Things That Annoy You

[ziznak]

I may have said it before but the KFI news blurbs where the "reporter" reads an off the wall story and then stops with a pregnant pause followed by some sort of sarcasm.  I just heard a female doing the blurb and she did it just like the guy I normally hear... so there has to be some hacky radio douche writing it this way.  STOP ALREADY PLEASE its almost as bad as the 1877COCKS4KIDS commercials.

Oh and i just heard Johnny B say Newbaruuu lol... he makes me laugh more than he pisses me off.

[FightTheFuture]

People who refuse to turn right at a redlight when it's perfectly legal and appropriate.

[FightTheFuture]

While I'm at it, let me add that, the first Sunday of every month is highly annoying!

[HorrorRetro]

Behavior such as this is why I despise shopping, especially in the grocery store.  Our society seems to be overwhelmed with completely self-absorbed nincompoops.  If an aisle in the grocery isn't blocked by a twit forever staring at items on a shelve, it's somebody taking advantage of the free samples.  I swear, some people go to the grocery for a meal of food samples and fruit pilfering.  Thank goodness for the self-checkouts.  I can usually find one which isn't tied-up by somebody who's jammed-up the checkout machine.

The next fun is leaving the place, with idiots zooming through the parking lot like it was freeway, all the while playing with a phone.  I'm surprised more people aren't run down in parking lots.

I don't go to Walmart, but I had to accompany my daughter there yesterday on the way home from the hospital to pick up a few items.  We planned a quick in and out combat shopping trip.  The majority of the people in there were wandering zombies with vacant looks and shuffling gaits.  I was confused by what I saw and asked my daughter if everyone looked mentally disabled, and she agreed with me.  Then you had the women who insisted on walking literally 8 women across the entire damn aisle.  They saw us trying to get by with a brand new baby in the cart and proceeded to slow down even further and pop their gum louder and slide their slippers across the floor.  Passive-aggressive bitches.    I swear to God I'm tempted to get a small cattle prod and start poking these bitches in the ass the next time I run into a group like them. 

[Juan]

People in grocery stores, walking down the aisle in the opposite direction from me, who look directly at me, then turn their carts to block my path.  Between themselves and their carts, I cannot pass.  Then as I stand, patiently, and wait for the path to clear, they glare at me with absolute hatred in their eyes.  So far, it's only women who have done this but there are enough stupid, inconsiderate men out there that I'm sure my sample size is just too small.

Also women in the grocery store (understand that I live at the beach where attire is more casual) who are dressed in a manner that exposes the top half of their breasts, said breasts being adorned with large, brightly colored tattoos, who get angry because I am looking at them.

[stevesh]

  I swear, some people go to the grocery for a meal of food samples and fruit pilfering.

I'm not proud to admit that I know several people (yes, women all, with the occasional whipped husband) who travel to Sam's Club every Saturday morning to roam the store breakfasting on the free samples.

You'd have to tie me down and pry my mouth open to get me to eat something that was cooked in an electric frying pan by a (very nice) septuagenarian on the sales floor of a big box store.

[onan]

I'm not proud to admit that I know several people (yes, women all, with the occasional whipped husband) who travel to Sam's Club every Saturday morning to roam the store breakfasting on the free samples.

You'd have to tie me down and pry my mouth open to get me to eat something that was cooked in an electric frying pan by a (very nice) septuagenarian on the sales floor of a big box store.

Yeah pretty much concur. I am not a fan of any buffet style food delivery system. But at least buffet style restaurants have guidelines for temperature. Stores that have "grandma" cooking and setting samples within reach of every 7 year old infection vector is not what I consider a good choice.

[jazmunda]

People who refuse to turn right at a redlight when it's perfectly legal and appropriate.

When I was squatting in your country I was guilty of that mainly because I didn't know that you could. Sorry. Whoopsies.

[jazmunda]

Gastro. Too much information?

[ItsOver]

....(  I swear to God I'm tempted to get a small cattle prod and start poking these bitches in the ass the next time I run into a group like them.

Hahaha..."Keep movin', movin', movin', though they're disapprovin', keep them doggies movin' Rawhide! 

[Sardondi]

...I swear to God I'm tempted to get a small cattle prod and start poking these bitches in the ass the next time I run into a group like them.

A quick detour for a short war story about cattle prods. Once upon a time, years ago, I was involved in the prosecution of three smalltown cops who occasionally tortured suspects by using cattle prods to extract confessions. The FBI even recovered two of the prods which had been thrown into a creek by one of the officers in an attempt to hide the evidence. One of the cops was represented at trial by a big, blustering ex-football jock named "Big Al." Big Al was an asshole and a bully. He was also essentially stupid, although he had a certain low animal cunning that made him a dangerous enough trial opponent. But he would make these tremendous assumptions, not realizing he was doing it.

One assumption he made was that these cattle prods were essentially harmless. After all, his clients had told him so. And they were powered by just 4 D-cell batteries. How painful could it be to get shocked by that? It's just some little sissy nigrah convicts making a big deal out of nothing and trying to get our brave po-lice in trouble, right?

And truth to tell the testimony of the victims hadn't been all that effective. They were for the most part jailbirds, and their stories did tend to change some. It was looking dicey for a conviction, particularly since cops were the defendants.

So Al is cross examining the FBI agent who recovered the cattle prods. He's holding a new and undamaged identical model of cattle prod which has been admitted as an exhibit to show the jury what the things looked like before they were bent and thrown into the creek. Al is getting the FBI agent to admit certain things which make it appear the prods are little buzzers which work more on the theory of surprise or noise than on an actual shock. And somehow Big Al gets the bright idea that he's going to demonstrate the prod in open court, and show the jury how there's nothing to these little buzzing doohickeys. It'll be a Clarence Darrow moment, and Al will be a legend in the courthouse. 

Except he's never tried it out before. He had no idea what the cattle prods could do. No idea. And he asks the question, "Why, these things don't even really hurt, do they Mr. FBI man?" And in open court he jams the cattle prod into his own thigh.

And it was like someone kicked him in the balls. He immediately leans forward and lets out a big "OOOOOFFFFF!" like someone punched him in the gut, staggering, almost falling down. He looks up totally dumbfounded, clearly never having considered that those battery-powered things could do something like this. So he turns to the prosecution table and, before he could catch himself, in a stage whisper everyone could hear, he says, "Damn, that hurts!"

He recovered himself enough to get a few more questions out, but he finally had to sit down. It was obvious that one shot from the prod had taken a real toll on him. We couldn't have asked for better testimony. And so it was Big Al became a legend in the courthouse - but for how his idiocy convicted his client, not for his Clarence Darrow genius. Ah, good days, good days.

Okay, back to the thread.

[Spooky Matter]

A quick detour for a short war story about cattle prods. Once upon a time, years ago, I was involved in the prosecution of three smalltown cops who occasionally tortured suspects by using cattle prods to extract confessions. The FBI even recovered two of the prods which had been thrown into a creek...
Okay, back to the thread.

Wow!  I came her to say daylight saving time annoys me and the more clocks one has well ya know..

But after reading your post I have to ask, why could you not be a DM guest? 

[Spooky Matter]

I'm not proud to admit that I know several people (yes, women all, with the occasional whipped husband) who travel to Sam's Club every Saturday morning to roam the store breakfasting on the free samples.

You'd have to tie me down and pry my mouth open to get me to eat something that was cooked in an electric frying pan by a (very nice) septuagenarian on the sales floor of a big box store.

This is hysterical.

[Spooky Matter]

I don't go to Walmart, but I had to accompany my daughter there yesterday on the way home from the hospital to pick up a few items.  We planned a quick in and out combat shopping trip.  The majority of the people in there were wandering zombies with vacant looks and shuffling gaits.  I was confused by what I saw and asked my daughter if everyone looked mentally disabled, and she agreed with me.  Then you had the women who insisted on walking literally 8 women across the entire damn aisle.  They saw us trying to get by with a brand new baby in the cart and proceeded to slow down even further and pop their gum louder and slide their slippers across the floor.  Passive-aggressive bitches.    I swear to God I'm tempted to get a small cattle prod and start poking these bitches in the ass the next time I run into a group like them.

I have never had this experience in W-M but maybe it's because I tend to go there when I do closer to a range between 10 and midnight.  That's all I wanted to say.  They have good prices on some things but if you're a shopaholic like me you'll find deals in every store.

[Spooky Matter]

This thread was a terrific idea 

[stevesh]

A quick detour for a short war story about cattle prods. Once upon a time, years ago, I was involved in the prosecution of three smalltown cops who occasionally tortured suspects by using cattle prods to extract confessions. The FBI even recovered two of the prods which had been thrown into a creek by one of the officers in an attempt to hide the evidence. One of the cops was represented at trial by a big, blustering ex-football jock named "Big Al." Big Al was an asshole and a bully. He was also essentially stupid, although he had a certain low animal cunning that made him a dangerous enough trial opponent. But he would make these tremendous assumptions, not realizing he was doing it.

One assumption he made was that these cattle prods were essentially harmless. After all, his clients had told him so. And they were powered by just 4 D-cell batteries. How painful could it be to get shocked by that? It's just some little sissy nigrah convicts making a big deal out of nothing and trying to get our brave po-lice in trouble, right?

And truth to tell the testimony of the victims hadn't been all that effective. They were for the most part jailbirds, and their stories did tend to change some. It was looking dicey for a conviction, particularly since cops were the defendants.

So Al is cross examining the FBI agent who recovered the cattle prods. He's holding a new and undamaged identical model of cattle prod which has been admitted as an exhibit to show the jury what the things looked like before they were bent and thrown into the creek. Al is getting the FBI agent to admit certain things which make it appear the prods are little buzzers which work more on the theory of surprise or noise than on an actual shock. And somehow Big Al gets the bright idea that he's going to demonstrate the prod in open court, and show the jury how there's nothing to these little buzzing doohickeys. It'll be a Clarence Darrow moment, and Al will be a legend in the courthouse. 

Except he's never tried it out before. He had no idea what the cattle prods could do. No idea. And he asks the question, "Why, these things don't even really hurt, do they Mr. FBI man?" And in open court he jams the cattle prod into his own thigh.

And it was like someone kicked him in the balls. He immediately leans forward and lets out a big "OOOOOFFFFF!" like someone punched him in the gut, staggering, almost falling down. He looks up totally dumbfounded, clearly never having considered that those battery-powered things could do something like this. So he turns to the prosecution table and, before he could catch himself, in a stage whisper everyone could hear, he says, "Damn, that hurts!"

He recovered himself enough to get a few more questions out, but he finally had to sit down. It was obvious that one shot from the prod had taken a real toll on him. We couldn't have asked for better testimony. And so it was Big Al became a legend in the courthouse - but for how his idiocy convicted his client, not for his Clarence Darrow genius. Ah, good days, good days.

Okay, back to the thread.

Best Sardondi story yet.

[Spooky Matter]

Best Sardondi story yet.

Yes I can hear him with Art now.

[FightTheFuture]

A quick detour for a short war story about cattle prods. Once upon a time, years ago, I was involved in the prosecution of three smalltown cops who occasionally tortured suspects by using cattle prods to extract confessions. The FBI even recovered two of the prods which had been thrown into a creek by one of the officers in an attempt to hide the evidence. One of the cops was represented at trial by a big, blustering ex-football jock named "Big Al." Big Al was an asshole and a bully. He was also essentially stupid, although he had a certain low animal cunning that made him a dangerous enough trial opponent. But he would make these tremendous assumptions, not realizing he was doing it.

One assumption he made was that these cattle prods were essentially harmless. After all, his clients had told him so. And they were powered by just 4 D-cell batteries. How painful could it be to get shocked by that? It's just some little sissy nigrah convicts making a big deal out of nothing and trying to get our brave po-lice in trouble, right?

And truth to tell the testimony of the victims hadn't been all that effective. They were for the most part jailbirds, and their stories did tend to change some. It was looking dicey for a conviction, particularly since cops were the defendants.

So Al is cross examining the FBI agent who recovered the cattle prods. He's holding a new and undamaged identical model of cattle prod which has been admitted as an exhibit to show the jury what the things looked like before they were bent and thrown into the creek. Al is getting the FBI agent to admit certain things which make it appear the prods are little buzzers which work more on the theory of surprise or noise than on an actual shock. And somehow Big Al gets the bright idea that he's going to demonstrate the prod in open court, and show the jury how there's nothing to these little buzzing doohickeys. It'll be a Clarence Darrow moment, and Al will be a legend in the courthouse. 

Except he's never tried it out before. He had no idea what the cattle prods could do. No idea. And he asks the question, "Why, these things don't even really hurt, do they Mr. FBI man?" And in open court he jams the cattle prod into his own thigh.

And it was like someone kicked him in the balls. He immediately leans forward and lets out a big "OOOOOFFFFF!" like someone punched him in the gut, staggering, almost falling down. He looks up totally dumbfounded, clearly never having considered that those battery-powered things could do something like this. So he turns to the prosecution table and, before he could catch himself, in a stage whisper everyone could hear, he says, "Damn, that hurts!"

He recovered himself enough to get a few more questions out, but he finally had to sit down. It was obvious that one shot from the prod had taken a real toll on him. We couldn't have asked for better testimony. And so it was Big Al became a legend in the courthouse - but for how his idiocy convicted his client, not for his Clarence Darrow genius. Ah, good days, good days.

Okay, back to the thread.

Just an old country lawyer. Good stuff!

Hell, that`s right there in the same league as Chris Darden asking O.J. to try on the glove.

[ItsOver]

A quick detour for a short war story about cattle prods....

And when a cattle prod just isn't handy...

[ziznak]

BAND NAME:
"little sissy nigrah convicts"

[UnscreenedCaller]

So Al is cross examining the FBI agent who recovered the cattle prods. He's holding a new and undamaged identical model of cattle prod which has been admitted as an exhibit to show the jury what the things looked like before they were bent and thrown into the creek. Al is getting the FBI agent to admit certain things which make it appear the prods are little buzzers which work more on the theory of surprise or noise than on an actual shock. And somehow Big Al gets the bright idea that he's going to demonstrate the prod in open court, and show the jury how there's nothing to these little buzzing doohickeys. It'll be a Clarence Darrow moment, and Al will be a legend in the courthouse. 

Except he's never tried it out before. He had no idea what the cattle prods could do. No idea. And he asks the question, "Why, these things don't even really hurt, do they Mr. FBI man?" And in open court he jams the cattle prod into his own thigh.

And it was like someone kicked him in the balls. He immediately leans forward and lets out a big "OOOOOFFFFF!" like someone punched him in the gut, staggering, almost falling down. He looks up totally dumbfounded, clearly never having considered that those battery-powered things could do something like this. So he turns to the prosecution table and, before he could catch himself, in a stage whisper everyone could hear, he says, "Damn, that hurts!"

Now many of us would probably write that doing jury duty is something annoying, right? Well, that one incident would have effectively wiped out any and all negative thoughts of jury duty right there and then. In fact, I would have paid the county to be in that pool and watch Big Al go down. A lifetime of experience has taught me that nothing good ever comes from someone named Big Al, be he trial attorney or used car salesman.

*wiping tears of laughter from my eyes*

Best story ever, Sardoni!

[Spooky Matter]

BAND NAME:
"little sissy nigrah convicts"

Or Sissy Convicts 

[Camazotz Automat]

"The Case of the Low Cunning Cattle Prod"

Any story that ends with the conviction of a member of a rarely convicted category is a story I like.

[Heather Wade]

People that drag their feet when they walk.   

In the words of Captain Picard, "Look alive there!!!"

Pick up your damn feet and walk like a living person.  Ffs.  And get some real shoes!!!!  Flip flops are not shoes!!!!

[ItsOver]

... And get some real shoes!!!!  Flip flops are not shoes!!!!

Gag...what's with guys wearing these things???  I've never seen so many ugly feet in my life. 

[Heather Wade]

Gag...what's with guys wearing these things???  I've never seen so many ugly feet in my life. 

Agreed. 

[FightTheFuture]

People that drag their feet when they walk.   

In the words of Captain Picard, "Look alive there!!!"

Pick up your damn feet and walk like a living person.  Ffs.  And get some real shoes!!!!  Flip flops are not shoes!!!!

Ouch. That's pretty much ALL I wear these days (flip flops). I think it's a living-on-the-beach thing.

[Camazotz Automat]

Grand juries composed of nonobjective dolts unfit for kindergarten substitute teaching. But there they are, with your life in their fat little inept drooping starfish hands. It's like a Monty Python script come to life - a bizarro Animal Farm.

John Cleese: Do you know how to spell? No? Do you have any sense of the true nature of the law? No? Do you believe anything a policeman claims as being the absolute God's honest truth? Yes? Even after video shows the officer was lying on all counts? Yes? Would you like a cookie? Yes? Can you walk like a pig? You'll learn?

Welcome to the group! 

[Heather Wade]

Ouch. That's pretty much ALL I wear these days (flip flops). I think it's a living-on-the-beach thing.

I'm sure your cheeks are a bit rosier & your blood pumps much hotter than the half-alive people I see shuffling in their flip flops around here. 

[Camazotz Automat]

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo strutting around like a tweaked up clone of Randy Quaid - the media hanging onto his every word as if he's discovered room temperature superconductors, but in reality says "We've got to try to run the ball more."

Fuck me running. This insistent coverage of the quasi religious ritual known as football is exhausting. Contemplating the millions of dollars paid to Dr. Romo is causing a virtual brain freeze that IS almost superconducting!

I think it might kill me.

"Could this be the end my friend? Romo comin' 'round the bend....."