George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[The Professor]

[Noory] Would Optimus Prime be able to defeat Megatron, straight up?

[The Professor]

I'm waiting for the radical caller who thinks the Earth was made in 3 days!

[The Professor]

Guest: "It's dangerous to jump to conclusions."

Noory should tattoo that phrase on the palm of his hand. He graduated magna cum laude from the College of Magical-Thinking with a major in false links and a minor in faulty logic.

I thought he had a B.S. degree.

[The Professor]

[Caller] I really don't have much to say about anything, I'm just rambling.

What would Noory's calls be like if they were not screened? Would they just be squeeks and grunts? Wrong numbers? Telemarketers?


Now Noory apparently thinks that Scooby-doo was a shuttle Challenger pilot...no better way to Honor our dead heroes than by mispronouncing their names as you struggle to read them from Wikipedia...

[Supernormal]

Taking odds on whether the caller from Tennessee is a hoax.......

You call him a hoax. I call him an upcoming guest.

[The Professor]

<Tennessee caller>

You call him a hoax. I call him an upcoming guest.

I call him the next C2C Science Adviser.

[Mops]

George is trying to generate interest in space exploration among fans who can't find their hometown on a map.

[The Professor]

The caller just proclaimed this a fantastic show on the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. Uh...I didn't listen to the first hour, did something really great happen, because the time with the guest, Zimmerman, has been a predictable bust, without nary a mention of the event.

[Supernormal]

[Caller] I really don't have much to say about anything, I'm just rambling.

What would Noory's calls be like if they were not screened? Would they just be squeeks and grunts? Wrong numbers? Telemarketers?

You sometimes feel like they have to take what they can get. The cat rambling about Chris Angel (with background beeps) is a case in point.

[The Professor]

You sometimes feel like they have to take what they can get. The cat rambling about Chris Angel (with background beeps) is a case in point.

Yeah, how _does_ he do <beep> it?

I kept expecting it to do a

<beep> THIS CALL IS COMING FROM A COUNTY PRISON <beep>

[Caller] How can we figure out the universe when we can't even figure out Chris Angel?

I suppose I should thak god the caller is kept off the streets at night by listening to Noory...

[Mops]

The caller just proclaimed this a fantastic show on the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. Uh...I didn't listen to the first hour, did something really great happen, because the time with the guest, Zimmerman, has been a predictable bust, without nary a mention of the event.

George spent the first hour hitting himself in the head with a shoe to make himself more smarter.
   

[Supernormal]

I call him the next C2C Science Adviser.

LOL

George Voice: "Jeremy, have you considered investigative reporting? You remind me of Linda Moulton Howe."

[The Professor]

George spent the first hour hitting himself in the head with a shoe to make himself more smarter.

To be fair, I have literally (not joking) heard Noory say to a guest

[Noory] Have you seen Chris Angel? He's incredible! How does he do it!

so we should not be too hard on the caller....

[The Professor]

Well, I learned George Noory thinks there is water on the moon, so I guess I can go to bed a happy man.

Well, thats enough C2C for this year....

[Supernormal]

Yeah, how _does_ he do <beep> it?

I kept expecting it to do a

<beep> THIS CALL IS COMING FROM A COUNTY PRISON <beep>

[Caller] How can we figure out the universe when we can't even figure out Chris Angel?

I suppose I should thak god the caller is kept off the streets at night by listening to Noory...

It could have been worse. He could have mentioned Chris, *the* angel.

[Mops]

To be fair, I have literally (not joking) heard Noory say to a guest

[Noory] Have you seen Chris Angel? He's incredible! How does he do it!

so we should not be too hard on the caller....

Let me have that shoe.

[The Professor]

Do you think if we played the show backwards it would make more sense?

[Noory] The walrus was Tommy.

[Supernormal]

George spent the first hour hitting himself in the head with a shoe to make himself more smarter.

What a coincidence! The Professor did the same thing to his radio.

[The Professor]

Saw a preview for a new movie called "2012", where a cataclysm destroys the Earth...for Noory, this would be considered porn...

[The Professor]

What a coincidence! The Professor did the same thing to his radio.

I'm getting the shoe out again...

But hey,Mops & SuperN, great to hang with you guys again, lets do it more often...I'll be at Disney World next week, so I'll be thinking of Noory every time I see Goofy...

[The Professor]

Proof there is no god: Walter Cronkite is dead, and Noory has a contract extension...

...or is that proof Satan exists?

[Supernormal]

Do you think if we played the show backwards it would make more sense?

[Noory] The walrus was Tommy.

It's hard to say. Most of the callers sound backwards enough as it is, and they definitely don't make sense.

[Mops]

I would nominate tonight's show as one of the top 10 worst, but does a forfeit count? 

[Supernormal]

I'm getting the shoe out again...

But hey,Mops & SuperN, great to hang with you guys again, lets do it more often...I'll be at Disney World next week, so I'll be thinking of Noory every time I see Goofy...

It seems like old times. Tell Mabuse to come back with the old crew.

[The Professor]

I think I figured it out...doesn't Noory look just a bit like Sasha Baron Cohen?

Opening next summer: "Noory!", about an Egytian-American hack hosting a late night talk show in America

[Mops]

I'm getting the shoe out again...

But hey,Mops & SuperN, great to hang with you guys again, lets do it more often...I'll be at Disney World next week, so I'll be thinking of Noory every time I see Goofy...

Far out.  Have fun...............

[The Professor]

I would nominate tonight's show as one of the top 10 worst, but does a forfeit count?

I would definitely put in top 10 most offensive, in terms of defiling what should be an honored occasion. It deserves a "burned flag" award nomination....

[Mops]

I think I figured it out...doesn't Noory look just a bit like Sasha Baron Cohen?

Opening next summer: "Noory!", about an Egytian-American hack hosting a late night talk show in America

That makes incredibly good sense.  Good enough to spread the possibility elsewhere.

[The Professor]

It seems like old times. Tell Mabuse to come back with the old crew.

we need something like the Bat Signal we can shine into the night sky to alert them...some special "Nighthawk" signal....how about a rabbit shadow puppet?

[Mops]

I think I figured it out...doesn't Noory look just a bit like Sasha Baron Cohen?

Opening next summer: "Noory!", about an Egytian-American hack hosting a late night talk show in America

The rumor is out........

"There is a rumor that Sasha Cohen is secretly working on his next movie about a late night radio talk show host.  He has been filling in for talk show host George Noory ("Coast To Coast AM")  now and then but won't reveal which programs.  We'll have to wait until the movie comes out."