Happy Birthday to the Marines

[georgesucks]

Well its the Marines Corp Birthday On 10 Nov 2013. So to all the current and past Marines, Happy Birthday.

[Sardondi]

I respect the Marines a great deal, not just for the high level of training and esprit de corps, which I think is unmatched in the military services of the U.S., but for their common sense as well. One of the signs of the USMC's common sense is in their uniforms.

Now, the Marines have magnificent dress blue uniforms, which are gloriously ornate, a throwback to the age of Napoleon.


But they're made from natural fabrics, primarily cotton and linen, which are notoriously difficult to keep pressed and sharp looking. So some of the other military services like the US Coast Guard and the US Navy changed their uniforms a few years ago from natural fabrics to petroleum-based fabrics like double knit, nylon, Dacron and the like. This was for neatness and convenience. The commanders of the Navy and Coast Guard thought that it was important and convenient for their sailors and guardsmen to not spend time ironing their uniforms; but instead to have uniforms which didn't wrinkle, so they used permanent press-treated fabrics in their uniforms.

True, their uniforms couldn't be made to look crisp and pressed. And they tended to burn easily and were unable to be put out. Plus they tended to stick to the wearer's body, so that being near an open flame while wearing that kind of uniform was sort of like wrapping oneself very tightly in a huge plastic bag and then setting it alight, to be helplessly burned to death. But that is not the issue today.

As to neatness, the permanent press and poly fabrics were tough to keep looking sharp. They tended to look sort of cheap and tacky, and they were unbearably hot since they didn't breathe. Plus little fabric "pills" formed on them as they got older. And there were some other problems with getting bodily secretions out of them. But the sea-going men and women didn't have to waste much time with an iron, which the admirals thought was most important, so they were happy.

But the jarhead generals, if I may be so familiar, had looked ahead and chosen well. They knew that November 10 came around every year. They knew what happened on November 10. And they knew it was important to have easily cleaned and washed dress uniforms. So that is why the Marines kept cotton as the primary fabric in their ornate dress blue uniforms.

See, it's very important to have a uniform that is easy to get washed, starched and ironed until it has razor-sharp creases. Because on the night of November 10, the USMC always dress in their magnificent blues, and drink an insane amount of alcohol...and then from the lowest boot to the Corps Commandant, every Marine will then puke up copious amounts of their stomach contents...all over their fine dress blue uniforms. But because the Corps generals had thought ahead and kept natural fabrics in their uniforms, within 24 hours no one will be able to tell. Because the evidence will be long washed out and ironed away.

And those sailors and Coast Guardsmen who drink to excess for the honor of knowing the Marines, and then are forced to, uh, involuntary emesis, will have their easy-care permanent press nylon double knit uniforms permanently ruined by vomit.