The Camazotz Automat Storefront

[MV/Liberace!]

There's always this inspiration from his days as an NBA star.

I just love his cute, baggy little mom jeans and PayLess sneakers.  I just want to pinch him.  Maybe see if I can't get him to chuckle or squeak.

[ItsOver]

That Dames pic is going on my VIP laminated ticket lanyard when I attend the Dallas Oddities & Curiosities Expo on March 30.

https://theskeletorium.com/upcoming-events/2019/3/30/the-dallas-oddities-amp-curiosities-expo

Of course, I eventually had to click on said link from above.

'For Lovers of the Strange and Unusual. . .
Introducing for the first time. . .
The Dallas Oddities & Curiosities Expo!

** Vendors with items such as: Taxidermy, wet and dry preserved specimens, antiques, jewelry made from bones, skulls and insects, original artwork, skulls and bones, curiosities and all around creepy, strange and bizarre items. . . * *
** Sideshow performances and Live Human Suspension all throughout the day.
(( More about us: www.odditiesandcuriositiesexpo.com ))"

I'm especially looking forward to the wet and dry preserved specimens.  Also, glad to see live humans will be suspended all throughout the day.  I hope it's both time-wise and spatially.  Speaking off, I think I'll place this pic around my neck, since it seems appropriate.

[ItsOver]

I just love his cute, baggy little mom jeans and PayLess sneakers.  I just want to pinch him.  Maybe see if I can't get him to chuckle or squeak.

He always did look good on a can of paint.

[chefist]

¡Gracias!  I now laugh in the face of impending doom.

That's Ed Dames! Always thought it was Andy Worhal...

[Roswells, Art]

There's always this inspiration from his days as an NBA star.

And that's his good side. From the back he looks like he wore a kippah made from Uranium.

[ItsOver]

That's Ed Dames! Always thought it was Andy Worhal...

That would involve tomato soup cans, not paint cans.

[Camazotz Automat]

I appreciate all those coming by the old store and kicking up dust. Good times. Hopefully, someday, I will put something real up for sale here.

The Dallas Oddities & Curiosities Expo is now a month away. The wife of a friend said she would purchase a ticket for me if I went with them. I could not refuse. She teases her husband that I do not exist, as she has never met me ~in the flesh~.

Boy. Do I plan to strike a memorable first impression with HER.

I should have sufficient time to work on my customized pass.  The expo sent it as a PDF.

I'm old school and want to flash paper instead of a phone screen.

(This adventure may require an Ed Dames wig.  Arriving at the Expo in a mom's soccer van would round out things nicely, per MV's "mom jeans" observation.  If I go through with this charade, I will need to construct some faux gold bricks to keep things "real." Wait. I am getting ahead of myself. Will focus on the ticket construction.)

[Camazotz Automat]

I just gut laughed.  Holy hell do I wish it were possible for me to actually see you do this.

Gut laughs are therapeutic. I am blessed enough to experience it every time I look at my hemorrhaging bank statements, as my finances remain a ~joke.~

In fact, I just laughed again.

I must be living in Xanadu.

[ItsOver]

Gut laughs are therapeutic...
I must be living in Xanadu.

Have an ONJ, on me.

[Camazotz Automat]

Have an ONJ, on me.

Indeed.  And an "O&J" is always supperior to "an OJ".

[Camazotz Automat]

Welcome to Project Omicron?

Wasn't that like a hush hush revolutionary slide film emulsion formula that Kodak never released? Or did I just flip into a different timeline again?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyCd7GKlZfg&feature=youtu.be

[Camazotz Automat]

I am addicted to watching Jeopardy! every weeknight.  Bliss. Astonishment. Dopamine rush.

Side effect: I'm eating more pizza.

I hope Holzhauer reaches $7 million.

But then he needs to cease, before I turn into Goodyear Blimp Camazotz.

Nobody likes a fat bat-god.

[ItsOver]

I am addicted to watching Jeopardy! every weeknight.  Bliss. Astonishment. Dopamine rush.

Side effect: I'm eating more pizza.

I hope Holzhauer reaches $7 million.

But then he needs to cease, before I turn into Goodyear Blimp Camazotz.

Nobody likes a fat bat-god.

Cam!  Welcome back to the BellGab abyss.  I've virtually eliminated pizza, one of the foods of the gods, from my diet, due to the carb overload.  The Atkins low carb pepperoni version isn't bad, though, when enhanced with extra cheese and pico de gallo, AND baked in a proper oven.

These new delicacies from Atkins are like crack, for the sweet side of things, at only 2 grams of carbs.



Thank me with many virgin sacifices on the hallowed alter of Trebek.

[albrecht]

I am addicted to watching Jeopardy! every weeknight.  Bliss. Astonishment. Dopamine rush.

Side effect: I'm eating more pizza.

I hope Holzhauer reaches $7 million.

But then he needs to cease, before I turn into Goodyear Blimp Camazotz.

Nobody likes a fat bat-god.

That guy is a machine although I think the questions have been getting easier over the years.
In some cultures being fat is seen as a plus- proof of wealth and leisure, 

[Camazotz Automat]

Paul McCartney recently performed in Dallas. He played about 38 songs, which added up to 3.5 hours on stage.

He didn't break a sweat.

He took maybe two drinks of water.

He just turned 77.

Oh, the delicious irony of the "PAUL IS DEAD" mythos.

Tangentially, if you think I will be visiting this site when I'm 77, you're jacked in the head. 

I draw the line at 75. At that point in time, I'm punching out of here to Iceland and marrying an ice bunny one-third my age. But I do it for you. 

I sacrifice celibacy at that time for YOU, dear reader.  I do it to pass on the Camazot (the) Automat genes that this planet so desperately needs.

In this way, I will be with you always.

Well, until your world is engulfed by the Sun when it transform into a Red Giant, causing the earth to become nothing but a burned out cinder. A mere hot memory.

There's that.

So enjoy the apparent genetic immortality. While it lasts.

Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

[Dr. MD MD]

Paul McCartney recently performed in Dallas. He played about 38 songs, which added up to 3.5 hours on stage.

He didn't break a sweat.

He took maybe two drinks of water.

He just turned 77.

Oh, the delicious irony of the "PAUL IS DEAD" mythos.

Tangentially, if you think I will be visiting this site when I'm 77, you're jacked in the head. 

I draw the line at 75. At that point in time, I'm punching out of here to Iceland and marrying an ice bunny one-third my age. But I do it for you. 

I sacrifice celibacy at that time for YOU, dear reader.  I do it to pass on the Camazot (the) Automat genes that this planet so desperately needs.

In this way, I will be with you always.

Well, until your world is engulfed by the Sun when it transform into a Red Giant, causing the earth to become nothing but a burned out cinder. A mere hot memory.

There's that.

So enjoy the apparent genetic immortality. While it lasts.

Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

He did die. The guy you saw is Billy Shears...but he’s very good too.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uit5CvrfLoY


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yrLxo-7rNQ

[Camazotz Automat]

Delores Taylor: "Oh, Billy!" in BILLY JACK

Cheryl Smith: "Oh, Billy!" in LASERBLAST

Jimmy Carter: "Oh, Billy!" in MY BROTHER IS SELLING F***ING BEER!

Michael Horn: "Oh, Billy!" in THE ONGOING MISGUIDED SAGA OF A ONE-ARMED SWISS MODEL BUILDER

Paul McCartney: "Oh, Billy!" in SHEARS TAKES A OUIJA BOARD

[Camazotz Automat]

in the tune of "Mary Jane's Last Dance"

oh my my
oh hell yes
gotta ghost-write the final
GOR conquest

[DanTSX]

Wtf camazotz actual is back?


And he’s quoting laserblast and smack talking Paul McCartney?



BEST TIMELINE!

[DanTSX]

Major Dames has a certain amount of swish in his outward appearance.


Lee, what’s the verdict?  Is he a friend of Dorothy?

[Dr. MD MD]

Major Dames has a certain amount of swish in his outward appearance.


Lee, what’s the verdict?  Is he a friend of Dorothy?

They had Kevin Spacey play him in the movie. Do the math.

[paladin1991]

They had Kevin Spacey play him in the movie. Do the math.

Those dance sequences.  Maaaaaaaarvelous!  A real tour de farce.

[Dr. MD MD]

tour de farce.

Should be the FBI’s motto.

[Camazotz Automat]

Wtf camazotz actual is back?

There are those here among you who believe I am twenty-seven different handles on this site board.

This is an exaggeration.

Ask The Food Lithium-ion.

[Camazotz Automat]

I am a serial killer of turkeys.

This year will be no exception.

It's not me. It's a disease.

[ItsOver]

I am a serial killer of turkeys.

This year will be no exception.

It's not me. It's a disease.

When you have turkeys with smoking habits, maybe you're just doing them a favor. 

[Camazotz Automat]

When you have turkeys with smoking habits, maybe you're just doing them a favor. 

The voices of the avian skeletons in the crawlspace haunt me.

[ItsOver]

The voices of the avian skeletons in the crawlspace haunt me.

As they should, Klaus.

[Hog]

I am a serial killer of turkeys.

This year will be no exception.

It's not me. It's a disease.

The turkey is good this year.  Very tasty.

peace
Hog

[Camazotz Automat]

Catching an old Dick Van Dyke episode, I suddenly realized I much prefer Buddy Sorrell's wife over Rob Petrie's.

Her character's nickname was "Pickles."  Too much to process as a young caterpillar so long ago.

But now that I have become a full blown Black Witch moth, I easily process the value of Pickles over Laura and her stuck toe in the bathtub faucet.

We never stop growing.

Until we croak.