Wondering if anyone else had been through this

[ponyboysunset]

I am a woman that is true. And thanks again all. I have been mostly solid today. Stupid things remind me of her. But she had attempted no contact and after I give her her things back I don't ever have to talk to her again.

[Yorkshire pud]

I am a woman that is true. And thanks again all. I have been mostly solid today. Stupid things remind me of her. But she had attempted no contact and after I give her her things back I don't ever have to talk to her again.

Good for you girl! 

[starrmtn001]

Well since misogyny is defined as the hatred of women, im pretty interested in where you see me say that I have that toward women. You describe the properties of fire objectively (burns you, keeps you warm, ruins your house if you don't control it) without ascribing emotions to any of those qualities. If you burn your hand on fire, you generally don't developed "hatred" of fire, but you do recognize that it burns.

But more importantly, literally any serious feminist would call what you are saying misogynistic. Your (implied) notion that women are sex-drive-less, loyal, man-serving creatures who will love another individual when it is not in their best interest is a major issue of modern day feminism. So you can put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Wake up, old man, you are out of date. Move over, this is the new stuff. These days people are starting to wake up and face reality for what it is. No more of your shitty old fashioned "misogynistic" values of loyalty and devotion.

OP needs to wake the fuck up and realize he has been granted the gift of freedom and autonomy and that his woman was a whore because it is a woman's nature to be a whore.

You think its misogynistic? Go down to a Slutwalk and tell the feminists there that women are not whores, or thst they should be devotrd to a man, they will fuckin hang you bro.

Apologies for any bad grammatical errors that may have been in there, I am on my phone.

Edit - also, im not a fuckin feminist by any means, just saying that you are a fuckin retard and if you want to white knight for these people they wouldn't even appreciate it anyhow.

You need help.  I'm serious.  At first, I was pissed at you.  After reading this, I feel your anger, and ill will.  It has saturated your very soul.  You are in a great deal of pain and I hope you can make yourself to do something about it.

[PathoJen]

I'm so sorry Ponyboysunset! I know you must feel lost and confused but you will move on and you will persevere. Things happen for a reason and I know people who have just lost the love of their lives hate to hear that, but they really do.
One thing that is bound to happen though, it never fails, right when you are feeling better and moving on the dumper always ALWAYS tries to get back together. But keep in mind, if she did it once she might do it again. Xoxoxo

[ponyboysunset]

Thanks Pathogen. Everyone tells me she will come back at least once. After hearing her say she did not love me anymore I find that hard to believe. But since she lied to me once, who knows. I know I miss her and I am mourning the good times. I hate that I am still crying. But this helps. Feels good to talk about it. I have friends here but I am just trying to get more opinions. All of my friends say she will be back. Who knows.

[PathoJen]

Thanks Pathogen. Everyone tells me she will come back at least once. After hearing her say she did not love me anymore I find that hard to believe. But since she lied to me once, who knows. I know I miss her and I am mourning the good times. I hate that I am still crying. But this helps. Feels good to talk about it. I have friends here but I am just trying to get more opinions. All of my friends say she will be back. Who knows.

Sometimes they say they don't love you anymore to make it easier for them to walk away.

[Laurakinch]

Hello all,

I am curious if anyone else on this board has been through this. My gf dumped this weekend out of the blue. Two weeks ago she was telling all of our friends we were going to marry. She called me her soul mate and angel and said she had never felt this way about anyone. As recent as two weeks ago she was saying all this. Now you should know she is an alcoholic and I am on recovery. We started to fight about her drinking. She was going to work drunk as she has gotten laid off. She was driving me around in a car with open alcohol and the only way I found out was that I asked for a sip of her juice and she said I couldn't have any as she knows I don't drink. Anyway fast forward we were supposed to go on vacation together a week from tomorrow. She went up north to visit her Mom and get supplies. She was sober two days and broke it off with me via text after I questioned her not returning my text or saying I love you anymore. When I called and asked why she said I don't love you anymore and do not think I ever did. My question to all of you is how can someone switch gears so fast? You bellgabbers are smart, maybe there is something I am missing. I am devastated. I believed her and basically was cast aside like the last two months never happened. She pushed for us to live together not me. Thanks all.

Hey PBS, check your PMs.

[PathoJen]

I wonder if being with her mom had anything to do with her decision. The timing is suspicious.

[Art_s Farts]

Thanks Pathogen. Everyone tells me she will come back at least once. After hearing her say she did not love me anymore I find that hard to believe. But since she lied to me once, who knows. I know I miss her and I am mourning the good times. I hate that I am still crying. But this helps. Feels good to talk about it. I have friends here but I am just trying to get more opinions. All of my friends say she will be back. Who knows.

I am sorry for the pain you are going through. I am the furthest thing from a counselor or relationship expert, but I agree she will be back. The bad news is that she will just do it again. I have seen it happen too many times to good people. I do hope you find happiness.

[starrmtn001]

Thanks Pathogen. Everyone tells me she will come back at least once. After hearing her say she did not love me anymore I find that hard to believe. But since she lied to me once, who knows. I know I miss her and I am mourning the good times. I hate that I am still crying. But this helps. Feels good to talk about it. I have friends here but I am just trying to get more opinions. All of my friends say she will be back. Who knows.

The empty space hurts like hell, I know quite well.  But the space has to be empty in order to be filled by someone who truly loves, honors, and respects you.  You are, indeed, a spark of life.  You generate happiness, even through the laptops and computers here at BellGab.  That empty space won't remain empty for long.  Please take comfort in knowing what a really likable person you are.

[gnooryblows]

You sort of hang by your own petard; PBS is a woman.  :


After that your rant is pointless and based on nothing more than your fetid imagination, although I'm sure you have kindred spirits with Senda and QK.

PBS can be a woman or a man, its not relevant. Reality remains. I literally dont understand why anybody would presume that because PBS is a woman it somehow changes my thoughts on the nature of women. This is faulty logic.

Also, my advice to her as an individual still stands. Her partner was only acting according to her nature and now its time for PBS to act according to her nature too. Time for her to go out and be a whore and enjoy herself.

[gnooryblows]

You need help.  I'm serious.  At first, I was pissed at you.  After reading this, I feel your anger, and ill will.  It has saturated your very soul.  You are in a great deal of pain and I hope you can make yourself to do something about it.

umm, sure, facts and objectivity = mental illness, obviously

[starrmtn001]

umm, sure, facts and objectivity = mental illness, obviously

This is ponyboysunset's thread.  Stop trying to derail it!!!  And, oh yeah . . . reported.

Ponyboysunset.  Please forgive me for not catching this sooner and for my participation in it.

[albrecht]

I would imagine a homosexual relationship is pretty much, mechanics aside, just other relationships and things like alcoholism can really screw things up. It, like other addictions (gambling, drugs, etc), a very selfish disease, though the person might not see themselves acting as such. Something that has to be considered is, though rarely possible, it is usually not a good idea to marry someone to change them- or to think they will change once they get married (regardless of orientation.) And, often worse, when a recovered or abstaining  'whatever' (alcoholic, junkie, gambler, etc) stays in a relationship, or gets married, to one who hasn't stopped using (or even who has stopped, sadly.)

Also permanent commitment (marriage) can also "scare" people; regardless of gender or orientation! Especially when something talked about as an abstract starts to become a reality.

I also would imagine that the homosexual relationship also faces more extra-pressure, especially from family. But we all know of even "normal" relationships in which the parents, relatives, etc don't like it or try to manipulate, or undermine, it. I could see it being even worse if a homosexual relationship. Even if society/media/politics has become more accepting when it becomes "personal" to a family/person the attitudes might not have changes as much as the "polls" or media tells us.

Good luck and take the advice of others above. Stay busy! Work. Don't drink, even just a small one. Hang out with friends and family. Listen to Art. Exercise. etc.

[Ms. C]

I would imagine a homosexual relationship is pretty much, mechanics aside, just other relationships and things like alcoholism can really screw things up. It, like other addictions (gambling, drugs, etc), a very selfish disease, though the person might not see themselves acting as such. Something that has to be considered is, though rarely possible, it is usually not a good idea to marry someone to change them- or to think they will change once they get married (regardless of orientation.) And, often worse, when a recovered or abstaining  'whatever' (alcoholic, junkie, gambler, etc) stays in a relationship, or gets married, to one who hasn't stopped using (or even who has stopped, sadly.)

Also permanent commitment (marriage) can also "scare" people; regardless of gender or orientation! Especially when something talked about as an abstract starts to become a reality.

I also would imagine that the homosexual relationship also faces more extra-pressure, especially from family. But we all know of even "normal" relationships in which the parents, relatives, etc don't like it or try to manipulate, or undermine, it. I could see it being even worse if a homosexual relationship. Even if society/media/politics has become more accepting when it becomes "personal" to a family/person the attitudes might not have changes as much as the "polls" or media tells us.

Good luck and take the advice of others above. Stay busy! Work. Don't drink, even just a small one. Hang out with friends and family. Listen to Art. Exercise. etc.

What a conscientious post, Albrecht ... I agree with you completely on these co-dependent relationship issues.

[FightTheFuture]

I am a woman that is true. And thanks again all. I have been mostly solid today. Stupid things remind me of her. But she had attempted no contact and after I give her her things back I don't ever have to talk to her again.

Sorry, PBS; I thought you were a male. However, whatI said still applies. The fact is, when there is substance abuse built into the foundation of any relationship, it is inherently unstable and will fail. That's just a fact. God speed.

[Herakles]

Hello all,

I am curious if anyone else on this board has been through this. My gf dumped this weekend out of the blue. Two weeks ago she was telling all of our friends we were going to marry. She called me her soul mate and angel and said she had never felt this way about anyone. As recent as two weeks ago she was saying all this. Now you should know she is an alcoholic and I am on recovery. We started to fight about her drinking. She was going to work drunk as she has gotten laid off. She was driving me around in a car with open alcohol and the only way I found out was that I asked for a sip of her juice and she said I couldn't have any as she knows I don't drink. Anyway fast forward we were supposed to go on vacation together a week from tomorrow. She went up north to visit her Mom and get supplies. She was sober two days and broke it off with me via text after I questioned her not returning my text or saying I love you anymore. When I called and asked why she said I don't love you anymore and do not think I ever did. My question to all of you is how can someone switch gears so fast? You bellgabbers are smart, maybe there is something I am missing. I am devastated. I believed her and basically was cast aside like the last two months never happened. She pushed for us to live together not me. Thanks all.

Sorry to hear about what has happened to you. My thoughts on this would be that trying to have a long term relationship with someone who is still drinking, and someone who is in recovery, is destined to end badly. No matter how upset you are at the moment, she may of saved you a whole lot of heartache further down the road. I think there is also a positive in all of this as well, the fact she has been openly drinking around you and  that you are in recovery, but have resisted the temptation, is of great credit to you, seriously that in itself is impressive, and clearly shows that you have made great progress, don't in any way let this deter you from staying on this path. A few months from now you may look back on this and realise that she has given you an opportunity to not only find the right person for you but also continue your recovery successfully.

[gnooryblows]

This is ponyboysunset's thread.  Stop trying to derail it!!!  And, oh yeah . . . reported.

Ponyboysunset.  Please forgive me for not catching this sooner and for my participation in it.

you sure showed me, tattletale.

and yeah shame on me for derailing a thread by providing a direct, concise and objective answer to OP.

also, how nutless do you have to be to literally beg forgiveness for a woman for the behavior of the guy you are trying to whiteknight against towards her.

and i mean, i havent even done anything other than state objective realities about men and women, and i even provided legitimate sources for some of what i cited. i guess the daily mail are misogynists too right?

you are nuts dude. you are in another dimension.

[Heather Wade]

you sure showed me, tattletale.

and yeah shame on me for derailing a thread by providing a direct, concise and objective answer to OP.

also, how nutless do you have to be to literally beg forgiveness for a woman for the behavior of the guy you are trying to whiteknight against towards her.

and i mean, i havent even done anything other than state objective realities about men and women, and i even provided legitimate sources for some of what i cited. i guess the daily mail are misogynists too right?

you are nuts dude. you are in another dimension.

You are in another dimension known as your head up where the sun doesn't shine, troll. 

[starrmtn001]

you sure showed me, tattletale.

and yeah shame on me for derailing a thread by providing a direct, concise and objective answer to OP.

also, how nutless do you have to be to literally beg forgiveness for a woman for the behavior of the guy you are trying to whiteknight against towards her.

and i mean, i havent even done anything other than state objective realities about men and women, and i even provided legitimate sources for some of what i cited. i guess the daily mail are misogynists too right?

you are nuts dude. you are in another dimension.

I'm a woman you dink.  Get off this thread!!!

[gnooryblows]

I'm a woman you dink.  Get off this thread!!!

ok then you're not whiteknighting, you're henhousing. whats the difference.

You are in another dimension known as your head up where the sun doesn't shine, troll. 

yeah ok i'm the troll but you are the one who comes on to the thread just to tell me to stick my head up my ass.

dont you people know anything about evo-psych? men and women have realities to their biologies that do not line up to what the socially constructed ideas of 'normal' and 'acceptable' and 'right' are. period. simple as that. you dont find me deconstructing these things and examining them and then accuse me of being all of this horrible stuff for just sharing my objective, unbrainwashed view of things. you might as well just call me a fucking witch and try to burn me at the stake. you might as well just judge me guilty of heresy. you might as well just recognize that you guys are playing into the blatant stereotype of mob mentality going after something that is different, or perceived as threatening just because they dont understand it.

sorry, but its an old-fashioned, old-people view that women are these sexless little sugar and spice perfect creatures that are going to be loyal and blah blah. we are all human and women want dick. plain and simple. they want lots of it. they want it all the time and they want whatever one they want.

if OP happens to be lesbian, then replace 'dick' with 'taco' or whatever and recognize its still the same. people watch out for themselves and follow their own biological drives, just like any animal. i'm sorry. there's no need for you weak minded fools to be throwing hissy bitch fits just because im talking about stuff that you dont understand and stuff that does not support your delusional, myopic view of humankind.

deep down women are whores and men just want to fuck em' and chuck em' and not deal with any of the other BS, thats just the simple biological reality. everything else is just conditioned into us. some of it may even be conditioned into our genetics, so the feelings are partly genuine. but deep down, beneath that, the lizard brain lives and breathes and it rules the roost ultimately. you call it hate for examining human nature, but i call your shameless subversion and denial of the truth the real hatred.

if you dont hate humanity, you will accept that women are whores and men only want to have sex with them and then chuck them by the wayside and then find something worthwhile and amiable within that reality, because tahts the reality we all have to live in.

hypocrites.

[Heather Wade]

Seething hate for all that is good and true...

Why do you hate Art Bell?

[gnooryblows]

Why do you hate Art Bell?

what? dude are you serious? you are making up quotes from me now that i never even said? and you call me a troll? wtf dude.

and for the record for anyone that sees that, no i dont hate Art Bell one bit, or i wouldnt be frequenting his fan forum.

moron.

[onan]

This thread started out with a simple question of, Has anyone else had this type of experience? The post also reported confusion with the statements of one person compared to that person's behaviors.

Lots of posts then suggesting various types of support. Except for the posts that took the topic to all women are whores and all men are rapists. I can't tell you how helpful that was... because it wasn't.

Two completely different subjects. The first really just asking for thoughts to help with confusing behavior of someone that is, by report an alcoholic. The second an exposition on how base humanity is. With the addendum that those that disagree are hypocrites. Oh goody.

PBS, what you choose to learn about this recently ended relationship and how you choose to deal with that information is entirely up to you. I strongly suggest you purchase the book I mentioned and read it cover to cover. Again that is your decision.

[gnooryblows]

just so everyone knows, this person redacted just totally made up a quote from me for some reason that i literally never said. for all of the talk about libel ive heard on this board, this is LITERAL libel but i'm sure nobody will make as big a deal of it as they do when they want to pretend its me doing it.

thats real fuckin low dude. you should be ashamed of yourself. you just made an enemy out of somebody who had nothing against you before, for whatever thats worth......i know its not much......but for what it is worth.......thats what you did.

[Heather Wade]

what? dude are you serious? you are making up quotes from me now that i never even said? and you call me a troll? wtf dude.

and for the record for anyone that sees that, no i dont hate Art Bell one bit, or i wouldnt be frequenting his fan forum.

moron.

Just shortening your post for brevity's sake.  Messing with you because you are where you don't belong and these boots are made for walking.  Your argument is invalid.

[gnooryblows]

Just shortening it for brevity's sake.  Messing with you because you are where you don't belong and these boots are made for walking.  Your argument is invalid.

no. just no. thats complete bullshit and anybody who reads this thread will know it without problem.

[onan]

Well, why do you hate Art bell?

[gnooryblows]

Well, why do you hate Art bell?

blow me, douche. you know i don't and that i never said that.

[onan]

blow me, douche. you know i don't and that i never said that.

I thought I read you did hate Art Bell.