Coronavirus 2020

[Dr. MD MD]

You're certainly one miserable cunt.  Maybe it would help if you backed off of the booze.

It’s just his dry British humor. They’re inbreds there.

[Dr. MD MD]

In this country the 'Southerners' are the Northerners. They're all bull-buggering troglodytes up there. No doubt you like to dress up as Colonel Sanders and say y'all far too many times in a hopeless attempt to conceal your grubby MoTown origins.

Gotcha.  So you just boil the sheep in a big cauldron for dinner but no actual sexual penetration occurs before hand.  Not much to be proud of but I guess you can take solace in that.  Amusing that you feel so superior to your countrymen in other regoins when the entire joint is so small.  My home state is bigger lanfd area wise than your entire Kingdom.     

For the record you can probably count on one hansd the number of times I have said y'all in my entire life.  Why would I try to conceal my origins.
In case you haven't heard, the Inland North vowel shift is the shit - biggest change to the English language vowels in a thousand years.  I'm on board with the future but I do feel bad you are left behind.   

Y’all are both acting like a couple of faggots. K, y’all come back now, hear?!

[Walks_At_Night]

You're certainly one miserable cunt.  Maybe it would help if you backed off of the booze.

So he likes his Bushmills.  It doesn't make him a bad person...............

[Walks_At_Night]

Y’all are both acting like a couple of faggots. K, y’all come back now, hear?!

It's what we do.................

[ItsOver]

So he likes his Bushmills.  It doesn't make him a bad person...............

Just a foul asshole. He must still be pining for his long, lost love.  The Pud of Yorkshire.

[ItsOver]

It’s just his dry British humor. They’re inbreds there.

Plus, they're still pouting about getting their ass handed to them by George and the boys.  They suck so badly, they can't even find any decent Brit boards to hang out at to diddle with each other.

[Walks_At_Night]

Plus, they're still pouting about getting their ass handed to them by George and the boys.  They suck so badly, they can't even find any decent Brit boards to hang out at to diddle with each other.

Here is the way that went down BTW:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqpJvey-7-s

[ItsOver]

Here is the way that went down BTW:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqpJvey-7-s

Heh, heh, heh.

[ItsOver]

Meanwhile, back in H-Town.

HOUSTON - Protesters from the last few weeks have started testing positive for Coronavirus COVID-19.

Roughly two weeks ago, Shamone Turner and her friends, joined a large demonstration for George Floyd. An estimated 60,000 people were in attendance, marching from Discovery Green to Houston’s City Hall.

RELATED: George Floyd's family joined 60,000 people in historic Houston march

“I actually got sick the day after the march,” said Turner. “I could not move out of the bed. I was in the bed just sighing.”

According to Turner, several of her friends with her at the march also tested positive for the Coronavirus. Turner says they were all wearing masks.

https://www.fox26houston.com/news/houston-protesters-starting-to-test-positive-for-covid-19

Someone should have told them Corona Chan wasn't exactly bothered by their Hello Kitty "masks."

[Jackstar]

Just a foul asshole. He must still be pining for his long, lost love.  The Pud of Yorkshire.

I'll be honest--I ought to have saved the coup de grace for this week. How radical would that have been? But I was trained to aim for the head, sorry.

Trained by faggots, obviously, but hey--training is training.

Y’all are both acting like a couple of faggots. K, y’all come back now, hear?!

They're trying to learn something. Shhhhh. Be vewwy vewwy subtle. They might figure out how to learn that one too.

[SredniVashtar]

It’s just his dry British humor.

That certainly couldn't be said about It's Over's diapers.

[SredniVashtar]

You're certainly one miserable cunt.  Maybe it would help if you backed off of the booze.

I may be drunk, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be a pointless, erectile dysfunctional sack of shit.

[SredniVashtar]

Just a foul asshole.

I know where you heard that. It was from your nurse while she was giving you your bed bath.

[Jackstar]

I'll play with you later, but first, there's perhaps eight or nine threads that I've been intentionally ignoring for the last two or three years that are of far greater importance to basically everyone than you are right now.

massive rolleyes


Okay, fine, you're right, I'm heartbroken you've been so left out of late. I'll give you... ten minutes, and then twenty more. Because the crowd demands it. And in case you have some hot intel on the SARS-CoV2 pandemic that's currently threatening our way of life as we know it--I mean, you are smart. You might just have something scintillating to share.

I mean, it could happen.

[Jackstar]

I'll give you... ten minutes, and then twenty more.

I'm not going to lie--I'm going to forget all about you long before 30 minutes have expired. However, I pledge to hold the offer open appropriately.

Am I not a merciful conqueror? Do you not see the wisdom in aligning yourself to my cause? Look, just swear fealty--to anything, at this point, lol--and we can just move right along.

I mean, it could happen.

[Tootsie]

all for a .0276 fatality rate.. agenda anyone?

[SredniVashtar]

  Amusing that you feel so superior to your countrymen in other regoins when the entire joint is so small.  My home state is bigger lanfd area wise than your entire Kingdom.     

Size isn't everything. I'd expect you, of all people, to understand that.

[Walks_At_Night]

Size isn't everything. I'd expect you, of all people, to understand that.

What I do understand is that you took a very small sample out of my post to make some lame penis joke that has been done a million and one times.   This is interesting.  Why would you do such a thing?   I think it is to try and obfuscate the real point of the post.  Which is that you are ashamed of your own archaic, outmoded, dying speech pattern. It may have worked on other boards but this bellgab.com where we are used to looking behind the curtain.   I looked and found insecurity.  No more riches of India, no more African resources, no more fortress Singapore.  An isolated and elderly Monarch and a bygone mode of speech.   I feel bad for you man.  I really do.  You could fix it if you wished - Gillian Anderson and Hugh Laurie are examples of that but will you have the courage to try?   I sincerely hope so.   

We are the future.  We are the new.  We are the biggest change in a thousand years. We are the Inland North.  Listen and learn R.P. boy.............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3noS_0IdrRo

[Walks_At_Night]

Norway infecting the People's Republic with deadly virus.   As Groyper would say you hate to see it.


China halts European salmon imports over suspected link to virus outbreak

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-salmon-norway/china-halts-european-salmon-imports-over-suspected-link-to-virus-outbreak-idUSKBN23M177

[ItsOver]

What I do understand is that you took a very small sample out of my post to make some lame penis joke that has been done a million and one times.   This is interesting.  Why would you do such a thing?   I think it is to try and obfuscate the real point of the post.  Which is that you are ashamed of your own archaic, outmoded, dying speech pattern. It may have worked on other boards but this bellgab.com where we are used to looking behind the curtain.   I looked and found insecurity.  No more riches of India, no more African resources, no more fortress Singapore.  An isolated and elderly Monarch and a bygone mode of speech.   I feel bad for you man.  I really do.  You could fix it if you wished - Gillian Anderson and Hugh Laurie are examples of that but will you have the courage to try?   I sincerely hope so.   

We are the future.  We are the new.  We are the biggest change in a thousand years. We are the Inland North.  Listen and learn R.P. boy.............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3noS_0IdrRo

Shredmyass is a boring ass.  Just put him on ignore and move on.

[ItsOver]

Norway infecting the People's Republic with deadly virus.   As Groyper would say you hate to see it.


China halts European salmon imports over suspected link to virus outbreak

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-salmon-norway/china-halts-european-salmon-imports-over-suspected-link-to-virus-outbreak-idUSKBN23M177

Those damn, trouble making Norwegians.  Next, they'll be trying to flood the market with Trolls, again.

[aldousburbank]

Amusing that you feel so superior to your countrymen in other regoins when the entire joint is so small.  My home state is bigger lanfd area wise than your entire Kingdom.     

Size isn't everything. I'd expect you, of all people, to understand that.

This is the high grade stuff we’re trying to mine here. You other people need to bring more pay dirt like this and leave the overburden in the tailings pile of your mind.

[SredniVashtar]

What I do understand is that you took a very small sample out of my post to make some lame penis joke that has been done a million and one times. 

I was referring to your obviously restricted stature. Like MD, you are compensating for your lack of height by making ineffectual jabs at your social superiors. I call the jury to witness that you - again, like your man crush MD - made it about penises.

[Jackstar]

What I do understand is that you took a very small sample out of my post to make some lame penis joke that has been done a million and one times.   This is interesting.  Why would you do such a thing?

(shameless self-deprecating humour follows below)

I think it is to try and obfuscate the real point of the post.  Which is that you are ashamed of your own archaic, outmoded, dying speech pattern. It may have worked on other boards but this bellgab.com where we are used to looking behind the curtain.   I looked and found insecurity.  No more riches of India, no more African resources, no more fortress Singapore.  An isolated and elderly Monarch and a bygone mode of speech.   I feel bad for you man.  I really do.  You could fix it if you wished - Gillian Anderson and Hugh Laurie are examples of that but will you have the courage to try?   I sincerely hope so.   

I'll be honest--while this simple and straight-forward calling to account does seem more authentic, the variability of the number of spaces after the period marks, the failure to use a proper hyphen (it is seriously not hard, what are you afraid of doing, breaking the sentence? haha), and the shameless namedropping coupled flagrantly with another rhetorical question--about the future, no less--marks it as a dead giveaway for compost.

"Just call him a cocksucker!" the crowd screams wildly, incessantly. But that's what crowds do. Pander to them at your own peril. Gillian Anderson? Dude, just how fucking old are you? Can you even still fap at all, Ancient One?

Ah, shit, my first post out of the gate in the "No Rhetorical Question" paradigm, and I've already blown it. Alas. Well, there's always the next post.

We are the future.  We are the new.  We are the biggest change in a thousand years. We are the Inland North.  Listen and learn R.P. boy.............
hxxps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3noS_0IdrRo

Your future is my history. You are the old, and your concept of big change comes from buying chewing gum with a g-spot. And you weren't even buying it to strengthen your jaw, you just wanted the taste of fruit.

A thousand years of progress, well, you can finally relax. Lots of places have a North, but not all of them are so backward as to think it means something Absolute. Tell you what, I'll take a look at your little video you've linked here. Perhaps I am wildly, widely mistaken.

*tepid, feeble viewing occurs*

Yeah, you're pretty old alright. Cheer up! You'll probably find out what I'm raving and ranting about here before I do. I hear it's a big deal, when I'm not busy putting my fingers in my ears to silence the deafening screeching of the voices. I'm hoping someone is making a little PowerPoint, complete with shadowpuppets both before and after. What with all the schools closed, there must be a lot of frustrated creative types just looking for PowerPoints to produce. Creating for a producer is all they've ever known! They've never known the taste of fruit that didn't come already wrapped in foil! They are ripe for my benediction.

Now, meanwhile, back to something important. Back to your little discussion of plague. Oh look, now everyone is wearing masks and no one has to ever brush their teeth again. Nice job, Overseers. I know I feel safer. Especially with all this fruity gum.

And these tonsils. I'll tell you what I'd like to know--do individuals with their tonsils removed, contract the SARS-CoV2 infection more readily? This one time, this ENT guy was all, "your tonsils are kinda large," and I was all, "yeah people have said that and have acted surprised that I haven't had them removed, but I figure, I kinda needed to have them," and this ENT guy was like, "No, you don't need them."

These days, my initial pause of surprise would be followed up with, "what do you mean by that?" and perhaps, "Do you think they're some kind of evolutionary dead-end?" or maybe even, "does that make me some kind of a filthy mutant?" But back then, I simply blinked and listened, which is frankly pretty good advice when dealing with someone obviously brainwashed or so numbed by whatever that they've just stopped thinking about the words they're using, they're just operating by rote. I didn't actually know at the time, but it turns out, when a surgeon knows he can get paid cash money to do something that he's already paid cash money to learn how to do, and to have the licence to do it, that surgeon isn't allowed to suggest the idea to any patients, except under specific and strict circumstances.

They're like fat kids drooling on a cupcake, they can't help themselves. All they gotta do, is get someone to consent, and, poof! Instant paycheck! Hell, some of them even get paid immediately and it keeps coming in like an IV drip forever. Or until the patient dies. Which is basically forever. There was this one guy, he was so excited to meet me, then I started asking pesky questions, and then he was like a disgusted homeroom teacher. "Jack, come on, your dog puked on your homework again?" (Actual yearbook quote.)

So, now, where was I? Oh, right, you're standing in for the erudite-effete multiclass fellow. Well, pass this all along, and I would certainly appreciate it? Damnit! I'm not supposed to ask you that question, or any questions--I should know the answer to that one, shouldn't I? FUCK. I am terrible at this. It must be all these antibiotics I've been feverishly squirting up my ass in order to defend against the dreaded 2nd Wave of The 'Rona.


Look, look, read, read--don't get mad at me. You people asked for this side of me. You people spent weeks, months even, talking about shit way, way stupider and more inane than anything I could ever come up with, with your bald faces hanging out, non-stop. And now? Well, this is the world your actions have wrought.

I'll be honest. I do rather like it. I don't think it'll last more than about four and a half months or so. Why contain it? Let it spill over into the streets and the churches. Let the underclass rise up, and... oh, wait, lol, who could have seen that coming? Why, I did, of course. Some of you will remember. Some of you don't even need to close your eyes to see it--you see it every time you see my name. These delights are of bewildering intoxication even if untrue, even if I were just, like, on an ego trip. However, I am not--I would have preferred not to find myself in this place. And yet, here we are.

[attachment=1]


Have your flunkies contact my flunkies at their leisure, while they still have any leisure. I don't even have any flunkies, so respecting your chain of command is really just sheer, generous indulgence on my part. Here, you can have Daedalus too--thoroughly obsolete and wildly outclassed by recent technological innovations that--yaaaaawn--I simply can't remember the details of right now. Getting kind of sleepy now, as a matter of fact.

I'm sure you'll pick up on things soon enough. Now, where were you? Oh, right--ignoring the plague in favor of poking great fun at Jackstar, who can't be bothered to remember that he's agreed to stop using rhetorical questions. Yep, that's me--RodeoWorld SuperClown Superintendent. Look, don't hate me because I filled the obvious power vacuum, instead, hate all of your peers, none of whom simply did first what I have been waiting for some six years for someone else to do for me.

Actually, I'm being informed that several others did, in fact, attempt something or other, and all were mercilessly slaughtered, and it's a matter of some debate in some circles why I'm still being allowed to draw breath. Huh. Well, I remoted viewed that information, so it must be true! Consider me humbled, but not very. More like... exalted. Twenty-two pages. Jesus weeping Christ. You know what? I think the day is gonna come when some of you will wish that the bioweapon really did end it all, and further yet, some of you will think that it did, and this place you find yourselves in now, is Hell. Actual, literal Hell.

I wouldn't allow that, of course, but I fully expect most people to realize that the Me in Hell would of course be an incorrigible liar. Anyway, back to the whole tonsils thing. Have any of you tried to send messages to your health care team, and ask them questions about COVID? Yeah, lol--I would guess not.

this bellgab.com where we are used to looking behind the curtain

The hubris implicit in this statement has left me in an actual state of befuddlement. Coronavirus, wow, let's discuss. Building 7, wow, that's crazy talk. Dude, you are the curtain!

Matching the carpet isn't everything. I would have expected absolutely no one to think that was funny, but who knows--it's been quite a day of learning for all of us, now hasn't it.

(I don't know if that one counts since I didn't put a question mark at the end, but--I'm gonna not fret over it, and note that even within a couple short hours, I have already begun to pose artfully complex philosophical questions to myself about the nature of questions that are rhetorical, and what defines them as such. I'll be getting that fourth doctorate in no time, canceled classes be damned.)


It's a friend's birthday, so I'll cut this short. Suffice to say, someone got a whole lot more than 30 minutes, because someone decided that five minutes was too many. I'm not going to have to do this again, now am I? FUCK MOTHERFUCKER FUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING FUCKER FUCK. I'm gonna need to get me one of them shock-collars or something. BRB.


And, one last thing, Troopers: remember to wash your hands.

[Jackstar]

This is the high grade stuff we’re trying to mine here.

Keyser Soze took it all. Don't bother with any flunkies--you may approach mine directly. Respect. I've already negotiated your capitulation with your Crow God--they were happy that I knew how to contact Mgt. without the customary hours of all that tedious pipe-sucking. Anyway, don't sweat it--you're in. You might have to explain things to some of your secret wimmins. Do I have that spelling right? Your crows, naturally, are horrible spellers. Maybe they meant something else? Sure, it's plausibly deniable. Besides, obviously I can't tell one crow from another--that's just crazy talk.

lol, it worked. "I'm not like the other crows!" Well, great, get back to work, we ran out of canaries quite a while back, actually. Thank you for your service.


I'm hearing through channels that I've actually said something offensive here. Well, shit. Oh, it's just another rhetorical question, probably. Oh, there's another one. Is that two, or three? Shits, this is getting out of hand. I guess I'm just wildly off-base here and can be safely ignored. Again. Still. Whatevah.

BTW, I would like you to know, as well as anyone else--that thing with the blankets was not my idea, I didn't have anything to do with it, that was an awful thing for anyone to do. Ever. Does it help that this time it was fixed by the nanotech? Well, no, not really--it's still awful.

Although, perhaps not as awful as my inability to refrain from asking rhetorical questions. You know what? I think maybe I've got a condition.

[SredniVashtar]

Shredmyass is a boring ass.  Just put him on ignore and move on.

Excellent banter there, Gramps.

[K_Dubb]

We are the future.  We are the new.  We are the biggest change in a thousand years. We are the Inland North.  Listen and learn R.P. boy.............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3noS_0IdrRo

Dough yo rilly tack lack thit, wax?

Seriously, I am delighted that this has received some attention.  I think they are right, that it started with the short-a sound, but insufficient attention has been paid to the influences from the Scandinavian languages that were the mother-tongues of many of the original settlers.  Though at first the vowel profiles would not seem to match, Scandinavians favoring deeper and longer vowels (a is the a of "father") and we even have double-a (written Ã¥, for a diphthong moving from long-o to long-a) the short a in American English has its closest approximate in the a-e ligature (Norwegian/Danish) or ä (Swedish) which, though not nearly as common a sound as in English, would have been the first resort of a speaker trying to emulate a native.

This would place the origin of the vowel shift somewhat further west but surely it can be no accident that the characteristic "Minnesoota" can be written "Minnesåta" without too much monkeying around, not to mention "Færgå" for "Fargo".

[SredniVashtar]

Dough yo rilly tack lack thit, wax?

Seriously, I am delighted that this has received some attention.  I think they are right, that it started with the short-a sound, but insufficient attention has been paid to the influences from the Scandinavian languages that were the mother-tongues of many of the original settlers.  Though at first the vowel profiles would not seem to match, Scandinavians favoring deeper and longer vowels (a is the a of "father") and we even have double-a (written Ã¥, for a diphthong moving from long-o to long-a) the short a in American English has its closest approximate in the a-e ligature (Norwegian/Danish) or ä (Swedish) which, though not nearly as common a sound as in English, would have been the first resort of a speaker trying to emulate a native.

This would place the origin of the vowel shift somewhat further west but surely it can be no accident that the characteristic "Minnesoota" can be written "Minnesåta" without too much monkeying around, not to mention "Færgå" for "Fargo".

Nobody cares. Walks is trying to rationalise sounding like a vulgar little toad. It isn't working! That's right, get together and rub each other's nuts and pretend how you're really at the forefront of some linguistic diaspora. Balls! You all sound like common navvies.

[K_Dubb]

Nobody cares. Walks is trying to rationalise sounding like a vulgar little toad. It isn't working! That's right, get together and rub each other's nuts and pretend how you're really at the forefront of some linguistic diaspora. Balls! You all sound like common navvies.

And you -- we've been through this before -- sound like an Englishman trying, and failing, to speak with a French accent and stumbling upon the uvular trill like so many others, for reasons of status, the implications of which can not be lost on you.  Sous-homme.

[SredniVashtar]

And you -- we've been through this before -- sound like an Englishman trying, and failing, to speak with a French accent and stumbling upon the uvular trill like so many others, for reasons of status, the implications of which can not be lost on you.  Sous-homme.

We owned most of France at one time. Those were the days! You're trying, in your nasty effeminate way, to bring me down by comparing me to a filthy Frenchie. You are a despicable swine. Or a cochon, if you prefer.