George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Juan]

Evelyn "the witch" Paglini races into the PremRat parking lot in her mustard coloured '72 Plymouth Duster. Thick, toxic emissions spew out of her rear tail pipe and from between her cracked painted red lips...a ciggie, her 50th Marlboro of the day, hangs from her mouth. Nancy Sinatra's These Boots Were Made for Walking is blaring from her car CD player.

8-track.

[Jasmine]

8-track.

Today on Coastgab: UFO Fill BITCH-SLAPS Jasmine straight across your computer screen!

*Rubbing my sore jaw* Thanks, honey. I needed that...and an editor.

[Jasmine]

You are a very talented writer. I hope your wit is not shared only here. This is much too small an audience for your amusing and clever posts.  I suspect you could hold your own quite successfully with someone like Dorothy Parker. Her quote about men who wear glasses must kiss many asses prompted me to get contact lenses in 8th grade. Ironically, I turned out gay, so I needn't have bothered...........

Gracias, darlin', you're much too kind. I'm in good company here on Coastgab.I'm inspired by the plethora of intelligent, talented and witty regulars who post their brilliance here. Sardondi, for example, blows me away with his words. No woman who does or does not wear glasses is a traffic island.

I wished I had turned out gay. I do envy you, being a gay person. Oh, to be sure, I have my moments of happiness, joy, and merriment...but I'm also afflicted with blue moods and periods of deep despair. I refer to these cycles as my Frances Farmer days. ;-)

I am an avid supporter of GLBT rights. Screw the fundamentalists who attempt to shove their warped and narrow-minded opinions and mindset down our throats.

NOORY SUCKS!

[expat]

Anyone know noorys address in L.A?

“Coast-to-Coast AM”
Premiere Radio Network
15260 Ventura Blvd.
SHERMAN OAKS, CA 91403

[ChandlersDad]

“Coast-to-Coast AM”
Premiere Radio Network
15260 Ventura Blvd.
SHERMAN OAKS, CA 91403

Evelyn Paglini also lives in Sherman Oaks. How convenient!!

[MikeJ]

Evelyn Paglini also lives in Sherman Oaks. How convenient!!

Maybe she lives in their basement.

[Meggini]

Oh yeah, I watched the pilot TV film on Youtube, the one set in Vegas. I liked Kolchak's style and anti-conformist mindset. I have yet to watch the subsequent episodes of The Night Stalker.

I also loved how - in those 70's made-for-TV thrillers - the women would be in a deep sleep, be suddenly awakened (by some dark terror that had struck) and they'd be fully made up (no pillow smudging), their hair in perfect place (courtesy of Adorn hairspray), and even wearing false eyelashes...to bed! Oh, those 70's Divas!

And how come everyone and their mother drank like fishies in these 70's campfests? The booze flowed as thick as the cheese was cut (dialogue)...well, you know what I mean.

A pink slip for Noory and crew!

Kolchak! Thanks to The Trevi Collection episode, I'm a little afraid of mannequins to this day.

... The costuming from the 70's and back through the 30's. Yummy! It's unforgiveable in a show today if the lead has perfect make-up and hair under duress, but back then...? I so admired it. It was something to aspire to. The first few times I tried to do my hair, I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't stay put.  As a little girl, I had no idea that actresses achieved perfection by having their own stylist and makeup artist just off screen, ready to rush in with a touch-up. 

Just to bring it back to Noory, actors like Darren McGavin have that indefinable presence. They can take something cheesy and make it seem more interesting than it is. Tom Hanks was in some movies that should have been forgettable turds but they're watchable thanks to his presence. Noory doesn't have "it". I don't know if he could and he just doesn't try...

[HorrorRetro]

Kolchak! Thanks to The Trevi Collection episode, I'm a little afraid of mannequins to this day.

Me too!  I was just telling someone about the Trevi Collection episode the other day.  It's my favorite Night Stalker episode.

[Meggini]

Me too!  I was just telling someone about the Trevi Collection episode the other day.  It's my favorite Night Stalker episode.

It didn't help that I was already afraid of dolls thanks to watching the Talking Tina episode of the Twilight Zone when I was around 4-ish. My doll phobia is pretty well entrenched. It's really irrational, but it can't be helped. Of course, dolls are harmless... unless you offend them in some way.

[ChandlersDad]

Jasmine, speaking as a fashion victim of the 70's (like everyone else in that "unfortunate" decade), I watched the classic EARTHQUAKE on AMC the other night. You can tell in seconds when a TV show or movie is from the 70's.  Everyone has a manican look. Even in the worst disaster Los Angeles could face, people just did not look "real". Women had perfect make-up and hair after being through the worst earthquake in history, but they would have a few smudges on their clothes, or a tasteful little cut on their forehead. From a 2012 perspective, none of it seemed remotely real. I realize they did not have CGI back then, so they had to use little miniatures ("The dam has burst! Run for your lives!").   I think  in the 70's  all the grit and grime of real life was carefully edited out. Even a disaster movie seemed strangely hygienic. Charleston Heston (Mr. NRA) was still in his older HUNK phase, and faced each new crisis looking like the cover of a romance novel. 

I used to give myself a bad time for looking so goofy in the 70's, e.g., looooong hair over the ears, bell bottoms and shirt collars so large that they could compete  with the Flying Nun for take-off. But upon watching 70's movies and TV, I realized that everyone looked that way. It was just the cultural meme of the time.

[HorrorRetro]

It didn't help that I was already afraid of dolls thanks to watching the Talking Tina episode of the Twilight Zone when I was around 4-ish. My doll phobia is pretty well entrenched. It's really irrational, but it can't be helped. Of course, dolls are harmless... unless you offend them in some way.

The doll that scared me when I was a kid was the Zuni fetish doll in Trilogy of Terror.  That was one bad ass doll...

[Jasmine]

Kolchak! Thanks to The Trevi Collection episode, I'm a little afraid of mannequins to this day.

... The costuming from the 70's and back through the 30's. Yummy! It's unforgiveable in a show today if the lead has perfect make-up and hair under duress, but back then...? I so admired it. It was something to aspire to. The first few times I tried to do my hair, I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't stay put.  As a little girl, I had no idea that actresses achieved perfection by having their own stylist and makeup artist just off screen, ready to rush in with a touch-up. 

Just to bring it back to Noory, actors like Darren McGavin have that indefinable presence. They can take something cheesy and make it seem more interesting than it is. Tom Hanks was in some movies that should have been forgettable turds but they're watchable thanks to his presence. Noory doesn't have "it". I don't know if he could and he just doesn't try...

Please dun't mishkunshtrew what I mentioned re 70's film/TV dames. I too simply adore retro style - I'm especially a sucker for 50's women's fashions (Grace Kelly, anyone?) I simply derive a hoot n' a half from, for example, Barbara Stanwyck in Aaron Spelling's 1970 The House That Would Not Die, awakening from a deep slumber with her Bud Westmore applied face and that stunning Nolan Miller designed white nightgown and her white hair sooo perfectly coiffed. Loved it! And her wardrobe for the rest of this made-for-TV thriller was divine; Miller's designs were tres chic and polished - straight lines, classic look.

And, girl, who could forget the stunning, jaw-dropping wardrobe Edith Head designed for Grace Kelly in both Rear Window and To Catch a Thief!? Oh, those cocktaail dresses and those shoes! I want me a Kelly handbag and Oleg Cassini as my personal designer.

And a BIG shout-out to HorrorRetro for introducing me to The Night Stalker episode The Trevi Collection! LOVED IT! I watched it twice. Lara Parker was and is possessed with - for lack of a better term! - extreme beauty, style, and a FABULOUS 70's wardrobe ensemble!

NOORY SUCKS!

[HorrorRetro]

And a BIG shout-out to HorrorRetro for introducing me to The Night Stalker episode The Trevi Collection! LOVED IT! I watched it twice. Lara Parker was and is possessed with - for lack of a better term! - extreme beauty, style, and a FABULOUS 70's wardrobe ensemble!

NOORY SUCKS!

I'm glad you liked it!  When I was a kid, that episode aired followed by Race with the Devil.  You can't beat that combination.    And I agree, the fashion was fabulous -- all those feathers and capes were great. 

[Jasmine]

Jasmine, speaking as a fashion victim of the 70's (like everyone else in that "unfortunate" decade), I watched the classic EARTHQUAKE on AMC the other night. You can tell in seconds when a TV show or movie is from the 70's.  Everyone has a manican look. Even in the worst disaster Los Angeles could face, people just did not look "real". Women had perfect make-up and hair after being through the worst earthquake in history, but they would have a few smudges on their clothes, or a tasteful little cut on their forehead. From a 2012 perspective, none of it seemed remotely real. I realize they did not have CGI back then, so they had to use little miniatures ("The dam has burst! Run for your lives!").   I think  in the 70's  all the grit and grime of real life was carefully edited out. Even a disaster movie seemed strangely hygienic. Charleston Heston (Mr. NRA) was still in his older HUNK phase, and faced each new crisis looking like the cover of a romance novel. 

I used to give myself a bad time for looking so goofy in the 70's, e.g., looooong hair over the ears, bell bottoms and shirt collars so large that they could compete  with the Flying Nun for take-off. But upon watching 70's movies and TV, I realized that everyone looked that way. It was just the cultural meme of the time.

I dunno, ChandlersDad, there are some 70's dresses that greatly appeal to me and some of my girlfriends. I especially loved Valerie Harper's wardrobe on The Mary Tyler Moore Show - call me crazy, but it just works.

I do agree with you re Earthquake - I'm a 70's disaster girl, too, along with them there 70's TV thrilers.

And speaking of 70's disaster movies and a lack of grit and grime on the actors, honey, you're forgetting 1972's The Poseidon Adventure. Now, granted, Stella Stevens in those boob revealing negligees and her ballroom gown, and Carol Lynley and Pamela Sue Martin in their 70's hotpants ensembles was, to be oh so sure, sharp cheddar cheese, but cut the cheese and cut to the post-capsizing scenes, and these dames looked truly oiled and lubed.

Speakin' of Charlton Heston, who could forget Karen Black flying that pilot-free 747 in Airport, 1975!? With Gloria Swanson all Diva'd up and Linda Blair on-board enroute to a kidney transplant operation!

George Noory needs to cover 70's disaster movies...ah...uh...subliminal hidden messages?

[Jasmine]

I'm glad you liked it!  When I was a kid, that episode aired followed by Race with the Devil.  You can't beat that combination.    And I agree, the fashion was fabulous -- all those feathers and capes were great.

Agreed, great 70's combo there...simply thrilling!

LOVED Lara's look. And her beautiful hair! Now THERE'S a 70's "Breck Girl" for ya. My hair is thick and wavy, and I just can't straighten it. Humidity really makes my hair go bezerk. There are several of Lara's wardrobe pieces in that Night Stalker episode that I would love to have. She certainly had the figure for those clothes. And her makeup was just right - not overdone.

ChandlersDad, believe it or not, many of us girls/women love wearing  bellbottom jeans today.

[Jasmine]

The doll that scared me when I was a kid was the Zuni fetish doll in Trilogy of Terror.  That was one bad ass doll...

I know! That freakin' doll scared the life out of me. I could never understand why the hell Karen Black just didn't make a bee-line for the front door and get out...then again, there wouldn't be a story.

Zuni Doll...George Noory. Work with me here; I'm trying to retain a Snoory connection, otherwise MV is going to provide us with the Wrath of Khan!

[ziznak]

here's a good noory doll I found on google images!

had me laughing my ass off

[Jasmine]

here's a good noory doll I found on google images!

had me laughing my ass off

Ziznak, you revolting, vile male member...of your species, I love ya.

God, I would KILL for huge, firm bosums like those. Those breasts could feed the third world. Suffice to say that when it comes to George Noory in this pic, I DON'T suffer from PENIS envy.

Which reminds me, y'all recall Jane Russell and those old Playtex 18 Hour Bra commercials? What the HELL is an 18 hour bra!? Does it implode or explode after 18 hours? Does that George Noory doll explode after 18 hours, or do the minds of the listeners after 18 hours?

[b_dubb]

an 18 hour bra is a bra that a juggy dame could wear for 18 hours without crying. any other questions?

also - I'm a huge fan of Jane Russell


Jane Russell

[Jasmine]

an 18 hour bra is a bra that a juggy dame could wear for 18 hours without crying. any other questions?

Yes. What's your Social Security Number? I'm...uh...I'm taking a survey for my ladies church group. We aid needy, holy sexy people.

And considering the fact that Jane was...huge, it comes as no surprise you're a huge fan, bucko. Nobody wore over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders like Howard's dame.

Can George Noory Doll come over and breast feed my son? I want to go play Bingo!

[ziznak]

George Noory doll is busy making his crappy TV show silly... can't stop progress... er regress in this case.

[Jasmine]

George Noory doll is busy making his crappy TV show silly... can't stop progress... er regress in this case.

Let me guess, is the TV show entitled Valley of the George Noory Dolls? Will Patty Duke make a guest appearance?

Well then, Ziznak, call your mother and tell her to high-tail it over to my place...I have a craving for her Doritos Meatloaf. And tell her to bring some beer, too, will ya, cupcake?

George Noory is a BOOBS!

[HorrorRetro]

Let me guess, is the TV show entitled Valley of the George Noory Dolls? Will Patty Duke make a guest appearance?

Well then, Ziznak, call your mother and tell her to high-tail it over to my place...I have a craving for her Doritos Meatloaf. And tell her to bring some beer, too, will ya, cupcake?

George Noory is a BOOBS!

To quote Patty in Valley of the Dolls, "Boobies, boobies, boobies.  Nothing but boobies.  Who needs 'em?"  I love Valley of the Dolls and Patty Duke.   I even have the soundtrack on vinyl. 


Neely


George has man boobs or moobs.

[Jasmine]

To quote Patty in Valley of the Dolls, "Boobies, boobies, boobies.  Nothing but boobies.  Who needs 'em?"  I love Valley of the Dolls and Patty Duke.   I even have the soundtrack on vinyl. 


Neely


George has man boobs or moobs.

Girl, you're somethin' else! I love Valley of the Dolls, too, and that Patty Duke, well, poor mama has been to hell and back. But then again, as per the lyrics to "The Patty Duke Show", a hot dog makes her lose control! LOL! What the HELL!?

George Noory's moobs are a moot point! ;-) God, imagine seeing Noory naked!?

[Nucky Nolan]

I'm a huge fan of Jane Russell

I bet that you really meant to type, "I'm a fan of huge Jane Russell." It's just a hunch.

[b_dubb]

she's not that huge.  she's just very hot and seemingly quite eager.  yay

marylin - 'blondes have more fun'
jane - 'but brunettes do it better'

why argue?

[Nucky Nolan]

she's not that huge.  she's just very hot and seemingly quite eager.  yay

marylin - 'blondes have more fun'
jane - 'but brunettes do it better'

why argue?

You'll get no argument from me. Blondes don't have more fun; blondes *are* more fun.

[Jasmine]

You'll get no argument from me. Blondes don't have more fun; blondes *are* more fun.

Awww! You delightful, charming, chauvinistic little retard of a male! Thank you! THIS honey blonde thanks you. I'm more fun than a barrel of monkeys! Yet is my hair colour real?

Only my hairdresser and George Noory know for sure.

[ziznak]

I'll refrain from the expected carpet and drapes knuckledraggery here just to throw in my two cents on the blonde thing...
sometimes they aren't more fun cause they're too used to not having to anything... Jaz is excluded due to my fear of her capable wit and larger than my "shitcock" thesaurus.

on a side note George Noory doll thinks a thesaurus is a dinosaur and he sucks.

[McPhallus]

I think the operative was "voluptuous," back when it actually meant something.  These days, women 200 pounds and over have unfortunately stripped it of any meaning.

she's not that huge.  she's just very hot and seemingly quite eager.  yay

marylin - 'blondes have more fun'
jane - 'but brunettes do it better'

why argue?