top.  No real recipes.  More like random aglamations with butter.

What's the deal?  George can't use a microwave. Are these his recipes?

[Spooky Matter]

Haha - I like Art, but maybe not that much. If we're gonna get all physical and stuff, my heart, my feet and my phone sex fantasies belong to John B. Wells.

[attachimg=1]

Oh yah!  and the fag makes me just want to suck his tongue right out of his throat. NOT!

[nbirnes]

Did you see my review of the cookbook?

I got a pre production version somewhere in coastal CT.  No idea how.  Your name was on it.  I sent it to a forum member in WA state.

Those recipes were terrible.  One was making yoghurt out of yoghurt.  11 varieties of flavored butter?  We know Jorch likes turkey, but this number of turkey sandwich recipes was over the top.  No real recipes.  More like random aglamations with butter.

What's the deal?  George can't use a microwave. Are these his recipes?

Hi Dan. Yes, I did see your review and I read it and squirmed. I explained elsewhere on the forum why the recipes that are in there are so odd. Husband Bill likes turkey a lot, and I actually made him throw out the remains today. Those were his recipes.

There's only so much you can do with turkey.

They never bothered to send us galleys or author's copies, so my name must have been removed between galleys and print. I wonder why? I would love to see a photocopy of that page. Do you think your friend still has the book?

My original book "Cheaper and Better," from 1986 I think, was exactly that.

[Jocko Johnson]

Here's what I mean -- I have a bunch of facts: 12.12.12 12:xx -- get fired. A couple of weeks later Bill is fired from not only a book he hasn't written yet, but a partnership, too. How can you get fired from a partnership agreement? No explanation from the publishers, so I'm assuming -- and I know I shouldn't -- that George was the one pulling the plug. I was on Chapter 38 of a 42-chapter book and our editor had seen the first 13.

I'm not a lawyer, but Bill is and he's basically adapted a wait-and-see position.

As in wait and see who comes out with the novel about time travel with George's name on it. Maybe he had another writer he wanted instead. If so, that mystery will be solved. And meanwhile, Bill is promoting a couple of other books he's just published with Tor/Forge: Haunting of America and UFO Hunters. We've been in the book production business for 30 years now, and this is the strangest it's ever been. Oh, plus the cookbook. That one sort of sailed through, but they did take my name off it and removed the sentence from Bill's dedication saying that I wrote it.

Once I found this forum, however, I'm really glad my name's not on it.

Well good luck to you both in your endeavours.  And always remember...jorch snoory sux!
I hope u can enlighten us as to the idiot that is dave. ..thx.

[Spooky Matter]

Hi Dan. Yes, I did see your review and I read it and squirmed. I explained elsewhere on the forum why the recipes that are in there are so odd. Husband Bill likes turkey a lot, and I actually made him throw out the remains today. Those were his recipes.

There's only so much you can do with turkey.

They never bothered to send us galleys or author's copies, so my name must have been removed between galleys and print. I wonder why? I would love to see a photocopy of that page. Do you think your friend still has the book?

My original book "Cheaper and Better," from 1986 I think, was exactly that.

Oh how I hate Snoory even on an Art Bell thread .

[Falkie2013]

Hi Dan. Yes, I did see your review and I read it and squirmed. I explained elsewhere on the forum why the recipes that are in there are so odd. Husband Bill likes turkey a lot, and I actually made him throw out the remains today. Those were his recipes.

There's only so much you can do with turkey.

They never bothered to send us galleys or author's copies, so my name must have been removed between galleys and print. I wonder why? I would love to see a photocopy of that page. Do you think your friend still has the book?

My original book "Cheaper and Better," from 1986 I think, was exactly that.

The next $noory cookbook.

1001 Turkey and Turmeric recipes.

1002, if you don't cook anything and just eat the book.

0, if you see $noorge's picture and lose your appetite forever.

+5 if you see Noory and think its Ron Jeremy and go out and buy a porn film.

+10 if you see Noory and burn the book while sprinkling it with holy water to exorcise the turmeric demon within.

+50 if you come up with a recipe combining Lisa, Tommy and Noory and give it to unsuspecting zombies and run like hell because they're going to be so pissed that the glop has not only NO nutritional value but is also totally devoid of brain matter.