George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Major Ed Damien]

She must be a graduate from George's alma-mater.

No shit.

You mean they both attended the Doofus Institute of Tecknology?

Well, there truly are no coincidences.

[Major Ed Damien]

Dang, she's trying to out-Bible babble Katherine Albrecht.

Good luck with that, Ghost Lady.

[Major Ed Damien]

George asked the Ghost Lady his standard question: "What drives you . . . your passion?"

She replied that it was boredom because she lived in the "U.P."

Where's that?

Upper Pennsylvania?

[Nick el Ass]

LOL.  I can see it now.  The Abominable Dr. Feebs  with Noory as Feebs and Art Bell in the Joseph Cotten role.

Shit. If George had to do press he wouldn't be able to pronounce the name if his life depended on it.

Remember what happened to Robert Morley in Theater Of Blood?  Price should do the same to Noory.  I just had the ridiculous idea that Noory should star in a remake of Theater of Blood.  Theater of Suck, anyone? Or maybe Radio Ga-Ga.  He goes after all his critics.  Shit, Price is going to come after me for merely suggesting a remake with Noory. It will definitely be a clashik!

I can see George in a remake of House on Haunted Hill because he couldn't possibly screw that name up. "Hey Mr. Skeleton how are Yeeeeeeew. You look famished would you like a turkey sammich, or pizza rolls?"

[Major Ed Damien]

Sheesh, after tonight's two nut-cases, I could go for some electro-shock therapy -- just to wipe it all out of my hard drive.

Damn, I loaned out my jumper cables.

[nooryisawesome]

George asked the Ghost Lady his standard question: "What drives you . . . your passion?"

She replied that it was boredom because she lived in the "U.P."

Where's that?

Upper Pennsylvania?

Yeah. Michigan.

[Major Ed Damien]

Yeah. Michigan.

Ah, Upper Peninsula.

Thanks.

[Mizak]

Yeah. Michigan.

Whatsa wesome???

[b_dubb]

That'd be like asking Keith Richards, "What was your most zonked-out, cranked-up, booze-fueled day like?"

how the FUCK would i know that? i was nearly dead you dumb shite!

[ItsOver]

George asked the Ghost Lady his standard question: "What drives you . . . your passion?"

She replied that it was boredom because she lived in the "U.P."

Where's that?

Upper Pennsylvania?

Jorch probably thought she lived on a train.

[paladin1991]

Jorch probably thought she lived on a train.

Or maybe he hoped she pulled them?

[albrecht]

Katherine Albrecht, no relation, was sort of out there. "Teach your children to put nothing on your forehead," due to Satanic influences? What about on Ash Wednesday, Katherine?

Having said that I agree with her on the tracking and corporate/government surveillance and the frightening aspects of cashless society and "smart" everything tracking and data-mining you. To me if if one doesn't believe the Bible, or her interpetations of the "mark of the beast", doesn't mean one cannot treat John's Revelation as an allegory for the dangers of all powerful, all knowing police state and world government. Or looking at transhumanism and the various biological/physical experimentation and manipulation with a close eye and skepticism.
-GNS

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

did you hear the guest say scientifical?

I've noticed this with George.  He often has guests who like to use words like 'portal' or 'the planet' or other forms of George speak.  I'm not sure whether George gets his vocabulary from his guests or if he only invites guests back who make him feel smart.  My guess is mostly the former since George seems to attain all his wisdom from the people he interviews rather than from any personal reading, research, or investigation.  And given the kinds of questions he asks.. well, I guess garbage out, garbage in.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Katherine Albrecht, no relation, was sort of out there. "Teach your children to put nothing on your forehead," due to Satanic influences? What about on Ash Wednesday, Katherine?

Having said that I agree with her on the tracking and corporate/government surveillance and the frightening aspects of cashless society and "smart" everything tracking and data-mining you. To me if if one doesn't believe the Bible, or her interpetations of the "mark of the beast", doesn't mean one cannot treat John's Revelation as an allegory for the dangers of all powerful, all knowing police state and world government. Or looking at transhumanism and the various biological/physical experimentation and manipulation with a close eye and skepticism.
-GNS

I thought maybe that was where you got your profile name.

But out of that interview I did find the "Teach your children to put nothing on your forehead" the thing that sort of broke my camel back.  She seemed to be saying... don't let your children be zombies.  Don't let them just follow along and do whatever they're told.  We need to teach them to stand up for themselves and never allow anyone to touch their forehead or the back of their hand.  We need to teach them how to say no. And that's what I'm doing.  I'm telling all the children out there not to let anyone touch their foreheads or the backs of their hands.

Well, I don't remember her exact argument or if I'm just putting words to her mouth.  If my interpretation is correct, her statement is a complete contradiction.  She's teaching children to think for themselves, to avoid conditioning (as they were talking about), and then in the same thought conditioning them herself with something so specific as not to let someone touch their forehead?  She's complaining Disneyland is catching kids early to condition them but that is exactly what she is trying to do.  That's when I decided she was more than a well intentioned educator trying to save people's privacy and was playing dangerously close to the deep end.

[Major Ed Damien]

Katherine Albrecht really enjoyed spouting non-sourced statistics, didn't she?

She said: "Christianity is the most popular religion on Planet Earth with 2.2 billion followers."

How did she not have figures for other planets?

It seemed as if she may have been holding something back from us, and that doesn't make sense because she did seem spacey. 

I mean, she didn't just seem out of her mind; she seemed out of this world.  Katherine needs to get back to us with the numbers for all the other planets before I start believing she's part of a conspiracy to hide Christianity's true popularity from us.

[coaster]

Katherine Albrecht really enjoyed spouting non-sourced statistics, didn't she?

She said: "Christianity is the most popular religion on Planet Earth with 2.2 million followers."

Did she really say million? That is incredibly inaccurate.

[aldousburbank]

Katherine Albrecht really enjoyed spouting non-sourced statistics, didn't she?

She said: "Christianity is the most popular religion on Planet Earth with 2.2 million followers."

How did she not have figures for other planets?

It seemed as if she may have been holding something back from us, and that doesn't make sense because she did seem  spacey. 

I mean, she didn't just seem out of her mind; she seemed out of this world.  Katherine needs to get back to us with the numbers for all the other planets before I start believing she's part of a conspiracy to hide Christianity's true popularity from us.

I would not be able to listen to this smegma but from your post it sounds like the best George show and guest possible.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Did she really say million? That is incredibly inaccurate.

I wasn't listening to hear if she said million or billion, but her point was that Christianity is the most popular religion in the World and still widely observed so I would assume she meant billion.

[Major Ed Damien]

.That's when I decided she was more than a well intentioned educator trying to save people's privacy and was playing dangerously close to the deep end.

"Close to the deep end?"

She went under the deep end and tunneled her way back out the other side -- then started tunneling again like a crazed mole.

Think about what you're saying.

Katherine saw Satan in Mickey Mouse.

And I don't even want to know what she accusations she had for Minnie or Pluto.

Donald Duck seems to be safe because I always thought he was at least trying to speak in tongues.

Scrooge McDuck has as much dough as Pat Robertson, so he maybe he's OK in Katherine's Good Book.

Those whistling Seven Dwarves are always going underground with that "Hi Ho" shit.  It could be Hell, for all we know.

OK, Katherine.  You win.  I'm NOT going to Disneyland. 

Because I'm going to need that soul when I blast off soon like a bottle rocket attached to one of George's hamsters.  I'll be a human bottle rocket. 

I wonder if smoke will shoot out my pooper and leave a sinister-looking contrail. I sure wouldn't want to scare all the doomed folks left below.  Please don't worry, everyone.  It's just my ass-exhaust as I leave the earth for Heaven.  Damn, do I have to hear Katherine's voice up there again?  Maybe I'll just stay here. 

[VtaGeezer]

When I tuned in she was explaining how Jesus took Ol' Revelations John to Heaven and briefed him on the future.  I had to recheck the radio tuning 'cuz it sure sounded like a hardcore fundie evangelist broadcast.  Noory clearly wasn't happy, but was too weak to stop an assertive fundie from getting her salvation ticket punched.  Bell would have gone to a break and jerked her chain.  Never mind that her new anonymous email service will be a haven for all sorts of sinful activity.

[Major Ed Damien]

She said "2.2 billion."

My mistake.  Sorry, Katherine.  I wouldn't want to short you the multitudes.

[Major Ed Damien]

I would not be able to listen to this smegma but from your post it sounds like the best George show and guest possible.

Yep, it was one for the ages . . . er, Rock of Ages.

[Major Ed Damien]

When I tuned in she was explaining how Jesus took Ol' Revelations John to Heaven and briefed him on the future.  I had to recheck the radio tuning 'cuz it sure sounded like a hardcore fundie evangelist broadcast.  Noory clearly wasn't happy, but was too weak to stop an assertive fundie from getting her salvation ticket punched.  Bell would have gone to a break and jerked her chain.  Never mind that her new anonymous email service will be a haven for all sorts of sinful activity.

George kept trying to stick up for Disneyland and the convenience of electronic cash registers -- but he was very afraid.

Maybe he thought Katherine's voice might suddenly turn really deep with echoes and shit:  "I command you to shut up, unbeliever." 

He also didn't want to piss off all the fundies -- which is now a healthy (or is it "unhealthy"?) chunk of his audience.

[albrecht]

I wasn't listening to hear if she said million or billion, but her point was that Christianity is the most popular religion in the World and still widely observed so I would assume she meant billion.

She was accurate on that point. This was on the news recently. Christianity (including Roman Catholicism) is the most popular religion worldwide roughly 33.9%, followed by Islam (22.74%), Hindi (13.8%), Buddhism (6.77%.) and down the line. Of course stats like this could be misleading as there are many branches, sects, schisms, schools, etc in each of these religions (some of the "same religion" don't recognize others in "that religion" as being so. Then you also have the question of what the question means? Especially when surveyed (many places one could get in trouble answering truthfully or even just ridiculed.) Practicing? Attending church, mosque, temple, etc weekly/daily/ just for weddings or on Easter? Being an actual member? Confirmed? Baptized? Gone on Haj? And so on.
-GNS
But, on the basics, here, Katherine Albrecht was correct.
http://www.pewforum.org/2012/12/18/global-religious-landscape-exec/
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/xx.html

[Major Ed Damien]

Katherine Albrecht, no relation, was sort of out there. "Teach your children to put nothing on your forehead," due to Satanic influences? What about on Ash Wednesday, Katherine?

Having said that I agree with her on the tracking and corporate/government surveillance and the frightening aspects of cashless society and "smart" everything tracking and data-mining you. To me if if one doesn't believe the Bible, or her interpetations of the "mark of the beast", doesn't mean one cannot treat John's Revelation as an allegory for the dangers of all powerful, all knowing police state and world government. Or looking at transhumanism and the various biological/physical experimentation and manipulation with a close eye and skepticism.
-GNS

Katherine was "sort of out there"?

The woman implied that credit cards were an artifice of Satan.  Does "sort of out there" really cover it in your Good Book? 

How about "out of her mind, coo-coo clock kooky?" 

Why beat around the burning bush?  Katherine set her hair on fire last night on a national radio program with her loony paranoid claims about Mickey Mouse and children's foreheads. 

Her own head itself became a burning bush.  I could even hear it crackling when she wasn't emitting that off-putting little giggle. 

Aren't you being just a little "politically correct" here on her behalf?  Or is that phrase unavailable to those of us who can't help laughing at Katherine Albrecht's bad horror movie, at these Middle Eastern-like fundamentalist gibberings right here in our own country? 


"Having said that I agree with her on the tracking and corporate/government surveillance and the frightening aspects of cashless society and "smart" everything tracking and data-mining you."



Speaking of phrases, will you please join my crusade to eliminate "having said that" from the face of the earth, so we can all just go back to good ol,' plain ol' "however"? 

We KNOW you said that because it's right there above everything else. 

I think whoever started saying and writing "having said that," is actually the Beast.  That devilish son-of-a-bitch is likely the same one who always wants everybody to "give us the bottom line" on your "take" -- instead of just saying, "Give us your opinion."  What was wrong with those plain old-timey words?  I guess they weren't pompous-sounding enough.  It's beastly, I say.

See, I believe all this modern, unnecessary, extra yacking everybody's having to do is the Mark of Some Kind of Bad English Beast who wants to bore us to death before sending us all to Hell.


"To me if one doesn't believe the Bible, or her interpetations of the "mark of the beast", doesn't mean one cannot treat John's Revelation as an allegory for the dangers of all powerful, all knowing police state and world government."


That's true, but John's Revelation is obscure and fuck-babbly enough to suit ANYBODY'S purposes -- no matter who they are or what they espouse -- or what their mental condition is.

Charlie Manson, for example, used the same chapter of the New Testament to preach the advent of a race war in Los Angeles fomented to the tune of Beatles music of all things.   In fact, Charlie said, those locusts in the Book of Revelation were really "beetles," -- the Beatles, get it? -- and their armor really referred to the really loud electric guitars they played.   Really, really, really. Then he sent several of his brain-dead, mind-zombie followers to slaughter upwards to a dozen people.  Yow.

I enjoy your comments very much, but I just wanted to say that the sky's evidently the limit on wacky allegories like John's Revelation -- and I see I've gone on too long here with my cocktail.

I'm drinking tonight according to the book of another John -- the Book of Jack Daniel's.  My wife's coming home from a business trip, and I feel a revival is near.  Praise the Lord.

[pyewacket]

That's how this sort of thing gets started. 

]

[pyewacket]

Did you know....

]

[albrecht]

I enjoy your comments very much, but I just wanted to say that the sky's evidently the limit on wacky allegories like John's Revelation -- and I see I've gone on too long here with my cocktail.

I'm drinking tonight according to the book of another John -- the Book of Jack Daniel's.  My wife's coming home from a business trip, and I feel a revival is near.  Praise the Lord.

Speaking on conspiracy: if you are talking Jack Black and do like that type of sour-mash bourbon why just go with the marketing? Sure rockstars flaunt drinking it and they had good advertising everywhere but, at what price? Especially because Jack lowered their proof to 80? Did you happened to notice any change in the price you pay when they did that a few years ago? Why not it lowered their production costs and federal and state excise taxes! Remember the green label used to be 80 and black was 86? Now black is also 80...but no savings to you, the customer. If you like that style of bourbon buy Evan Williams- a very popular brand and tastes pretty much the same, less marketing, but still at 86 proof. And still cheap.

Therein endth my lesson, my son.

ps: if you drink a lot (I mean quantity and frequency) I would also heed Katherine's advice about using credit cards. Use cash and/or visit different stores. Our local DA got busted for drunk driving (of course kept her job) and they subpoenaed all her credit card records and showed her history of buying lots of vodka. This also has been done in divorce and child custody cases etc.
-GNS

[Major Ed Damien]

Speaking on conspiracy: if you are talking Jack Black and do like that type of sour-mash bourbon why just go with the marketing? Sure rockstars flaunt drinking it and they had good advertising everywhere but, at what price?
Therein endth my lesson, my son.

ps: if you drink a lot (I mean quantity and frequency) I would also heed Katherine's advice about using credit cards. Use cash and/or visit different stores. Our local DA got busted for drunk driving (of course kept her job) and they subpoenaed all her credit card records and showed her history of buying lots of vodka. This also has been done in divorce and child custody cases etc.
-GNS

Screw rock stars.  William Faulkner drank Jack Daniel's.  He either wrote 5,000 words or finished the bottle, whichever came first.  Frank Sinatra drank Jack Daniel's.  He was buried in his casket with a bottle of it in his paws.   He didn't care what they did to it.  I don't either.  It's still the nectar of God.  You shut up.

LOL

And I've already started heeding Katherine's advice.

I made a bonfire out of all the kids' Mickey Mouse ears.  I painted my forehead from a green can of Sherwin Williams I found in the garage.  That should keep Satan away from it.  Then I destroyed my credit cards, yanked out the smart meter and shot off some guns in the backyard next to the burning Mickey ears.

Now I'm sitting in the dark, drinking my Jack Daniel's, and I hear police sirens.

WTFWKD?

What the fuck would Katherine do?

[albrecht]

Screw rock stars.  William Faulkner drank Jack Daniel's.  He either wrote 5,000 words or finished the bottle, whichever came first.  Frank Sinatra drank Jack Daniel's.  He was buried in his casket with a bottle of it in his paws.   He didn't care what they did to it.  I don't either.  It's still the nectar of God.  You shut up.

LOL

And I've already started heeding Katherine's advice.

I made a bonfire out of all the kids' Mickey Mouse ears.  I painted my forehead from a green can of Sherwin Williams I found in the garage.  That should keep Satan away from it.  Then I destroyed my credit cards, yanked out the smart meter and shot off some guns in the backyard next to the burning Mickey ears.

Now I'm sitting in the dark, and I hear police sirens.

WTFWKD?

What the fuck would Katherine do?

You should NOT have painted your forehead. That is what screwed you. Did you not hear that from Katherine! Never paint your face, or even allow your children to paint their face, (there goes my Obama Halloween costume dang it.) You made a mistake there. Get ready for the FEMA camp! (Note: the sirens could be a good sign as usually THEY come in silently- depending on location- in black helicopter.)
-GNS