How to improve your wife's SEX drive.

[ksm32]

- Watch one of her movies.
- Wine & or Martini's. Never RYE or BEER. NADDA!
- Make her laugh throughout the day.
- Make her Breakfast in just an apron. Try to have a great ass.
- Plant flowers together & martini's.
- Music.....?.. has been know to do the trick.
- Make a nice dinner together, while wine and martini's.
-THE DOUBLE WHAMMY! Take her out for a fine dinner on Saturday night, make her a fine dinner on Sunday night. This method can also make for a nice Monday night as well.

This may indeed be a creepy thread, but it is with good intentions and a warm heart. Now if you'll excuse me it's Sunday, and I'm making a creamy polenta topped with a basil cream sauce, seasonal vegetables, and chicken picante topped with a butter lemon sauce.

[sleeplessinca]

I like how you think.  Please no hijackers.

Bring ice cream to bed.

[The General]

- Make her Breakfast in just an apron. Try to have a great ass.

I'm with you on most of these,
but if I made breakfast in only an apron,
my wife would call the looney bin.

[jazmunda]

* When asked for your input on anything never say you don't care even when you know she doesn't want your opinion especially when it comes to wedding preparations
* Never and I mean never say she looks skinny when asked if she looks fat and never say she looks fat either obviously (there is no right answer to this questions and you are screwed whichever way you answer. It is a trick.)
* Never look, not even glance, at another women. If one happens to pass by your line of vision pour acid in your eyes (if that is too extreme then just gouge your eyes out with a fork). Whatever you do don't answer the question of "do you think she's prettier than me?" as this is also a trick question.

[stevesh]

* Never look, not even glance, at another women. If one happens to pass by your line of vision pour acid in your eyes (if that is too extreme then just gouge your eyes out with a fork). Whatever you do don't answer the question of "do you think she's prettier than me?" as this is also a trick question.

If this this really a problem, you're married to the wrong woman. Men are evolutionarily programmed to look at women (all women), and any wife who would ask, "Do you think she's prettier than me?" deserves a "Yes".

[jazmunda]

If this this really a problem, you're married to the wrong woman. Men are evolutionarily programmed to look at women (all women), and any wife who would ask, "Do you think she's prettier than me?" deserves a "Yes".

I didn't say these were specific to my wife. They are general rules based on past experience.

PSST my wife is reading over my shoulders. I am in so much trouble. Say goodbye to everyone from me.

[sleeplessinca]

1) When asked for your input on anything never say you don't care even when you know she doesn't want your opinion especially when it comes to wedding preparations
2) Never and I mean never say she looks skinny when asked if she looks fat and never say she looks fat either obviously (there is no right answer to this questions and you are screwed whichever way you answer. It is a trick.)
3) Never look, not even glance, at another women. If one happens to pass by your line of vision pour acid in your eyes (if that is too extreme then just gouge your eyes out with a fork). Whatever you do don't answer the question of "do you think she's prettier than me?" as this is also a trick question.

You have figured out many things grasshopper
1) support - good
2) best answer is that she is beautiful to you.  If there is a weight issue - there are other deeper issues there and you have to be patient
3) see number 2.  Maybe she needs to build some self esteem?

[b_dubb]

sprinkle cocaine on her cornflakes

[eddie dean]

Write short little notes to her and leave them around the house or send texts/emails during the day.
A nice compliment or something subtle and romantic from your heart.  It will let her know you are thinking of her when you're apart.
Don't write, "I wana hit dat" or "You got hot tits baby". Or "It's my Birthday! Will you blow me tonight?"

If that doesn't work then try wearing a George Clooney or Brad Pitt mask.
Shit, my posts always devolve into stupid jokes..sigh..Sorry, force of habit I guess.

But seriously, try the notes thing, and be honest about your love for her, how she makes you feel and how lucky you are that you are together, and how she inspires you to be a better man.
Be creative where you place them as well. On the mirror, in her coat pocket, in a bag of her favorite snacks. Make her feel important and special. You get the idea.

[Eddie Coyle]

         Do I what did.

         Divorce her.

[aldousburbank]

         Do I what did.

         Divorce her.

Did you try the corn flaked thing first?

[aldousburbank]

Write short little notes to her and leave them around the house or send texts/emails during the day.
A nice compliment or something subtle and romantic from your heart.  It will let her know you are thinking of her when you're apart.
Don't write, "I wana hit dat" or "You got hot tits baby". Or "It's my Birthday! Will you blow me tonight?"

... because certain things are better in person. I get it.

[Eddie Coyle]

Did you try the corn flaked thing first?

     Yes. Before we got married. No corn flakes though.

[eddie dean]

... because certain things are better in person. I get it.

Right! Why text a cock pic, when you can show her in person!
If you HAVE to send one, include a title that compliments her or say something nice about her eyes or her outfit, or even her shoes!
Awww, he is so thoughtful!