George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Wild Card Guy]

I thought the DNA Lounge might have something and they did, right with their featured posters!

I do not think they are adverse to any and all publicity.

By jove, DangerousBlossom, you've done it! Lady Krystal Methina Skullz makes her first stage appearance in the Noory thread. Live...from the Pussy Palace!

[Wild Card Guy]

attached is the mp3, "Noory, the fucking douchebag."

Thanks for that. I missed hearing it. That was pretty pathetic. George's ingenious and side-splitting practical jokes are truly rectum derived. With Noory, the jokes hit the air like pancake batter hitting the frying pan.

Random Question: If one threw out the term "Mormon dogma" to George, what would be his immediate reply?
In the case of Noory, an immediate reply is the seven second delay.

[JohnnieB]

I think I discovered the source for George's nightly news content. Even though this stellar publication is now defunct, I'm sure there's a stack of these in the men's washroom at the C2C studio...sitting right beside the toilet.

[Jasmine]

I want a new career...I want to be a Coast to Coast on-air radio dance choreographer. I want to choreograph FABULOUS Bob Fosse type dance numbers to match the bumper tunes. The Coast to Coast Dancing Girls and Boys will shock and awe the listening audience.

Your troupe would no doubt have to wear tap shoes so the audience could hear the fab dance routines, no? 

I thought the DNA Lounge might have something and they did, right with their featured posters!

I do not think they are adverse to any and all publicity.[attachimg=1]

Bravo! There she is, in all her freaking skullduggery glory.


You know, in my opinion,  the only thing missing from any or all Noory shows/interviews is a laugh track.

[b_dubb]

i bought the hoaxtohoaxam.com domain a while back and am considering doing a 'parody' of coast with clips from the actual shows with me doing a really awful, over-the-top noory impersonation.  and of course i'd also play a RCH-like character who would bill himself as THE KING OF SCIENCE.  i'd do it but i'm kind of like .. employed and shit

[Jasmine]

I swear I can sense when this Dr. Seuss' Ass in the Hat is just sitting in his studio chair and staring off into space or "googling" around on the net, or conversing in Helen Keller sign language with Tommy through the studio glass window when a guest is speaking. Or, He probably just sits there while the guest is yapping, and stares at the wall.

You have inspired me. I want to mail this book to George. After all, I'm his number one fan...

[HorrorReporter]

i bought the hoaxtohoaxam.com domain a while back and am considering doing a 'parody' of coast with clips from the actual shows with me doing a really awful, over-the-top noory impersonation.  and of course i'd also play a RCH-like character who would bill himself as THE KING OF SCIENCE.  i'd do it but i'm kind of like .. employed and shit

I am sure all of us in here would be happy Hoax Insiders..

I'd contribute photos and fun posts..

[ziznak]

Whoa there she is!! and on a friggin W.A.S.P. poster... if ever there was a hair band to be forever tied to!!! god bless you Krystal... I really miss seeing the weekly world news on the crap-mag rack at my local deli.  Those were the days.  Remember batboy?? I think i have a pic of him somewhere

there's my lil buddy!!!! haha...
thanks for the mp3 there Hal I really must say Georges lil prank call seems like it was some sort of last minute unscripted "teehee aren't i clever" type of stunt and I hope somebody chewed his ass out over it... what a waste of time.

[Wild Card Guy]

Ah yes, Batboy. What devoted reader of the highbrow and discriminating Weekly World News could forget this endearing, high-spirited tyke? This little batshit goober pulled on the collective heart strings of America, and never let go.

The sad but funny thing is, I can actually envision Noory having a guest on, a "Batboy expert", who would regale the listening audience with his harrowing tales of Batboy sightings on the back roads of Mississippi and Georgia.

Noory: "Do you think Batboy is an extraterrestrial? Or perhaps a fallen angel? And how does he continue to evade state troopers?"

...albeit, "evade" is perhaps not in George's vocabulary.


George Noory's Detroit school days:

[McPhallus]

Post of the month.

Ah yes, Batboy. What devoted reader of the highbrow and discriminating Weekly World News could forget this endearing, high-spirited tyke? This little batshit goober pulled on the collective heart strings of America, and never let go.

The sad but funny thing is, I can actually envision Noory having a guest on, a "Batboy expert", who would regale the listening audience with his harrowing tales of Batboy sightings on the back roads of Mississippi and Georgia.

Noory: "Do you think Batboy is an extraterrestrial? Or perhaps a fallen angel? And how does he continue to evade state troopers?"

...albeit, "evade" is perhaps not in George's vocabulary.


George Noory's Detroit school days:

[ziznak]

Whose gonna tune in later?? I may actually listen live... This Pat Choinard guy seems fun... his name on the c2c site links to the "god and aliens" magazine site which looks kinda like the c2c site

[Morgus]

Noory is talking all about Twilight Zone on the air again tonight with that TZ expert guest back again for the umpteenth time.

[HAL 9000]

Noory is talking all about Twilight Zone on the air again tonight with that TZ expert guest back again for the umpteenth time.

For CG newer members, or the uninitiated, see here for complete details:

http://coastgab.com/index.php/topic,2778.msg50677.html#msg50677

[Darisi]

OMG!!!  This stupid conversation tonight sounds like two 13yo's who just stumbled on "Chariots of the Gods" for the 1st time.  Snoory can't seem to escape from his Jr. High level of journalism.  It's fucking insulting! 

[ziznak]

somehow this quacks spiel has evaded me... I was Noory free for a while but have recently relapsed... ah yes hobbits!!! I've been waiting for somebody to bring up that supposed hobbit fossil...

[coaster]

Noory is not paying attention to the guest and the guest is rambling. Just another night on coast to coast.  I bet  Noory will get rid of this guest sometime tonight using the old "problem with the phone line" trick.

[coaster]

Entertaining show tonight, and not because of the topic. The guest tonight sounded like he was hitting the bottle pretty hard.  Its been a three hour long foster brooks impression.

[Oversoul]

Entertaining show tonight, and not because of the topic. The guest tonight sounded like he was hitting the bottle pretty hard.  Its been a three hour long foster brooks impression.

The guest (Pat Chouinard) sounds like a hillbilly fired-up and flying high on kickapoo juice.  Spouting one canard after another.  Name dropping other pseudo or alternative archaeologist authors and researchers to beef up his own content and claims.  What a show: a moron host interviewing a fantasy spinning guest.

But I must admit that I get a kick everytime Chouinard steps on Noory and steamrollers him, at the times when Noory is about to interject himself with his petty asinine comments.   

[ziznak]

entertainment value was high at the cost of actual substance... yep

[Oversoul]

Noory is not paying attention to the guest and the guest is rambling. Just another night on coast to coast.  I bet  Noory will get rid of this guest sometime tonight using the old "problem with the phone line" trick.

Noory's probably high on Valium, while his hillbilly guest is high on kickapoo juice.  Stoopid host and guest.  More proof that the human race is HOPELESS.

[Darisi]

Snoory and his guest are trying to out " incredible " one another.

[Oversoul]

x                        x                        x

And yes, as many of us realize, Noory isn't even damn well listening to his guests a large percentage of the time.  I swear I can sense when this Dr. Seuss' Ass in the Hat is just sitting in his studio chair and staring off into space or "googling" around on the net, or conversing in Helen Keller sign language with Tommy through the studio glass window when a guest is speaking. Or, He probably just sits there while the guest is yapping, and stares at the wall.

Another thing that pisses me off to no end is Noory's unexplainable laughter during interviews - he chuckles or laughs at a guest's remark(s) - and the remark(s) were in no way funny at all. Someone could be speaking about cancer and chemotherapy, and George will actually laugh at the topic-related remark!

Noory's unexplainable laughter during interviews --  I figure that's Noory's SFX (sound effects) way of letting the audience know that he is alert and listening to the guest, even is he's actually not listening for whatever reason.   

[Oversoul]

Snoory and his guest are trying to out " incredible " one another.

If this were the planet Krypton, I'd send them both to the Phantom Zone for eternity.   

[gandalf50]

You know, in my opinion,  the only thing missing from any or all Noory shows/interviews is a laugh track.

It was painful to listen to without the laugh track. 

[Jasmine]

It was painful to listen to without the laugh track. 

...and without bong hits.   

By the way, I saw the face of Jesus in my mashed potatoes last night just as I poured gravy on him. Coasttocoastam.com is today deprived of receiving and posting the photo I wanted to take.

[Wild Card Guy]

...and without bong hits.   

Imagine if we ALL did some major bong hits, then learned the glorious news that George Noory was no longer host of Coast. Would our collective, drug-induced memory of that magical moment be this?



Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

By the way, I saw the face of Jesus in my mashed potatoes last night just as I poured gravy on him. Coasttocoastam.com is today deprived of receiving and posting the photo I wanted to take.

Why you insufferable Jesus killer. I'm calling the Mormon 1-800 hotline...Utah Morons are standing by.

I saw the late Ethel Merman in my wife's facial mask...while she was wearing it.  That killed my mood for the evening.

[Sardondi]

Entertaining show tonight, and not because of the topic. The guest tonight sounded like he was hitting the bottle pretty hard.  Its been a three hour long foster brooks impression.

The guest (Pat Chouinard) sounds like a hillbilly fired-up and flying high on kickapoo juice......

Heh. I just streamlinked to see if Chouinard was really sounding drunk, and I have to say he wasn't.

He sounded much more impaired, like he was huffing.

[WOTR]

... More proof that the human race is HOPELESS.

Sorry; which one exactly are you claiming belongs to the human race?

[Jasmine]

Imagine if we ALL did some major bong hits, then learned the glorious news that George Noory was no longer host of Coast. Would our collective, drug-induced memory of that magical moment be this?

Could I be one of the flying monkeys in this bingo-bongo scenario?

Noory: "Titor, I have a feeling we're not in Missouri anymore."

Why you insufferable Jesus killer. I'm calling the Mormon 1-800 hotline...Utah Morons are standing by.

...as is "ass in the hat" (coining your moniker) Mitt Romney, and the homophobic, hate-filled, organized religious, bible-thumpin' bigots down in North Carolina. Them folks would have loved me. Amen, brother.

I saw the late Ethel Merman in my wife's facial mask...while she was wearing it.  That killed my mood for the evening.

Oedipus sex?

[DebbyS]

If this were the planet Krypton, I'd send them both to the Phantom Zone for eternity.   

Instead, he got sent to Earth (which number Earth, who knows?) Is he Bizzaro Noory or Supervillain Noory? No doubt about what his powers are... One of his nefarious powers is that he can put me to back sleep when I occasionally awake between 11pm and 4am, turn on the radio to see if Fukushima SFP #4 has fallen yet, and find a weak station broadcasting him. If I'm lucky, I fall asleep during one of the many, many commercials first.