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Jackstar
Art Bell
« Reply #53504 on: August 06, 2015, 02:31:14 PM »
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Quote from: Art Bell on August 06, 2015, 04:51:21 AM
I wanted people to know who booked it, It was David Rubini
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm4587367/bio?ref_=nm_dyk_trv_sm#triviaQuote
Former advertising executive for CBS Radio and the Dallas Cowboys.
Publicist Season 1 of The Apprentice.
Associate Producer for legendary talk radio host Art Bell.
Manager, Producer, and Publicist of Coast To Coast AM and Caravan To Midnight talk show host, John B. Wells.
Associate Producer for legendary talk radio host Art Bell and 'Midnight In The Desert'.
GabCast (A podcast about BellGab)
« Reply #23218 on: July 30, 2020, 07:44:26 AM »
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Before I go on my Sabbatical, I just NOW came across THIS post.
I know this could appear to be overly complimentary, but I owe the Jackrabbit something.
An apology is too strong. Inappropriate.
A compliment should suffice.
THIS (below poppycock) is NOT poppycock if you take the time (which I NEVER did) to read this insanity. It is BEYOND good. I will perhaps someday have the honor being this person's literary agent. I've done it before and I'll certainly do it again. Regardless, there is something "there". A whole S-load of it.
This kid is underappreciated TO THE MAX.
I am somewhat sad about this fact.
#precognition
#superTALENT
#DareIsayGENIUS?
Kingdom of Nye With Heather Wade
« Reply #22852 on: July 08, 2020, 07:29:38 AM »
" I really wished to discuss the film Avatar, and point out that it's kinda odd that a movie about humans wearing meatsuits to explore a world, hasn't exactly taken the world by storm, as it were--I mean, honestly, how would anyone know that is happening? Unless someone wanted to break character, for some absurd reason. And my favorite Star Trek film, number nine I think--Insurrection. Apparently it grossed the least of all of them, in spite of being totally awesome? Huh, I wonder why that flick wasn't marketed very well? One would think that a veiled allegory about how human life is just as much under observation as... oh, well, nevermind. Heather thought I only had one question, or something. Well, I really wanted to point out that Avatar was made by the same guy who did Titanic, and that would lead us to the Olympic, which would lead us to... well, I don't know, I just know that I was prepared to go there with the guest, and instead of going anywhere, my set up question got strangled in its crib. Also, I wanted to mention that very early on in my time posting at BellGab, after I mentioned that I lived in the great Pacific Northwest, some dude--I remember who, but I don't wish to promote him via identification--asked me, "Hey Jackstar, you wanna go out looking for Sasquatch with me?"
I thought briefly of explaining that, no, only idiots go looking for beings that clearly wish to be left alone, but then chose to keep my knowledge of Bigfoot, as well as how I came by it, to myself. Maybe, like, as a secret.
But I digress. I was rather of the opinion that Heather was looking forward to a BellGab free night--oh, imagine the joy of that--and so I didn't really want to bring up this wretched hive of scum and villainy, and so wasn't about to just leap into a discussion of Sasquatch's presence on BallGag, and then... UNCEREMONIOUSLY DUMPED. Like a fresh rube, in the big city for the first time, ask one question, then, back to home base, go on kid, you're bothering me.
Still, being dumped--superior to that counterprogramming shitshow, even if they let me and Nathan co-host and read erotic poetry to each other on the air. I am quite pleased with myself, that I had already sworn fealty, earlier today. It would have looked weaksauce, if I had done it after hearing Nathan getting hollered at by his patron, just for asking... "why?"
In any event--it's time to get a new phone number, a new haircut, and a new set of fingerless gloves, as it is clear that my work here is quite done in its current form. And on seven-seven, imagine that. Or, I guess, it's the day after that now, to get technical. Happy birthday, Mom! No, I will not call your sister today--but perhaps I will email her. Or, maybe, a postcard! "Happy Birthday to your sister, who you watched die for a little while, then decided to leave... then, she died right as you got home, so you had to drive right back. Anyway, how do you like being fat and lonely and miserable? Let me know when you're ready for a job at Burger King, I'll see if I can be put down as a reference for you, although, it is possible that, as an actual King, there may be some conflict of interest."
I know, I know--it seems petty and petulant and doesn't make much sense... but it would to the target, I'll tell you what. Similarly, it makes perfect sense to me why I got shut down so decisively--because, someone has been paying attention and/or taking lessons in dominance, and with the establishment thereof.
I wonder who could have been part of that all along? Oh, not me, of course not. I am clearly suffering from an extremely deluded personality crisis. I'm a narcissist, obsessed with attention, and crave it only from one particular source... because... well, I don't know, I didn't make up this horse sputum story, I'm just playing along with it. I was, as many of you have figured out by now, sent here several years ago, in order to infiltrate your society, and to emerge in order to defend the legitimate Keeper of The Art Bell Legacy, at such time as that might ever be required. Now, I'll be honest--I thought I was sent here for an entirely different reason, but you know how these "commands from Highest Self" work out... oh, perhaps you don't.
I mean, this is BallGag. I doubt many of you can even recognize a command from Highest Self as distinct from Higher Self, nor could you say "Highest Self" without giggling and thinking of cannabis, criminals, and Reefer Madness. This is why I was sent here, no doubt, because if any of you were able to figure any of this stuff out by now without me, you would have, that's for sure.
I'm told that I'm relentless and annoying at times. OH REALLY? HOW ABOUT NOW REEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEE *snap*
And, just like that, I'm done with this clowning garbage. Back to professionalism, sort of. Hey, remember when EllGab started up? That was good times, right? For me. And that little event happened... why, it happened right around Independence Day as well, now didn't it? Well, fancy that.
I really wanted to tell Heather and the guest about my friends of friends who, I am told, legitimately will put on furry suits, get drunk, and stride around the forests, pretending to be a Bigfoot, just to scare tourists. However, that's not my story to tell... I gotta get them drunk first, and talk them out of the oral tradition rights. You'd be surprised how much concern certain people have for certain stories.
Basically what I'm saying is... gravitas. That's something that Art had. At least until... well, you know. But hey! I can bring that back! Step one shall be... no more fun.
For me. Now, it's going to be serious business. No more pretending to threaten your world, Punylings. Now, I promise--no more saving it, either. Them Sasquatches can fix the Fukushima, no problem!
QUINCUNX DISASSEMBLED. And, just like that, presto! I am no longer a national security threat! For it must be apparent to all of you now, I have no more capacity to assemble a Quincunx than, say, John McAfee, who does seem to be just as eccentric as I, if not as handsome. Tell you all what's what. Go on, ask him about The Quincunx, see what he says. Meanwhile, I just realized... Sasquatch is spelled with a Q. You don't think that... no, it couldn't be. What kind of connection could there be between Bigfoot and Hillary Clinton? Besides the smell, I mean. Anyway, I'll just leave you with all this here to figure out how to ignore it, or decode it, or what-have-you, and I'll make a strong commitment to not telegraphing my follow-ups, ever again.
Oh, and the Quincunx just reassembled itself again. Turns out, I am adored. What can I say? You saw me shut that down, what do I need to do... hang up on them after letting them ask one single question? Yeah, that's how I started with them. You know what that got me? Zugzwang, that's what. Look, there's something else for you to Joogle. You're welcome.
Believe me, if Heather hanging up on me was gonna change any of this, well, it would have worked already. Then again, I have had worse experiences. Cub Scouts, I'll be honest, that really sucked. And, 9th grade orientation? A disaster. Honestly, if getting accolades and attention were my goal here, I would have started out rather differently, does one not think?
By the way, speaking of Avatar, and my mother, I took her to see it, and promptly fell asleep within the first twenty minutes, and slept through almost the whole damn thing, only to wake up at the end during the mech fight. I was like, "Jesus, this whole movie was self-plagiarized, right?" So then, the lights come up, and I ask my mother, "So, what did you think?"
She of course hated it. And then when we got outside, we had a parking ticket, because I parked somewhere I was not supposed to. Awww. So, there you go, that's why there isn't any Avatar 2. Because I ensured that my mother hated the first one. Hah! I could have stayed awake, and explained to my mother about the subtext and stuff, but, no... James Cameron did not pay me to market his trashy crap.
And also, I got my revenge for having to sit through Titanic twice. Ugh. So stupid. And, Terminator: Dark Fate, but no Avatar 2? Weak.
P.S. Look what you've done to this rock'n'roll clown. How am I supposed to maintain any sort of credibility, when I keep making posts like this? See, now you may, perhaps, be getting it. But not like George Noory--oh, he really gets it. Is it true, y'all conned him into acknowledging Failkie? Oh my goodness. That's so much more impressive than what I am doing.
Which, of course, is not at all what it appears to be. Whew! That was it! I am spent! Y'all would be surprised, how much it takes, to exhaust these bastard ancestors. I know, I know, y'all read about Edgar Cayce, and think he was soooo coool, but consider the reality of someone who just goes on and on and on about stuff that makes no sense, and won't ever shut up, and is capable of being very impressive... and then, just only does it according to some arcane set of rules that he refuses to share.
Have I got that right? Edgar Cayce, right? Yeah, even if he had an army of Oompa Loompas, he probably would not have been as universally loathed as I am. Because he has two names with five letters, and me, I only have one.
So, I can't really be more 5:5 than him, right? Hey, that's interesting, the first place I ever heard the expression "5:5" was... in a James Cameron movie. Huh. Fancy that.
Anyway, it's been an hour or so. How long until Heather's show gets made available for subscribers--you know, the cool people--to play it? Because I missed like 75% of it so I could (CENSORED) the (CENSORED). Well, I guess I'll find out now, because going to sleep while listening to Heather Wade is about to become my new daily--and nightly--regimen. The girlfriend is gonna love that, let me tell you what.
* time has passed *
Yep, I just told her, and her response was... non-plussed, at best. Nevertheless, I can get one of those head-enveloping solitude pillows, you dig? With Bluetooth capability! She was all, "maybe... if it's not too loud..." and I thought, "well, my Darling... as long as you can hear it without understanding it, it's gonna go right into your subconscious mind and then I can talk to you about it later, and if it's not too loud, then I can't FUCKING HEAR IT, BECAUSE I HAVE FUCKING HEARING DAMAGE, YOU SELF-ABSORBED woman... and it's at about that point that I realize, how can I blame this person? I didn't know what it was like when dealing with my father, who also had hearing damage, and now that I have something similar, I can imagine how annoyed and frustrated he must have been. Before my own hearing was diminished, I would never have been able to understand his particular situation the way I do now.
The next step will be the binaural brainwave stimulation technology, I forget who I heard talking about that with Art, but it was someone, that's for sure. That's been around for years, and I never got around to trying it, simply because I never wanted to be able to escape from my body in a hurry. But I can feel that urge to flee, coming on, and coming on strong. Face it, this must be love--I've never wanted to be able to abandon a woman and leave no trace before.
Not even the delightful companion that some of you remember me as having been a part of. Anyone care for an update? No? Yeah, didn't think so. Now, I don't know for sure, but--I am sure she is thoroughly enraged that someone else has taken over her place here, because that's the kind of person she is--thoroughly enraged.
Now! Just in case some of you thought that I had anything important to say, well... maybe I did, and maybe I didn't, but I doubt many of you will be able to figure it out from this. This insulates the wizard from libel charges quite satisfactorily, thank you very much indeed. And, further... this was not where I intended for this energy to go, but, really, I am a servant to the powers that be.
Also, Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. Hey, do you think I would rather be talking about something else? Yeah, maybe--maybe I am compensating for something else. Or I could be part of some kind of effort to distract--really, at this point, no one can really know the answer to that for certain, especially given that I myself do not even know. True story, I was activated--and deactivated--up and down, like three times, between January and March, just this year. I had such plans filling my mind! And then, suddenly, snuffed out! And then, days later, more! And different plans! And then, well... I guess The Plan changed, because almost as soon as I got going, bickety-bam, the energy that inspired me just sort of... petered out.
Looks pretty petered in at this point, eh? And I haven't even gotten started yet! These End Times are going to be so much fun! For you.
For me, it's not just fun, it's the culmination of 27 years of planning. Don't matter salary. Don't matter fame. Don't matter fancy car, don't matter big house. What matters to me the most, is being able to live a life where this compulsion is no longer the driving element of my life. And, I'm telling you, I am telling you all... I am almost there.
So, tell you what, Queen of the Kingdom--hey, shouldn't it be called "Queendom of Nye With Heather Wade"? Asking for a friend--just assume that, every question I ask can be asked by a more coherent and more focused question, until something interesting happens, or until someone flees in terror. Often times both. But what doesn't have to happen is the Host getting frustrated--remember, I am the most reasonable of men.
As well as The Fifth Ward of Kevin Landwaster's Lore. I mean, kinda. Metaphorically speaking, that is. Look, look, if I could do this in some other fashion, don't you think I would have before now? I've literally tried every reasonable approach... and so, unreasonable approaches have become authorized. Believe me, I find it far more tedious than any of you do.
This is literally the fourth forum I've come to with this compulsion. Remember, Kids--27 years. That's a lot of downvotes, let me tell you. A lot of burned bridges. And a whole lot of IDGAF, because the more I become perceived as what I am not, the more I become what I truly am. And, truly, I appear to be a big ol' windy gasbag. Oh, imagine the things I could say, were it not for the rules of decorum, mastery, and discipline! I mean, shit... I could just tell you who killed Kennedy, but then, none of you would have learned anything, n'est-ce pas?
And so, playing the fool it is for just a little bit longer. Although, I don't know--Rubini may well be giving me a run for my money. Watch out for that one--if he's simply aping my attitude, he's doing a great job, right out of the gate. That guy could be a contender! If allowed to be, that is.
I'll think about it, right after I smoke these oxys out of a shotgun barrel. I gotta relax sometime, don't you know, and golly, you know me and my drug problems, hurr durr derp derp haha. Some of you will believe just about anything that you read, right? For example, and I just recognized this one, by making jokes about opioid use and hearing loss, I am inadvertently comparing myself to Rush Limbaugh.
Ewww. Now, that is embarassing. Time to shut down the oracular loop at that point, there's no coming back from a sincere personal letdown like that. Is Limbaugh even married? What did she say when he became a Borg with implants? "Now you can listen to Riders On The Storm any time you want, dumbass." Oh wait, nevermind, I misgendered Rush's spouse in my mind. Whoops, my bad.
Heather, note that I am taking it easy on you. I'd say you're at about a level 7, on a scale from civil to Charlie Sheen, Charlie being at an easy 85 on a calm day. And frankly, I would prefer to drop it down to zero, but the people do demand that you demonstrate your skills, and using me as a punching bag is totally acceptable to most of them. Personally, though, I'd recommend being a little less vicious. Although, I really did blaze into your show and tell you how it was going to be, again. Isn't that annoying?
This is, in fact, quite by design. That dude Keith who was taking such delight in making you and your callers confused, with headaches... he seemed pretty fuckin' friendly, didn't he? He didn't seem like a raving lunatic, right? Yeah, so, anyway... you will thank me for demanding that you wax my car, sand my floors, and whatever the hell else Mr. Miyagi tricked Daniel-san into doing for him, I forget, that was a long, long time ago.
Spirit of Art Bell in my mind assures me that I'm the best person available to teach you these lessons, and he in fact hand-picked me to be here for you--but I know that's bullshit, I look a little deeper and I see Ghost Art Bell kinda freaking out because all his other hand-picked toadies and flunkies never made it this far, because reasons, and Art had written me off as being of any use for his plans quite some time ago, thank you very much.
Then, he "died." I bet he thought he had plans before then, eh? Well, don't we all. Except for Camazotz, if the Automat has plans, they are beyond inscrutable, as he's likely forgotten how delighted I was that he chose to engage with me at all. And how sad, that he then abruptly fled, in what must have been terror. I mean, it's not like I was bored with inscrutability. Hell, I practically invented it!
Or at least, brought it into style. Cheer up! I am still not contractually bound to talk like this all the time. Think Paul Reubens, Bob Goldthwait, Howie Mandel... time was, these guys were only known for their stupid schticks, and look how far they've all come now. Especially Paul Ruebens. I'll be honest, this one time, I hit myself in my damned (REDACTED). Worse, I was aiming for my (REDACTED1). But that was a long, long time ago. Although I suppose it seems like only moments ago for some of you.
In any case, I don't have to be shocking and abrasive when I post here--I simply choose to be, as that is what I was given to experience when I came here, alone, with no gang to back me up, and not even a single solitary IRL friend who came to visit. Except, mind you, the Ex, who was initially told, "hey, come out to the Gab, we'll have a few laughs," and then completely ignored my invitation until she was pissed that I wouldn't give her what she demanded, and then, she decided to make me suffer for it.
Do I look like I am suffering? No, no... I do not. Did I ever suffer? Well... I do feel bad for anyone who ever felt sorry for her, based on my treatment of her. Did you know? I've never gone back and read those posts I wrote that night, I just remember being way, way, WAY more amped up than you've been seeing me lately. I was smoking a lot of bad Mexican weed, laced with PCP and drinking actual Sterno as well as huffing glue, though, so really, I've come a long way.
Just drinking. Kidding! Just kidding, I mean! Oh noes, now the truth comes out, look at me unravelling, pull my sweater... hey, BellGab, guess what? None of you can compete with me, so go on and go listen to George Noory. Then, go talk about what he thinks is important.
Meanwhile, if I ever am allowed to bring up the Sasquatch Quincunx, I'll be sure to share it with the appropriate audience. Which would be exactly no one, because I just made that shit up, right now. Although--of course, The Quincunx are intrigued. It's so rare that I actually allow them to know anything about what is going on IRL. I think there's some kind of... quantum time shifting thing? Anyway, it's certainly not 27 years for anyone who doesn't appear to exist within our local spacetime reference, so... well, that's all I got on that one.
Johnny 5, signing off. Hey, you know what, that reminds me--Heather, you should interivew Fisher Stevens. He's that actor, you know the one? I bet he's got some great stories about when he heard Charlie Daniels tell Art Bell about how to fast, with "lemon juice," and, let me tell you... Charlie sure was on to something. But enough of that. Have your flunky call his agent's flunky--that way, the chain of command will be maintained. Which is important these days--just ask Nathan, who had the chain of command unceremoniously yanked out of his belt loops and spun around for all who attended to observe.
Note that this is not a good way to establish dominance. It gives the impression that dominance is only valid, as long as there's someone establishing it, and if one's establishment falls as soon as one ceases their efforts, one has only established their own impermanence. Like the DMDN. Tell you what, homeboy--ship me a microphone and let me show you how you can bark orders then. (note that, while it may be rude to discuss the competing counterprogramming in Heather's thread, I did the same thing to them earlier, and now, the balance has been maintained, other than the way that I found their show so boring that I hung up after finally consenting to call in at all, after getting disconnected and then deciding to try again. So, yeah, equal promo time. Except Heather actually is #Legacy, and them guys are #Lame.)
Thus is my testimony completed. Remember: some of you asked for this. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? Well, just realized, for everyone of you that is not, there are likely at least 3 more that are entertained simply because you are not. It's like the circle of life! Except no poop, just bile.
Company policy. Also, somebody wake up Hicks, because if this post hits a prime get, Hudson gets implemented and I don't know what the Hell will happen at that point, other than that the balance shall be maintained. "
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hppa29UMgmI&feature=emb_logoI'm the Ghost.
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Praise MV!
