Bakegab: The Bellgab Bakeshop

[Jackstar]

Canola oil, perhaps.

Taking "kys, degenerate" to a whole new level.

[DanTSX]

Taking "kys, degenerate" to a whole new level.

Dilate

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

The combinations pate suggests sound like they would work well. The commercial 'whipped' butters are more of a spread. They process the butter adding air or nitrogen gas to increase its volume and make it easy to spread even if chilled.

This process causes the product to foam, melt faster, and reduces the fat solids. By volume, one cup of whipped butter will not weigh the same as a cup of regular butter. Not suitable as a substitute for baking or cooking.

DPS- This link might help.

https://joyofbaking.com/IngredientSubstitution.html

You can also reduce/replace the fat in a recipe with pureed fruit, like unsweetened applesauce, mashed bananas, or canned pumpkin puree. To reduce fat content just cut fat amount in half and substitute and equal measure of one of the above. Replacement is tricky and did noticeably change the texture and flavor when I tried it. Not bad results- but an acquired taste to be sure.

I have used both plain, unsweetened, or vanilla Greek yogurt (look for low moisture content) in brownies. Use equal volume as the fat required by the recipe. They were moist and fudgey, but the texture might be too gummy for some tastes.

Low fat ricotta and cottage cheese can work, too.

Thank you for the link.

My primary market for my baked goods is a couple in their early 80's, or rather: the wife of this couple.  I meet the husband after his church on Sundays; we stroll over to Legaspi Market and find some food at a likely stall, have lunch and shoot the shit.  Then he takes my latest offering back home to her as a pasalubong.  She had a hip replacement go bad, and won't get a new one, so she has limited mobility, and does not seem motivated to accompany her husband to church and pray to god for some relief.

Given their respective ages, I go the full homer on fat.  Her feedback is always helpful.  She is no lickspittle; she bitched about my most recent banana bread ("too much banana!!" while the recipient of the other loaf in the batch opined that there was "not enough banana.")  Her birthday is coming in about a week's time, and she requested two loaves of my orange bread rather than a cake from anyone. 

So it's a mixed bag.  But when she gives praise, my nipples could cut glass.  I recently went to the USA for a couple of months, which was eight long, dry weekends for her.  When I got home, I made the blueberry bread with your recipe.  As it happens, I had to leave it with the concierge for pickup by the husband.  The wife actually went with him to get it, and reported that "they" finished one loaf on the ride home (elapsed time: 15-20 minutes).  Now, I know that the hubby has acid reflux and eats sparingly.  I also know that cake is not marching food.  So I suspect that the wife was the power eater, but I'm also woke enough to know when to hold my tongue. 

My practice is to only sample my bakings for quality control purposes.  I rarely eat more than a bite or two.  But I know that there will come a time when I am cooking for myself, and I would prefer to avoid the 900 kilotons of fat present in many of these tasty bakings.  So thank you so much for your suggestions about alternatives, they are appreciated and have been recorded.

God, what I wouldn't give for a jar of Mott's applesauce.  Applesauce is another thing that is impossible to find here.  Oh, BTW, I got my pepperoncinis from Papa Johns.  Ten for 100 pesos (about two dollars) and they gave me a few more just because.  Good times.  I found dried dill, and Imma make that Mississippi Roast tonight, if a decent cut of chuck roast can be had.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Taking "kys, degenerate" to a whole new level.

I know that you are lonely and you miss me.  Try and see it from my point of view: you are a nuisance. A bother. You are a fucking fly that landed on my sandwich. You're a human cup of ranch dressing; a toilet brush, a retarded hamster.  I'm willing to humour you on other threads, but not here.  I'm busy.  Beat it, pal.

[pyewacket]

DPS- How sweet of you to bake for them and give the wife something to look forward to at the end of the week. Hopefully the old saying, "Happy wife, happy life" rings true and the husband benefits from your gifts as well.

I used to belong to a group that would critique our baked goods and when one gained approval from a couple of the veteran members, the phrase, "Praise from Caesar is praise indeed!" came to mind.

You are wise to not comment on who consumes the lion's share. Nowadays- you never know what will trigger a woman into a rage.

If you have access to a good variety of fresh apples you can make your own applesauce. It has been years since I've made any, but there are simple recipes online. You can adjust them to your taste and I'll bet they are better than Motts. I have even seen people adding cinnamon heart candy- yeah, you could but I wouldn't.

https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/applesauce/

Glad to hear that you got your pepperoncinis and I hope your roast comes out fit for a king.

[Jackstar]

My primary market for my baked goods is a couple in their early 80's

Canola oil

YOU MONSTER

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

YOU MONSTER

That was actually funny, and without your usual 24-grit abrasiveness.

I will allow it, provisionally.

[Jackstar]

I will allow it

No one gives a shit what you think, or even if you do.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Hopefully the old saying, "Happy wife, happy life" rings true and the husband benefits from your gifts as well.

Nowadays- you never know what will trigger a woman into a rage.

Oh, never mind Jackstar.  He's lonely and wants attention from his betters.

https://www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/applesauce/

I might try that tonight.  Thanks again, you've been very helpful.

[AC400KICK]

The only thing I want in my mouth is titties! Suck titties! 10 10 20 Lit City!

[Dr. MD MD]

The only thing I want in my mouth is titties! Suck titties! 10 10 20 Lit City!

Titties are for kids. Be a man and try some vagina!

[SredniVashtar]

I'm not sure I like this new, cuddlier DPS. I didn't like the other one either, but at least you knew where you stood with the venomous old queen. Now we're getting 'DPS: friend of the elderly and infirm'. My only hope is that he's stuffing these old geezers full of high-fat bakery products so as to hasten their demise, after making sure they left him all their money in the will. The idea that he's doing this out of some sappy benevolent impulse is too nauseating to take seriously.

[pyewacket]

Not sure how you interpreted that- it was an innocent remark. I am beginning to see a pattern here...


I hope the recipe works well for you. Do you bake other types of bread?

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Not sure how you interpreted that- it was an innocent remark. I am beginning to see a pattern here...

The word "benefits" has a particular meaning to the Millennial generation that it does not have to their elders, in much the same way that the word "gay" was entirely innocent to Sneddy's Victoria-era parents.  I thought that you chose your words carefully in that deftly constructed sentence, but it appears that the opposite may be true. 

The idea that octogenarian Husband gets to smash on Sunday afternoons as a result of delivering all-purpose flour aphrodisiacs is, to me, charming in its own right.  I've seen his picture from 1971; the dude is downright fly in his long-toe shoes and stovepipe slacks.  Granny panties must have been flying whenever he strode the streets of Manila.  But the story hugs the rainbow when you know that Husband takes the time to attend church in another city in part because he can't bear to listen to bae's screechy yapping anymore.  I mean, when has a woman's tongue, that gives not half so great a blow to hear as will a chestnut in a farmer's fire*,  ever been a deal-breaker to a man on the lam for some bam-bam in the ham?  A "two" at ten, and a "ten" at two, amirite fellas?

If the "pattern" you are referring to implies that my posts contain an excess of sexual content: yes, it is true.  I love sex, and while one can't click on a news feed without reading about a Kardashian or a Miley shaking her slimy cooter at some media event, or reading about other fringe celebrities musing whether they are "pansexual" or some other such nonsense, I have found that the chicks on Bellgab are more comfortable with 1950's June Cleaver sensibilities.  How do paranormals procreate, anyway?  Is it accomplished through recruiting, like homosexuals did up until about ten years ago?

No matter.  I thought I had found a safe space here in Bakegab, where I could let down my hair and lace up the apron, but my besties have found me.  Jackstar would punch Wife in the face; Sneddy would twerk the Husband.  You see how I suffer, Pye.  Please accept my testosterone-soaked appeal for acceptance and understanding.  It's no longer a worry that I will send you dick pics through PM.



You're safe.

Do you bake other types of bread?

I make no-knead bread that is really good, and Hokkaido Milk Bread that is also very nice, and which I have adapted into some Butter Garlic pull apart bread which is transcendent.  But I struggle with ordinary breads that by rights I should be able to do easily.  I have never been successful at making sandwich rolls (another hard-to-find item here).  I've been able to find something that purports to be dark rye flour, and the thought of something approaching an authenticl Reuben gave me a monster chubby, but I can't make the dough work.  I would love to make sourdough, but the climate here is no charitable towards the flavour.  It's an area that I intend to revisit again sometime.

I could use your help with ji dan guanbing.  It's a mission of mercy.

*Apologies to W.S.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

The idea that he's doing this out of some sappy benevolent impulse is too nauseating to take seriously.

This from someone whose idea of charity is reciprocating at a glory hole.  Your discomfort is noted, and enjoyed.

[SredniVashtar]

I thought I had found a safe space here in Bakegab, where I could let down my hair and lace up the apron, but my besties have found me.

[SredniVashtar]

This from someone whose idea of charity is reciprocating at a glory hole.  Your discomfort is noted, and enjoyed.

I can't take your taunts seriously any more (not that I ever did). All I see is the Swedish chef from the Muppets, arsing around in a cloud of flour. Bork bork bork!

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I can't take your taunts seriously any more (not that I ever did). All I see is the Swedish chef from the Muppets, arsing around in a cloud of flour. Bork bork bork!

You poor man.  Seeing me enjoy myself in wholesome pursuit must be sheer torment for you.  I love it.

[SredniVashtar]

You poor man.  Seeing me enjoy myself in wholesome pursuit must be sheer torment for you.  I love it.

Don't try and gaslight me the way you've been conning those poor old Flips. You wouldn't know a wholesome pursuit if it was handed to you on a skewer covered in Bearnaise sauce. You're up to some shadiness and I'd just like to go on record as ready and willing to be a witness when they bring you to justice and Duterte gets ready to put a bullet in your peanut-sized head.

[pyewacket]

The idea that octogenarian Husband gets to smash on Sunday afternoons as a result of delivering all-purpose flour aphrodisiacs is, to me, charming in its own right.  I've seen his picture from 1971; the dude is downright fly in his long-toe shoes and stovepipe slacks.  Granny panties must have been flying whenever he strode the streets of Manila.  But the story hugs the rainbow when you know that Husband takes the time to attend church in another city in part because he can't bear to listen to bae's screechy yapping anymore.  I mean, when has a woman's tongue, that gives not half so great a blow to hear as will a chestnut in a farmer's fire*,  ever been a deal-breaker to a man on the lam for some bam-bam in the ham?  A "two" at ten, and a "ten" at two, amirite fellas?

If the "pattern" you are referring to implies that my posts contain an excess of sexual content: yes, it is true.  I love sex, and while one can't click on a news feed without reading about a Kardashian or a Miley shaking her slimy cooter at some media event, or reading about other fringe celebrities musing whether they are "pansexual" or some other such nonsense, I have found that the chicks on Bellgab are more comfortable with 1950's June Cleaver sensibilities.  How do paranormals procreate, anyway?  Is it accomplished through recruiting, like homosexuals did up until about ten years ago?

I would respond, but I have no idea what you are talking about.

I understand the old gent needs a break from his wife. That seems to be a common plight if couples manage to stay together that long. I had wondered why one of my retired neighbors always needed to go to the store until I spent an afternoon with his wife. I wonder no more.

I'm more of a Donna Reed than a June Cleaver.

I make no-knead bread that is really good, and Hokkaido Milk Bread that is also very nice, and which I have adapted into some Butter Garlic pull apart bread which is transcendent.  But I struggle with ordinary breads that by rights I should be able to do easily.  I have never been successful at making sandwich rolls (another hard-to-find item here).  I've been able to find something that purports to be dark rye flour, and the thought of something approaching an authenticl Reuben gave me a monster chubby, but I can't make the dough work.  I would love to make sourdough, but the climate here is no charitable towards the flavour.  It's an area that I intend to revisit again sometime.

I could use your help with ji dan guanbing.  It's a mission of mercy.

*Apologies to W.S.

This sounds like heartburn on a stick, but here you go:

https://danadventure.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/jidan-guan-bing-recipe/

I don't know much about baking in your type of climate, but understand that the humidity will affect moisture absorption of your dry ingredients, can cause overactive yeast which affects flavor and texture and will affect the baking time.

Reducing water, sugar, and yeast amounts can help. Salt is a yeast inhibitor and when added to your recipe it can help reduce over rising and fermentation.

Have you considered purchasing a bread machine? I have one and the results are consistent. The loaves won't be as visually appealing as those shaped by hand, but it will not add to the heat in your kitchen and saves you many steps. You might still have to make adjustments due to your climate, but it could solve some of your baking problems.

Now you, Shreddie, and Jacks, can go back to giving each other the business. I find you all entertaining.

 

[Corona Kitty]

Bake deez nuts.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

those poor old Flips.

Oh my.  Did you know that word is the equivalent of "nigger" here?  Your parochialism and colonial sensibilities have betrayed you once again. 

Every time I get an erection, a bald eagle cries out in American pride and the flags fly a little prouder.  Unlike you, I respect all races and cultures, even while boning them up the ass.  It can't be easy being British, waiting for The Queen to croak, prepping for a Brexit that will tank the world economy, and pining for a Make America Great Britain Again that will never fuckin happen.

Say, why don't you go out and get some fresh air and a nice ice cream cone?  I find that always puts a spring in my step and a smile on my puss.  Make it a double, as your burdens are manifold.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I'm more of a Donna Reed than a June Cleaver.

From Here To Eternity.  That's hot.

https://danadventure.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/jidan-guan-bing-recipe/

I'm trying to fund a young man who wants to be a chef and have a restaurant.  Right now he works cruise ships and restaurants.  It's a huge leap from being a drone to operating a business, especially a restaurant.  My suggestion was that he get a booth in Legaspi or Salcedo Markets and vend something.  It doesn't have to make money, just not lose money.  And he gains experience and confidence.  It would be a stepping stone to something bigger.

So what to offer?  In my experience, the booths that do the best have a decent product that has a certain amount of showmanship in the preparation.  I've rooted out a few ideas, and this one was a finalist:

  [edit: looks like a broken link, but just click on it and it will show you the video]

Do you see how he punches out a disc during the prep?  I think how that is done is that the dough is rolled, and then sliced into pieces, and then rolled out into rounds.  The disc that is punched out is the end part of the spiral in the center.  But I'm not sure about this.  Your recipe refers to the procedure, but it is limited to roughly stabbing a hole in the dough, while my way is cuter.

This particular dish is as varied as hamburgers and is a beloved street food breakfast in China.  It's an institution.  No one is offering it at Legaspi/Salcedo.

You have come through for me so many times and I have given you nothing in return.  Can I ask you to offer an opinion about the disk punch thing?  Is my idea about the spiral the answer? 

Yes, the climate throws everything in a bread recipe into question.  Bread machines are not available here, maybe in a specialty store.  Rice replaces bread as the carb staple here, so it's difficult to find bread things.  I have used a bread machine back in the USA and got the results that you describe.

[pyewacket]

From Here To Eternity.  That's hot.

I'm trying to fund a young man who wants to be a chef and have a restaurant.  Right now he works cruise ships and restaurants.  It's a huge leap from being a drone to operating a business, especially a restaurant.  My suggestion was that he get a booth in Legaspi or Salcedo Markets and vend something.  It doesn't have to make money, just not lose money.  And he gains experience and confidence.  It would be a stepping stone to something bigger.

So what to offer?  In my experience, the booths that do the best have a decent product that has a certain amount of showmanship in the preparation.  I've rooted out a few ideas, and this one was a finalist:

  [edit: looks like a broken link, but just click on it and it will show you the video]

Do you see how he punches out a disc during the prep?  I think how that is done is that the dough is rolled, and then sliced into pieces, and then rolled out into rounds.  The disc that is punched out is the end part of the spiral in the center.  But I'm not sure about this.  Your recipe refers to the procedure, but it is limited to roughly stabbing a hole in the dough, while my way is cuter.

This particular dish is as varied as hamburgers and is a beloved street food breakfast in China.  It's an institution.  No one is offering it at Legaspi/Salcedo.

You have come through for me so many times and I have given you nothing in return.  Can I ask you to offer an opinion about the disk punch thing?  Is my idea about the spiral the answer? 

Sounds like a great plan. I have to agree - the vendor in the video had a showy technique that would draw attention. I hope that your chef is able to make a go of it and is successful. He certainly will gain experience that will help build his career.

Wow- baking for the elderly, helping a young man launch a small business, aren't you the benevolent one.

I have no experience with this type of cooking, but I can't help but be impressed with the efficient and stylish techniques. You would have to ask your chef about this.

How about this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duA8tORlwug

Yes, the climate throws everything in a bread recipe into question.  Bread machines are not available here, maybe in a specialty store.  Rice replaces bread as the carb staple here, so it's difficult to find bread things.  I have used a bread machine back in the USA and got the results that you describe.

That's a shame. The only non rising breads I can think of at the moment are Irish Soda Bread and Corn Bread. Is oatmeal available? You can make Scottish Oatcakes without yeast and substitute butter for the shortening. These are recipes from an old cook book I have- let me know if you are interested.   

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Wow- baking for the elderly, helping a young man launch a small business, aren't you the benevolent one.

I'm a horrible bastard.  Sneedy is right -- don't be fooled.

How about this:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duA8tORlwug

That's a shame. The only non rising breads I can think of at the moment are Irish Soda Bread and Corn Bread. Is oatmeal available? You can make Scottish Oatcakes without yeast and substitute butter for the shortening. These are recipes from an old cook book I have- let me know if you are interested.

That's a bing, which is the popular style of the breakfast food.  The one in my earlier video is a variation, selling for less money.  There's a psychology involved with these Sunday markets and what is offered.  Anything in excess of 120 pesos (about $2.40) has to be extra special or people will simply move to another booth and choose the low cost alternative meal.  Maybe we get to the high-rent district later.  The boy lacks confidence and is a monument to non-commitment.  Trying to keep the barriers-to-entry low.

I have made cornbread from corn meal, which can be found in the health food stores.  Wrote about it in an earlier post in this thread.  Managing the bread recipes is not that hard.  I use the quantities as a ballpark.  I weigh the flour, and I have a test which involves springback of the dough to determine how much water to add.  For extra fun, there is a noticeable variation in absorbancy between flour vendor.  I keep a notebook with how much water per cup by vendor for the different compositions by vendor.  Haven't gotten into fine tuning yeast, salt, or sugar.  Perhaps that's why my problem lies.

[K_Dubb]

Here is a peach frangipane tart I made today.  I was going to use some of my favorite little yellow plums but I ate them all.  Shreddie, I think this would work great with your damsons as the frangipane is very absorbent and sweet enough to offset any bitterness in the skins.



Set oven to 350

Shell

1 1/2 cups all-purpose (not self-rising) flour
1/2 cup white whole wheat flour (makes it a little rustic)
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 T cornstarch
Teeny tiny bit of pure sucralose powder (gives it extra sweetness without changing the texture, making it sticky like more sugar would -- without it the crust tastes a bit crackerish next to the frangipane)
1 T vanilla (I like a lot of vanilla flavor and use Cook's Vanilla Powder which is basically an updated vanilla sugar -- use whatever you prefer or cut back if you don't care for it)
1 cup salted butter, melted (I like salt, too)
Splash of cream if it's too crumbly to work with

Mix into a lump, flatten into a disk (wrapping in plastic helps, and putting in the fridge for a bit), then press into an 11-inch tart shell with a removable bottom, going all the way up the sides.  Trim the top flush with the pan and use the trimmings to patch any thin spots -- it's like modeling clay -- and iron with a flat-bottomed thing that you can get into the edges so they're not so thick.  Prick all over with a fork and bake shell empty for 15 mins while you make the

Frangipane

1 cup almond flour
1 cup powdered sugar
2 eggs
3 T melted butter
1 T vanilla again (yes I know)
2 tsp or more almond extract (I used an almond emulsion thanks to Pye -- don't be afraid to put lots as, with nearly an hour, it will mostly bake out)

Mix it all up into a goo and pour evenly in the shell once your 15 mins are up.  Slice and arrange your fruit, toss a handful of sugar over it all and bake for 50-55 mins until the frangipane is all puffed up and nicely toasted -- your house should smell like every French bakery everywhere with the toasted almonds, butter, and vanilla.

When done, bring a little jam (I used apricot -- it doesn't really matter what) to a near boil where it turns light from the bubbles forming, and brush over the exposed fruit to make it shiny again and not so mummified-looking.  Chill to pastry-case temperature and eat right away.

Those tart pans with the removable bottoms always leak so it's helpful to anticipate it, putting enough foil under and curving it up to shield the edges of the shell from burning, too.  And putting the whole thing on a cookie sheet.

[WOTR]

Chill to pastry-case temperature and eat right away.

Hard to keep a figure that you can photograph shirtless if following that advice. However, the recipe looks good (and fairly simple.) Maybe this weekend...

[K_Dubb]

Hard to keep a figure that you can photograph shirtless if following that advice. However, the recipe looks good (and fairly simple.) Maybe this weekend...

It is better than Le Panier at the Market -- I had two pieces!

[WOTR]

It is better than Le Panier at the Market -- I had two pieces!

See. This is where I always go wrong. When you posted "chill to pastry case temperature and eat right away," I had assumed you meant eat the WHOLE thing right away.

Now I find that eating two pieces is sufficient. Good to have clarification before this weekend. 

[Dr. MD MD]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVgKccixIhQ