Started by heater, December 19, 2013, 09:37:40 PM
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Quote from: Bart Ell on December 25, 2013, 04:58:42 PMI don't watch The Simpsons very often (not more than once a week, usually Sunday) but I did catch a rare mid-week episode today called "Grift of the Magi". For those who have never seen the episode, there is one line that seems to ring so true to methe simpsons the ironing is deliciousThe ironing is, indeed, delicious! Imagine spending your days insulting a public figure, trying your bestest to be a public figure yourself with buttloads of misguided self promotion and then complaining when someone ribs you in the same manner!It would be as crazy as making a video complaining how unprofessional and unprepared someone is and then, halfway through your video you go off to open a door for a rabbit. You stand up, stomp through a room polluted with a mess better suited for an episode of hoarders, bend over to show more ass crack than a team of plumbers on the way to the door. You would think most people would start recording the video over, you know, to seem somewhat professional. Nope, not this jihad declarer! Or you could complain how someone doesn't do any prep and then spend half a video trying to figure out how many cents a day a subscription would cost you because... wait for it... you didn't prepare those numbers beforehand!Things like this don't seem possible in this human world, right?As an old pal of mine wrote to meUpon reading his prose I fell ill. Not because of any feelings of regret, no sir. It was because it was like the pot met the kettle, both of them made from well polished black mirrored material. They also both had eyes so they could look at each other and they were in a room made from mirrors. http://www.mcescher.com/The noted New Zealand kiwi hoarder Bluesmunda will ignore the above link.I do wish to issue an apology to those offended by my stripper stories. It was wrong of me to mention my expert cocksman abilities without providing links. I promise that more than one human has called me an expert swordsman, even if I do not have the links to back this statement up. Because of the lack of links I will retract my statement and issue a full apology.http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cocksman
Quote from: steelbot on December 25, 2013, 06:56:59 PMwhite crow
Quote from: BobGrau on December 26, 2013, 10:18:13 AMFalkie and Bart: You guys need to throw away the hatchet and collaberate on something. I see no shortage of common ground you could both bury yer catshit on...mmm, CollaberGab.EDIT: Large Gabron Collider.
Quote from: BobGrau on December 26, 2013, 10:18:13 AMEDIT: Large Gabron Collider.
Quote from: ziznak on December 26, 2013, 12:50:21 PMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCsHTNP2MaU
Quote from: Grov505th on December 26, 2013, 03:32:01 PMshine on you crazy diamond....
Quote from: littlechris on December 26, 2013, 05:22:07 PMFalkie hasnt left, hell be back. He loves this place too much to not post here anymore. I just sent him a pm and told him that he wouldnt stop posting here even if we collectively paid him to stay away. Hell be back posting again.First and foremost, I am very much enjoying this thread!! Bart Ell is fricken hillarious and I dont see it as Bart trying to make Falkie look bad. Its just a funny and accurate parody. Falkie knows that 90% of the posters and lurkers, do enjoy having him apart of this forum and reading his unique posts. I also agree in that Falkie has been relentless against Noory, yet has a major MELT DOWN when a few posters have a little fun with him in "his" own thread. Falkie, if you want fame and fortune, you have to have thicker skin and the more successful you get, the more people will try to destroy you!! Falkie, as far as this place is concerned, most everyone has been "nice" and have yet to attack you, no holds barred style. Falkie, stop being a crybaby and come back out and play. Bring your ball.
Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 26, 2013, 05:57:47 PMHey littlechris, how you been brotha?
Quote from: littlechris on December 26, 2013, 05:59:37 PMWhats up bro. Just enjoying the holidays with friends n fam. Definetly eating and drinking too much. Happy Holidays.
QuoteMiss Wumi Abdul,Thank you for you correspondence of December 23rd, 2013.My condolences on the death of your parents, Mr and Mrs George Abdul. It shocked me to hear that your father was poisoned due to his status in the cocoa trade.I appreciate your offer of 15% of the $12,500,000.00 I will gladly serve as the guardian but it will take me a few weeks to get the bank account information you need to transfer the funds. Normally this would be an easy task for me but last week my e-bike got scratched and was deemed a total write-off. My live-out girlfriend was riding it at the time and was unable to get the plate number of the scratcher. For me to get to the bank I would have to take a 90 minute bus ride, including 2 transfers and a stop for a cool, refreshing yoohoo beverage. This may not seem like a long ride to you but, due to my issues of having pimples BEHIND my ears, I am not able to get out this week.In the meantime I thought we should get to know each other a little, since I will be seen as guardian of your fortune. I am a well read, worldly man who is quite well known in the paranormal community. I have spent years learning to monetize myself online and building up my online persona as the Cookie from Poughkeepsie. I find I am best known for playing 2 minutes of senseless sound effects as an introduction for my online videos as well as posting almost maniacal videos in which I attack a late night radio host. This man is pure evil, he offered to pay for my broken glasses and is not as good at his job as the saint he replaced. I am shaking just thinking of this evil man. I feel he is on par with the person who poisoned your father. I look forward to hearing back from you soon, I have already made plans on what I will do with the fifteen percent you promised me.Stay cool,Cookie from Poughkeepsie
Quote from: tertiaryimam on December 26, 2013, 08:13:03 PMWord on the street is that Falkie is going to be releasing a video in review of George Noory's snack book.Stay tuned.
Quote from: littlechris on December 26, 2013, 08:18:09 PMoops, didnt see ur post. i assume everyone else got a message from falkie as well?
Quote from: Bart Ell on December 26, 2013, 08:31:41 PMI was riding the red wagon around town today and decided to stop in at my favorite bookstore. Staring at me from a shelf was the devil himself - Jorge Snoortron and his Late Night Snacks book.I quick jiggle of the sweatpants and the book slide nicely into my skid marked drawers. A quick exit and I was on my way home with my free book. There was no way I was going to make that devil richer by buying the book.I had been spending a lot of time in the kitchen the last day or two with the oven door open. It is a very welcoming place, it seems to call me into it. But now I had a cookbook and was going to try some recipes!I am an emotional eater and have been eating more than the average person for many years so I know what a good recipe is. This book fails at recipes.The first big issue I have with this book is the ingredients used. We all can't be Donald Trump, George Nudegay! Vanilla Bean Extract? Freezer Fruit Preserves? Chorizo Sausage? These are not things we find in the average kitchen and most people reading this will not even know what these ingredients are!The second and biggest issue is that I can't stand Gorge Hoohay so with each page, each recipe all I can think of is him stuffing his ugly face with all these rich people foods as he laughs at me. He taunts me with his sausage, he teases me with his tarts. I hate this man and I hate all his recipes.The whole cookbook is so unlike anything I like its almost too ridiculous to comment on it.A lot of pictures that are really dumb. It is a lame attempt at a cookbook that fails.Tell people I wrote a review about this because I said I wasn't talking to them anymore, in any capacity.