Author How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours  (Read 6313 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« on: November 10, 2013, 05:35:46 PM »
1. After having been forced to the sidelines for 10 years by a brutal non-compete clause, return to your field by negotiating the contract yourself. Make sure you do it alone, because you're an old pro and you know all the tricks. Besides, nobody knows more than you do, particularly any lawyers or business advisors. 

To Be Continued...

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2013, 05:40:28 PM »
Yep.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2013, 05:48:45 PM »
Piss off your employer by publicly telling them how bad their product is and then try to tell them that you can deliver what they do better than they can.


How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2013, 05:54:08 PM »
Piss off your employer by publicly telling them how bad their product is and then try to tell them that you can deliver what they do better than they can.
Dang, that's pretty good. I hadn't even thought of it.

I move we open this to everyone. If you've got something that you think Art was particularly, irritatingly wrong-headed about in this stink, throw it out there.

Here's my next one:

After spending that decade on the sidelines, rush your negotiations just to get an agreement, because it's much more important to return to the air quickly than to find a broadcasting partner which has the same expectations for a show as you. Things will work out. Hey, you're a millionaire: what could go wrong?

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2013, 05:57:50 PM »
Make sure you shut everything down ASAP, with little to no warning.  People just love surprises, of course.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2013, 06:13:19 PM »
Insert a poison pill in your ultimatum to negotiations with your employer, by requesting them to go completely against their business model to accommodate you.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2013, 06:25:08 PM »
Broadcast on a service that requires your rabidly loyal fanbase to pay to listen to you. And if they want to truly enjoy their listening experience, they should invest in hardware that is good for nothing else when you decide to tell them that the service you're going to use just doesn't live up to your expectations.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2013, 08:00:49 PM »
When claiming to be a call in show in the year 2013, be sure to routinely complain about callers that use cell phones.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2013, 08:03:16 PM »
When claiming to be a call in show in the year 2013, be sure to routinely complain about callers that use cell phones.

Yep.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2013, 08:05:57 PM »
Sell T-shirts for $30-35, hats and mugs for $20-25, bumper stickers for $7, and mouse pads for $20.

Plus heavily marked up shipping charges.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2013, 08:29:33 PM »
Tell everyone daily CEOs included, that you are going to bug out to a exotic archipelago on the other side of the planet if the government doesn't do what you want.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2013, 08:50:05 PM »
Try to please the lemmings on this site ........

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2013, 08:59:09 PM »
Then "experiment" with a stream on your website to try desperately to paint sirius as the one at fault for the trainwreck called the end of Art Bell's Career.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2013, 09:05:36 PM »
Insert a poison pill in your ultimatum to negotiations with your employer, by requesting them to go completely against their business model to accommodate you.
Broadcast on a service that requires your rabidly loyal fanbase to pay to listen to you. And if they want to truly enjoy their listening experience, they should invest in hardware that is good for nothing else when you decide to tell them that the service you're going to use just doesn't live up to your expectations.
BINGO! We have winners! Make some offer you know is absolutely impossible for the other side to accept. "I am outraged that Sirius will not supply free satellite radio in the Jeston's flying car which I have demanded that my listeners receive! I quit!" I think people have been getting it from the start.


Also, go on to the internet forum where you have received the most support for the longest period of time, and insult their intelligence by acting like you are a victim who has been taken advantage of, instead of a man who, at best, didn't do even basic research into how the company you negotiated with operates. The people on the forum will never see through your ploy, and besides, they love you more than they love the truth, so you can get away with anything.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #14 on: November 10, 2013, 09:29:56 PM »
BINGO! We have winners! Make some offer you know is absolutely impossible for the other side to accept. "I am outraged that Sirius will not supply free satellite radio in the Jeston's flying car which I have demanded that my listeners receive! I quit!" I think people have been getting it from the start.


Also, go on to the internet forum where you have received the most support for the longest period of time, and insult their intelligence by acting like you are a victim who has been taken advantage of, instead of a man who, at best, didn't do even basic research into how the company you negotiated with operates. The people on the forum will never see through your ploy, and besides, they love you more than they love the truth, so you can get away with anything.

Don't forget to vaguely allude to some mysterious negative force that is maybe possibly at work in all this.  Your devoted fans will immediately jump to conclusions that it was that other guy!  "Of course! Knew it.  That evil dastardly other guy!"

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #15 on: November 10, 2013, 09:37:34 PM »
When claiming to be a call in show in the year 2013, be sure to routinely complain about callers that use cell phones.
This was cracking me up during the "show", I don't even have a landline and neither does any one of my friends.  Art needed to realize that not everyone was living in 1990. 

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #16 on: November 10, 2013, 10:06:34 PM »
This was cracking me up during the "show", I don't even have a landline and neither does any one of my friends.  Art needed to realize that not everyone was living in 1990.

i use only this sassy bakelite rotary.



How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #17 on: November 10, 2013, 10:59:24 PM »
BINGO! We have winners! Make some offer you know is absolutely impossible for the other side to accept. "I am outraged that Sirius will not supply free satellite radio in the Jeston's flying car which I have demanded that my listeners receive! I quit!" I think people have been getting it from the start.


Also, go on to the internet forum where you have received the most support for the longest period of time, and insult their intelligence by acting like you are a victim who has been taken advantage of, instead of a man who, at best, didn't do even basic research into how the company you negotiated with operates. The people on the forum will never see through your ploy, and besides, they love you more than they love the truth, so you can get away with anything.


You would not be a good cult member, since that would involve unquestioning obedience,  perpetual guilt and eventual self destruction.  I see what you are doing here.  You are inciting the bleeding hearts to attack anyone who applies simple clean logic to this situation.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #18 on: November 11, 2013, 12:42:42 AM »
This was cracking me up during the "show", I don't even have a landline and neither does any one of my friends.  Art needed to realize that not everyone was living in 1990.

It's not even like kids these days! I'm in my mid-30s and none of my friends have landlines.

Most of my communication is text and email. We don't even use the phone part of our phones that much.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #19 on: November 11, 2013, 01:16:14 AM »
i use only this sassy bakelite rotary.



The whole problem boils down to the fact that he had neither an East or West of the Rockies line.

" The number in New York is Bigelow 8 ... "


How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #21 on: November 11, 2013, 03:43:21 AM »
Casio was the only person who phoned in using a land-line  :'(

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #22 on: November 11, 2013, 04:39:15 AM »
Now to get some of these strategies inserted as virulent memes within the Miley Cyrus brand.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #23 on: November 11, 2013, 12:39:09 PM »
I keep a landline and still have one Princess phone plugged in. Which is why I am always able to communicate with the outside world. And with static-free quality which even Art would approve.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #24 on: November 11, 2013, 12:58:33 PM »
I keep a landline and still have one Princess phone plugged in...

Is it pink?

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #25 on: November 11, 2013, 01:07:39 PM »
Don't forget to vaguely allude to some mysterious negative force that is maybe possibly at work in all this.  Your devoted fans will immediately jump to conclusions that it was that other guy!  "Of course! Knew it.  That evil dastardly other guy!"
1.  Although your producer claims that you have "thousands" of potential guests, be sure that the majority are less than average and DO NOT prep any guests for an interview to work more efficiently.

2. BE SURE  to inform your audience and fan base who have paid to subscribe to your much anticipatated radio program that they are "haters" if they have the  temerity to question your abrupt disenfranchisement and departure.

3.  When all else fails, claim to have  a nonspecific malady such as "back pain".  (I guess that that worked for Limbaugh, for awhile).

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #26 on: November 11, 2013, 01:12:08 PM »
3.  When all else fails, claim to have  a nonspecific malady such as "back pain".  (I guess that that worked for Limbaugh, for awhile).

...and that you will crawl to work and back if you have too.

4. appear incredibly desperate like number 3.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #27 on: November 11, 2013, 01:41:59 PM »
5: write a book that sells a lot of copies, that leads to a film that sells a lot of tickets, about a subject that NEVER GETS DISCUSSED ONCE for the ENTIRE six weeks.


I guess there was no time between Ghostbusting and The God Part to just take a minute to look at the Got-damn sky.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #28 on: November 11, 2013, 01:50:19 PM »
The whole problem boils down to the fact that he had neither an East or West of the Rockies line.

" The number in New York is Bigelow 8 ... "

Astute observation Falkie.

Millions of would-be callers didn't know what side of the Rockies number to call, so we only had Robert Casio and the Aussie guy who didn't know what the Rockies are anyways.

How To Destroy an Internationally Known Brand in 24 Hours
« Reply #29 on: November 11, 2013, 01:50:57 PM »
I have to retract mine--the topic is "in 24 hours," and my #5 is over six weeks.

Better luck next time!