George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Supernormal]

Is it me, or is this interview really dull...?

It's not the "interviewee". It's the interview*er*.

[The Professor]

I'm no expert, But I'm guessing lots more
Ghosts in Illinois than Ohio...


Also, sorry for occasional odd words, my
iPhone autocorrects things...the one that
Makes me think it has a mind is that
Noron gets replaced by moron...

[The Professor]

odd, noory wants to talk about evil...who would have guessed...

[The Professor]

You cannot achieve the same excellence as you had with Steven Quayle last night, don't be so hard on the host.

Yea, I guess I need to reset my lunacy meter...

[The Professor]

Is there going to be a sign that the guests actually
Knows anything about ghosts?

[Supernormal]

odd, noory wants to talk about evil...who would have guessed...

It wouldn't take Cassandra. Ronnie Milsap and Stevie Wonder could have seen it coming. Noory just mentioned the story about a pessimistic woman's chances for health problems. It's quite ironic that he sounds like one much of the time.

[Supernormal]

Is there going to be a sign that the guests actually
Knows anything about ghosts?

I guess that the sign would be me turning off the show. Even if the guest was on track, Noory would derail the ghost train.

[EvB]

Is there going to be a sign that the guests actually
Knows anything about ghosts?

He knows about the fancy equipment they use on the TV ghost hunting shows - vans and boxes of "stuff."  ;

[The Professor]

I've seen Ghostbusters three times... Can I be a ghost hunter too?

[Supernormal]

He knows about the fancy equipment they use on the TV ghost hunting shows - vans and boxes of "stuff."  ;

That just reminded me. Will Noory mention Frank's Box tonight?

[EvB]

I've seen Ghostbusters three times... Can I be a ghost hunter too?

No SILLY!  - that was FAKE equipment - this is REAL equopment like the use for TAPS  ;

[Supernormal]

There are seven members on-line. Don't be shy and withdrawn. Join the party. I'm assuming that you're not comatose.

[MABUSE]

No SILLY!  - that was FAKE equipment - this is REAL equopment like the use for TAPS  ;

Now THERE'S a corking good idea!  Let's get the TAPS saps on with the Gilded Turd and have a smarmfest shill-off!  With any luck Tommy poodle can come up with bad "scary" soundtracking for revelatory moments of the show just like Ghosthunters does (and mask anything that might actually be interesting at the same time).  Maybe they can get a thermal scan of his "gut" during the obligatory 2012 conversation and then Trick Dick Hoaxland can come on and explain the physics of it all.  That would be one helluva night!

**M**

[The Professor]

Alright, time for the codeine caugh syrup again...maybe now
Things will pick up...

[Pirate King Atomsk]

Alright, time for the codeine caugh syrup again...maybe now
Things will pick up...

I'd like to pour a bit of that on...

WOOAAAHHHHH.

[The Professor]

bad "scary" soundtracking for revelatory moments of the show just like Ghosthunters does (and mask anything that might actually be interesting at the same time).  Maybe they can get a thermal scan of his "gut" during the obligatory 2012 conversation and then Trick Dick Hoaxland can come on and explain the physics of it all.  That would be one helluva night!

**M**

I think I heard that show already...

[MABUSE]

OK I tuned in, and NOW he's talking about cultural aspects of ghost stories...
Japanese ghost stories?  GIMME a break!  30 seconds of trite drivel that is mostly innacurate...The RING as a point of reference for cultural anthropology now...Who does he think he is? Lafcadio Hearn?
I simply can't put up with this nonsense...I am out--or at least gonna turn it off.

MM*MM

[The Professor]

Noory brings it back to Hollywood again... He's such a scholar...

[MABUSE]

GN: "People like to get scared!"

Yeah George, but not in the way Coast is scary now...

**M**

[EvB]

Why does Hollywood like scary ghost, John?

Gosh George - I dunno - maybe they are media whores!

[EvB]

The RING as a point of reference for cultural anthropology now

There must be a God - I missed that one!

Thank You LORD!

[MABUSE]

oh great...
Theology, religious philosophy, existential ethics and morality as discussed on Coast to Coast...
Ole George is so out of his depth...
so how long until 2012, Illuminati, or Nibiru rear their hackneyed heads to restore the balance?
No I am REALLY tuning out now...

**M**

[EvB]

Oh My Gawd - it's turned into "Comparative Religion and Life After Death, 101"

See Casper.  See Casper run.  Run, Casper, Run!

[11angeleyes11]

The tone has been set for this hour, I just heard the bumper music song "Spirit in the Sky."  There seems to have been a lot of those kinds of coincidences lately. 

[The Professor]

Wow, I took that cough syrup  at midnight, laying here
In bed, and now things are getting a little weird...

I hear bells ringing, many bells like on cat collars...

Whoa! A shadowy  dark spectre just appeared at the
Foot of my bed!!! And he surrounded by cats with
Little kitty bell collars...

Spirit, who are you!!! Show yourself...

He's removing his hood...it's ...it's... It's ... Art Bell!! Or,
At least his disincarnate spirit...

Now he's talking---I wish the cats would quiet down
So I can hear---he says tonight I will be visited by three
Spirits, who will show me the past, present and future
Of Coast...and now he's gone!

Wow...I'm taking another hit of cough syrup...

[EvB]

Woah - that's some syrup!

[11angeleyes11]

Who is it under the hood?  The Ghost of Good Coasts Past, or the Future Phantasim of Fantasic Ghosts, I mean Coasts, to Come?

[EvB]

If that asshole asks about "spirit bells" after this bumper - I'm gonna go postal.

Note to future self - the bumper was the early Beatles recording "Till there was You"

[MABUSE]

If that asshole asks about "spirit bells" after this bumper - I'm gonna go postal.

I'll go with ya, hell, I'll even reload for ya if you want!  The option doesn't bear considering.
damn I give up, my Gif won't work!!!!  grumpgrumpgrump




**M**

[The Professor]

Damn it, my wife is asleep and wont wake up...but I'm ready...

wait, a glowing light is at the foot of the bed...its growing, beautiful, it
looks like its forming into some sort of angel, all aglow with warm, soft light, with a flowing white robe and long blond hair, and ... an oddly long neck...

Rollye James!?! is that you?

[RJ] Yes, Professor,  I am the Host of Coast-to-Coast past.

Yeah, you got canned two years ago!? But you are still alive, right?

[RJ] Yes, alive and well on XM. And I quit, by the way---not canned---because I couldn't stand working with that moron Noory and his ship of fools.

Spirit, er, Host, what lesson have you come to teach me tonight.

[RJ] Turn your dial to 420 AM, Professor.

But there is no 420 AM, the dial ends at 500...wait, it does seem to be picking
something up, hold on,  I've got it really clear now! Its Art Bell! Are they running the Somewhere-in-time-shows 24 hours a day on this channel? Great!...

<radio: Next up, west of the Rockies: Lets have your ghost story...>

[RJ] No, we are back on Halloween night in 1995, and you are listening to the first "Ghost-to-Ghost" show....

Oh, those were incredible, Host of Coast-to-coast past, those were ghost shows! I don't believe in ghosts at all, but I would get goose skin listening to
those stories, and Bell would set such a creepy, round-the-campfire tone. Wow, I remember driving through the desert on night, listening to Art Bell do
ghost stories. I could have gone eall night, it was riveting...wait, my 420 AM signal is breaking up, its getting all staticky...Spirit, can you move to the left
a few feet, and maybe tone down your aura...I'm losing it...damn! Its gone...

Spirit!? She's gone too!