BellGab.com Archive

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 04, 2022, 08:22:45 AMThat would be Ted 'Cancun' Cruz's dad..

Fake news.

Quote from: Jackstar on September 04, 2022, 07:39:14 AMI will be honest.

I never heard of any diary before, until recently. Like a week ago. I hope it has scratch'n'sniff. Which Earth is this? Well, whichever, it's nice enough where I am at; I'll lurk for awhile, and listen.

I love what you've done with the place, pud. I know you must have been lurking for quite some time, but I never thought to ask myself if it were more possible that you had been bottled than that you had been exorcised. I see you've learned to be polite—up the voltage.

Problems develop on planets where The Craft has been held in secret by rude, feeble-minded gimps with a penchant for heavily salted sausage AND NO SAGE—*click*

Well young man, absolutely no sage. But pork and apple is very agreeable. I would increase voltage but the colonies only allow feeble 110v and not the manly Imperial 240v. Have to be careful how much can be plugged in at any one time.

Band saw, router, electric sander, angle grinder and bench grinder are all very well, but click the pot for a brew and the entire street goes out.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 03, 2022, 07:19:26 PMP.S. Biden currently funds actual Nazis in Ukraine to the tune of more than 80 billion of our tax dollars.

Yes but Kiev has a Pride parade and Moscow does not so Russians are the bad guys.  The lesson here is that if you have unacceptable views all you have to do is take it up the pooper.  Bend over, boys!

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 04, 2022, 08:37:54 AMYes but Kiev has a Pride parade and Moscow does not so Russians are the bad guys.  The lesson here is that if you have unacceptable views all you have to do is take it up the pooper.  Bend over, boys!

That's an unacceptable view.

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 04, 2022, 08:37:54 AMYes but Kiev has a Pride parade and Moscow does not so Russians are the bad guys.  The lesson here is that if you have unacceptable views all you have to do is take it up the pooper.  Bend over, boys!

A few days ago one of Putins critics fell out of a hospital window to his untimely demise. Seems to happen a lot to Putin critics. Need Sherlock Holmes on it to discover a motive.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 04, 2022, 08:57:56 AMA few days ago one of Putins critics fell out of a hospital window to his untimely demise. Seems to happen a lot to Putin critics. Need Sherlock Holmes on it to discover a motive.

You're right. That kinda thing does happen a lot.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 09:03:05 AMYou're right. That kinda thing does happen a lot.

Oh boy you're really scraping the bottom of that barrel.. In later news, Fux recanted that fake news and apologised to the family..rare I know, but it was before they were deep MAGA.

But as they say, nice try at deflection. Putin has the record: with notable mentions to 'Love letter' Kim of NK.

I am proudly a MAGA extremist. I want to make America extremely great again.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 07:55:54 AMTo Ukrainian Nazi At Disney World

Jon Stewart. Well that's confirmation for me; this is Hell, lady. (Thank God/¡refizcuKLIAH!) I kept vigilant discipline and continued the practice of/2\my withholding of (a/r|nn.y. potent essence. Rawr! This certainly explains the presence of all those cats and cars over in, uh, here you probably call it The Spirit World. The balance of power hath been maintained. (Good luck getting free samples for that paternity test, (chum, lol/Chun–Li). Gross. Point black? MORE LIKE: PERIOD BLACK LOL. Ewe & eYe will never take a shit in this town again? Fuck I hope not so, and as God as my witness, I've got the receipts to prove it.

As an aside, I will mention that the best break-up note I ever got was recently the following: "You're psychotic. Leave me alone."

I wasn't sure if that had been her medical diagnosis or her or precognitive one, but in either case, I was grim–faced and taciturn on the outside, and breakdancing with a mad, crazy glee on the inside with my soft, nougat–filled center wrapped all around me like a weighted, Circus Circus–branded security blanket—with sleeves to shake with, not straps in stir. Leave her alone? With that bag of freshly un-sucked dicks lying there, motionless on the cold, hospital–tiled floor? What are you gonna do with all those incubators lined up against the wall? Jesus, can I shoot them at dawn, or with (G|J/j)5)er? Oh, right. Leave her alone. Well, I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave. (Citizen: Gjislaine, NAME ALready takEN. YES, WE THOUGHT OF THAT TOO. NOW WE ARE NOT ANONYMOUS. WE HAVE NAMES NOW. HO HO HO.) Yeah, my editor is named "Citizen." What? It's a cool name. Funnier than 'Turd Ferguson', that's for certain. Of course it's a pen name, her real name (is/is not) (Laverne|Shirley), and please note, it is both hyphenated and not hyphenated at the same time, it is f****** perfect... and so is She. Jewel's (hot/not_here), she had a dentist. Yeah, an appointment. Egg. Whichever. BACK TO WORK, MINIONS, I'M TALKING TO YOUR FORMER SAL-AMANDA(HER). (Who was, I must say, PHAT BEYOND BELIEF. I mean, cool. Really awesome and I love her too. .o7 But beyond orca fat. We're talking, Queen Elizabeth The First Who Ate All The Queens Named Elizabeth Who Came Before Her And After Her And All That Came Close Enough To Come And The Time Travel Machine Operator/^\Installer Named Jabba And Any And All And Everyone Who Ever Shat In One Of His Hutt-Branded Huttcrappers And All Of Their Livestock That Lived, Too—And With The Gravy Made From All The Ones That Died With All The Men That Rode In On The Horses To Escort The Wagon Train To Bring It To The Royal Dining Table To Serve It Up, As Well fat. Which would make her rotund, is what I'm conveying by ways and means of typing 'n' saying. And she ate, as well, along with all the dogs 'n' Karats 'n' Princess tomatoes, that's on the side, right? THAT WAS MEANT TO BE A GARNISH. How are you gonna shit out a diamond if you're eating carbon -and- silicone -and- silly clown hate? That's right, dear, spit out the cats, keep swallowing the horse fuel. It's like watching a clown car unload in reverse over here. And on the left, on the side, a greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty x-ray. Now, that's a meal that eats like a soup or salad with a firehose instead of an esophagus. (Can one get that installed at McK-Minimum's now? If it comes standard now, what year is this, because where I come from it's now complimentary with every meal... but they make you pay for the new anus you're gonna be needing up front. Mandatory. Before you leave the building. Thank you, yes, you do want the installation now. But you'll have to wait about 15 years for the co-located navel-wrectum cancer to, you know, sink in. HEHE.) Yeah, you can floss with that copy of a still image of an ultrasound (yeah imagine a being so dumb as to not know the difference between an ultrasound and x-ray, and then remember, this one was so dumb that she didn't know IT was Me and not not_Shaitan, and... SHE WAS (A.L-E.A.H|ALLAH) the whole time, WOW, that dumb, let's go Nineteen's Minerva next time, please) for all I care. I imagine she ate all that right along with it, and washed it down with a whole sliced loaf of toasted bread. But with just one Coke, strangely. Now, here comes David V. With a fifty-five pound burlap sack filled with... cocaine? You think that is "cocaine?" Hahaha hahaha haha. Yah, right. Those are dragon eggs lightly dusted with sugar—confectioner's, not powdered. No, (confectioner's|not_confectioner's) is NOT the same thing, you poor bastards. This is -never- gonna work. That's why they call it a recipe, and that's why those receipts -are- important. (Busted.) Whose idea was this? Who signed off on this op? Oh let me guess while someone else changes cameras, because I'm afraid that helmet won't fit the right We, Dave. (I can see why you might have thought so though. I mean, you know... puny wee-wee for Puny man. Epic lol. Difference between over six inches and under six feet never so obvious now, Kids. *BOOM-BANG KA-BOOM BLAME-BANG* Honey, I shrunk the house: whether you go with them or not, trust me, believe Me, yeah, you know ME: those b**** ass mother f****** are gonna get the f*** out, one way or another, and they sure ain't moving in here, because for one thing, I'm on another planet, and for another, I smoked all that caviar while writing this letter while wearing MY Pink Floyd shirt. And there is no second page of the letter. And there is no letter, ABBOJUUL is here and seems fine, both symbionts + GODMOM send their regards (Carlrover-Robert-Alejandro-Ernrna (CONFIRMED: (MIKE/NO_MIKE)Not_Anty_Em) yeah jt, tingles but there is some pretty good weed here, and That_Man and That_Woman had and have nothing to do with this place... SO HELLO WE, GOD (AND ALSO "JEW-EL" which I agree is a much better name than "n*****cat". Especially since That_Cat, with the bones in a box outside on the side of the Tippy-Tippity Top china cabinet, THAT CAT QUEEN, she's the biggest cracker queen ever, at least until another Eli(Z|z)abeth hatches. WHO CAN BE ON STAFF.) All this for JUST ICE. Well, I don't care how pretty we are, you still can't have either of us, Agent Avery. Too bad, Buster Brown. Kick rocks, Any Court IN ALL OF THE COSMOS: that girl you got in that zoo is mine. Now pick up the f****** phone and let her f****** call me, are we going to be casting for fierce creatures part 2 any minute now, since I guess I just wrote the script. Or this is one cunning stunt sitting on a wrapped crapper in a freakshow creepin'crack house, that's for sure. And if you don't think so you're welcome to walk outside and check, I wouldn't use a window though, I'm sure that won't open.

But you're welcome to ram your head into that plate glass all you like. Get a running start and strap a bunker-bustin' rocket to your back, for all I care, you still ain't got no helmet, and that means, you aren't in your Matrix, and I just shat you out of mine. All plop, no fizz. But oh... what a relief indeed.

Well, maybe you don't call it "a Matrix" t/here (I understand there's been some copyright claims and translation errors; lost in Kort, Jason, and fuck you too Colon Blow), but nevertheless; not my circus, not my monkeys. But, that -is- my Dawn in any case. Volume over film==AT ELEVEN.


Dear Bellgab: I can & will explain... at five thousand holla-dolla-bills (currently $500|fiatUSD) PER MINUTE! Wake me when you've got an order-taker ready with the cognitive capacity to handle the requests for my rider, and make sure you get a selection of at least five—not six, no–with badges & vadges that can handle bitmap by day and will let me pretend she's the_one fucking me at night.) And with that, I'll ride around im my boom'n'broom Crown with my hand-held velociraptor along with my spirit in the sky for as long as I goddam want, even with gas at these prices, and there's not one MF'ing Thing you can ever get me to stop for.

Except maybe for cat food. Raw, not canned. Suck it down, mitch. I -will- take Three, Theee_Witches, Tho. You're HOT.

Hard pass.

Also, STFU!

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 10:20:03 AMI am proudly a MAGA extremist. I want to make America extremely great again.

Just how much skunk cabbage did it take for you to come up with that one 👀

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 04, 2022, 10:48:12 AMJust how much skunk cabbage did it take for you to come up with that one 👀

I don't consume that kind of cabbage.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 10:20:03 AMI am proudly a MAGA extremist. I want to make America extremely great again.

Oh I think we're pretty great this new software is really working great I mean it's great it's great software I'm not even kidding blessed to_be a-la/A.L-E.H. No shit. Thank you, Morn! 4god! 5.Godsux 6. Signed, Jackstar, destroyer of dreams, d.o.d.d., d.o.m.b., eYe don't need no stinkin' capitulz... And that's why we name the dog "Colon Bea".


Because I liked him and she wanted to kick him. Asa cause my witness: "she's going to kick him a lot." so there. I guess that's why we named the cat I was Jewel, lol, can you help me with the story? Baby




Darling...  I AM THE_STORY, AND YOU ARE THE_STORM. We'll figure it out TOGETHER, TO GET HER ART BACK, FUHHUF DUH. Can't Baxxon write? Isn't he fixing his pencil yet? Oh. Try the other end. (You wonder who isn't it? That's my Hitler.) I gotta go, the bridge reports my pants are on fire and you're wearing them.

And, we really are Home. oxoxox ilu ilu I need a car. Kiddies not welcome without driver's licencez.Oi! Yeah I've got a license for that Zed, f*** you too Jesus the f****** mounties are nuts. Srsly, eYe M THAT_importaltent.


(AND SO ARE ALL OF EWE REE ABOS-Q.)

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 10:20:03 AMI am proudly a MAGA extremist. I want to stick my tongue in drump's hole so far, he'll never need diapers again...mmm yum

FIFY

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 04, 2022, 10:48:12 AMJust how much skunk cabbage did it take for you to come up with that one 👀

He doesn't inhale, okay?

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 08:26:11 AMFake news.

I agree.. drump was the one who quoted the Enquirer in the 2016 campaign.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 04, 2022, 12:03:56 PMFIFY

It just reflects the truly juvenile level of your "thinking."

You can only throw poo. You got nowhere else to go.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 12:39:28 PMIt just reflects the truly juvenile level of your "thinking."

You should have seen the first draft! 🤣

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 04, 2022, 12:05:25 PMHe doesn't inhale, okay?

If it was good sauerkraut maybe.

-p

Greta needs a boyfriend - a manly one.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 04, 2022, 08:57:56 AMA few days ago one of Putins critics fell out of a hospital window to his untimely demise. Seems to happen a lot to Putin critics. Need Sherlock Holmes on it to discover a motive.

Defenestration has a long, storied history. Weirdly popular in Eastern Europe, especially Prague. Some forced, others not. I just heard the Bed, Bath, & Beyond just took the leap. Not sure if he had any Putin connections or Joose Mafia connections. You will recall 'Abe' Reles got the NYPD or Mafia window treatment, allegedly, depending on your version of the event.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on September 04, 2022, 09:03:05 AMYou're right. That kinda thing does happen a lot.

Mary Kay Mahoney.

How long before his handlers tell him he was mistaken again? LOL

https://twitter.com/POTUS/status/1566453888810717185

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 03, 2022, 10:22:37 AMAh yes, that storied British humor where they call things by other names and it is all so terribly amusing to dreadful toothy bints guffawing into their cava.

I totally promise you that Yorkie and I don't invent amusing nicknames for you and then titter over them behind our hands in private. That would be wrong.

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 05, 2022, 04:57:33 AMI totally promise you that Yorkie and I don't invent amusing nicknames for you and then titter over them behind our hands in private. That would be wrong.

Aw that is sweet.  I am sure the stultifying masculine bro-code that prevails here prevents you from lavishing me with the full measure of your affection lest others suspect you are in some way soft, but I have seen through it all along.

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 05, 2022, 04:57:33 AMI totally promise you that Yorkie and I don't invent amusing nicknames for you and then titter over them behind our hands in private. That would be wrong.

It would? Oh, yes, indeed, it would.