The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[akwilly]

I believe I'be figured out what is happening to the "missing cats".  I will go through a rigorous scientific theorem on why so many kitties have to die.  It will quickly become apparent why I carelessly mix units in the equation.  Here is a diagram of Newton's law of gravitation.  In it the Force of attraction (F1 and F2) equals the product of the two objects masses (m1 and m2) divided by the square of the distance between the objects (r),  then multiplied by the gravitational constant (G).  In cases where F is large it results in the death of kitties.

Let us assume that Falkie is represented by m1 and the poor cat is represented by m2.  By his own admission, Falkie weighs over 350 pounds.  Cats will never weigh more than 30 pounds.  Therefore Falkies infinite weight dominates and we have infinity in the numerator of the fraction.  Let us assume that Falkie will walk up to 2 miles away to feed cats.  2 miles squared is 4 miles.  Infinity divided by 4 is still infinity.  When we multiply by 32 feet per second per second we still have infinity.  By these careful calculation it is now more amazing that there still are any cats around George that have not been sucked to their deaths. 

All facetiousness aside, Falkie's weight is not infinite.  Therefore, there is a specific distance that when crossed results in the death the cat.  This is similar to the event horizon of a black hole but varies with the size of the cat.  I like to call it the Kitty Demise Zone or KDZ.

I know there are more implications in this formula that I have failed to explore.  This is just my first go around so others can have some input before I publish my findings.  I will gladly offer coauthor status to anyone who wants to correct anything I have stated, expand on effects, or offer further insight into this amazing discovery.

this is truly an amazing discovery! I certainly can't discount the science. This theory has been officially peer reviewed. The only correction would be to change i'be to I've otherwise great solid science!

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I believe I'be figured out what is happening to the "missing cats".  I will go through a rigorous scientific theorem on why so many kitties have to die.  It will quickly become apparent why I carelessly mix units in the equation.  Here is a diagram of Newton's law of gravitation.  In it the Force of attraction (F1 and F2) equals the product of the two objects masses (m1 and m2) divided by the square of the distance between the objects (r),  then multiplied by the gravitational constant (G).  In cases where F is large it results in the death of kitties.

Let us assume that Falkie is represented by m1 and the poor cat is represented by m2.  By his own admission, Falkie weighs over 350 pounds.  Cats will never weigh more than 30 pounds.  Therefore Falkies infinite weight dominates and we have infinity in the numerator of the fraction.  Let us assume that Falkie will walk up to 2 miles away to feed cats.  2 miles squared is 4 miles.  Infinity divided by 4 is still infinity.  When we multiply by 32 feet per second per second we still have infinity.  By these careful calculation it is now more amazing that there still are any cats around George that have not been sucked to their deaths. 

All facetiousness aside, Falkie's weight is not infinite.  Therefore, there is a specific distance that when crossed results in the death the cat.  This is similar to the event horizon of a black hole but varies with the size of the cat.  I like to call it the Kitty Demise Zone or KDZ.

I know there are more implications in this formula that I have failed to explore.  This is just my first go around so others can have some input before I publish my findings.  I will gladly offer coauthor status to anyone who wants to correct anything I have stated, expand on effects, or offer further insight into this amazing discovery.

[Billy Joe Mulgreavey]

Ingrates.  Falkie stayed up all night to bring you riveting updates on the sitch in Dallas.  He put in just under twenty total minutes of hardcore reporting throughout the night.  That's overtime baby.  No doubt he will reward himself by sleeping in til 3:30 this afternoon. 

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Ingrates.  Falkie stayed up all night to bring you riveting updates on the sitch in Dallas.  He put in just under twenty total minutes of hardcore reporting throughout the night.  That's overtime baby.  No doubt he will reward himself by sleeping in til 3:30 this afternoon.

Yeah, that's what we need -- Senda's live coverage of the event.  Senda, get your lazy fat ass down to Oakland and get some footage of the protests there.  And be sure to offer running commentary on what you think about those awful horrible negros.  In a loud voice please so that it can be heard on the video.

[SixWeekTenure(tm)]

The Master has made an enemy from deep within the Walmart organization who has ties to the NAACP and it could lead to financial ruin, all because he reported the FACTS of the robbery of dear, sweet Kathy. I have advised him to bury all of his gold and silver bars in a secure location as a precautionary measure, because this attorney carries quite a reputation. Please understand why George was forced to remove the video in question and amend the gofundme campaign statement, removing any mention of race.

[paladin1991]

The Master has made an enemy from deep within the Walmart organization who has ties to the NAACP and it could lead to financial ruin, all because he reported the FACTS of the robbery of dear, sweet Kathy. I have advised him to bury all of his gold and silver bars in a secure location as a precautionary measure, because this attorney carries quite a reputation. Please understand why George was forced to remove the video in question and amend the gofundme campaign statement, removing any mention of race.

What?  That 'Fine Young Gentleman of Color' is threatening Senda?  Imagine that.

[Who]

Senda's younger brother Wallace dropped by Casa Senda for a two-week visit.  After reimbursing his brother for his travel expenses, Senda informed him lunch was ready.

"Hmmm, great," said Wallace.  "Are we having whole frozen chickens, partially defrosted and gently warmed in the microwave?"

"No, the churches are out of frozen whole chickens," Senda replied.  "But I have something better.  Kitty Alfredo with a mild but tantalizing mayonnaise sauce."

"Kitty Alfredo?" asked Wallace.  "What's the main ingredient?

"Never mind.  It's abundant, it's free and it doesn't have to be plucked," replied Senda.  "You'll love it."

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

The Master has made an enemy from deep within the Walmart organization who has ties to the NAACP and it could lead to financial ruin, all because he reported the FACTS of the robbery of dear, sweet Kathy. I have advised him to bury all of his gold and silver bars in a secure location as a precautionary measure, because this attorney carries quite a reputation. Please understand why George was forced to remove the video in question and amend the gofundme campaign statement, removing any mention of race.

Heh.  And located in Pittsburgh.  Nice touch.

[Inglorious Bitch]

Whatever you choose, it should be something that is either slathered in, or at least contains mayo.  Maybe her tuna salad delight?

Thanks WOTR. I think you've permanently ruined tuna salad for everyone now. 

[analog kid]

Yeah, that's what we need -- Senda's live coverage of the event.  Senda, get your lazy fat ass down to Oakland and get some footage of the protests there.  And be sure to offer running commentary on what you think about those awful horrible negros.  In a loud voice please so that it can be heard on the video.

I agree. He should get down on the street and do some real reporting, on scene. It's the only way his career is going to progress at this point.

[dipp]

The Master has made an enemy from deep within the Walmart organization who has ties to the NAACP and it could lead to financial ruin, all because he reported the FACTS of the robbery of dear, sweet Kathy. I have advised him to bury all of his gold and silver bars in a secure location as a precautionary measure, because this attorney carries quite a reputation. Please understand why George was forced to remove the video in question and amend the gofundme campaign statement, removing any mention of race.

weird. rumor had it walmart offered him a job as a sitting greeter, and  *poof!   All mention of a robbery at walmart disappeared from his post.

[akwilly]

weird. rumor had it walmart offered him a job as a sitting greeter, and  *poof!   All mention of a robbery at walmart disappeared from his post.

besides being a Walmart greeter he could be a mall Santa during the holidays.

[WOTR]

I believe I'be figured out what is happening to the "missing cats"...  Therefore Falkies infinite weight dominates and we have infinity in the numerator of the fraction.

I wish I were joking... I just picked up a book titled "A brief history of infinity- the quest to think the unthinkable" yesterday.

One of the opening lines warns against people like you and your cavalier attitude towards infinity.  It reads, "Scientist and engineers use it quite happily, because it works-but they consider it a black box, having the same relationship with it that most of us do with a computer or a mobile phone, something that does the job, even though we don't quite understand how."

It seems to me, sir, that you have just proven the point.  You have taken the concept of infinity and used it to explain the disappearance of Falkies cats.  You may not understand completely how it works... But it does.

***Come to think of it... Infinity, Black box, Shrodinger's cat- we could really build on this. I may be looking to coauthor your paper.  I propose that we explore if the cats sucked into the "cat sized" black hole created by Falkie's mass are alive or dead (and how best to observe them...)  Do you have an equation that would offer some insight into the fate of the cats once they disappear from this world?

[WOTR]

Thanks WOTR. I think you've permanently ruined tuna salad for everyone now. 

To quote Trump: I didn't start it!  DPS ruined cheeseburgers before I even thought about fish slathered in mayo...

Hey everyone, can we not use something a little more oblique while conveying the state of her South Forty? 

How about, "Kathy's cheeseburger"?

[nooryisawesome]

Senda's younger brother Wallace dropped by Casa Senda for a two-week visit.  After reimbursing his brother for his travel expenses, Senda informed him lunch was ready.

"Hmmm, great," said Wallace.  "Are we having whole frozen chickens, partially defrosted and gently warmed in the microwave?"

"No, the churches are out of frozen whole chickens," Senda replied.  "But I have something better.  Kitty Alfredo with a mild but tantalizing mayonnaise sauce."

"Kitty Alfredo?" asked Wallace.  "What's the main ingredient?

"Never mind.  It's abundant, it's free and it doesn't have to be plucked," replied Senda.  "You'll love it."

Stellar memory. Recalling Senda's theory that host shall pay for the travel expenses, actually all expenses of their guest. Maybe is it part of the house of Senda Samori Bashido code?

Didn't little Chris show up at his apartment one time and took a picture. He should demand travel expenses from Falkie.

[Who]

Senda's Cat Casserole

Cats are abundant and free.  Place a small bowl of cat food in your apartment.  Leave glass sliding door open.  A cat will eventually wander in.  The other ingredients can be obtained free at church food pantries. 

1 cat
3 cups cooked macaroni
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups french fried onions
1 can cream of chicken soup

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for about 25 minutes or until bubbly. Sprinkle with french fried onions and bake for another 5 minutes. Serve hot.

Serves 6 unsuspecting guests or one Senda.

[WOTR]

Senda's Cat Casserole

Cats are abundant and free.  Place a small bowl of cat food in your apartment.  Leave glass sliding door open.  A cat will eventually wander in.  The other ingredients can be obtained free at church food pantries. 

Your recipe sounded like too much work.  Cook this, fry that...  I would say a little salt, pepper, mustard (and, naturally mayo) and you are done.

Pictures for the illiterate among us who may require help from beginning to end.

[area51drone]

Ahem, let's not forget that George was "raped" in prison by a large contingent of black men.  All this racist reporting he's doing lately on black folk stems from that incident.

[dipp]

Ahem, let's not forget that George was "raped" in prison by a large contingent of black men.  All this racist reporting he's doing lately on black folk stems from that incident.

edit I wonder if there's one floating around from back then. surveillance maybe
THAT video, I would actually pay to see.
Video next?

[Who]

Ahem, let's not forget that George was "raped" in prison by a large contingent of black men.  All this racist reporting he's doing lately on black folk stems from that incident.

This is Senda's great uncle, Otto von Senda.  Like his famous nephew, von Senda was a military genius and entrepreneur.  He too was infuriated whenever he saw "non-caucasians" seeking medical treatment at hospital emergency rooms.



This is Senda's great grandfather, Baron Ernst von Senda.  Like his grandson, he was a successful investor and business tycoon.  One of Baron von  Senda's favorite phrases was, "She wasn't muslim but she was black."  Senda first heard this phrase while sitting on his grandfather's knee and has been repeating it ever since in his informative and educational videos.



Senda's sense of racial purity was forever burned into his soul the day he encountered three lazy Mexicans who refused to move his furniture to his upstairs apartment for him.

[JENX]

Yet he gets his facial herpes from a white woman.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Ahem, let's not forget that George was "raped" in prison by a large contingent of black men.  All this racist reporting he's doing lately on black folk stems from that incident.

It would have been jail, not prison, but it never happened.  The rape story is as phony as his "Kathy got robbed" story.  Funny thing about how every criminal in one of his stories is black.  Falkie is a goddamn racist as well as a liar.

[analog kid]

Falkie is a goddamn racist as well as a liar.

He was in good company on this forum.

[dipp]

There's a protest right there in san fran today. wheres our latest "breaking news" broadcaster?

[3OctaveFart]

I'd like George arrested, frankly.

Go on, Falkie, go out and drive that dirty Prius without a license again. To "do videos." Roll the dice.

[Who]

I'd like George arrested, frankly.

Go on, Falkie, go out and drive that dirty Prius without a license again. To "do videos." Roll the dice.

[analog kid]

I'd like George arrested, frankly.

Go on, Falkie, go out and drive that dirty Prius without a license again. To "do videos." Roll the dice.

https://i.imgur.com/R0dxnh9.gifv

[Who]

Good morning Senda.  Would you like to be more popular?  Of course you would.  Follow this advice and I guarantee you will be more popular.

Delete your existing YouTube videos and don't make any more.  Do not post on discussion forums.  Cancel your internet service. 

[SredniVashtar]

I'd like George arrested, frankly.

"How ya doin', this is the guy from San Quentin."

I imagine he will have a plentiful supply of kielbasas in the slammer, although he might object to the way they are administered.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

"How ya doin', this is the guy from San Quentin."

"HOWYAdoin, this is GEORGE SENDA the GUY FROM SAN Quentin."

And I'm DigitalPigSnuggler.  Accept no limey substitutes from the land of rum, sodomy, and the lash.