George Noory Facts

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Everyone knows Chuck Norris facts such as:

There's never been a street named Chuck Norris because nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.  You pick up the wrong phone.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.


I'm just wondering... what are some George Noory facts?  I'll start.

Air flows out of a vacuum into George Noory.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

George Noory once sucked so much he ripped a trans-dimensional portal into the fabric of space-time.  He asked it how it first became interested in becoming a portal.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

George Noory can burn his mouth eating soft ice cream.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

George Noory's moustache once shaved off its George Noory and grew back a new one.  It didn't help.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

George Noory got his first radio broadcasting job at 19.  It didn't go so well though.  He was told there was already a Mike in the studio so he turned around and went home.

[pate]

George Noory once asked Chuck Norris to be on C2CAM, it pissed Norris off so much that he roundhouse kicked George in the moustache hole so hard that George sucked ever since (and due to the mindbending power of Norris ever before too).

Note: when this happened Noory mispronounced the word "Ow"

[cweb]

George Noory "gets it."

[ACE of CLUBS]

George once walked into a bar. He took off his hat ........... a huge toad was sitting on the top of George's head !
Astonished, the bartender blurted out .......  "how the fuck did you get that .... ?
The toad answered .......   "it all started as a wart on my ass ....... "

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

George Noory's moustache once shaved off its George Noory and grew back a new one.  It didn't help.

[Dateline]

Noory made the comment to Howard Bloom, that he wanted to talk to him about his take on world events this weekend, but to save money, he had him on last evening as a first-hour guest.

How cheap is Noory?  Noory is so cheap that when he asks a women out on for a date, he hands her a snack-pack of fig newtons, and then walks away. 

[zeebo]

George Noory's mind defeated the power of the Big Bang by not comprehending it.

[Major Ed Damien]

One time, George Noory's dyed wig and mustache dyed the rest of George Noory, and he became dark enough to get beaten up by a cop in St. Louis.

And George Noory started a riot.

[Major Ed Damien]

George Noory doesn't mangle the English language.

The English language doesn't know how to speak George Noory.

[zeebo]

George Noory doesn't need Carnivora.  His brain, having no other function, produces it naturally.

[Major Ed Damien]

Coincidences don't exist because of George Noory.

[Major Ed Damien]

There's more abiotic oil in George's dyed mustache than there is in Canada.

[Major Ed Damien]

A lobotomy was once performed on George Noory, and even it underperformed.

[coaster]

Noory was nearly kidnapped in Mexico. Once they knew who he was and what he did for a living, they let him go figuring they would not get the ransom money.

[Major Ed Damien]

One day at the circus, a car full of fearful clowns saw George Noory in the audience, and they crashed into the clown directing traffic. 

[Major Ed Damien]

By the year 2026, all Ouija board sales -- global and domestic -- will be prohibited, thanks to the efforts of one lone gibbering fool:  George Noory.

[Major Ed Damien]

George could never really get anything started to "protect the grid," so he began a new campaign to turn off the sun.

[Major Ed Damien]

Using the same technology seen in the movie "Fantastic Voyage," George and a team of scientists shrank themselves small enough to enter a hot, microwaved pizza roll which unfortunately ate them.

[zeebo]

George Noory does not fear psychic vampires.  Whenever they sample his psyche, the taste is so bland they wander off in boredom.

[Heather Wade]

George wonders if we were all mean babies.

[Major Ed Damien]

George Noory doesn't read books because they have nothing to say to him.

[Major Ed Damien]

Thanks to his cheerful support of religious fanatics all over the globe, George Noory will one day win the Nobel Prize for War.

[Major Ed Damien]

One day, while trimming his mustache, George bit off half his tongue.  Doctors successfully grafted the head of his penis onto the remainder, but his love life remained significantly unimproved.

[pate]

Noory was nearly kidnapped in Mexico. Once they knew who he was and what he did for a living, they let him go figuring they would not get the ransom money.

IgNoory say:  I pay in suck, deal in such this you pay!  Paint suckhole on forehead for .15?/day!

I say listen to static.  Send check me!

[Major Ed Damien]

George Noory announced the release of a Christmas CD, and Santa immediately announced a boycott of the United States.

[Major Ed Damien]

Charles Manson proposed marriage to George Noory.