BellGab.com Archive

For the above song substitute every instance of the word "GOLD" with "BOLD," TIA.

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The Queen Mother's Death Forced A Big Change To BBC's Wardrobe Policy

Quote from: https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/the-queen-mothers-death-forced-a-big-change-to-bbcs-wardrobe-policy/ar-AA10LRtE

Following the death of Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother (above), on March 30, 2002, British newspapers were in a frenzy...

I thought the old bag celebrated her two-thousandth birthday this past April 21st?

According to the article above she's been dead for over twenty years?



Is this Mandelbrot Affect just in my corner of my particular universe, or is anyone else noticing this discontinuity as well?

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Quote from: JaxTard on August 17, 2022, 12:39:00 AMAre there any country songs about keeping toddlers from playing in traffic;
and, can they be played in reverse?

Quote from: JaxTard on August 17, 2022, 12:39:56 AMPLAY SOME SKYNARD MAN/GODZILLA

Quote from: JaxTard on August 17, 2022, 12:40:42 AMsee above, re: "SKYNARD"

Quote from: JaxTard on August 17, 2022, 12:41:26 AMFirst things first.

Quote from: JaxTard on August 17, 2022, 12:42:23 AMWish you were here.

In zero out of five attempts were you able to provide an actual song.

You have only contributed SPAM to this thread.

I think this one was written with you in mind, hear:


Can you share with the class what windows actually taste like?

Axing for a fiend, TIA!

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Quote from: Corona Kitty on July 24, 2022, 01:26:00 PMPerhaps "it", may be my purr-furred pronoun’.

Fake and gay.

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Quote from: JaxTard on August 16, 2022, 04:56:24 AM
31Topher
32Not_D
33Tamihemistar,Destroyer.of.Jackstar.D.O.A.)which sounds like a great name for a fag(OMMANDING


Okay, that -should- work. Let me know if I have another wedding invitation to expect or what. Also: cancel all of KT's grants. (Arch-Christian, Arch-Criminality, nnA-Cortney-Ann) I'd listen if I were you.

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Quote from: Roswells, Art on August 16, 2022, 09:45:54 AMI can't tell for sure but I get the feeling Jackstar is back. Well, whatever he's become is here, anyway, not the funny, witty, one-liner Jackstar.

He suffers from methamphetamine induced aphasia.

hashtagSAD

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Quote from: Juan on August 15, 2022, 03:25:33 PM@pate - what do you do about nutsedge (clearly a communist) in a vegetable garden!

Nutgrass/Watergrass/Nutsedge!  I forgot about that stuff, it should have been on the list of endemics around hear:



...HAH!  I laugh because at the commercial property I maintain I allow it to grow in one of those parking-lot islands because the landlord is too cheap to pay me to dig it out & put something like liriope in there instead.

He just keeps Round-Upping it (to no effect), hah.  This spring he threw a bunch of mulch on top of it;  which was HALF of my recommendation to him:  the other half being DIG THAT SHIT OUT first.

Anyway, as you can see from the rhizome image (rightmost, above) it has these little tuber things that you usually miss when attempting to dig them out.  They are sort of designed by nature to break off underground to grow a new plant.

About the only successful tactic I know of with this one is, again;  dig it out by the root.  It is about as difficult as Johnson Grass to fully eradicate.  Basically, you have to be patient and keep after it on multiple occasions.

If you don't have one of these:



...get one:  they are indispensable to the "dig-out" method;  especially if you are trying to clear an infestation out from among turf-grasses.

Used judiciously, you can extract the offending rhizome without overly disturbing the roots of the turf:  there will be damage but the grass typically recovers if you give it a shot of water and tamp it back down after you are done.

Don't be surprised if you miss a "nut" and see another sprout after a decent precipitation event (hence the "WaterGrass" moniker):  not a big deal you have now located the "nut" you missed before and it has consumed itself creating a new sprout.  Get that bastige fast before it matures and create more "nuts" for you to discover after the next rain.

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Quote from: Walks_At_Night on August 15, 2022, 01:32:33 PMBought a place out in the country - wife wanted a garden and a place with a real yard. There are two huge logs and bunch of branches and smaller tree trunks left in a heap out back.  I'm thinking about going with a hugelkultur but the huge logs are a concern.  Anyone have any practical experience with this? The theory sounds good but got some Q's on the implementation.

I sometimes contract for a goofy hippie lady that paid too much money (any amount at all) to be Officially Certified via Online Academy in a thing invented (and also Trademarked & Patented) in the 1970s called "Permaculture" by some quasi-scientific dude.

Basically, it is the Botanical equivalent of Scientology:  you pay monies for higher levels of whatever... I digress.

This Permaculture thing borrows from the Hugelkultur, among other things.  The main theory being that buried wood traps water which the plants above can then tap into.  Probably true, but I bet the more important thing that happens is that fungi (the only thing capable of digesting wood, in the guts of termites &tc that "eat wood" as a symbiote) gets down in there and develop their mycelium network which has been shown to symbiotically connect with the roots of plants to transfer/trade nutrients/water.

Anyway, burying that wood is not a horrible idea as long as you don't get some non-beneficial fungal species growing down there that actually attacks living plants.  Most fungi are saprotrophs and not parasites...

I believe the fungi that goes after your tomato roots is a parasitic one.  I digress again!

In short, your hugulkulture idea is a good one.  Depending on the size of the chunk o' land you have you might also consider using them to construct a "swale," here's a vidya (I think this is one of the Permaculture kooks;  his implementation is sound if somewhat psuedo-scientific...):


I recall stumbling across this vidya after meeting the goofy hippie lady I sometimes contract with, seeing the "PERMACULTURE" tag, and then laughing to myself after watching it.

Apparently, I have constructed a swale over the years along the side fenceline that abuts a parking lot.  AND I did it intuitively without being a sucker & paying some Ell-Rahn Hubbeard type big bucks for the "secret."

Again, I believe the concept of a "swale" predates this PermaCulture™ thing, which obviously stole the idea for financial gain.

The inventor of PermaCulture™ and his postulants are saprotrophic, parasitic, and quite possibly both.

If the Oak is not totally rotten and somewhat close to a roadway, you might consider having it extracted and hauled off to a lumber-mill.  Especially if you are a wood-worker of any kind, you could have some gold there?

I know the guys at the lumber mill that cut up the Red Oak into beams, posts, and planks for me get dead wood all the time;  it is already dried out and makes for nice stock wood.

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Quote from: JaxTard on August 15, 2022, 02:45:15 AMStop spelling my name wrong. Thanks.

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Quote from: albrecht on August 15, 2022, 10:46:07 AMThe initial policing the area prior to mowing is key. And you even need to pay attention while mowing as it doesn't take much more than a piece of mulch or a stick to jam the blades. Only drawback of the manual mower and it is a slight and easily dealt with. I actually was surprised how good the mower was, even after a months of letting the grass grow long (experimental idea for summer) it cuts through like butter. Thanks for the technical advice. I do think you are correct with regard to manufacturing. Seem to be essentially same machine separated by coloring, marketing, and price. There could, like seen in other things, maybe some warranty or maintenance differences with the higher price brands?

Indeed, sir.  You will find that Hamm's (or any quality "Yard Beer") pairs well with the reel mower.  I prefer the Pabst Blue Ribbon, or if I am feeling high-class the Miller High Life, while performing Basic Lawn Maintenance.

I have found that there are certain weed grasses that the reel mower doesn't play well with.

Duck grass (what I call it anyway) or Crow's Foot:



...is probably the worst.  Some folks call it Crab-grass, and I suppose it is a type of that, but the main thing is that this stuff will spread out low in a radial pattern from that central root and choke out the "Reel" turf-grasses that you want.  If it gets to be a large clump, it can jam up the blades like a piece of mulch!

Johnson grass (probably from Johnson County, KS *spit*):



...is actually worse than "Duck grass," probably even more Bamboo-like than that stuff.  It has these nasty underground rhizome/roots that can go way deep, and you have to dig every bit of them up or it comes right back!  I don't have this in my lawn, but there is some in the landscape beds (especially under some ornamental shubs) that I have been fighting at the Commercial property.  Round-up does nothing to this stuff, Round-Up sucks actually.  It kills nothing you want it to and wipes out stuff you like, digging out by the roots is far superior...

Then there is common crab-grass:



...which isn't really all that bad other than it tends to grow faster & taller than your good turf-type grasses and makes the yard look like garbage.  I call all of these "Garbage Grass," if you have a thick stand of this stuff it can easily clog up the Reel Mower and turns your nice white tennis-shoes green because it is pretty juicy stuff.  Get rid of it!

There are probably more, but those three seem to be the most ubiquitous in my parts.  They all have a similar seed-head, make sure to burn those seed-heads unless you want to those babies to sprout so you can pull more weeds later.

Here's a half decent vidya on how to adjust the HEIGHT of your mower:


...that vidya-dude sounds a bit light in the loafers (he apparently has the left-leaning "EarthWise" version), not that there is anything wrong with that, but he shows the three different positions you can move the reel to if you take the mower apart to get to the adjustment bolts (this took me a year or so to figure out.)

The higher off the ground the bolt mount the lower the bedknife is in relation to ground level.  I have my back-yard one set to that lowest position, then you use the back roller/wheel adjustment to fine tune things.

I think you can get down to 1/2" or less with these things, I have mine all set to different heights.  1" backyard mower, 2" commercial, 1.5" on retired original American and whatever height the little Scotts 14" the neighbors have is set to.

Sort of a pain in the butt to change the height with all of mine, they don't have the knob/lever on the back roller/wheels:  you have to unbolt them and move them around.  I think Great States sells the adjustable-lever thing if you want to replace a static roller.

I might get one of those for the 18" some day, as I am thinking about taking on the neighbor's lawn (he was almost begging me to a few months ago, but I couldn't make the time commitment...  I am thinking of striking a quid-pro-quo deal with him as he is a Lawyer that specializes in Property Law which I will have a need for at some future point, I digress...)

Anyway, the best part about these mowers (and the main reason I switched to them) is that you can leave them out in the elements and they still work fine (just need a squirt of WD-40 or PB-blaster)...

My residence does not have a garage or outbuilding to keep stuff in, so all my old gas mowers would continually fail and have to be taken to the shop to keep them running (mainly due to rain because I got lazy about trucking them up & down from the basement every week.)

I am a bent & bermuda man, and I allow clover to grow as well, but other than that it gets eliminated with extreme prejudice!

What sort of grass is in your lawn?

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Quote from: Asuka Langley on August 14, 2022, 09:27:55 PMhttps://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/pet-hamsters-facing-cull-to-stop-monkeypox-spread/ar-AAXNL8K

...

Teh hard-core gays use guinea pigs instead of gerbils/hamsters.

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Quote from: albrecht on August 14, 2022, 12:53:43 PMNot for green reasons but I gave up on my lawnmower of death (dubbed so because I cannibalized two mowers to make run and disabled all safeties so blades would run without the safeties required by govt edicts and would run so loud and nasty burning oil so inhalations were, likely, dangerous.) So I went green n got an old-school mower for the house yard which isn't so large. Brand new for $15 by a guy who got it to 'help him exercise but gave up on that on being too hard.'
 
Actually works great and added benefit it has that top cut (versus side cuts) like the pros use on ballfields and golf courses. And quiet so I can mow anytime I want and hear bizarre things like the guest on C2C last night who discovered a replication/archeological find of the Spokane airport under the sea of Baja! But the runways were even larger! Unfortunately Olivia from Austin doesn't have access to a computer with pictures and so she "misses out on a lot."

Are you talking about a "Reel Mower?":



If so, I have four of them!

A micro 14" (Scotts), 2x 16" (Scotts & American), and a 18" (Great States).

I use the 18" for my commercial property maintenance gig, the Scotts 16" for my back-yard and have the 14" on loan to the back neighbors (they foolishly landscaped and planted grass in an area without making sure their tiny garden path was wide enough for their 18" [Mother Nature or somesuch nonesense eco-brand name]).

The old and original American is retired, I beat the hell out of it on the commercial lot, and is mainly for spare parts.

I think these are all pretty much manufactured by the same company:  as the parts on the Scotts, American/Great States are all perfectly interchangeable with one another.  Scotts probably just has them paint them green and slap a "Scotts" sticker on them then sells them for more $$$, gotta love capitalism!

When I need new gear and pawls I order direct from Great States:

https://americanlawnmower.com/collections/great-states

If you have to replace those, REMEMBER to make sure the LEFT one goes on the LEFT and the RIGHT one goes on the RIGHT, otherwise the reel will spin backwards and not cut anything (this is actually useful when you are sharpening the bedknife with some sharpening compound):

https://youtu.be/IG30TLMYyVw <-- this was the original vidya I posted which won't embed for some reason, the guy below uses a POWER DRILL!  HUA!
Now that guy is using some special tool, but if you put the LEFT gear on the RIGHT side & flip the pawl so it will engage in that orientation and verse vica on the other side, then put it all back together you can just drive the mower around to accomplish the back-lapping.

Hopefully, your bedknife has been properly adjusted over the years (equal turns on the screws on both sides) or the thing will cut lopsided at a goofy angle which is not fun to correct.  This is part of the problem with my old original American:  the previous owner didn't know what he was doing with the equipment which was probably why I got it for free.  HAH!

To tell the truth, I don't think I paid for any of mine.  I offered the guy that gave me the 18" $20 but he just "Bro Coded" it to me.  I think I owe him some weed or something.

You can even get gasoline powered versions of them (à la mode de "LawnMower Man") if you feel like spending $1500.


I recommend that, if you get one of those, pre-sweep your mowing area for sticks, stones and iron bars before beginning your cut.

In fact, I recommend doing that with the push versions:  hitting any of that stuff is akin to the neighborhood asshole throwing a stick into your bicycle spokes when you were a kid.  HARD STOP, OUCH!

And if it's a rock not great for the blade, even larger sticks can knick a chunk out calling for a re-lap.

Tuning the bedknife is probably the most difficult thing:  too tight and you won't be able to push the mower;  too loose and it won't cut the grass.  If you turn them unevenly one side will cut and the other one won't.

Wow.  Apparently I have a lot to say about these things.  To sum it up:

I love them and they are bar-none the BEST way to mow a lawn:  low-impact on the turf, impossible to scalp the grass, and like using a thousand pairs of scissors to perfectly cut the grass.

The only drawback is that they do not do well cutting more than 1/2" off the top, anymore than that and it will be a sweaty stuggle.  With these the rule is:  MOW EARLY and MOW OFTEN.

Let me be the first to welcome you to the world of true lawn aficionados!

Now:


HAH!

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+19.5

I was actually able to tune in to the show while on the road to St. Joseph, MO.  I even got it to play on the vehicle soundsystem via the Blue-Tooth technology.  Almost drained my battery... the Big Eff "fart track" (#110?) was great and deployed to great comedic effect by eMCee.

Unfortunately, this did not help me in my quest to find a stand of Sand Hill Plums (for making delicious jelly) on the country side roads during the return to KC leg of the trip.  I think the drought might be affecting the crop, although the corn and soybeans in the cultivated fields seemed to be doing well...

I digress.



Grate Shoe!

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PET FEAR Gerbils and hamsters may have to be PUT DOWN to control spread on monkeypox

Quote from: https://www.the-sun.com/health/5439706/monkeypox-gerbils-hamsters-put-down/PET gerbils and hamsters can catch monkeypox and may have to be put down to control its spread, health chiefs have warned...

Are we at PKW (Peak Klown Whirl'd) yet?


Nautical Shore...

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Quote from: ItsOver on August 13, 2022, 07:39:47 PMLet's see. "Easily consumable in a bind."

Hmmm, I guess the S&M types could go for it.

The Admiral's 5.1/10 on that site delivers a simply devastating broadside (probably a raking fore or aft T-crossing) to the lowly Captain's 4.9/10!

https://rumratings.com/rum/168-captain-morgan-spiced

Just sayin'...

If you want to ruin Sailor Jerry's by making mojitos out of it, I suggest YOU buy the booze and I'll spring for the Potato Chips...

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Quote from: K_Dubb on August 13, 2022, 07:12:43 PMhttps://twitter.com/CarymaRules/status/1558548020337197056

They tried the arrest-the-police thing up there.

I've seen bad chatter on the 'nets about this Ramona Dildo lady.  I think she is a nutter, claims to be the "Queen of Canada" by divine right or somesuch nonsense.


Possibly not so much an "arrest" per se but more of a "carted off to the loony-bin"?

Blonde police lady is hawt:  Wood/Would mount that Mountie!

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Quote from: ItsOver on August 13, 2022, 05:05:29 PMOf course, what was I thinking.  Hopefully you'll be a little quicker on your pogo stick, hopping down the road for the Admiral's. Nothing but the best booze for us aficionados of fine live art. At least we won't have to be concerned about the itchy gay guys bumming our booze, since they'll no doubt have better taste.

The Admiral gets fine reviews:

https://rumratings.com/rum/10-admiral-nelson-s-premium-spiced

I had no idea that the Admiral produces this fine looking product:



I will have to put in requests at my favored suppliers to ensure that this obviously superior product is available next time I need mojito ingredient restocking.

For those snooty itchy gay-types I see that he also makes:



A premium Coconut-flavored version;  as well as Watermelon, Premium Raspberry, Pineapple, Cherry Spiced & Vanilla versions.

I wonder how the Premium Gold & Black Patch editions stack up next to regular Admiral's?

I had no idea of the Admiral's wealth in variety!

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Quote from: ItsOver on August 13, 2022, 02:42:34 PMOK, I don't have anything else better to do tonight. I'll go watch some itchy gay guys.

Want to come along Pate? You bring the booze and I've got half a bag of Ruffles laying around here somewhere.

Quote from: albrecht on August 13, 2022, 02:52:52 PMRuffles seem suspect. This to be addressed at the SardineFest. What with the Ruffles when an original Lays could suffice.

...

Quote from: ItsOver on August 13, 2022, 03:19:07 PM...
 
I hope Pate doesn't get lost in the drive-thru again, picking up the booze.

I will not get lost in the drive-thru, this has never happened.  I think the incident you refer to was when I walked to the liquor store during my one of my GabCast co-hosting appearances, that was Great Radio btw.  That was roughly a two-mile roundtrip, and I think I did it in record drunken thyme.  (Someone will have to review the tapes to find out how long it took me to walk two miles and interact with the staff at the liquor store.  My guess is about half an hour tops.)

I happen to have a half bottle of Admiral Nelson's left, and was just about to head out for supplies to make coleslaw and potato salad.



I shall add another bottle of the Admiral's best to the list.

As to this mission of watching itchy gay guys;  I really have lots of shit to fix:  but I will go along as long as we can turn this to my KamPain's advantage somehow.

In order to blend in, the Admiral Nelson's will be used to make mojitos (a fancy version of Navy Grog that I have found to be very refreshing in this brutal MidWest heat-wave), and the chips must be:



...for reasons.  Y'all are both wrong with the Ruffles and Lay's.  Although, now that I think of it perhaps a combination of all three will also be good camouflage?

We will also need some sort of technology capable of defeating or rendering inoperable the Gay-Dar, or we will have to drag K_Dubb along as additional cover.

Hopefully, the establishment where these somewhat questionable observations are to take place both accepts BYOB and is capable of making a mojito (fresh mint isn't that common).

Hear, mission Musaks:


Thank you in Advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO farted in the elevator?"

CLASSIFICATION: FOCUO
"JEWELED ALIEN" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

Quote from: ItsOver on August 13, 2022, 01:36:33 PMI'm pretty sure I haven't had sex with more than ten people in the last 30 years. For sure, it wasn't all at once.

Chairman ItsOver:

Hopefully, you are married and have been so for less than 30 years;  Otherwise I will have to accept your resignation from the Chairmanship of the Federal Communications Commision.

There is only one set of circumstances that the MAPA ideals find acceptable for your position.

I am certain you understand and that this Official KamPain related communiqué is unnecessary.

Hear, Musaks:


pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO farted in the elevator?"

Is there a French connection hear?


https://www.archyde.com/monkey-pox-more-than-2670-confirmed-cases-in-france/

K_Dubb, Attend:

Watch out for them Frenchies down at the docks!

Anyhow, I don't feel like our Administration requires any sort of Official Position on this one, but if you like you may make it one of your pet-projects.

You know how I feel about Man-Dates and Man-Dating stuff...

pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO farted in the elevator?"

After he gets freed, maybe he can get a gig in the John Hinckly Jr. Band:


https://www.newsweek.com/attempted-reagan-assassin-john-hinckley-jr-starting-band-looking-musicians-1670767

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Quote from: Nyewalker on August 12, 2022, 09:53:00 AM

That sweater looks both vaguely familiar and lovable.  Additionally, I wonder what handle this alleged BellGabber goes by hear?  I cannot imagine that they would be so foolish as to use their real name, Lee!

Commenting on the vidya itself:  Does that fake frozen alien body have prominent labia or is that just my wildly overactive imagination a 'twerk?

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Quote from: chefist on August 12, 2022, 05:54:50 PMYES FOLKS! It's going to be a blast...lots to catch up on, not just about the ole Tubster..BG is back!

REMEMBER! Give me song requests for the hour before...one has already been submitted...

CHAT ROOM SHOUT OUTS! Get your creative chat room handles ready!

I would like to request this one for the one hour musical intro.

Due to scheduling conflicts I will, regrettably, be unable to attend.

-p

I vote to have this thread renamed "Pedophile-in-Chief Joe Biden"



Biden Races To Sniff One Last Girl Before Losing Sense Of Smell From COVID

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Quote from: comaphobe on August 04, 2022, 02:39:48 AMThis is how the video looks...

I think if you use the "YouTube" button above the textbox to insert the vidya it does not do that:



versus when you just paste the link into the textbox:


https://youtu.be/5M_jh4CA8a8

I suppose I will find out if my theory is correct or not in a moment...

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ediot:  Yep, and this will only be apparent if one is viewing this post on a handheld device with a tiny screen...

I think right around now (+/- hrs) is the eleven year anniversary of Extortion 17.

I still don't buy the official version of the story:  a one in a million dumb-fire RPG shot in the dead of night impacting the engine then deflecting into the rear rotors and detonating there.

There were various political reasons to deny the existence of MANPAD (Man Portable Air Defense) weaponry in the hands of the insurgents at the time.  The Benghazi, Libya thing a year later and the allegations of weapons deals that ultimately ended up in the hands of terrorists only made my eyebrow raise a bit more over the official story.

I suppose, as was infamously said back then:



I don't know, eleven years latter it still smells funny...  But what do I know?

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JaxTard?

Nautical Shore...

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Quote from: MV/Liberace! on August 05, 2022, 01:38:15 AM... complained about single ply tissue and cracks in sidewalks?

My Administration has these two issues at the top of our list of Shit to Fix.

You can take that to the bank, less my 25% cut!

pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO farted in the elevator?"

Quote from: Big Chicken on August 04, 2022, 07:01:05 AMThe dog diddlers are gonna burn in hellfire!

I hear this is how the Monkey-Butt Pox gets spread around...

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