Have they locked Horns up yet, as part of the big Capitol break in roundup, or have they allowed him to run free to stir up things at the next target?
He and I are planning on cruising for 15-year-old... bottles of Scotch, and then consume Pixie Stix up our ass and stream it on YouTube.
For the fans.
Some of you will find this joke more funny than others. Still others are friends of Hunter Biden, who is totally not a problem at all for anyone to be concerned with, so many more important subjects to drive the point in on home for.
And, yes, of course I would look dashing up there in a kilt. However, I am constrained and restrained from participating in the full gamut of madness here, as I was already deployed and committed before some chowderhead fucked up the SARS-CoV2 deployment. So, I chose the option of just sitting here and shitposting incessantly. And do you know why?
Englebert Humperdinck knows why. Now, bring me the head of Diego Garcia, as I know someone who would like to have a few words for him. Hopefully this is too much trouble for any of you, as it is getting to the point where my running out of things to say that my body and soul can't cash.
btw, did anything happen today? Oh, right, yeah--I meant, something I'm allowed to tell
you people about. Let me know, hit me up, blah blah blah, look, can I just let the flamer handle everything from this point forward? I kinda wanna be able to just leave town, go off the grid, visit a decommissioned nuclear reactor, you know, #juststarthings
Not that there's a SHTF coming or anything. No, I just want to avoid (CLASSIFIED)'s children this weekend. Spider sense is tingling! (Maybe that's why some people hate them, because they warn... Me.)
Also, one last thing: do any of you know an ideal place to buy some 12 guage shotgun shells? I want like 3x12, from a place where a guy buying ammo in a kilt is going to be unlikely to freak out the most number of people possible. Not impossible, just mostly unlikely.
These are serious questions, people. You wouldn't believe the week I'm having. I asked someone if they wanted to know how long it has really been since I was tapped by a seventeen yo (this is code), and they totally blew me off: "That's just CIA disinfo." And I'm all... "uhm, yeah... and there was going to be a follow up question... but now, I'm cool if you just assume I crave attention and I'm not running a highly detailed and co-ordinated clandestine op."
No podcast today. Perhaps later. Let's just keep all of all y'all guessin' for a bit longer. Do you have any idea how much fun I'm having? Twenty-seven years I have been patiently staying alert, while being mostly bored out of my tits, and suddenly I just feel like now is the best time to get attention by destroying every single personal relationship I've ever had in the most public manner possible? Oh, yeah, that sounds totally like what the Unabomber would do, if he hadn't been a fuckin'
moron.
Love the thread title. Here you go, Chum. You know me, I'm always ready to pitch in for an important cause, like getting myself unbanned and respected again at EllGab. (Holy shit, that does sound insane, I better dial this down.)
Now that I have gotten this out of the way... I'm told that someone has been flirting with Grapefruit. Now, while I appreciate the concern and the creepy heads-up, the fact of the matter is that she needs to accomplish some important tasks, and the more she feels like she is in (CENSORED), the more likely she is to figure out The Key to Hidden Wisdom. So, don't cry for me, Argentina.
She's going through a difficult period of time, as I just made myself available for her sister to flirt with me. I don't think it's likely to happen, but "impossible" and "incredibly unlikely" are really separate events, and she's quite fragile these days, as she actually thinks it matters if Trump stays in office or not. Meanwhile, I am of course not going to flip from Grapefruit to Sister Fruit at all, ever.
So you go on and flirt, People. She knows what's at stake. And while it doesn't turn me on to watch, it does thrill me beyond words that I'm completely confident that she flirts all the fucking time with absolutely everyone when I am not around. Or not. Does it matter? She's a Scion of a noble family, and I am ghetto trash... and Raven tells me that I have lived longer in my position than any White Devil ever has, and apparently none of them had ever heard of Hungary before I came along. So, whatever, go nuts, quit trying to get a rise out of me.
She was sent here for training, you know. "This is Bellgab, and it is the most wretched hive of scum and villainy on the Internet." That was three years ago, and boy o boy--I wonder if her arms are ever going to get tired from having to wave at everyone. Probably not, she's of muscular stock. Anyway, we're good here.
Art would have loved her, especially if I let him think I wouldn't interfere with his schemes. But that's not how things happened. Instead, we got horns guy and some cute 14-year-chopperhead either getting actually murdered, or allowing herself to be the most exploited operator since that one girl, I don't remember her name, but she got all blowed up, and they made a big deal out of her, and she was just disgusted with the whole thing, because she did nothing but be bait.
I don't find it plausible that she knew she was going to be sacked, because she seemed completely unfazed while announcing that she hadn't slept in three days. O RLY. Captagon user: detected. Did she use needles? Oh, wait, air force, of course she was vaping it, because that's the safe way. Wait, what? She was awake for THREE DAYS? What was her Bellgab handle?
THREE DAYS. I wonder if she had time to get laid? Well, they locked everyone in their hotel rooms, so, yeah, probably. And then, she did... what? B&E and didn't bother to notice that she was being trafficked? Well, whatever, at least she didn't have to risk being scalped by Grapefruit, because I'll tell ya... I would have flirted with her pretty hard, if I had been there, and I certainly would not have let her be shot in the neck.
Who did that, by the way? And why? And he's in custody, right? And people are realizing that... oh, wait, never mind, haha, I forgot--I'm off duty. You people had your chance to be close to me, and thought I'd just never stop explaining everything.
Surprise! That girl was up for THREE DAYS. Is that what drug abuse looks like? Well, shit, you know what, maybe I've been going at this whole "science" thing all wrong. Also, what's the point of not having any fun if I'm just going to be shot by Capitol Police after somehow staying awake for three days and then somehow getting the idea that breaking and entering in the vanguard is a great idea for my hot-lookin' eyes, face, and... hey, did anyone get a look at her butt? Asking for a friend.
Maybe she deserved to die for spamming Reddit. I'll look into it. Do you have any idea how long I've been avoiding making this post? A long time. Hopefully Grapefruit won't read this one either for some reason. There are some things about the military I have been hoping to not have to explain to her, like what the fuck "Captagon" is.
btw, any of you got any theobromine? I'm asking for a friend. And I swear to God, if she comes out with, "what's Captagon?" we're heading straight to the recording studio.
Mark my words.
