SICK of unwelcome SEXUAL advances from BellGabbers.

[ksm32]

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anythingâ€"I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these BELLGABBERS. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this bellgabber in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a certain bellgabber and I talking about our workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man tooâ€"big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.  
Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, bellgabber, suck my cock.
I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, then I've got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking bellgabber, blond-haired man (no, not Stellar) in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!

What is it with these BELLGABBERS? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay gabber cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some bellgabber. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other bellgabbing homos  who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a BELLGABBER is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a bellgabber passes me on the street, I'm afraid he or it is going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wifeâ€"even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these BGs  mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those gabbers off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, neck, chest and hair, and cars, seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these bellgabbers?

I swear, if these bellgabbers don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measuresâ€"like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, I  can't get much more direct than that.

no kidding

[jazmunda]

Freud would have a field day with this one. Best thread ever. I hope it takes over the GNS thread in views and replies.

Thanks for taking one for the team. Literally.

[Yorkshire pud]

Freud would have a field day with this one. Best thread ever. I hope it takes over the GNS thread in views and replies.

Thanks for taking one for the team. Literally.

He's usurped you as the resident dirty talker Jaz...How does that make you feel?

[McPhallus]

I think is a recycled Onion article.  Still funny, though.

[Blinko]

Grow up

[yumyumtree]

I'll rein myself in.
I'm a woman, but you indicated that women could become part of the problem too.

[Dateline]

Maybe you just need a good burger.  Burger King has the rainbow wrapped one. 

[analog kid]

He's protesting too much because he's gay. The gag is given away early so there's no punchline.

[ziznak]

blinko what site are you gettin yer avy's from? old hicks and slutty chicks seems kinda niche.

[Blinko]

blinko what site are you gettin yer avy's from? old hicks and slutty chicks seems kinda niche.

Just from a google search of the right keywords

[missing transmission]

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking bellgabber, blond-haired man (no, not Stellar) in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!

That was you?

You never called me once.

[Yorkshire pud]

Just from a google search of the right keywords

"Dirty old man has his hands on pre-pubescent girl's arse and twat, pose"?

[Blinko]

"Dirty old man has his hands on pre-pubescent girl's arse and twat, pose"?

You're sick, seriously

[Yorkshire pud]

You're sick, seriously

Hey, it isn't me in the photo or with the right keywords...

Work that one out.   

[Blinko]

Hey, it isn't me in the photo or with the right keywords...

Work that one out.   

You're the only one that keeps mentioning this sick shit , how bout you stfu already


Creepy Weirdo

[Yorkshire pud]

You're the only one that keeps mentioning this sick shit , how bout you stfu already

You load it, I'll fire the bullets. Guilty conscience? I see now you've changed it?

Creepy Weirdo

I wouldn't know, I don't have your extensive library of such pictures. Maybe you can throw light on it.  :

[Blinko]

You load it, I'll fire the bullets. Guilty conscience? I see now you've changed it?


I wouldn't know, I don't have your extensive library of such pictures. Maybe you can throw light on it.  :

Get a life

Log off for a while , go do something other than being a creepy perv here

[Yorkshire pud]

Get a life

Log off for a while , go do something other than being a creepy perv here

Tetchy aren't you?  :

[Blinko]

^ some people are just lonely I guess

Having fun talking to yourself for a few hours , hell of a way to get ready for the holiday

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

^ some people are just lonely I guess

Having fun talking to yourself for a few hours , hell of a way to get ready for the holiday

He's a Redcoat, so no holiday for him.  He'll be spending the day guzzling Marmite and banging his mash with a spanner.

[Foodlion]

Edit: Ok never mind that. I deleted my comment lol

[b_dubb]

He's you slurped you as the resident dirty talker Jaz...How does that make you feel?

fixed

[ksm32]

I think is a recycled Onion article.  Still funny, though.

Indeed sir, a classic from 1998. Jazmunda's reaction was worth the whole thread. What's all the fighting about?

[ksm32]

He's usurped you as the resident dirty talker Jaz...How does that make you feel?

That actually hurts my feelings. You are a bringer of pain, crusher of dreams, and an overall dark overlord. Other than that you're OK.

[Yorkshire pud]

That actually hurts my feelings. You are a bringer of pain, crusher of dreams, and an overall dark overlord. Other than that you're OK.

I only bring pain if it's consensual  .......

The rest was never proved and I'm getting my legal team onto those frankly libelous publications that have printed such scurrilous lies. 

[Blinko]

I only bring pain if it's consensual  .......

The rest was never proved and I'm getting my legal team onto those frankly libelous publications that have printed such scurrilous lies.

So you slept for a few hours then got right back on here eager to reply to anything


lol@you

[Yorkshire pud]

So you slept for a few hours then got right back on here eager to reply to anything


lol@you

Hush child...go and play. You don't have to reply. But you will.  :

But I replied to a comment directed at me, are you jealous?

[onan]

somebody said something I didn't like, they must be evil in all aspects.