Whats Wrong With This Chick?

[ziznak]

MV's latest dysmorphia inspired comments regarding Jennifer Garner has inspired me to try a little game of sorts....

OK lets play "whats wrong with this chick?" featuring MV... (and anybody else who wants to play)

here's how it works...

1. Pick a popular female that you find utterly beautiful and post a pic or little blurb about her. 
2. Watch as the other posters verbally tear her to pieces via citing physical and mental issues or publicly embarrassing situations that may or may not have actually happened.

One of the loves of my life is Emily Blunt... ever since I became obsessed with the latest wolfman movie I've been totally in love with her... er her character in that movie... which is who I think she is in real life of course...  She's got that two-fold sexy/beautiful look which makes her flexible in that I can see her being a total whore in the bedroom while still being a lady in the street.  Still I will offer her up to the gods as my first sacrifice... do with her what you will.

[BobGrau]

physical and mental issues or publicly embarrassing situations that may or may not have actually happened.

These tend to be plus points in my book.

[ziznak]

These tend to be plus points in my book.

ah yesssssss leverage...

[analog kid]

Find something wrong with this woman. I dare you.

[BobGrau]

Find something wrong with this woman. I dare you.

Cider breath and apple-ey farts in the morning.

EDIT: just noticed it's liquor, not cider. Ok, she's perfect.

[ziznak]

no she's not drunk yet! barely touched that 40!

[Eddie Coyle]

 
          Olde English 40 oz = Probably not interested in sex with white men.

[coaster]

Shes beautiful, no doubt about that.

Find something wrong with this woman. I dare you.

A chick who is into cheap booze and geography. been there, done that.
I'm into women like Diane Lane. Even at 47, shes hotter than 99% of other women imo. I'd post a picture, but that requires finding a picture and uploading it, and I'm far too lazy tonight.

[ziznak]

lol I left for one second and the Chewmouse went and removed it's post!?! wtf?
still waiting for M to chime in...

[ChewMouse]

lol I left for one second and the Chewmouse went and removed it's post!?! wtf?
still waiting for M to chime in...

Oh, I just felt I was being unkind. The Mouse is never intentionally rude unless you really deserve it, and none of you guys do.

[Zircon]

Shes beautiful, no doubt about that.

A chick who is into cheap booze and geography. been there, done that.
I'm into women like Diane Lane. Even at 47, shes hotter than 99% of other women imo. I'd post a picture, but that requires finding a picture and uploading it, and I'm far too lazy tonight.

Shes beautiful, no doubt about that.

A chick who is into cheap booze and geography. been there, done that.
I'm into women like Diane Lane. Even at 47, shes hotter than 99% of other women imo. I'd post a picture, but that requires finding a picture and uploading it, and I'm far too lazy tonight.

This is a great thread Ziz. Leave it to you to get it right.

The woman in the dress is gorgeous. Reminds me of that Prince's wife, Kate.

The "woman" with the booze looks like her own dairy farm and will probably have two things happen to her, (1) she'll have back problems and (2) when she gets old, she'll be stepping on her titties since no bra could ever contain four foot "hangers".

[ziznak]

This is a great thread Ziz. Leave it to you to get it right.

The woman in the dress is gorgeous. Reminds me of that Prince's wife, Kate.

The "woman" with the booze looks like her own dairy farm and will probably have two things happen to her, (1) she'll have back problems and (2) when she gets old, she'll be stepping on her titties since no bra could ever contain four foot "hangers".

hahah there ya go Chew!! Zircon just posted 2 of your previously taken back issues with the 40oz  booby girl.

[Zircon]

Thing is that a lot of women don't seem to be too  attractive to men on first glance. But keep this in mind, if a woman is in good shape, loses weight and tones herself up she can be quit attractive as the following three before/after pix show. And who are we men to expect women to be all hot for us? While we complain or hoot and have our eyes pop out when we some chick that is hot, many men eat too many chicken fried steaks, have an overhang and fat guys are far to often seen wearing goatees - makes them look like pigs.

Feast on these "real women" who'd you not give a second glance at in public when they were "before" pix.

[Camazotz Automat]

English actress Marsha Thomason. This is the type of woman, when encountered in the real world, I might very well ask to pose for painting/sketching/photo sessions, at which point she would notify the nearest security guard/cop.

[attachimg=1]

[attachimg=2]

[Zircon]

English actress Marsha Thomason. This is the type of woman, when encountered in the real world, I might very well ask to pose for painting/sketching/photo sessions, at which point she would notify the nearest security guard/cop.

[attachimg=1]

[attachimg=2]

Are you an artist as well? Portraits? If so, that is very interesting. What do you use? Watercolor, pastel, chalk, pencil?

I too do a lot of drawing but mine might be best described as "Dreamscape". Use a lot of blues, purples, greens, aquas, grays with some oranges and other bright colors. Like the nighttime settings, caves, water, sky, forest with subliminal messages in my work. My eldest daughter is the photographer - I am definitely not.

[coaster]

Are you an artist as well? Portraits? If so, that is very interesting. What do you use? Watercolor, pastel, chalk, pencil?

I too do a lot of drawing

Care to share? I'd be interested in seeing some of your stuff. I only ask because I dabble in painting from time to time.

[Camazotz Automat]

Are you an artist as well? Portraits? If so, that is very interesting. What do you use? Watercolor, pastel, chalk, pencil?

Zircon, if I'm going for realism in a portrait I do best with charcoal.  If experimenting with cubism or naive or blind contour, then the media could be anything.

For your preferred subject(s) of dreamscapes or maybe something along the lines of Edvard Munch, then oils are my best weapon. I also like oils for painting a town as seen from the air.

For intricate illustrations of machines or "horror" I mostly use pen and ink.

An upcoming project involves an ancient structure at the bottom of the sea. That will be done in acrylics that border on garish, finished off with an eye-popping glossy shellac. If I can't get what I see in my mind's eye on that project, then I will try an airbrush approach.  (It might all go to hell.)

If doing a more abstract female form then I like watercolors as well, which I may or may not add ink for borders/contours/definition.

As an example of watercolor and black ink: if you made a vague inverted purple pyramid blob but then added hard crescents or full circle outlines of black ink to illustrate grapes within that purple region - as might appear in a Mediterranean courtyard/villa scene. (I'm talking about just a small detail of the painting, not a still life of the grapes alone.)

I show twice a year in a nearby city's art gallery, but have sold only pen and ink work.  Well, I recently sold an acrylic painting, but that was a personal transaction, not through a gallery.

In my world, the art helps in my writing and the writing helps in my art.

A symbiotic dynamic.

Or mutually parasitic.

Six of One, half dozen the other, as in relationships.

*Sorry for the long-ass response - writers' disease.

[attachimg=1]

[ziznak]

I'd like to see yer work too cam...
and honestly I find most average women to be quite hot... Zircon's before pics aren't all that bad IMHO.

[Camazotz Automat]

and honestly I find most average women to be quite hot... Zircon's before pics aren't all that bad IMHO.

Ziznak, I think I can see from your point of view. In those examples Zircon posted, what makes the average/before shots "less attractive" is more about what is being worn and not the bodies themselves. To prove my point to anyone else, mentally remove the clothing. It changes the perception - in my opinion.

Or could it be that I'm just a horn dog?

Six of one...

[attachimg=1]

[ChewMouse]

Cam, Coaster, Zircon: I, too, wish you'd all post some of your work.

As for Zircon's "before" gals in the picture above, I agree that they're quite all right. This from a woman, naturally, but a hint all women know is that when in a bikini (or swimsuit of any type) (or any clothing, now that I think on it) (okay, or nude, now that I thought even more), add heels and turn to the side a bit or cross your legs, raise your arms and SMILE and you'll look 20 pounds slimmer and a lot prettier. Note too the hair in the before shots, skinned back from their faces.

[Camazotz Automat]

As for Zircon's "before" gals in the picture above, I agree that they're quite all right. This from a woman, naturally, but a hint all women know is that when in a bikini (or swimsuit of any type) (or any clothing, now that I think on it) (okay, or nude, now that I thought even more), add heels and turn to the side a bit or cross your legs, raise your arms and SMILE and you'll look 20 pounds slimmer and a lot prettier. Note too the hair in the before shots, skinned back from their faces.

How right you are, and you stated it better. All three on the left are without shoes/heels; their arms are hanging straight down; and their legs are   uncrossed/non-posed.  Also the lighting values are underexposed and drab, etc.

[attachimg=1]

[ziznak]

They also use crappy lighting in the before pics where in the after shots you can tell some thought went into it... and the poses and hair.  I actually think I prefer slightly overweight women... I'm often surprised when I hear what an average weight is according to the medical professions.

[PB the Deplorable]

Find something wrong with this woman. I dare you.

She has 'man hands'

[Zircon]

She has 'man hands'

Honestly, my hands would revert to "teenage boy" hands and be all over her. Ah, youth ... absolutely wasted on the young. If I could go back to 17 with what I know now. Oh My God !!!

[Zircon]

Cam, Coaster, Zircon: I, too, wish you'd all post some of your work.

As for Zircon's "before" gals in the picture above, I agree that they're quite all right. This from a woman, naturally, but a hint all women know is that when in a bikini (or swimsuit of any type) (or any clothing, now that I think on it) (okay, or nude, now that I thought even more), add heels and turn to the side a bit or cross your legs, raise your arms and SMILE and you'll look 20 pounds slimmer and a lot prettier. Note too the hair in the before shots, skinned back from their faces.

I agree that lighting, the pose and hair are not flattering on the "before" pix. But most often, say when you're in the mall the lighting isn't going to be good, women will be tying their hair back (those with kids they're at the store to get food and feed, and they're not going to be wearing heels and a hot dress. If they're standing there with their hands raised and putting on a sultry smile, chances are they might be viewed as "soliciting".

I notice the body-tone with the "after" pictures. My contention is that unless a truck ran over a woman's face at an early age, when they get the proper body/weight ration and tone up, most women are attractive. In fact, I find those hot chicks they show at the beach all strewn out in a "come and get it" pose, aren't my ideal. I want the "girl next door" or the "plain Jane" type. My wife is very pretty (especially when I met her) but isn't a hot model type. She was a cheerleader in HS in southern California so you can get an idea of what I mean by pretty. I'd actually feel uncomfortable with one of those Vitoria Secret types because every dude around would be "sniffing" to see if he could get lucky.

[Zircon]

I am into a healthy look. I would prefer perfect symmetry in the face but that doesn't happen too often. All of us have slight flaws and that is what makes us who we are. I like that.

My ideal woman's face and hair: Brunette, eyes that captivate, dominant or can be made to be. Green or brown eyes. A straight nose and full lips. A "cupid's bow" is kinda cute (my wife has one). A nice jaw line like Sandra Bullock and a nice neck.

Height and Proportions: Between 5'4 and 5'7. Trending towards "short waisted" or longer legs as far as total body height. I like a woman that has some meat on them. Not chunky but not skinny. About a Size 8-10 (roughly a 26"-28" waist). Nice hips and butt but not a JayLo or Kardashian - definitely too big.

Sexual Attributes: I am not into big boobs. I like nice large-B or small-C breasts. A bit of cleavage is nice but that would be for her satisfaction and mine - not a public advertisement like some I see flaunting around. A woman that likes her neck and ears to be kissed. The small bump around the uterus area. A "natural" woman - one who hasn't engaged in "deforestation". One who is into foreplay.

I think I need to get laid about now. Ending this.

[Frys Girl]

          Olde English 40 oz = Probably not interested in sex with white men.

Ahahahahahaha. Eddie eddie eddie. Too funny. Probably true.

[Frys Girl]

I am into a healthy look. I would prefer perfect symmetry in the face but that doesn't happen too often. All of us have slight flaws and that is what makes us who we are. I like that.

My ideal woman's face and hair: Brunette, eyes that captivate, dominant or can be made to be. Green or brown eyes. A straight nose and full lips. A "cupid's bow" is kinda cute (my wife has one). A nice jaw line like Sandra Bullock and a nice neck.

Height and Proportions: Between 5'4 and 5'7. Trending towards "short waisted" or longer legs as far as total body height. I like a woman that has some meat on them. Not chunky but not skinny. About a Size 8-10 (roughly a 26"-28" waist). Nice hips and butt but not a JayLo or Kardashian - definitely too big.

Sexual Attributes: I am not into big boobs. I like nice large-B or small-C breasts. A bit of cleavage is nice but that would be for her satisfaction and mine - not a public advertisement like some I see flaunting around. A woman that likes her neck and ears to be kissed. The small bump around the uterus area. A "natural" woman - one who hasn't engaged in "deforestation". One who is into foreplay.

I think I need to get laid about now. Ending this.

WTF? Is your name Dough Hutchinson? This isn't eharmony.com. I did not need to know what cup size you like. Gross. Jesus what is happening on this site.

[Zircon]

WTF? Is your name Dough Hutchinson? This isn't eharmony.com. I did not need to know what cup size you like. Gross. Jesus what is happening on this site.

Hey, I broke it down to face, body and sexual attributes. "Cup size" bothers you? Have you seen the pix here and read some of the comments? "Gross"? Com'on, get real.

[ziznak]

WTF? Is your name Dough Hutchinson? This isn't eharmony.com. I did not need to know what cup size you like. Gross. Jesus what is happening on this site.

lol sardondi just wrote a whole page on labia !! welcome to the new coastgab