George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[BobGrau]

If they'd had any sense whatsoever they would have invited art to call in briefly on the subject. That would have been a ratings win win win.

"next up on open lines we have Art from Nevad- oh shit, GO TO COMMERCIAL TOMMEEE!"

[rangers1919]

i haven't.  time to hit netflix...

It is good, sorry if I spoiled anything by saying it was time travel, but I don't think it really does. The movie was made on an estimated budget of only $7,000.

[Treading Water]

"Oh, you mentioned something I recognize, let me derail the momentum of the topic going anywhere as I shoehorn in a moronic shiny key observation to kill airtime before my next sponsor read..."

Sometimes when I'm reading (a book, a magazine article, a forum post) something jumps out at me and screams "BRILLIANT"!! 
This was one of those times.   
BTW I also love your name.  How perfect.

[Lunger]

really?  as a conservative, i usually feel outnumbered on this forum.

I have always considered myself a Fiscally Conservative Libertarian

[Lovely Bones]

I've got a great parakeet story:)  About 100 years ago, when my grandfather first came to the US, he stayed with his older cousins, who were cheap shits.  One thing that his cousins monitored closely was the amount of food my grandfather consumed, which was torture for a strapping 19 year old man.  My grandfather's cousins had a parakeet who would always say, when my grandfather would sneak food out of the icebox, "Stephen!  Don't take that food!"  The parakeet would narc on my grandfather to his cousins about the food theft.  For this reason, I think that a parakeet definitely is smarter than Noory.

Are we doing parakeet stories this week?  I've been absent.

We had a number of them when I was growing up, one named Dimwit.  This story is not about Dimwit.

A different bird could have been named Einstein.  He had learned to do a wolf whistle and to say, following the whistle, "Hey, Babe!"  He'd also picked up on his own a common phrase around our house, "Where's that big ugly dog?" (a reference to our beautiful German Shepherd).

One morning my mother came out to the dining room where the bird cages were, wearing a night gown and bathrobe, and uncovered the parakeet cage.  "Einstein" did a wolf whistle and said in as clear a voice as you could ask for

WHERE'S THAT BIG UGLY BABE???

We never did figure out how he managed to rearrange his phrases and get things syntactically correct as well as situationally appropriate for my mother's attire, but it's made for a good family parakeet story.  And yes, he was smarter than Noory. 

[Lovely Bones]

The fact you give access to all and freely also speaks to a liberal bent.

Maybe libertarian more than liberal? 

[fabucat]

I turned out to be a fiscal conservative.  I loved the Beatles when they first came out and I come from the Midwest.  Stereotypes about conservatives are usually false.  I thought the Beatles were cute, especially liked John.  Later I was into Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell.  What kind of music do you think conservatives liked?  Don't you know that rock stars are capitalists par excellence?  Mick Jagger spent one year at the London School of Economics and is a very good businessman.

I'm differentiating cultural conservatives from political ones.  I'm sure you loved the Beatles, but I'm betting that your parents didn't.  Neither did my Democratic parents.  Rock stars and sports stars are shitty capitalists compared to hedge fund managers. 

[Frys Girl]

I heard the exchange in which Joshua P. Warren suggested Rush may have sent George Noory a gift since Rush bought Art that Alien statue. It got me thinking.


In 2008, Rush Limbaugh got a puppy. I hope that if he sent George Noory a gift, it was poop sample like those you take to the vet or a messy ear swab with mites. George doesn't deserve anything for his radio career. He's terrible and should not be acknowledged. It's so sad that perfectly good DJs are out there and do not get the opportunity to host.


Also, Joshua P. Warren needs to cut the over-the-top introductions to his segments with George. He's always starting with "George, I just want to warn this audience that what I will be telling them is blood curdling and so frightening that your cat may even scream. Listen at your own risk."


Joshua P. Warren, former attorney, that's a warning fit for the pre-Coast to Toast AM show about GEORGE NOORY himself.

[Flaxen Hegemony]

It has been nice reading so many nuanced political opinions expressed on this forum, especially on an internet where Happy Meal style news sources continue to proliferate.  A lot of folks out there seem to get caught up in one or two websites that cater to their worldview, allowing them to exchange critical thinking for comfort.  Cognitive dissonance and all that jazz, I suppose.

(By the way, I'm new, and decided to finally pop in, having lurked for almost a year now.)

[PB the Deplorable]

Are we doing parakeet stories this week?  I've been absent.

We had a number of them when I was growing up, one named Dimwit.  This story is not about Dimwit.

A different bird could have been named Einstein.  He had learned to do a wolf whistle and to say, following the whistle, "Hey, Babe!"...

George was wondering if he can take that parakeet over to Hooters with him.  Having Tommy along isn't working..

[onan]

It has been nice reading so many nuanced political opinions expressed on this forum, especially on an internet where Happy Meal style news sources continue to proliferate.  A lot of folks out there seem to get caught up in one or two websites that cater to their worldview, allowing them to exchange critical thinking for comfort.  Cognitive dissonance and all that jazz, I suppose.

(By the way, I'm new, and decided to finally pop in, having lurked for almost a year now.)

Welcome, always good to have new perspectives.

[Frys Girl]

George Noory's bad jokes continue.


Here he is at the 2011 2012 conference. I highly recommend listening to the point where Noory introduces Sean David Morton. I posted this elsewhere, but it covers the topic of this thread. VOILA:

George Noory: The 2012 Panel P1

[Lovely Bones]

George was wondering if he can take that parakeet over to Hooters with him.  Having Tommy along isn't working..

The parakeet would get the girls.  Not George. 

[hosehead]

I have read this thread over the past couple of weeks.  Rather cathartic knowing I am not alone.

What are the ratings like these days?  I realize he is playing for a different audience than Art Bell's, but it really is painful. 

The most annoying part of his on-air persona is his voice inflection, especially when he asks those moronic questions to his guests.

[MV/Liberace!]

It has been nice reading so many nuanced political opinions expressed on this forum, especially on an internet where Happy Meal style news sources continue to proliferate.  A lot of folks out there seem to get caught up in one or two websites that cater to their worldview, allowing them to exchange critical thinking for comfort.  Cognitive dissonance and all that jazz, I suppose.

(By the way, I'm new, and decided to finally pop in, having lurked for almost a year now.)

Wow, a year, eh? Anyway, welcome to the forums and please post often.

Sent from my Droid X.

[NefariousBanana]

Currently trolling a girl on twitter whos bragging about having lunch with george noory.  awww, did tommy set up the date via streamlink for that lonely bastard?  @nefariousbanana

[Pseudonaut]

George was wondering if he can take that parakeet over to Hooters with him.  Having Tommy along isn't working..

I'm proud to state here, for the record, that I am the Los Angeles-based originator of the infamous George Noory Hooters story!

Shall I tell it again?

[Morgus]

Noory's ugly mug showed up again on tonight's new episode of Ancient Aliens on the History Channel.
He spouted off about Sitchen and aliens creating humans from apes to act as their slaves to mind gold.
With their advanced technology couldn't they create and use more efficient robots?

[Pseudonaut]

George (interrupting Brad Steiger in mid sentence): "Can you imagine being on a boat... and seeing a UFO... just SMASHING out of the water?"


...?

[Flaxen Hegemony]

I swear, if you compressed a month's worth of Noory's transcripts, the resulting ZIP file would be 78 bytes.  His repetition is mind-numbing.  George may be the only HUMAN not to pass the Turing test.

[Morgus]

The C2C producers could have made an audio soundboard with recordings of Noory's list of catch phrases and questions.
Then they just need somebody to push buttons during the interviews - same as having Noory there live...

[PB the Deplorable]

I'm proud to state here, for the record, that I am the Los Angeles-based originator of the infamous George Noory Hooters story!

Shall I tell it again?

Of course!

[HAL 9000]

I swear, if you compressed a month's worth of Noory's transcripts, the resulting ZIP file would be 78 bytes.  His repetition is mind-numbing.

I'll have to say, that would be quite an accomplishment, even for the Snoron.

I took a zero-byte file and compressed it with the latest versions (64-bit when available) of WinZIP, WinRAR, and 7-zip, with the following results:

RAR: 74 bytes
7z: 88 bytes
ZIP: 154 bytes

The implication is that, a month's worth of Snoron's transcripts actually result in an irrational number (come to think of it, I would suggest this is empirically provable on a nightly basis), as ZIPing a month of his transcripts would actually result in a SMALLER file than ZIPing a file containing NOTHING.

[Morgus]

Noory is such a major prude.
In the last hour with callers tonight he complained about a caller telling about his alien abduction experience and saying he "pee-ed in his pants"
Noory said he isn't comfortable with people saying things like that on his show.
He should be hosting a children's show then instead, not a late night adult radio show. 

[Scully]

Noory is such a major prude.
In the last hour with callers tonight he complained about a caller telling about his alien abduction experience and saying he "pee-ed in his pants"
Noory said he isn't comfortable with people saying things like that on his show.
He should be hosting a children's show then instead, not a late night adult radio show. 

Noory has some kind of major aversion to things that don't even offend the average grandmother.  Maybe he had toilet-training issues.  :

[srnightowl]

 
Noory has some kind of major aversion to things that don't even offend the average grandmother.  Maybe he had toilet-training issues.  :
[/quote]

Noory really was a DICK tonight...

[valdez]

Noory is such a major prude.
In the last hour with callers tonight he complained about a caller telling about his alien abduction experience and saying he "pee-ed in his pants"
Noory said he isn't comfortable with people saying things like that on his show.
He should be hosting a children's show then instead, not a late night adult radio show. 

Noory has some kind of major aversion to things that don't even offend the average grandmother.  Maybe he had toilet-training issues.  :

Five guest (not including the news segment folks).  I wrote a while back that Noory is better suited for the 10 minute interview, and while these weren't that short it seems it wouldn't matter much because the man just sucks.  Brad Steiger, Kim Carlsberg (a cutie, nice website), Travis Walton, Robert Miles, and Miriam Delicado all talking about their alien abduction experiences.  A complete mess of a show.  The only highlight was caller Robert, from Norway, who pissed in his pants during his abduction.  He mentioned this three times and that's when Truth Seeker George sent him packing.  Truth Seeker not like stories involving bodily fuilds.

[Camper]

The first thing Kim Carlsberg said was that she was checking her email before the interview even started and that she was already getting hate mail. George told her that "there is haters out there and that they are 15 year old kids with nothing to do."

Noory really has a weird obsession with children.   

[Master_of_Reality]

Wasn't there yet another "spirited" reference by Snoory about the studio in Hawaii during last nights show? I was half asleep (hard to be otherwise during his shows) when I heard the reference which had nothing to do with the conversation with the guest other than a mention of HI as a location of the incident while telling her story.

Any slightest window of opportunity to talk about the HI studio, he seizes it. Boring Snoory, just boring. 

[Frys Girl]

Noory is such a major prude.
In the last hour with callers tonight he complained about a caller telling about his alien abduction experience and saying he "pee-ed in his pants"
Noory said he isn't comfortable with people saying things like that on his show.
He should be hosting a children's show then instead, not a late night adult radio show. 

People like this often have the most to hide in life. That's really odd. Wow.