The General Musings of Falkie2013 (George Senda, The Guy From Pittsburgh)

[steelbot]

I don't watch The Simpsons very often (not more than once a week, usually Sunday) but I did catch a rare mid-week episode today called "Grift of the Magi".

For those who have never seen the episode, there is one line that seems to ring so true to me

the simpsons the ironing is delicious

The ironing is, indeed, delicious!

Imagine spending your days insulting a public figure, trying your bestest to be a public figure yourself with buttloads of misguided self promotion and then complaining when someone ribs you in the same manner!

It would be as crazy as making a video complaining how unprofessional and unprepared someone is and then, halfway through your video you go off to open a door for a rabbit. You stand up, stomp through a room polluted with a mess better suited for an episode of hoarders, bend over to show more ass crack than a team of plumbers on the way to the door.

You would think most people would start recording the video over, you know, to seem somewhat professional. Nope, not this jihad declarer!

Or you could complain how someone doesn't do any prep and then spend half a video trying to figure out how many cents a day a subscription would cost you because... wait for it... you didn't prepare those numbers beforehand!

Things like this don't seem possible in this human world, right?

As an old pal of mine wrote to me

Upon reading his prose I fell ill. Not because of any feelings of regret, no sir.

It was because it was like the pot met the kettle, both of them made from well polished black mirrored material. They also both had eyes so they could look at each other and they were in a room made from mirrors.





http://www.mcescher.com/

The noted New Zealand kiwi hoarder Bluesmunda will ignore the above link.

I do wish to issue an apology to those offended by my stripper stories. It was wrong of me to mention my expert cocksman abilities without providing links. I promise that more than one human has called me an expert swordsman, even if I do not have the links to back this statement up. Because of the lack of links I will retract my statement and issue a full apology.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cocksman

I only really had a few beef's with Falkie, one was sending me private messages to remind me to look at his posts.  Or to assist with internet stalkers, that had too much personal information to begin with.  I have my own troubles, and tribulations with being disabled, from military service, and just couldn't get it to sink in that unfortunately it was his own fault for giving away the information to begin with.  After I politely told him to please refrain, i got the obligatory final message of this will be the last one, and i'm sure being mad and sorry was brought up, as with other private messages when people are shocked they're being shut off from a potential attention gathering source. 

Two, was that he just seemed like he was trying TOO hard to get noticed, to the point that his schtick became that of a "reporter" - with complete nonsensical humor about the situation.  I just chose to ignore many of his posts and videos, because I didn't find them entertaining enough to continue watching.  Not because I had any issues with the guy's living conditions or box fans.  I do find it funny in the same vein that Falkie himself would take such a ribbing and then be dumbfounded by the fact that on the Internet - people - JUST LIKE HIMSELF - have the same right to say whatever they want about you..so I find it hypocritically ironic - that you would take offense to someone calling you out on whatever they chose to, and then do the very same thing to Nooray.

Third, and this is the biggy of them all, it's not that I and everyone else around here haven't done it.  But FALKIE, for the LOVE of god man, YOU DON'T have to write war and peace every time you want to tell a story.  THE BEST THING you could do would be to start a blog and get your daily,hourly,second-by-second updates out there to the public that way - but to be fair, you're not a real reporter my friend.  Your random musings are just that, random.  you don't have to post the entire story and then a web link to a transcription of said conversation from the video link of the same name.  Tinyurl is your friend.

Which brings me to you Bart Ell.  Your postings, have become borderline duplicates of Falkies, but from the exact opposite position.  So much so, that you too could learn from the very same lessons of the person you appear to be disliking.  But your charade has either been to parody Falkie with such exact detail that I would gather you to be one in the same.

Quacks like a duck my friend, cause it only takes one white crow, or some shit.

Falkies to all!
-Scott

[Bart Ell]

white crow

The aforementioned white crow does not actually exist. It is what, we in the science field, call the Polar Bear Effect. The feathers, or crow hair as we in the science field call it, is actually black but highly reflective, which makes it appear white in snowy conditions.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polar_bear
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/effect



The only exception to this would be the albino crow - a black crow carrying the genious albinos. Much like albino African American humans, the crow is considered black.



What is not commonly known is that Phobos, one of the two satellites (or moons) of Mars is the only known albino moon in the solar system.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phobos_(moon)

Enough about real science, more about me!

I would reread what I just wrote but I sat on my broken glasses (eyesight<bad microphones) and somehow fixed them! Since it is the first time I can properly see in the last 4 months I will spend my time creeping on more escorts on twitter and maybe watch some of that free porn I hear so much about. Toots!

[Bart Ell]

Top of the morning fellow Gabbians! The lack of response to my posts will not stop be from posting since I feel I am sharing important information that makes all your lives better. I sent private messages to those who I feel would benefit the most from my musings, reminding you that I have posted something worthwhile to enhance your life. You are very welcome!

Wow, what a night of porn watching I had! Things have really changed from the days when I would walk strippers home and hope I would get a handy for my efforts. Since I am an expert at online searches I managed to find a site that is hidden deep in the underbelly of the internet. You go there and are able to watch girls on cams (short for camera or webcam) for free. As far as I know it is the only place where you can watch a collection of girls on their cams.



It is garbage collection day today and I managed to throw out a good 12-15 sheets of loose leaf paper that I no longer needed as I was able to scan them into my new scanner. Now if I could figure out how to get them from inside the scanner to my Imac I would be really happy!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loose_leaf

My favorite leaf is not the maple leaf (sorry Canoooks) nor the pot leaf (sorry most of bellgab) but actually the American Holly



If my halls were not cluttered with so many important items I would have them decked in American Holly for the season.

[BobGrau]

Falkie and Bart: You guys need to throw away the hatchet and collaberate on something. I see no shortage of common ground you could both bury yer catshit on...


mmm, CollaberGab.


EDIT: Large Gabron Collider.

[Yorkshire pud]

Falkie and Bart: You guys need to throw away the hatchet and collaberate on something. I see no shortage of common ground you could both bury yer catshit on...


mmm, CollaberGab.


EDIT: Large Gabron Collider.

The Falkiebart?

El-kie?

Falkie isn't here so I guess he won't see it; but the valid point was made that he can throw it out but has a big problem taking it. He wouldn't last very long working in a factory.

[ziznak]

Ah man... I just got word we lost Falkie. 

I was gonna put my tights and cape on.  Take a little flight around the planet and reverse its rotation which naturally would reverse time... but then this quote kept reverberating in my head....

"It is Forbidden for you to interfere with human history"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCsHTNP2MaU

[area51drone]

EDIT: Large Gabron Collider.

Shit, that should be the name for this entire forum.

[MV/Liberace!]

god bless falkie and all, but if you're going to put yourself out there, MAN... don't be shocked when people sling shit at you.  that's all there really is to say about the matter.

[Bart Ell]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCsHTNP2MaU

Speaking of YouTube (see, I stayed on topic) I found out today that they have been giving me the runaround on this whole monetization of my content. They don't tell you beforehand that your account has to be first accepted into their partner program, then they invite you to monetize your videos. I have been emailing them for clarification on this issue for weeks and they keep sending me the same automated response! By my calculation I have earned thousands off of my content and they have not, scratch that, WILL not pay me for my hard work. I read over the materials they sent me and I see they expect me to activate monetization on a per video basis. Excuse me? They want me to create content for them AND do they work setting it all up so they can make money off of my back? Why would I work a 40 hour week to make someone else rich?

https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/82839?hl=en

I was counting on that money to put toward my new e-bike, as the old one had a scratch on it and was called a total write-off. I am pretty sure some late night radio huckster is in tight with YouTube and told them they should jerk my change... in this case my change being the hard earned money I should be making for my videos.

http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/jerk-(one's)-chain

I found out that YouTube is also affiliated with Google, who are also out to get me. I forgot my password and they locked me out of my accounts with them. I wrote them dozens of emails and, they too, send me back the same automated response. Why am I supposed to remember the phone number I used when I registered the account? I even put my Imac onto my red wagon and took it down to Google Headquarters to show them that I can't log in but they didn't even let me get close to the building.



Because of this I am unable to also log into my old twitter account and unfriend some of the escorts and prostitutes I was following. I even tried telling my story, complete with blow by blow of my e-bike issues, on various internet money making sites and so far nobody has reached out to help me. Why is everyone such a jerk and unwilling to help me?

Effective immediately I will no longer be posting in YouTube in any capacity. I will however remain logged into my account and visit YouTube multiple times a day and send private messages trying to garner support for my boycott.
A man can only take so much of being made to look like a complete and abject fool, of which I am not... without being paid.
I will continue to post videos online and continue to keep up the high standards of preparation and production I am known for.
Snoorass could learn a thing or two from how I run a production!



Yes I am aware of what I am doing.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flogging_a_dead_horse

[Grov505th]

shine on you crazy diamond....

[Yorkshire pud]

shine on you crazy diamond....

Dear dear Syd Barrett, we remember him. Falkies latest tribute video.

[littlechris]

Falkie hasnt left, hell be back. He loves this place too much to not post here anymore. I just sent him a pm and told him that he wouldnt stop posting here even if we collectively paid him to stay away. Hell be back posting again.

First and foremost, I am very much enjoying this thread!! Bart Ell is fricken hillarious and I dont see it as Bart trying to make Falkie look bad. Its just a funny and accurate parody. Falkie knows that 90% of the posters and lurkers, do enjoy having him apart of this forum and reading his unique posts.  I also agree in that Falkie has been relentless against Noory, yet has a major MELT DOWN when a few posters have a little fun with him in "his" own thread.
Falkie, if you want fame and fortune, you have to have thicker skin and the more successful you get, the more people will try to destroy you!!
  Falkie, as far as this place is concerned, most everyone has been "nice" and have yet to attack you, no holds barred style. Falkie, stop being a crybaby and come back out and play. Bring your ball.

[BobGrau]

Internet Therapy: it hurts but it makes us stronger as a species.

[tertiaryimam]

Falkie hasnt left, hell be back. He loves this place too much to not post here anymore. I just sent him a pm and told him that he wouldnt stop posting here even if we collectively paid him to stay away. Hell be back posting again.

First and foremost, I am very much enjoying this thread!! Bart Ell is fricken hillarious and I dont see it as Bart trying to make Falkie look bad. Its just a funny and accurate parody. Falkie knows that 90% of the posters and lurkers, do enjoy having him apart of this forum and reading his unique posts.  I also agree in that Falkie has been relentless against Noory, yet has a major MELT DOWN when a few posters have a little fun with him in "his" own thread.
Falkie, if you want fame and fortune, you have to have thicker skin and the more successful you get, the more people will try to destroy you!!
  Falkie, as far as this place is concerned, most everyone has been "nice" and have yet to attack you, no holds barred style. Falkie, stop being a crybaby and come back out and play. Bring your ball.

Hey littlechris, how you been brotha?

[littlechris]

Hey littlechris, how you been brotha?

Whats up bro. Just enjoying the holidays with friends n fam. Definetly eating and drinking too much. Happy Holidays.

[tertiaryimam]

Whats up bro. Just enjoying the holidays with friends n fam. Definetly eating and drinking too much. Happy Holidays.

Happy Holidays. Don't get too drunk now --- egg nog is beautiful going down but coming back up with liquified turkey, pecan pie, and raspberry sauce is fuckin' brutal. Especially if you're wearing nothing but a Santa hat.

[Bart Ell]

After dealing with that huge YouTube issue I needed to relax so I took a nap. Feeling somewhat recharged I took some time to correspond with a business partner who came to me with a fantastic opportunity. This deal will be a life changer and should be finalized any minute now. Here is my end of the communication, posted here because I feel most of you can learn from this and be better in your own personal business lives.

Miss Wumi Abdul,

Thank you for you correspondence of December 23rd, 2013.

My condolences on the death of your parents, Mr and Mrs George Abdul. It shocked me to hear that your father was poisoned due to his status in the cocoa trade.

I appreciate your offer of 15% of the $12,500,000.00

I will gladly serve as the guardian but it will take me a few weeks to get the bank account information you need to transfer the funds. Normally this would be an easy task for me but last week my e-bike got scratched and was deemed a total write-off. My live-out girlfriend was riding it at the time and was unable to get the plate number of the scratcher. For me to get to the bank I would have to take a 90 minute bus ride, including 2 transfers and a stop for a cool, refreshing yoohoo beverage. This may not seem like a long ride to you but, due to my issues of having pimples BEHIND my ears, I am not able to get out this week.

In the meantime I thought we should get to know each other a little, since I will be seen as guardian of your fortune. I am a well read, worldly man who is quite well known in the paranormal community. I have spent years learning to monetize myself online and building up my online persona as the Cookie from Poughkeepsie. I find I am best known for playing 2 minutes of senseless sound effects as an introduction for my online videos as well as posting almost maniacal videos in which I attack a late night radio host. This man is pure evil, he offered to pay for my broken glasses and is not as good at his job as the saint he replaced. I am shaking just thinking of this evil man. I feel he is on par with the person who poisoned your father.

I look forward to hearing back from you soon, I have already made plans on what I will do with the fifteen percent you promised me.



Stay cool,
Cookie from Poughkeepsie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poughkeepsie,_New_York

[BobGrau]

Ah, the verysillymultitudidnousness of it all.

[eddie dean]

Best thread in a long time!
I'm pissing myself laughing so much! (It happens anyway, but I feel better about my embarrassing "condition" when I can blame others)
Bart Ell's posts are hilarious!

[tertiaryimam]

Word on the street is that Falkie is going to be releasing a video in review of George Noory's snack book.

Stay tuned.

[onan]

Word on the street is that Falkie is going to be releasing a video in review of George Noory's snack book.

Stay tuned.

That is the word.

[littlechris]

I just heard from the man himself, and apparently Falkie was able to get a copy of Noory's new cook book and wanted me to spread the word that he will be reviewing Nooreys new cookbook  tonight with a new video on his youtube channel. Whoo Hoo!!

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1aLSvZUfvXZpoZyTL7fkng?feature=watch

[littlechris]

Word on the street is that Falkie is going to be releasing a video in review of George Noory's snack book.

Stay tuned.

oops, didnt see ur post. i assume everyone else got a message from falkie as well?

[onan]

oops, didnt see ur post. i assume everyone else got a message from falkie as well?

I think at least a few did.

[nooryisawesome]

Im looking forward to Faulkies review of his cookbook.

[nooryisawesome]

I find the Faulkie spoofs lame.

Faulkie is a one of a kind poster. What makes his post amusing is the fact he is serious when he writes them. They are not a spoof.

Faulkie should realize anytime you "put yourself out there" as MV stated, people will try to put you down. You cant let critics change who you are or how you feel.

[Bart Ell]

I was riding the red wagon around town today and decided to stop in at my favorite bookstore. Staring at me from a shelf was the devil himself - Jorge Snoortron and his Late Night Snacks book.

I quick jiggle of the sweatpants and the book slide nicely into my skid marked drawers. A quick exit and I was on my way home with my free book. There was no way I was going to make that devil richer by buying the book.

I had been spending a lot of time in the kitchen the last day or two with the oven door open. It is a very welcoming place, it seems to call me into it. But now I had a cookbook and was going to try some recipes!



I am an emotional eater and have been eating more than the average person for many years so I know what a good recipe is. This book fails at recipes.

The first big issue I have with this book is the ingredients used. We all can't be Donald Trump, George Nudegay! Vanilla Bean Extract? Freezer Fruit Preserves? Chorizo Sausage? These are not things we find in the average kitchen and most people reading this will not even know what these ingredients are!



The second and biggest issue is that I can't stand Gorge Hoohay so with each page, each recipe all I can think of is him stuffing his ugly face with all these rich people foods as he laughs at me. He taunts me with his sausage, he teases me with his tarts. I hate this man and I hate all his recipes.

The whole cookbook is so unlike anything I like its almost too ridiculous to comment on it.
A lot of pictures that are really dumb.
It is a lame attempt at a cookbook that fails.
Tell people I wrote a review about this because I said I wasn't talking to them anymore, in any capacity.

[Sambo]

Eating anything with sodium nitrate in it is playing roulette with cancer

[Falkie2013]

I was riding the red wagon around town today and decided to stop in at my favorite bookstore. Staring at me from a shelf was the devil himself - Jorge Snoortron and his Late Night Snacks book.

I quick jiggle of the sweatpants and the book slide nicely into my skid marked drawers. A quick exit and I was on my way home with my free book. There was no way I was going to make that devil richer by buying the book.

I had been spending a lot of time in the kitchen the last day or two with the oven door open. It is a very welcoming place, it seems to call me into it. But now I had a cookbook and was going to try some recipes!



I am an emotional eater and have been eating more than the average person for many years so I know what a good recipe is. This book fails at recipes.

The first big issue I have with this book is the ingredients used. We all can't be Donald Trump, George Nudegay! Vanilla Bean Extract? Freezer Fruit Preserves? Chorizo Sausage? These are not things we find in the average kitchen and most people reading this will not even know what these ingredients are!



The second and biggest issue is that I can't stand Gorge Hoohay so with each page, each recipe all I can think of is him stuffing his ugly face with all these rich people foods as he laughs at me. He taunts me with his sausage, he teases me with his tarts. I hate this man and I hate all his recipes.

The whole cookbook is so unlike anything I like its almost too ridiculous to comment on it.
A lot of pictures that are really dumb.
It is a lame attempt at a cookbook that fails.
Tell people I wrote a review about this because I said I wasn't talking to them anymore, in any capacity.

I can't stand this travesty anymore.

Aceept NO cheezy substitutes.

I AM FALKIE !

Video review in 2 hours.

[Bart Ell]

Effective immediately I will no longer be posting pictures of obese men and their ass cracks on Bellgab in any capacity.