George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[MV/Liberace!]

Yep, gotta say that was a stunner I'll never forget. In the space of 5 seconds it was, "YAAAAY! Huh? A survivor! Noooo!!! Run, Walt!! WHAT...THE...WHAT?!?!? Uh, yaaaaay?"

lol, fucking awesome.  that was exactly my reaction.

[ItsOver]

I loved the guest's response when George asked him something about combining fish and human genes to create a "fish man."

The guest, a British geneticist, stunned by the sheer stupidity of the question said, "I had forgotten what it's like to be a guest on your show."

Classic.     I wish I could forget what it's like to be a listener.

[VtaGeezer]

Before all that is holy, please may this be so. This quote, if it exists, must be found. For if it can be established, whole new vistas open before those who love to detest The Idiot Boy of Motor City. Countless blogs would find new mottoes; someone is waiting to be made rich from sales of emblazoned t-shirts, hoodies, ball caps and ther like.

He said it. I heard it too.

[WOTR]

I just thought of a new thread :

But can't think of anything in the category right now :

Top 10 things you'd rather be doing than listening to George Noory :

It is kind of funny you bring it up. The last few shows that I have listened to (Noory and J.B) had Terri Clarks song running through my head as I reached for the power off button on the radio.  Really, #8 pretty much sums up my feelings towards c2c presently.  Sadly, she only lists 8 individual things better than listening to the pair of clowns.

1. I could wash my car in the rain
2. Change my new guitar strings
3. Mow the yard just the same as I did yesterday
4. I'd love to talk to you, but then, I'd miss Donahue
5. Check the air in my tires
6. Straighten my stereo wires
7. Count the stars in the sky
8. or just get on with my life
Terri Clark - Better Things To Do

[aldousburbank]

Wow, this Tesla Reincarnated guy is so out-of-it that it prompted me to finally make an account just so I could join in the "Wait, what?" conversation.

Holy moly.

I have a friend who is close to Dr. Flanagan's circle who informs me that he is actually a reincarnated mix of Tesla and Willie Wonka.

[Morgus]

Noory is doing another of his one hour weight-loss infomercials the first hour of c2c tonight.
So I am going to follow Art Bell's command to "TURN THAT RADIO OFF"

[CoastCanuck]

I just noticed in Noory's upcoming schedule on the C2C website that he will be at a show in Minneapolis in Oct... Punnett is listed as a speaker also...

[Morgus]

Looks like Noory is again stealing one of the other c2c hosts recent guests for his own tonight.
The main guest Noory added at the last minute for tonight's c2c looked familiar, its Chase Brandon who as a CIA agent claimed to have seen some evidence from the 1947 Roswell UFO crash.
Chase Brandon was John B. Wells main c2c guest less than 3 weeks ago on Wells regular Sat night c2  show...

[HAL 9000]

I loved the guest's response when George asked him something about combining fish and human genes to create a "fish man." The guest, a British geneticist, stunned by the sheer stupidity of the question said, "I had forgotten what it's like to be a guest on your show."

This is a must download/listen. It is perhaps the dumbest I have ever heard the One-Neuron Nooron. The clip is from the quote above regarding Snoory and genetics. See attached mp3 (for you guest losers out there, become a member so you can hear it too):


[attachment deleted by admin]

[DangerousBlossom]

Noory is doing another of his one hour weight-loss infomercials the first hour of c2c tonight.
So I am going to follow Art Bell's command to "TURN THAT RADIO OFF"

No, don't do it.  The ex-overweight guest just gave some incredible information: he said he began cutting all his typical portions in half and then started losing weight!  Then he added, "calories count."  Who would have guessed?  I am waiting for the weekly specials on traffic safety advising people to look before crossing the street.

[Morgus]

Noory tonight made the unbelievable claim that he lost so much weight from that PX90 or whatever exercise routine last year that he felt he was too thin and had to put more weight on.
Yeah, for sure Noory, we know the real reason was you couldn't keep up with the plan and had to eat some junk food.

[DangerousBlossom]

George just said (Friday morning, 12:44am PT) that when young he wanted to be a CIA agent, but then decided to go into broadcasting instead.

[WOTR]

I loved when George cut off the caller from Portland.  After she asked about blood type she began to ask about drinking water when you are hungry.  You could actually hear George drop the call and tell the guest he was just about to ask about water.  Finally, after rambling about blood type AB / O, the caller asked a good question and good ol George snagged it as his.  I do not know why that actually bothered me- perhaps it is because caring George keeps claiming how much respect he has for people.

... I am waiting for the weekly specials on traffic safety advising people to look before crossing the street.

Yeah, and try to stop for the red lights as well.  That had to be the worst weight loss program I have ever heard.  Did they even mention being active (I was in and out of the house and had not heard any mention of activity- just how George often shares a meal with his producer and is slim, trim and in shape now...)

[Sardondi]

No, don't do it.  The ex-overweight guest just gave some incredible information: he said he began cutting all his typical portions in half and then started losing weight!  Then he added, "calories count."  Who would have guessed?  I am waiting for the weekly specials on traffic safety advising people to look before crossing the street.

It's 2:30 in the morning and you've got me laughing like an idiot.....

Noory tonight made the unbelievable claim that he lost so much weight from that PX90 or whatever exercise routine last year that he felt he was too thin and had to put more weight on...

Yeah, and in 3rd Grade, I told everyone about the chimpanzee I used to have when I was at another school (and there was no one to check with about the story being true or not). Yep, I told a wide-eyed throng about "Benny the Chimp", who waited patiently by the road every day to meet me at my school bus. When I got off he'd turn happy flips and make those chimp screams we all knew from watching Cheetah in the ancient Tarzan movies. Then, hand-in-hand, he'd walk me into our house, where he had his own room. But I, uh, couldn't show him to anybody because he, uh...he got hit by a car, one day. Yeah, that's it.

But I was not yet a master fabulist in the 3rd Grade, and I had somehow completely overlooked that there was one other kid in my class who had been at the other school with me...and he had even ridden on the same bus with me every day. You can imagine the exquisite pain for me as he eagerly told the assembled crowd, which moments before had credulously lapped up the chimp story, that he had never seen any goddam monkey walking with me anywhere. Zombies are nothing for tearing you limb from limb like a mob of kids who have caught you playing the big man to them. My stock never recovered that year. 

So there's sort of a connection between my chimp story and George's miraculous clap off/clap on weight fluctuations because of the PX90 program, in that he's told us a whopper he thinks he can get away with because he thinks no one can check the truth. Except we all went to school with him, and there wasn't any damn monkey.

Because if George had really been on that killer PX90 program...and physically it looked so hellishly brutal I don't think he could have really done it for one day...., and if he had "lost so much weight" (How much was that, George? 30 pounds? 20? 5? You never told us,) that he had to put some back on, isn't that something George would have told the universe about, and immediately? Heck, even if he hadn't had the unheard of experience of having to gain weight because he had "lost too much", he would have been telling the world "Wow! Lost another 2 ounces this morning!". Does anyone recall George telling anything like this? I can see how he might have kept at it for a little while maybe. But there's no way in hell he ever said, "I've lost so much I've got to eat like a pig right away!".

And George and his lost/regained weight walked hand-in-hand into the house....

[Kaiborg]

George just said (Friday morning, 12:44am PT) that when young he wanted to be a CIA agent, but then decided to go into broadcasting instead.

Oh sweet jesus, I caught that too.  I instantly imagined GN trying to pass himself off as a terrorist using "broken Arabic", and the brutal horrors that would ensue.  We should push for a "Team America" sequel starring simple George.  Or perhaps "Spies Like Us" reboot.  Did the CIA guest get booted?  Why am I still listening to this... 

[WOTR]

And George and his lost/regained weight walked hand-in-hand into the house....

Putting George into your story has to have been the best thing I have read in a week.  Thanks.

George just said (Friday morning, 12:44am PT) that when young he wanted to be a CIA agent, but then decided to go into broadcasting instead.

After reading that George wanted to be a CIA agent I questioned why... then I heard the guest introduce his vision of the CIA to the listening audience.  Words such as motivated, talented and remarkable were uttered in connection to the other agents that the guest knew.  Suddenly I understood where George got the idea that he, too could have been an agent.  I think that he began to fantasize at that moment of the life of danger and daring that agent George could have had rising through the ranks to make director at the CIA.  This fantasy continued until he had to blurt out that it was a toss up between brilliant CIA agent and incompetent, second rate radio host.

That is it, I cannot do it anymore tonight.  Goodbye George, hello CBC.

[WOTR]

We should push for a "Team America" sequel starring simple George.  Or perhaps "Spies Like Us" reboot.  Did the CIA guest get booted?  Why am I still listening to this... 

A sequel to the pink panther staring bungling George mangling the English language seems a little more appropriate.  Simple George could tell the story about his minkey waiting at a bus stop...

[Morgus]

Noory made it thru the last hour with storyteller Lionel Fanthorpe without asking him to tell the story of Springheeled Jack for the umpteenth time.
He must have run out of time...

[Sardondi]

I think that he began to fantasize at that moment of the life of danger and daring that agent George could have had rising through the ranks to make director at the CIA....

♪♫There's a man who leads a life of danger...♫♪

http://youtu.be/XG-VChTYfOk

...I think that he began to fantasize at that moment of the life of danger and daring that agent George could have had rising through the ranks to make director at the CIA....

And the women - don't forget the women.

A sequel to the pink panther staring bungling George mangling the English language seems a little more appropriate.  Simple George could tell the story about his minkey waiting at a bus stop...

And somehow you've got me laughing at my own story....

[stevesh]

Last night, during his first-hour 'news' segment, Simple George read a story about a meatball company which had to recall a ton of their product due to wisteria contamination. His 'food safety expert' who came on to pontificate about the story (and managed to mention that 'dry' food can't be contaminated) ? Steve Shenk, CEO of efoodsdirect, one of C2C's biggest advertisers. At long last, do these people have no shame ?

[Sardondi]

Last night, during his first-hour 'news' segment, Simple George read a story about a meatball company which had to recall a ton of their product due to wisteria contamination. His 'food safety expert' who came on to pontificate about the story (and managed to mention that 'dry' food can't be contaminated) ? Steve Shenk, CEO of efoodsdirect, one of C2C's biggest advertisers. At long last, do these people have no shame ?

Shame on you: you're obviously a "hater" and you "need to get a life". How could you hate George so much as to point out that he is using an advertiser to present himself as an industry "expert". and then use that apparent position of trust and authority to try to destroy the reputation of a competitor; and then also use that counterfeit authority and trust to pump up his own product.

Wow. What a hater you are.

*edit* BTW, the bug referred to is probably "Listeria", which is a very common bacteria that can attack meat products. Easy to mis-hear. Or maybe the Desperate Housewives are trying to poison someone.

[stevesh]

Wow. What a hater you are.

And I wear that sobriquet proudly. We need t-shirts.

[ItsOver]

George just said (Friday morning, 12:44am PT) that when young he wanted to be a CIA agent, but then decided to go into broadcasting instead.

The loss of the security of the U.S. is our gain. Oh joy. 

[VtaGeezer]

Chase Brandon is really beating the bushes for book buyers.  If it's as dull as he was, that's no surprise. He was on "Daybreak USA" this AM, just two hours after pontificating to Noory on C2C.

[WOTR]

Last night, during his first-hour 'news' segment, Simple George read a story about a meatball company which had to recall a ton of their product due to wisteria contamination. His 'food safety expert' who came on to pontificate about the story (and managed to mention that 'dry' food can't be contaminated) ? Steve Shenk, CEO of efoodsdirect, one of C2C's biggest advertisers. At long last, do these people have no shame ?

Thanks for helping make that statement begin to make sense.  I was dumb enough to believe that the so called expert food safety guest was somebody connected to food safety and not some huckster trying to flog his goods.  I do not think that I missed it- George did not say anything in the introduction about his expert being CEO of efoodsdirect, did he?

I was trying to figure out what dry food had to do with contaminated meatballs.  Now I understand...

[thefamilyghost]

Tonight it's death, death, and more death, with George Noory. Every caller, every anecdote George tells, someone dies at a young age.

Then George mentions the death of a moderator from the fantastic forum and the fantastic forum 2, and says some nice words about her, then in the same breath begins reading an advertisement for CCrane radios...it went something like this:


"...She has lost us. She will be missed by many friends, family, and many others. A great coast to coast fan and a fan of the show since its inception. She will be missed. What would happen in an emergency when the power goes out and you need to communicate? There's a simple solution- CCrane radios..."

The guy is a robot.

[thefamilyghost]

Also, George very obviously cut off a young open-lines caller who was rambling and nervous and I don't know what he was talking about but all of a sudden there was split-second of silence and then "Well we lost so-and-so, they had a bad connection. Let's go to ________ in _______, what's on your mind?"

Didn't even have the spine to say 'Get to your point, kid'. Lying is always easier.

[Jasmine]

This is a must download/listen. It is perhaps the dumbest I have ever heard the One-Neuron Nooron. The clip is from the quote above regarding Snoory and genetics. See attached mp3 (for you guest losers out there, become a member so you can hear it too):

FISH MAN!  LOL! Okay...I'm almost reaching the point where I can safely say I've heard it all from Noory...or, is there more to come?

And what cracked me up even more was George's response to the guest after he made the comment "I've forgotten what it's like to be a guest on your show...". Snoory, as usual, has his brains up his ass as he replies, "That's right!"

Lord love a duck.

[Sardondi]

This is a must download/listen. It is perhaps the dumbest I have ever heard the One-Neuron Nooron. The clip is from the quote above regarding Snoory and genetics. See attached mp3 (for you guest losers out there, become a member so you can hear it too):

God bless that British educated-class sense of understatement, in which shattering insults can be deftly conveyed with a left-handed compliment and a wry smile. Here the "I've forgotten what it's like to be on your show" is, by itself, a wickedly funny evisceration of Noory about his cretinous questions.

But what makes it more delicious is that George, totally unequipped to detect Sykes's subtlety and thus blithely ignorant of the fact that Sykes had indeed just disemboweled him in front of milli...uh, hundreds of....uh, a bunch of listeners, thought he was being complimented by Sykes! We can tell from Noory's excited "Yeaah!" that he obviously thought Sykes was impressed by George's "provocative" questions. You can feel George get excited over this, and almost hear his inner monologuing: "Yes! The night Big George turned the Oxford scientist into a quivering blob of jelly with his brilliant questions! Git some, yeah!"   

Can you believe the stupidity of this man?!

[ziznak]

Can you believe the stupidity of this man?!

Yup... We sure can... that was a great clip from the genetics show it was probly the best to represent that interview but if you check the "whole" interview out it's even better.  I remember half listening and then hitting a number of jarring subconscious speed bumps as Noory time and time again asked his childish questions... Can't have a genetics Doctor on without mentioning "Jurassic Park" can we? 
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