does being a bad person make me a bad person?

[gnooryblows]

I have no human emotions such as empathy, or kindness, or love. I feel horrible dirty or disgusting when I do something nice for someone or someone does something nice for me. I have zero use for people emotionally. I can watch bad things happen to people and not feel a shred of emotion or pity. I dont love women. I dont love men. I dont love friends. I dont love family.
I suffered a lifetime of abuse, being sexually raped anally as a child and tortured emotionally (sometimes physically) by my parents. Theres more too, much more that I dont feel like or have the time to go into detail on the internet.
I have no friends and dont want them. My life consists of me nocturnally stalking the streets and picking trash then selling it on the internet. If anybody tells me what to do it makes me want to hurt them. rather than get a job, I would go live in the woods and hunt/gather my own food and have done this in the past so I am very good with my primitive survivalism skills.
When I share my views people invariable sneer in disgust at me (see celebrity deaths thread for bellgab example) and often wish or threaten physical harm upon me.
I think that humans are ants, stupid dumb animals not worthy of the air they breathe.
Does this make me a "bad person"? does that even mean anything? I dont even know why im sharing this here, I think im more curious about what people will say.
edit: dont love friends

[b_dubb]

yes

[aldousburbank]

I think that humans are ants, stupid dumb animals not worthy of the air they breathe.

I was with you until you had to go and fucking diss my ant brothers and sisters. We own the land bro, so you and your self-loathing starbucks receptacle friends watch your little asses at your next picnic. Seen? 

[Kelt]

Are we sharing stories tonight?

I used to drive strippers around on a weekend, and look out for them when they were getting their clothes off.  I was essentially being paid to watch chicks undress in a provocative manner and, when called upon, to smash in the faces of drunks who got too touchy with the girls.

I'm an extremely sociable sort, and I'd rather make a friend than be a prick to someone, regardless of how stupid they truly are or I imagine them to be.

Of course some people, for their part, are anti-social pricks and you can't be friends with them, so you move on and make another friend, leaving the obnoxious prick friendless.

Anyway, what I'm tying to say is, I squares up, casual like. What does the hard cunt do? Or the so-called hard cunt? Shites it. Puts down his drink, turns, and gets the fuck out of there. And after that, well, the game was mine.

Makes sense?

[Uncle Duke]

You'd have made a great electrical engineer.

[West of the Rockies]

I am not a psychologist.  I don't know you and have no vested interest in you other than as a human being who is clearly suffering.  I do have that ability (to feel sympathy and empathy).  To not possess that ability does not appear to be bringing you satisfaction or comfort.  I think you could benefit from talking honestly to a mental health specialist.  I hope you do, gnoory, I do, and I hope it is a good, compassionate one (and not someone for whom the task is just a job).

My sister-in-law does not experience empathy.  She said she had to look up the word and just doesn't have it.  You are not alone (though I guess it must feel like you are).

Thanks for the honesty.  The fact that you bothered to share suggests that you DO know something is not quite right, that you are unhappy.  Find help.  Truly, best wishes.

[Kelt]

You'd have made a great electrical engineer.

Or Austrian painter.

[gnooryblows]

I am not a psychologist.  I don't know you and have no vested interest in you other than as a human being who is clearly suffering.  I do have that ability (to feel sympathy and empathy).  To not possess that ability does not appear to be bringing you satisfaction or comfort.  I think you could benefit from talking honestly to a mental health specialist.  I hope you do, gnoory, I do, and I hope it is a good, compassionate one (and not someone for whom the task is just a job).

My sister-in-law does not experience empathy.  She said she had to look up the word and just doesn't have it.  You are not alone (though I guess it must feel like you are).

Thanks for the honesty.  The fact that you bothered to share suggests that you DO know something is not quite right, that you are unhappy.  Find help.  Truly, best wishes.

not feeling empathy does not make me unhappy, having to live in a world full of people that i fuckin hate does

[b_dubb]

You might try talking to someone about this.

[The General]

Just as an experiment, would you consider volunteering in some capacity to try and help people who truly need help?  Just as an experiment, say commit to 6 or 8 weeks of volunteering at a children's hospital or your local Red Cross or something just to see if you can FEEL?  What would it feel like if you could empathize with someone?  Maybe even volunteer to help with sick animals?  Aren't you curious what it would feel like?  I'd be feeling pretty empty if I couldn't feel. 

The pain you felt as a child has hardened you.  That's entirely understandable.  That same pain is being doled out to other children as we speak, and you could actually make a difference in their lives someday.  You could.  Think about it.  I'm not telling you what to do, just saying think about it.  I wish you the best, I really do.

[Kelt]

Just as an experiment, would you consider volunteering in some capacity to try and help people who truly need help?  Just as an experiment, say commit to 6 or 8 weeks of volunteering at a children's hospital or your local Red Cross or something just to see if you can FEEL?  What would it feel like if you could empathize with someone?  Aren't you curious what it would feel like?  I'd be feeling pretty empty if I couldn't feel. 

The pain you felt as a child has hardened you.  That's entirely understandable.  That same pain is being doled out to other children as we speak, and you could actually make a difference in their lives someday.  You could.  Think about it.  I'm not telling you what to do, just saying think about it.  I wish you the best, I really do.

You're suggesting that a guy who, and I quote, "[has] no human emotions such as empathy, or kindness, or love. I feel horrible dirty or disgusting when I do something nice for someone or someone does something nice for me. I have zero use for people emotionally. I can watch bad things happen to people and not feel a shred of emotion or pity." ...should get a job around children or the otherwise vulnerable?

How about no?

[gnooryblows]

You're suggesting that a guy who, and I quote, "[has] no human emotions such as empathy, or kindness, or love. I feel horrible dirty or disgusting when I do something nice for someone or someone does something nice for me. I have zero use for people emotionally. I can watch bad things happen to people and not feel a shred of emotion or pity."

...and you reckon he should get a job around children or the otherwise vulnerable?

How about no?

L
O
L
that's what I was thinking, was not going to respond to the message though. but since you said it....
doing something nice for anybody turns my stomach and makes feel sick and disgusted and angry in a way that I simply cannot understand or explain. its prob the worst feeling to me aside from genuine seering pain from a broken bone or trauma mixed with fear in a really horrible, life threatening situation. the second most painful is hearing somebody say something nice to me or about me. fuckin pisses me off.

[jazmunda]

Where did the bad man touch you?

[Khameleon808]

Just as an experiment, would you consider volunteering in some capacity to try and help people who truly need help?  Just as an experiment, say commit to 6 or 8 weeks of volunteering at a children's hospital or your local Red Cross or something just to see if you can FEEL?  What would it feel like if you could empathize with someone?  Aren't you curious what it would feel like?  I'd be feeling pretty empty if I couldn't feel. 

The pain you felt as a child has hardened you.  That's entirely understandable.  That same pain is being doled out to other children as we speak, and you could actually make a difference in their lives someday.  You could.  Think about it.  I'm not telling you what to do, just saying think about it.  I wish you the best, I really do.

Excellent advice.   I used to feel sort of similar around 19 or so because I was always exposed to really horrible international news regularly. I kinda checked out from caring about the species for a good couple months. I really started to respect and enjoy being around animals more.  But it was after helping my friend Anna with volunteer work assisting tornado victims, that I saw suffering first hand.  And seeing how our help had an impact on them, it made me realize that people (despite our shortcomings as a species), are great to connect with spiritually and socially.  And that there is hope.     I know it sounds very afterschool special, but it did turn me around to care for my fellow man again.  Hope that helps.   

[gnooryblows]

I dont know why im even writing this shit on here. I really dont know why I just felt the urge to share that

lmfao,

im prob done responding now unless somebody who says they're similar to me writes

[The General]

L
O
L
that's what I was thinking, was not going to respond to the message though. but since you said it....
doing something nice for anybody turns my stomach and makes feel sick and disgusted and angry in a way that I simply cannot understand or explain. its prob the worst feeling to me aside from genuine seering pain from a broken bone or trauma mixed with fear in a really horrible, life threatening situation. the second most painful is hearing somebody say something nice to me or about me. fuckin pisses me off.

I think you know that you're not normal.  And that it's a result of what bad people did to you.  I agree wholeheartedly with b-dubb... you should seek some help.  And if that sounded too nice and pissed you off - I would also add that you should put broken glass in your socks.  Just kidding, don't do that.

[The General]

I dont know why im even writing this shit on here. I really dont know why I just felt the urge to share that

lmfao,

im prob done responding now unless somebody who says they're similar to me writes

I used to be.  Not to the extent you describe, but I used to hate everyone and everything and wanted to be left completely alone and I had no use for anyone.  I turned to drugs to feel something.  It took me a long long time to sort shit out, and I would hope that you can get better before you get worse.  Because none of us stay the same for very long.  We're either getting better, or we're getting worse.

[gnooryblows]

I used to be.  Not to the extent you describe, but I used to hate everyone and everything and wanted to be left completely alone and I had no use for anyone.  I turned to drugs to feel something.  It took me a long long time to sort shit out, and I would hope that you can get better before you get worse.  Because none of us stay the same for very long.  We're either getting better, or we're getting worse.

well that i'll respond to. I can relate to looking to drugs to feel something. that said, i'm totally stone sober. i dont drink, smoke, shoot or snort. i wont even touch caffeine. the fact that im stone sober and the rest of the world is on some sort of drug or other is another thing that bothers me in ways nobody will ever understand as well.

I used to smoke cigarettes and drink caffeine though. was never a big drinker but been hammered my share of times. was never much for me.

drugs of all sorts really fuck people up and turn them into retards though. pot, smokes, booze, anti-depressants and even just caffeine

[Khameleon808]

I dont know why im even writing this shit on here. I really dont know why I just felt the urge to share that

lmfao,

im prob done responding now unless somebody who says they're similar to me writes

Nothing wrong with putting the shit out there man.  No doubt there are people that feel the same. Or did at some point.  Maybe for different reasons.  I actually feel awkward when people do nice things for me too.  I look at it as "charity" and some feeling that is just "repelling" is the only way I can describe it.    I guess with all the visually traumatizing things I've seen in the lovely years online (and off), I can kinda relate to how you feel about how some humans dont deserve the air they breathe.   But some do.   

And the fact you are not out there hurting people says that you still have some of that humanity left in you.  Dont force yourself to like people.  It just has to happen one day.  The fact that you shared enough of how you feel already exempts you from being a "bad person"       Just hang on for the ride man.    If you ever need someone to bullshit with or wish the destruction of mankind with, hit us up.   You'd be surprised how some of us had much different paths to get to the few similar points of view.

[The General]

well that i'll respond to. I can relate to looking to drugs to feel something. that said, i'm totally stone sober. i dont drink, smoke, shoot or snort. i wont even touch caffeine. the fact that im stone sober and the rest of the world is on some sort of drug or other is another thing that bothers me in ways nobody will ever understand as well.

I used to smoke cigarettes and drink caffeine though. was never a big drinker but been hammered my share of times. was never much for me.

drugs of all sorts really fuck people up and turn them into retards though. pot, smokes, booze, anti-depressants and even just caffeine

Yeah, I pretty much agree with all that.  I do have a beer or two on occasion, but I hate to see people volunteer to be retarded by smoking pot and doing drugs.  And when I say that I hate to see people do it, I don't mean that I feel bad for them for their choices, I mean I HATE to see it.  I look down on it.  I don't want to be around it or hear about it or see it at all.  What a stupid thing to do.  I sure did my share of it though.  And it was really, incredibly stupid.  God, I'd be rich by now if I had that ten years back. 

[gnooryblows]

Yeah, I pretty much agree with that.  I do have a beer or two on occasion, but I hate to see people volunteer to be retarded by smoking pot and doing drugs.  What a stupid thing to do.  I sure did my share of it though.  And it was really, incredibly stupid.

i smoke a cigarette on very rare occasion, ive prob smoked four or five in 2014, so maybe that makes me technically not stone sober. drugs for the most part numb people up to accepting horrible things about their lives. to accept their shit job, their shit lot in life. that's all fine if they want to do that to themselves, but the problem arises when they they drug themselves up in order to contribute to society, hence creating a huge monstrous society that dominates the entire planet and reduces your ability to live free and unencumbered through police force, deforestation, various legislations. so the masses doing drugs has a direct negative effect on me. which pisses me the fuck off.
stop doing drugs, you'll see that your life is shit because youre suddenly confronted with reality. you'll stop working for your corporate slave masters and contributing to a horrible, evil system. once the corporations have no labor force, and the governments have no arms or police (thugs and goons) they will seek to exist.  these systems will cease to pollute the lakes, the forests. i will once again be able to feed myself from the lake i live near, which according to the papers is at present so polluted by corporate run-off that its literally a hazard to touch. wtf?
this shit is not rocket science motherfuckers, humans need clean air and food to survive. they do not need motherfuckin ipads. drugs make it possible.

[gnooryblows]

Nothing wrong with putting the shit out there man.  No doubt there are people that feel the same. Or did at some point.  Maybe for different reasons.  I actually feel awkward when people do nice things for me too.  I look at it as "charity" and some feeling that is just "repelling" is the only way I can describe it.    I guess with all the visually traumatizing things I've seen in the lovely years online (and off), I can kinda relate to how you feel about how some humans dont deserve the air they breathe.   But some do.   

And the fact you are not out there hurting people says that you still have some of that humanity left in you.  Dont force yourself to like people.  It just has to happen one day.  The fact that you shared enough of how you feel already exempts you from being a "bad person"       Just hang on for the ride man.    If you ever need someone to bullshit with or wish the destruction of mankind with, hit us up.   You'd be surprised how some of us had much different paths to get to the few similar points of view.

im sort of happy to find people who feel the same, wont lie. like i used to think people were just acting sad and pretend crying when they went to funerals because i just couldnt comprehend feeling real grief. to think that all of that shit that goes on at funerals is real frightens me. do they not understand what life is? do they not understand that humans live then die? is everybody retarded? they must be, otherwise there's no explanation for their absurd behavior at funerals.
when i find people who felt the same way, it makes me feel a little better and more hopeful for the future of the planet, like maybe not everybody is so retarded. but even still, when i do, its just whatever, it doesnt do anything for me personally, it just makes me feel like maybe the world is not doomed.
also, hurting people does nothing for me either way
unless they are explicitly fucking with me of course.....

[Bart Ell]

Your opinion of Noory that inspired your screen name does not seem so bad if you hate everything.

[gnooryblows]

Your opinion of Noory that inspired your screen name does not seem so bad if you hate everything.

HA! The original screenname was "gnoorymustdie" but MV changed it because i dont want the FBI showing up for any reason!

[Bart Ell]

HA! The original screenname was "gnoorymustdie" but MV changed it because i dont want the FBI showing up for any reason!

Don't you understand that humans live then die?
Noory must die doesn't seem so bad, either.

[gnooryblows]

Don't you understand that humans live then die?
Noory must die doesn't seem so bad, either.

no i agree, its not so bad at all, but we live in a social and political climate of intense paranoia where people do go to prison or deal with legal consequences for shit that happens over the internet.

[Bart Ell]

no i agree, its not so bad at all, but we live in a social and political climate of intense paranoia where people do go to prison or deal with legal consequences for shit that happens over the internet.

Who gives a poop about prison?
I thought you were all bad ass and I was gonna have an emo moment with you but now that you are scared of prison I'm not that into you anymore.

Have an emotionally neutral evening, sir.

[gnooryblows]

Who gives a poop about prison?
I thought you were all bad ass and I was gonna have an emo moment with you but now that you are scared of prison I'm not that into you anymore.

Have an emotionally neutral evening, sir.

never said that i was a badass of any sort

[ItsOver]

 

HA! The original screenname was "gnoorymustdie" but MV changed it because i dont want the FBI showing up for any reason!

Thanks for the laugh. ) MV can be such a buzz killer. Hang in there man.  Life's a short ride.  Make the most of it, get some grins, and enjoy the ride.

[Eddie Coyle]

       The day I'm not a rotten motherfucker is checkout time. What Parkinson's was to Robin Williams, mellowing would be to me.