BellGab.com Archive

Quote from: b_dubb on January 14, 2014, 08:34:20 PM
I don't see consumers warming up to this.

Then you are naive.  Society today is largely driven by stupid people.  They have enough economic clout to move things, and they're as compliant as drugged lambs.  Our future is in the hands of rapacious billionaires and the morons they control.   Normal humans are fucked.  There'll be a role for us as stuffed exhibits in a museum somewhere, but that's about it.

Quote from: jazmunda on January 14, 2014, 08:33:27 PM
I for one welcome our new digital overlords.

That seems to be the prevailing opinion...we're already fucked, so might as well suck some ass to move ahead in the line.

I just heard that beginning with the 2015 models, you will need to own a smart phone to enter or start a new car.

Fuck smartphones, fuck the "Internet of everything," and fuck those cocksuckers at Google et al who are forcing us into this digital abyss.

Quote from: ItsOver on January 14, 2014, 08:02:30 PM
I love the smell of the air when it's like this.  Sharp, with just a hint of smokiness, maybe from nearby fireplaces.  It makes you feel alive.

Peeps talk a lot about the view, but the smell is what grabs me by the short hairs.  There are certain times a year where I live when those smells really dominate your senses.  Those are my favorites...but I have a lot of favorites.

I worked with a linux distribution back in 2003 when I was considering moving to linux rather than XP.  Went with XP and have been using it since then through several hardware upgrades.  Actually running a 32 bit version on 64 bit hardware right now.

If I am pushed off of XP, I'm moving to linux.  I like to feel like I have some control with what I am using and I don't feel that with Win 7.  I would not use Google Chrome or Android or any other Google OS or product at the point of a bayonet.   At some point Google is going to take over the Internet and at that time I will reduce my Internet presence to anything that can't be done out of a library or other public PC.

"I Wish I Could Quit You"

Quote from: ItsOver on January 12, 2014, 06:28:15 PM
Bowery Boy chick

Deft.

Definition of BOYCHICK
:  a young man :  boy

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 11, 2014, 11:46:30 PM
Dan, your mentally inferior challenger could care less who gets killed with what; he is just a very small, self-loathing sociopath, that needs something and/or someone to hate, and any representation of self-reliance and strength is his target.

Shut your fuckin face, uncle fucker.

Well, what did I expect...you're Canadian.


South Park Uncle Fucka

Quote from: ItsOver on January 12, 2014, 06:02:55 PM
Here's another.  It is Sunday.

The new pope seems a lot fatter than I remember when he took the job.

Yesterday morning I headed up to my favorite liquor store to stock up for the night ahead.  My usual route takes me through a busy intersection near the freeway, where there are three lanes going in each direction.  On this morning, I was one of the poor unfortunates who just missed the light, so I was at the front of the line just behind the crosswalk.  I was positioned in the far right lane, grumbling a bit as I waited for the next cycle to pass me through the intersection and on my way.

I was feeling somewhat impatient, since I just barely missed getting through the light.  With nothing else to do but wait, I begin mentally calculating how far ahead I would have been if there were any justice in this world.  I fiddled with the radio.  I glanced at the traffic signal going the other way, so when it finally changed states I could leap forward through the intersection and on my journey without so much as a nanosecond of additional delay.  I was ready to roll, and twitching with anticipation. 

At just that moment, my gaze drifted down to the sidewalk below the light, where there were these two old Korean birds heading in a direction that would take them through the crosswalk in front of me. They're not so old that they need mobility assistance, but old enough that they waddle along with that "old people's gait."  You know the one, where their legs are bowed out like someone who has spent too long in the saddle, and they kind of waddle to and fro.

To my surprise and dismay, one of the pair croaked something in Korean that could be "Go! Let's hurry!" and they stepped off the curb just as the light going in my direction turned green.  As they hobbled along in the crosswalk directly in front of me, my irritation at being further delayed was quickly pushed aside by the view in my side mirror.  A sedan was rapidly approaching from behind me in the lane to my left. He can't see these two old birds because his view is blocked by my van, and certainly would not expect anyone to be in the crosswalk, since the light has now been green for several seconds.  My alarm spikes as I calculate that car and birds will meet each other in the crosswalk.

In an instant, the sedan is upon them. There is a sharp, hollow-sounding thud as it slams into their bodies, and I can hear what sounds like brittle old bones snapping. They arc through the air, some limbs disjointed at odd angles, others flapping freely and most unnaturally, before making a wet slapping sound as their bodies drop to the pavement.  But just before all that, in the instant before the car strikes them, there is enough time for them to know what is coming, that moment of inevitability, and a look of sheer terror crosses their faces and a brief strangled cry escapes from their lips, and I can tell exactly what is on their minds at that final moment: "No! This was a mistake! HELP ME!!" 

But none of that really happened.  Because once I see the car coming and can plot the inevitable, I slammed my palm against the horn, a horn loud enough to shatter glass and buckle the sheet metal of any car in front of me that is foolish enough to incur my wrath.  The blast from the horn staggers them, no doubt from confusion, because after all, who would be honking at them here in America, where the pedestrian is king?  They flinch to their right, but most importantly they stop moving forward for an instant, and in that instant the sedan screams past them and I can actually see their clothes ripple violently from the wind of the vehicle rushing past merely inches away. 

And then, after righting themselves from this double-barreled assault on their little journey, the one who croaked something back at the curb, the one who seems responsible for this whole misguided adventure, this old gaffer squares her shoulders, hooks her arm through that of the other old fossil, lowers her head, and takes off again in pursuit of her goal on the other side of the intersection. 

By this time I have the window down, and I stuck my head out and screamed at the top of my lungs, "GET BACK ON THE CURB, YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNTS!!"  In all of my life I have never expressed myself like this to any female that I wasn't sleeping with, and considering the unusual volume, crudeness of expression, and obvious lack of civility, I expected it to make an impression, but no; ancient chick #1 strained forward as if she hadn't heard me.  Ancient chick #2 hesitated, and seemed to be pondering whether it just might be better to retreat rather than argue with cars screaming past in both directions and some red-faced American maniac who looks like he might run them over for the fun of it. So she planted both feet and tugged on the arm of old biddy #1 with all her might, who resisted at first but finally relented, and then speeds back to the curb with her pal.  I rolled through the intersection to the sound of a chorus of car horns behind me honking the complaints of their owners.

What is the point of this story, and how does it relate to Earl?  Just this: Earl has this goal in mind, an idealized version of America where every person who thinks like he does is given an AR-15, a membership in the NRA, and a 15-year-old girl to marry, while those who disagree with him and his politics are gassed.  Since he can't legally compel this outcome, he's got a chubby for another Civil War.

I have to save Earl from himself.  If he were to get what he wants, a day of reckoning would someday arrive.  With all of those to the left of him, politically, dead and buried, Earl becomes the new Left Wing.  One day the security forces of the New Amerika would roll up in their monster trucks and cart him off to the camps.  And when they do, I already know what will be on his mind at that final moment: "No! This was a mistake! HELP ME!!"

Well, I can't very well help him after I've been turned into mulch, now can I?  So I'm doing it now.

The End.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on January 12, 2014, 01:33:13 PM
Damn..I promised I wouldn't post that again.. I'll get struck down now by Karl.

The doctor informed the patient that she only had six months to live.

"Doctor, is there anything I can do?"

"Well," the doctor said, "You can marry Quick Karl."

"And that will make me live longer?" asked the patient.

"No," said the doctor, "but that six months will seem like an eternity."

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 12, 2014, 01:13:35 PM
America has become a country of 300-million people all telling everyone else how to live as a smoke screen for deflecting attention from their own pathetic lives

Said the man who wants to start another Civil War because people refuse to act like he wants them to.

Normal people should shoo these domestic terrorist like Earl into some shithole state like Mississippi and District 9 the fuckin place. Get all the minorities out first for their own safety. Then let the Liberty People/teabaggers/pig fuckers call it their own country and run it according to their principles.

I give it a week before the place is completely fucked.  We can make hog feed out of the remains.

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 12, 2014, 10:59:52 AM
Stick that up your asses, girls.

Goddamn bible thumpers.  Ninety-two million people not working; now it's 92 million and one.  Thanks a pantload you fuckin jesus-squeezers.  I know that Earl has my back on this one because he was complaining about it before.

Quote from: Paper*Boy on January 11, 2014, 09:53:07 PM


For Benghazi, I'd suggest something a little more than 'incompetent'.  How about criminally incompetent? 

Or simply unfit for office

You're ignoring the point, and I have to give you credit for shooting a losing political position in the head and dumping it overboard. 

But forget about that.  Which one of your descriptions, given above, do you find morally more offensive than someone who willingly fucked his constituents in the ass out of spite for a political opponent?

And before you try to tuck your head into the armpit of comparing which caused more grief, we are talking (by your choice) which action should be subject to more moral outrage.  My view is that someone who fucks up due to lack of competence has a superior moral claim to someone who fucks up because he's an asshole that is trying to hurt people (again, just taking what you've presented as truisms about Obama at face value).  You might feel otherwise, and that's okay.  The world needs people who ditch their morality to gain advantage in a petty Internet argument.  They're the bad example in a teaching moment for the rest of humanity.

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 11, 2014, 09:34:24 PM
lemme guess... you missed the smiley faces and took the bait?

Dumb fucking ass I swear.

Pathetic. 

Quote from: Paper*Boy on January 11, 2014, 09:22:45 PM
Do I have that about right?

Dunno about your facts, but taking what you've said at face value, you have someone who fucked up a situation out of incompetence verses someone who fucked up a situation out of spite.

Advantage: Obama.  Deal with it.

Quote from: NowhereInTime on January 11, 2014, 04:23:32 PM
Did he do anything like lie about weapons of mass destruction to start a credit card war?

Fixed that for you.  The rest of the post was fine.

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 11, 2014, 09:02:35 PM
I thought of a better name for you idiots in the feces bin - "The Girls Team". Seems about perfect, in my humble opinion - you all act like Rosie O'Donnell and I think she's a girl...

Thank you all for letting me show so many people, just how hypocritical, intolerant, judgeMENTAL, and ridiculous you really are - but in all honesty, you all made it so very easy to do.

Eh...I dunno.  Sounds like someone trying to salvage a shred of dignity after being taken in by a liberal April Fool's joke from five years ago.

Quote from: West of the Rockies on January 11, 2014, 08:31:45 PM
I have a weakness for tangerine-tinted blondes.

Now if that isn't an UR corner line, nothing is.

Quote from: MV on January 11, 2014, 08:12:24 PM
true, but most of my threads are duds.

Van Gogh only sold one painting in his lifetime.  Cheer up.

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 11, 2014, 07:08:45 PM
http://www.americasfreedomfighters.com/2014/01/11/breaking-obama-college-records-released-financial-aid-as-a-foreigner/

BREAKING: OBAMA COLLEGE RECORDS RELEASED-FINANCIAL AID AS A FOREIGNER!

Says the article came from Oily Tits' website.  You can't beat Oily Tits for credibility on matters Obama.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthers/occidental.asp

It's an April Fool's joke from 2009, Earl.  It was designed to punk credulous neocon hillbillies like....you!   

Even the people posting in the comments section of your link realize that.  You would, too, if you weren't pumping your dork over this "find."

Quote from: c337pilot on January 10, 2014, 10:40:34 PM
If the thread was about Star Trek, Bacon, and porn; the thread would take off.

How bout a porn version of Star Trek where they land on a planet made of bacon?

Quote from: Unscreened Caller on January 11, 2014, 06:46:18 PM
You might even have fun, who knows?

Fun is for socialist pussies.

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 11, 2014, 06:17:06 PM
Don't cry too hard kids - you'll get over it, maybe...

Hey, if we were suddenly to do a u-turn here and start praising Earl to the heavens, he'd never know about it.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on January 11, 2014, 05:47:40 PM
Oh I'm hurt; No really.

Funni....he's ignoring everyone in the forum, but he keeps on flapping his gums.  Mostly to remind us that he's ignoring us.

Quote from: Quick Karl on January 11, 2014, 04:53:54 PM
Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip...

Hey Earl, remember all those times when you couldn't make up your mind?

Those days are behind you forever, my friend.  Meet your new Saturday night thang.

Quote from: Sambo on January 11, 2014, 03:13:36 PM
She looks nasty. The older I get the more women in make up look like clowns to me. That tan too, ugh

Homo.

Just kidding.  I don't find her attractive at all.  And those teeth!  Talk about WHITE.  So white that they can't dance.

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on January 11, 2014, 03:02:44 PM

Where? Back to the shop? Damn friday afternoon garbage, no-one takes pride in their work any more, not back in my day I can tell you. Any messing around with quality and it wo...(cont pp94)

Another mystery is taking it back from whom?  "Taking it back from them."  Who are they, these them?  If you pay attention, those them sure do get around, and a lot of people seem upset with them and want them to stop doing something, or start doing something, or give something back. 

I have an idea that this country would be a lot better of without them, whomever they are.

Quote from: MV on January 11, 2014, 03:00:51 PM
i've already started warming the pickup.

I don't know what that means, but your tone is disquieting.

I hope that saying I wanted to see Ron Paul run in 2016 counts for something.  Tiebreaker, or whatever.

Quote from: Seraphim27 on January 11, 2014, 02:49:04 PM
That's just me, though.

Me too.  Don't tell Vee-dubb, though.  I think he's really enjoying his feelings of righteous indignation.