Making tough choices

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Last night I was randomly viewing some nudie photos of Asian girls with big boobs, and I felt that familiar stirring.  I was in the mood for what is euphemistically known as "racking the pump action yogurt rifle," "shaking hands with the one-armed sailor," or "educating Quick Karl" (and for you libertarians, "shrugging Atlas").

I got things prepared, including some paper towels laid out in a little stack on the desk in front of me for easy access.  I got a particularly good rhythm going with the porn clip I was watching, and felt the satisfying sensation of a giant load moving into the firing chamber (guys will understand what I mean here).  This was gonna be a good one.  I made a quality check to see if I had enough towels on hand.

With exquisite timing, I brought myself closer and closer to the edge until the moment of truth arrived.  As I crossed the threshold of inevitability, I could sense that this was indeed going to be a typhoon, and I reached for the towels.

Just then, with a golf ball-sized load traveling down my plumbing, I noticed that a medium-sized wolf spider had scampered onto the paper towels.  And it just sat there.  Watching.

Under other circumstances, I could have dealt with this situation cleanly.  But circumstances, and the clock, were not on my side.

How about you guys?  Have you ever faced a "tough choice" situation under time pressure?  How did you resolve it?

[eddie dean]

Last night I was randomly viewing some nudie photos of Asian girls with big boobs, and I felt that familiar stirring.  I was in the mood for what is euphemistically known as "racking the pump action yogurt rifle," "shaking hands with the one-armed sailor," or "educating Quick Karl" (and for you libertarians, "shrugging Atlas").

I got things prepared, including some paper towels laid out in a little stack on the desk in front of me for easy access.  I got a particularly good rhythm going with the porn clip I was watching, and felt the satisfying sensation of a giant load moving into the firing chamber (guys will understand what I mean here).  This was gonna be a good one.  I made a quick check to see if I had enough towels on hand.

With exquisite timing, I brought myself closer and closer to the edge until the moment of truth arrived.  As I crossed the threshold of inevitability, I could sense that this was indeed going to be a typhoon, and I reached for the towels.

Just then, with a golf ball-sized load traveling down my plumbing, I noticed that a medium-sized wolf spider had scampered onto the paper towels.  And it just sat there.  Watching.

Under other circumstances, I could have dealt with this situation cleanly.  But circumstances, and the clock, were not on my side.

How about you guys?  Have you ever faced a "tough choice" situation under time pressure?  How did you resolve it?

You are henceforth known as  the Spider Enchanter, the Pied Fapper of Bellgab!

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

I like wolf spiders, because they eat all kinds of nasty household vermin.  Years ago, one spent much of its time exploring the walls of my living room.  When I played my guitar, it would come over to the wall behind my amp and stay there until I was finished (and no, "playing my guitar" is not a euphemism--that would be "strumming my guitar").  A fan's a fan, and you take them whenever you can get them.

[nextgen.fm]

Wtf?

lolol...

[Tarbaby]

Last night I was randomly viewing some nudie photos of Asian girls with big boobs, and I felt that familiar stirring.  I was in the mood for what is euphemistically known as "racking the pump action yogurt rifle," "shaking hands with the one-armed sailor," or "educating Quick Karl" (and for you libertarians, "shrugging Atlas").

I got things prepared, including some paper towels laid out in a little stack on the desk in front of me for easy access.  I got a particularly good rhythm going with the porn clip I was watching, and felt the satisfying sensation of a giant load moving into the firing chamber (guys will understand what I mean here).  This was gonna be a good one.  I made a quality check to see if I had enough towels on hand.

With exquisite timing, I brought myself closer and closer to the edge until the moment of truth arrived.  As I crossed the threshold of inevitability, I could sense that this was indeed going to be a typhoon, and I reached for the towels.

Just then, with a golf ball-sized load traveling down my plumbing, I noticed that a medium-sized wolf spider had scampered onto the paper towels.  And it just sat there.  Watching.

Under other circumstances, I could have dealt with this situation cleanly.  But circumstances, and the clock, were not on my side.

How about you guys?  Have you ever faced a "tough choice" situation under time pressure?  How did you resolve it?

what was the tough choice? Whether to aim at the spider or not?

[Catsmile]

Shoot the spider with ropes of goo.
TAKE THAT SPIDER!
Payback tiem!

                                           ME: 1

SPIDER WEBS IN THE FACE: >9000


                         
                               WINRAR!

[Kelt]

Last night I was randomly viewing some nudie photos of Asian girls with big boobs,

That's as far as I read.

This thread is worthless without links.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

That's as far as I read.

This thread is worthless without links.

I have already inquired about that and have been told it is against the rules to post nudity here.

[Kelt]

I have already inquired about that and have been told it is against the rules to post nudity here.

Yeah... nudity is bad and against god and the bible.

Links to hard core pornography should be fine though, surely?

What harm can a little link do?

[eddie dean]

Yeah... nudity is bad and against god and the bible.

Links to hard core pornography should be fine though, surely?

What harm can a little link do?

Are you having trouble finding porn on the internet? 

[Kelt]

Are you having trouble finding porn on the internet? 

It's not a case of finding porn, in fact the problem is too much porn.

To restate that for clarity, there's so much porn that narrowing it down to your particular... needs... can be both time-consuming and horribly distracting.  You start off with the intention of finding midgets dressed as French Maids, and before you know it you're seeing a French Maid who, okay, isn't a midget, but christ look at the breasts on her, and then you're suddenly looking at breasts, BIG breasts, but they're not necessarily attached to either French Maids or Midgets, but whoa there's a Brazilian ladyboy with boobs the size of prize-winning, village fete watermelons, and now where are you... you're scouring the net for ladyboys, and not absolutely all of them have big boobs and what's this link here oh my god it's a horse and a ladyboy and a dude called Trevor.

And now you're up to your John Thomas in gay bestiality.... when the wife walks into the room.

This is kind of a 'For want of a nail' situation. Only it's For want of a Midget French Maid Link you end up watching a dude called Trev sexually assaulting a horse that you're not entirely certain is on board with the whole project... so what you're really viewing, just to compound an already questionable situation, might in fact be the rape of a beautiful, noble beast of the forest. 

So when you see a single sentence, as in the OP, featuring 3 out of 3 of the things that are relevant to your interests you grab that link. You grab that link and you go straight to it with no intermediary clicking on links that are going to make you lose focus and set you off down a path towards horse-rape.

The OP was basically a threefer.

"...nudie photos of Asian girls with big boobs"

That's like everything under one roof.

So I guess what I'm saying is, where's my fucking link?

Is what I'm saying, pretty much.

[Yorkshire pud]

It's not a case of finding porn, in fact the problem is too much porn.

To restate that for clarity, there's so much porn that narrowing it down to your particular... needs... can be both time-consuming and horribly distracting.  You start off with the intention of finding midgets dressed as French Maids, and before you know it you're seeing a French Maid who, okay, isn't a midget, but christ look at the breasts on her, and then you're suddenly looking at breasts, BIG breasts, but they're not necessarily attached to either French Maids or Midgets, but whoa there's a Brazilian ladyboy with boobs the size of prize-winning, village fete watermelons, and now where are you... you're scouring the net for ladyboys, and not absolutely all of them have big boobs and what's this link here oh my god it's a horse and a ladyboy and a dude called Trevor.

And now you're up to your John Thomas in gay bestiality.... when the wife walks into the room.

This is kind of a 'For want of a nail' situation. Only it's For want of a Midget French Maid Link you end up watching a dude called Trev sexually assaulting a horse that you're not entirely certain is on board with the whole project... so what you're really viewing, just to compound an already questionable situation, might in fact be the rape of a beautiful, noble beast of the forest. 

So when you see a single sentence, as in the OP, featuring 3 out of 3 of the things that are relevant to your interests you grab that link. You grab that link and you go straight to it with no intermediary clicking on links that are going to make you lose focus and set you off down a path towards horse-rape.

The OP was basically a threefer.

"...nudie photos of Asian girls with big boobs"

That's like everything under one roof.

So I guess what I'm saying is, where's my fucking link?

Is what I'm saying, pretty much.

I'm going to need a lie down after reading that.

[onan]

So I guess what I'm saying is, where's my fucking link?

Is what I'm saying, pretty much.

Bookmarks my friend... bookmarks, renamed as political theory and economic realities.

[Tarbaby]

Shouldn't this thread go under "sticky topics"?

[MV/Liberace!]

Shouldn't this thread go under "sticky topics"?

Well played, sir.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I like wolf spiders, because they eat all kinds of nasty household vermin. 

[UnscreenedCaller]

[Foodlion]

That's a tough one. Wolf spiders are friendly little guys.

But if you don't, you might miss the target and hit yourself... and that's not cool.

OMEGLE GUY JERK OFF AND CUM TO HIS HEAD

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Given the subject of this thread, it's too bad it wasn't a wood spider.




www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfMDhzzvvVA

[Tarbaby]

That's a tough one. Wolf spiders are friendly little guys.

But if you don't, you might miss the target and hit yourself... and that's not cool.

OMEGLE GUY JERK OFF AND CUM TO HIS HEAD

Hell, I might hit someone through the window going down the street in a car. Knock their hat off.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

I was all set to make a comment about how nobody could be sad after seeing that adorable spider in its festive little droplet hat, but after thinking about it for awhile, I'm wondering if the real message is, "You think you're sad?  You don't even know sad.  Sad is what you feel when you have to go outside where everyone can see you while wearing a water drop on your head because you can't afford a real hat.  When you've felt that kind of sad, then you can come and talk to me."

[Eddie Coyle]

        David Bowie's Glass Spider tour of 1987.

        So bad that it lead to Tin Machine.

[RealCool Daddio]

        David Bowie's Glass Spider tour of 1987.

        So bad that it lead to Tin Machine.

It wasn't great, but there were a few cool things about the show. Frampton played well, and they did some cool covers - the Stooges I Wanna be Your Dog, and VU's White Light/White Heat. Never Let Me Down was just such a week album to be featured so prominently in the set list - I think they pretty much played the whole damn thing.

[Eddie Coyle]

It wasn't great, but there were a few cool things about the show. Frampton played well, and they did some cool covers - the Stooges I Wanna be Your Dog, and VU's White Light/White Heat. Never Let Me Down was just such a week album to be featured so prominently in the set list - I think they pretty much played the whole damn thing.

    I've read that Bowie was unnerved by the response to that tour, with the malfunctioning spider(couple of occasions in Northeast) being compared to a Spinal Tap moment. I remember him doing an interview on local radio when Tin Machine came out in '89 and he was disavowing the Never Let Me Down album and saying the Pixies were his muse. Those classic covers of Stooges/VU on that '87 tour pointing towards his "noise" rock experiments as well. 

    MTV abandoning Bowie right before Never Let Me Down arrived didn't help. "Dancing in the Street" was a hit...but a disaster.

[RealCool Daddio]

    I've read that Bowie was unnerved by the response to that tour, with the malfunctioning spider(couple of occasions in Northeast) being compared to a Spinal Tap moment. I remember him doing an interview on local radio when Tin Machine came out in '89 and he was disavowing the Never Let Me Down album and saying the Pixies were his muse. Those classic covers of Stooges/VU on that '87 tour pointing towards his "noise" rock experiments as well. 

    MTV abandoning Bowie right before Never Let Me Down arrived didn't help. "Dancing in the Street" was a hit...but a disaster.

I saw the show in a state conducive to musical appreciation, so my memories are pretty biased.  Plus, we had 5th row floor seats at the Olympic Stadium in Montreal, so there were about 65,000 screaming fans behind us, which can make even a mediocre show seem first rate.

Duran Duran opened, though.  Kinda harshed our buzz.

[Eddie Coyle]

Duran Duran opened, though.  Kinda harshed our buzz.

   Duran Duran opened! Wow. I forgot they still existed in '87. If I went to a show with them opening, I'd go black tar Heroin for a buzz...and hope for overdose.

[RealCool Daddio]

   Duran Duran opened! Wow. I forgot they still existed in '87. If I went to a show with them opening, I'd go black tar Heroin for a buzz...and hope for overdose.

(Again, so glad you are back, man )

Yep, they were still a big draw back then.  On the plus side, it did create lots of opportunities with their fan base. To paraphrase Warren Zevon, some of those girls had low self esteem.

[Eddie Coyle]

(Again, so glad you are back, man )

Yep, they were still a big draw back then.  On the plus side, it did create lots of opportunities with their fan base. To paraphrase Warren Zevon, some of those girls had low self esteem.

     Good to be back...

     I was such a winner at that age, that even the low self esteem girls would suddenly enter rarefied air of superiority when I was around. I was the most curmudgeonly teenager ever.

[Tarbaby]

I attended Bowie's Glass spider tour/concert. I was there with my girlfriend.  We  were in the process of breaking up. Some guy walked along in the row behind us and still about half of his 28 ounce ice cold beer down her back. The whole event was a huge disappointment including the band. Although we were both fans  of bowie's music in his previous better days.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I attended Bowie's Glass spider tour/concert. I was there with my girlfriend.  We  were in the process of breaking up. Some guy walked along in the row behind us and still about half of his 28 ounce ice cold beer down her back. The whole event was a huge disappointment including the band.

So the discussion has evolved from cock-blocking spiders to cock-blocking glass spider tours.  I guess it's just not a topic that stimulates people's imaginations.