Anyone here know law?

Delphi · April 14, 2015, 09:03:17 AM

Hello all, I have a question, my wife made a fake claim that I pushed her and she got a temporary restraining order, she also put my daughters name on it so I cant even see my baby til I go to court..

But my question is, if I have a witness stating that none of this even happened, will it do me any good?

I appreciate any help on this and thank you in advance

Juan · April 14, 2015, 09:16:53 AM

If your witness will come to court, or sit for a deposition, it may do good. It depends on whether the judge believes the witness.

aldousburbank · April 14, 2015, 09:28:26 AM

I don't know law but I know love. This sucks but whatever legal splooge occurs or not, all I can say is it's harder to be the people you'll need to be for your kid with this junk going on. It's a lot easier to just argue about shit and all you end up doing is feeding the lawyers. Better to feed the kid. I know this doesn't help but I hope the priorities sort themselves soon for all your sakes.

Delphi · April 14, 2015, 09:50:22 AM

Thanks for the input you guys... And I have done everything In my power to be civil.. But she just wont have it.. . She put my daughter on their because she knows. My baby loves me and I love her to death and it hurts me

albrecht · April 14, 2015, 11:42:49 AM

My 2 cents, is (check your local laws) to record every meeting, conversation, etc and document everything with your wife and probably get a lawyer. And keep your emotions as in check as much as possible but hope you record her flying off the handle, making false accusations, lying, etc. I know it sucks and costs $ but fighting this kind of stuff, or going through a divorce or child custody hearing, without one is really hard. You need someone taking your side that doesn't have emotional involvement and knows how the law and system operates (I won't say "works.")

MV/Liberace! · April 14, 2015, 12:25:04 PM

i'm told falkie went to law school.

in all seriousness, this sounds like a nightmare. good luck.

PB the Deplorable · April 14, 2015, 01:05:41 PM

Quote from: Delphi on April 14, 2015, 09:03:17 AM
Hello all, I have a question, my wife made a fake claim that I pushed her and she got a temporary restraining order, she also put my daughters name on it so I cant even see my baby til I go to court..

But my question is, if I have a witness stating that none of this even happened, will it do me any good?

I appreciate any help on this and thank you in advance

I'm not a lawyer, I don't much care for lawyers, but my advise is to go see one that specializes in family law immediately (I recommend a very tough, very experienced, female attorney).

Treat this like the threat that it is, you need to protect yourself.

cweb · April 14, 2015, 01:12:59 PM

I do not have a proper legal education, but I would recommend keeping record of communications with your wife.

Someone I know was having difficulty getting visitation rights for his kids, until the judge heard a phone message their mother left where she was cursing and threatening him and his family. Changed the whole tune.

Not sure what your law is, but in my state (New York) only one party must consent to phone recording for it to be admissible in court. So if someone calls me and I record it, totally usable.

Best of luck in your situation.

VegasI15 · April 14, 2015, 02:02:48 PM

Quote from: Delphi on April 14, 2015, 09:03:17 AM
Hello all, I have a question, my wife made a fake claim that I pushed her and she got a temporary restraining order, she also put my daughters name on it so I cant even see my baby til I go to court..

But my question is, if I have a witness stating that none of this even happened, will it do me any good?

I appreciate any help on this and thank you in advance

You need a lawyer. I don't mean to scare you here, but ex's that use their kids as pawns, are some of the most irrational people I know of. (unfortunately from personal experience) So get a damn good family law attorney ASAP! Or you may end up not seeing your kids for a long time.

area51drone · April 14, 2015, 09:13:37 PM

I'm not an attorney, but I have had friends who have gone through divorces. Get a lawyer immediately. Do not move out, unless the police or restraining order is making you. I know it's going to cost for an attorney, but you want to keep visitation with your kid. As others said, start recording everything - all phone calls, all meetings, etc. Also, right now, sit down and start making a list of everything that she may have done to harm the child. I guarantee you your wife is going to do the same. Make a list of her past crimes if she has committed any that have led to arrests or convictions. If you know something that is extremely damaging to her reputation or her family's reputation, now is the time to have that in your hand of cards. (ie maybe her mother is dealing crack, or her uncle molested her 15 years ago and never got caught, or something) Play this to your advantage if you can.

Do NOT do anything to break the restraining order. If you do, you are going to be in bigger trouble and it will look very unfavorably on you in court. This means you do not call her, text her, bother her friends or relatives what so ever. If she approaches you (physically, email, text or call), make sure you absolutely have a record of it so that you can show she approached you and not the other way around.

Try to figure out a way where you can be calm but rile your wife up - in court preferred, but maybe even over a recorded phone call or taped interaction (if you are allowed, with your attorney). If you can show that you are being reasonable and she's getting crazy, that will help your case. If you can get anyone to say good things about you, especially her relatives, the better. If you can get her relatives to say negative things about her, that's good too. So think about what has been said and who knows what (friends, her relatives, your relatives, neighbors, etc) and write it down so you can bring it up later. Neighbors who are not friends or relatives of either of you are probably the best witnesses as long as they are credible. Organization of all thoughts is going to be key and will help your attorney. Make a list of all contacts and their numbers so that they're handy for the attorney if these people need to be deposed.

When appearing before a judge, make absolutely sure you are very calm and use appropriate manners in court, yes your honor, etc. Dress nicely and appropriately - a suit is probably preferred, but definitely no jeans or t-shirts - slacks and a button up shirt are a minimum. If you have facial hair, unless it makes you look older and wiser, shave it off. Goatees, sideburns, beards etc don't help you. Get rid of piercings, and cover up tattoos if you have any that are visible. Cut your hair so that you look like you're about to take out the judge's daughter and you want to make the best impression. You want to look the part of a great person who is trustworthy just by looking at them.

Your attorney may have other advice for you, but make absolutely certain that you appear in every way to be a good person.

Last of all, good luck, you are going to need it. The one thing that might help you rest your mind a bit is that this is not the first time a woman has falsely accused a man of hitting her. Look around the web and see what other people have done in your situation, they might have something useful to say. You might even want to call a nearby police station and inquire about this sort of thing. Don't call yours though.

paladin1991 · April 14, 2015, 09:27:14 PM

Quote from: Paper*Boy on April 14, 2015, 01:05:41 PM
I'm not a lawyer, I don't much care for lawyers, but my advise is to go see one that specializes in family law immediately (I recommend a very tough, very experienced, female attorney).

Treat this like the threat that it is, you need to protect yourself.

Very important in your considerations. Female? Yeah, l hate to say it, but sometimes, the unstated is a deciding factor. A female attorney, a pitbull in a skirt, yeah. Might make the difference where right and wrong are flavored by pain.

area51drone · April 14, 2015, 09:31:29 PM

Quote from: paladin1991 on April 14, 2015, 09:27:14 PM
Very important in your considerations. Female? Yeah, l hate to say it, but sometimes, the unstated is a deciding factor. A female attorney, a pitbull in a skirt, yeah. Might make the difference where right and wrong are flavored by pain.

Agreed, go female if you can and she's good. Don't just go to one attorney either, interview a number of them and ask how they will handle the situation or have handled similar situations in the past. You want someone with a track record of winning, and best if they have handled false beating claims and won.

PB the Deplorable · April 15, 2015, 08:33:28 AM

Quote from: paladin1991 on April 14, 2015, 09:27:14 PM
Very important in your considerations. Female?...

In court he does NOT want it to look like 2 guys (him and a male atty) attacking a poor victimized woman

paladin1991 · April 15, 2015, 10:19:02 AM

Quote from: Paper*Boy on April 15, 2015, 08:33:28 AM
In court he does NOT want it to look like 2 guys (him and a male atty) attacking a poor victimized woman

Correct, Paper*Boy. My FULL post, not the abbreviated one you posted, was in full agreement with you.

area51drone · April 15, 2015, 11:01:41 AM

BTW, Delphi.. keep us informed on what happens. This is an interesting story.

Delphi · April 15, 2015, 04:32:28 PM

Thank you guys soooo much for all your help and support. . It means alot and I really need it right now. .

I just got back from consulting with all 3 divorce attorneys in my County (a lawyer/family friend said. If. I consulted with all of them then she cant use them because of conflict of intrest.. She. Will have to pay extra to bring 1 in)

But I paid the best known and friend of the judge lawyer. . Cost me 3k. . I filed for divorce and asked for. Split custody.. She should get served by Friday.. And he thinks we can get the RO thrown out.. things are seeming to start and move.

PB the Deplorable · April 15, 2015, 06:52:42 PM

Quote from: Delphi on April 15, 2015, 04:32:28 PM
Thank you guys soooo much for all your help and support. . It means alot and I really need it right now. .

I just got back from consulting with all 3 divorce attorneys in my County (a lawyer/family friend said. If. I consulted with all of them then she cant use them because of conflict of intrest.. She. Will have to pay extra to bring 1 in)

But I paid the best known and friend of the judge lawyer. . Cost me 3k. . I filed for divorce and asked for. Split custody.. She should get served by Friday.. And he thinks we can get the RO thrown out.. things are seeming to start and move.

Go on offense and ask for full custody and child support. Try to prove her to be unfit. 'Settle' for joint custody.

bateman · April 15, 2015, 06:55:41 PM

Reason #40238523 why I mutter to myself like Rain Main "don't get married don't get married don't get married."

Heather Wade · April 15, 2015, 06:58:36 PM

I am far from a lawyer, but from my experience working in bail, I can tell you the cops get their panties all in a twist as soon as the words "domestic violence" are uttered. They will go after the one who is emotional. Keep your cool at any cost as you navigate this disaster, and you will gain points in your favor.

The cops & the courts see these situations often & do know how to spot a chick crying wolf. Be on your best behavior, and I mean to the letter. Dress respectably, use proper English, hell, wear glasses if it will make you look smarter. It is sad, but true that we are all judged based on our appearance, and even sadder, but truer that this is how those in law enforcement/ courts profile us. Keep that in mind.

If you are a stand-up dude (which you seem to be), document everything, keep your cool, show to the court that you are responsible and can care for your daughter, you will make it through this.

The wife may end up looking pretty stupid in the end. I promise not to tell anyone that you are a BellGabber.

PB the Deplorable · April 15, 2015, 07:01:51 PM

Quote from: (Redacted) on April 15, 2015, 06:58:36 PM
... wear glasses if it will make you look smarter...

Good advice for anyone

Heather Wade · April 15, 2015, 07:03:09 PM

Quote from: bateman on April 15, 2015, 06:55:41 PM
Reason #40238523 why I mutter to myself like Rain Main "don't get married don't get married don't get married."

Good lord, no kidding, man. That, and the screaming children I hear everyday, around this fine establishment I live in, are flawless fucking birth control. Marriage may work for some, but not for me. Definitely not for me.

bateman · April 15, 2015, 07:10:14 PM

Quote from: (Redacted) on April 15, 2015, 06:58:36 PM
The cops & the courts see these situations often & do know how to spot a chick crying wolf. Be on your best behavior, and I mean to the letter. Dress respectably, use proper English, hell, wear glasses if it will make you look smarter. It is sad, but true that we are all judged based on our appearance, and even sadder, but truer that this is how those in law enforcement/ courts profile us. Keep that in mind.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

Delphi · April 15, 2015, 07:10:45 PM

Thank you so so much redacted, that helps alot.. As well as everyone else's comments... I will take all your advice into account.. I need to get a fresh hair cut and I guess ill shave my facial hair... And Haha I laughed a ton about the Bell gabber comment.. Thank you so much

Heather Wade · April 15, 2015, 07:34:52 PM

Quote from: Delphi on April 15, 2015, 07:10:45 PM
Thank you so so much redacted, that helps alot.. As well as everyone else's comments... I will take all your advice into account.. I need to get a fresh hair cut and I guess ill shave my facial hair... And Haha I laughed a ton about the Bell gabber comment.. Thank you so much

Yes, clean up, keep cool, and document. Document any interaction, however minute. You need dates, times, locations, and what happened since this thing started, and going forward until it is over. Yes, that will rub sandpaper up your ass for a while, but it has become your new currency to buy your way out of this shit. (Video, photos, receipts, phone records, texts, emails... save everything in chronological order and create a timeline.)

Glad I gave you a good laugh! You've always seemed like a cool dude. We aren't lawyers here, but I hope our thoughts have helped in some way.

Quote from: bateman on April 15, 2015, 07:10:14 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect

^ This, exactly. Study this ^

The Neverender · April 15, 2015, 07:46:18 PM

Get an attorney. One that you trust. If you can't afford your own, the public defender or assigned counsel are usually very competent, and not like they are often portrayed in tv and movies. Don't try to fix this yourself, use your attorney. It's common to want to handle things in what you think is the quickest and most direct way, but you likely are not aware of all the ramifications of your actions. Things you say on the record in court can be used against you, how the case gets resolved can have far reaching implications, especially with a child involved. You will be asked if you want a lawyer, the answer to that is always "Yes." Don't break the restraining order, don't let yourself be baited into breaking it, even with the best intentions, that will result in an additional charge.

It sucks, but you have to work through the process. Use your lawyer, make sure he knows about your witness. A sworn statement by a witness is something that your lawyer can bring to the prosecutor.

Good luck

Roswells, Art · April 15, 2015, 09:38:52 PM

Quote from: bateman on April 15, 2015, 06:55:41 PM
Reason #40238523 why I mutter to myself like Rain Main "don't get married don't get married don't get married."

You're really crushing my dreams here.

bateman · April 15, 2015, 10:30:32 PM

Quote from: Roswells, Art on April 15, 2015, 09:38:52 PM
You're really crushing my dreams here.

If you actually look like (or are) Anna Faris I will reconsider.

ksm32 · April 16, 2015, 07:09:23 PM

I hope you see your daughter VERY soon

Tomorrows Friday, have some drinks with a friend and blow off some steam perhaps.

Delphi · April 17, 2015, 10:03:40 AM

Thank you again redacted you are a great help as well as everyone else! I am going to try and blow some steam off today.. Hoping to get off work early..

P.S - just a little update, my. Daughters mother (dont even want to say wife) contacted me and said my daughter has been crying for me and she wants to meet up where no one can see us or will know so my daughter can see me... I want to see her soooo bad but is all my ex would have to do is call the cops and boot I in jail and it will prolong the time until I get to see her. . I dont k of what to do.. This has me crying like a baby.. I want to see my little girl but im afraid to go near them. ..

Please someone set me straight

onan · April 17, 2015, 10:09:27 AM

Quote from: Delphi on April 17, 2015, 10:03:40 AM
Thank you again redacted you are a great help as well as everyone else! I am going to try and blow some steam off today.. Hoping to get off work early..

P.S - just a little update, my. Daughters mother (dont even want to say wife) contacted me and said my daughter has been crying for me and she wants to meet up where no one can see us or will know so my daughter can see me... I want to see her soooo bad but is all my ex would have to do is call the cops and boot I in jail and it will prolong the time until I get to see her. . I dont k of what to do.. This has me crying like a baby.. I want to see my little girl but im afraid to go near them. ..

Please someone set me straight

have her put it in writing and signed.