Things That Annoy You

[Hautex]

The fact that my three daughters started dating before they were 35.

Always remember, If you have a boy, you only have to worry about 1 penis, If you have girls, you have to worry about them all.....chin up compadre'

[Hautex]

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on ebay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.  Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on ebay) and ran it up the flag pole ...

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.  I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel.  Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.

Safe at last â€" Ain’t America great or what?

[Gruntled]

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on ebay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.  Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on ebay) and ran it up the flag pole ...

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.  I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel.  Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.

Safe at last â€" Ain’t America great or what?

Hautex, you are on a roll.
Well done.

[Juan]

That Mr. Kaku's ads have replaced those for Asian brides and Arab girlfriends.

[Yorkshire pud]

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on ebay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.  Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on ebay) and ran it up the flag pole ...

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.  I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel.  Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.

Safe at last â€" Ain’t America great or what?

The old ones are the best. Tip your waitress.

[albrecht]

(Chili-burger (with onions)+onion rings)Busch=tums.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

the sweetest smelling asshole in town

I'm just wondering how you would have determined this.

[albrecht]

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on ebay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.  Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on ebay) and ran it up the flag pole ...

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.  I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel.  Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat us down.

Safe at last â€" Ain’t America great or what?

Saw an old Chevy with the flag as a back window just now. Used yer Obama joke about public housing earlier. Mixed reviews. I blame I said around kids and didnt have your delivery.  But got several l laughs n silent nods but others, so thank you for joke.

[akwilly]

Am fixind to go have some sex and the girl is notorious for wanting to do it doggy style. I am always nervous that I will hit the wrong hole. This is going to happen in the woods and it is very dark and rainy. This annoys me

[21st Century Man]

Am fixind to go have some sex and the girl is notorious for wanting to do it doggy style. I am always nervous that I will hit the wrong hole. This is going to happen in the woods and it is very dark and rainy. This annoys me

Bring a headlamp. Also make sure she is clean back there in case of mistake.  Just be cool and get into the passion of the experience. 

[akwilly]

Bring a headlamp. Also make sure she is clean back there in case of mistake.  Just be cool and get into the passion of the experience.

I did bring a headlamp. Oddly it was distracting bonce things got going. I found myself scanning the trees for owls or bears. It was a let down except when I got to place my beer on her back. Overall I'm gladish I did it but sex in the woods in the middle of the night with poring rain should a been better. At least her boyfriend didn't catch us. Overall I would say 2 stars out of 5.

[Yorkshire pud]

I did bring a headlamp. Oddly it was distracting bonce things got going. I found myself scanning the trees for owls or bears. It was a let down except when I got to place my beer on her back. Overall I'm gladish I did it but sex in the woods in the middle of the night with poring rain should a been better. At least her boyfriend didn't catch us. Overall I would say 2 stars out of 5.

What score did she give it?

[UnscreenedCaller]

I just received a spam email asking me to consider the cost of cremation over burial. Feck yourself sideways, Mr. Cremation Costs. Anyway, I want a Viking funeral so double feck yourself.

[Yorkshire pud]

I just received a spam email asking me to consider the cost of cremation over burial. Feck yourself sideways, Mr. Cremation Costs. Anyway, I want a Viking funeral so double feck yourself.

In the absence of a long ship, will a Hudson ferry suffice? Just thinking of the logistics in getting a long ship built and shipped over to NY before you start decomposing badly.

Just askin.

[UnscreenedCaller]

In the absence of a long ship, will a Hudson ferry suffice? Just thinking of the logistics in getting a long ship built and shipped over to NY before you start decomposing badly.

Just askin.

It sorta lacks the panache, but ok. I know the Staten Island Ferry commuters would be pissed off so I won't even ask about that, and Capt Ben's codfish boat is out of the question, too odiferous.

Right now I'm more concerned with rounding up a crew who are handy with flaming longbows. Not that I'm planning on going anywhere soon, but you know, always be prepared.

[whoozit]

I've noticed most peoples brains have been replaced by pleasure thermometers.

[Evil Twin Of Zen]

Ari Sarsalari (weather channel meteorologist) should literally stop using the word literally.

[BobGrau]

It's fuckin snowing out there  :

Edit: I mean it's literally snowing out there.

[Gruntled]

I've noticed most peoples brains have been replaced by pleasure thermometers.

Thank you for this accurate observation.

[GravitySucks]

It's fuckin snowing out there  :

Edit: I mean it's literally snowing out there.

I literally just checked, and it is not snowing out there.

[Hautex]

I literally just checked, and it is not snowing out there.

Not here either... Just sun and birds and quick-growing friggin' grass..

[Yorkshire pud]

Making the mistake of clicking on any website just for curiosity and then getting bombarded with ads about same on here. It's time for a cull of the twats who write the software.

[Dr. MD MD]

Making the mistake of clicking on any website just for curiosity and then getting bombarded with ads about same on here. It's time for a cull of the twats who write the software.

Twats write it?! I once saw this lady who could do target practice with bananas and I thought that was a lot of control but writing...wow! Pen or typewriter? 

[bigchucka]

Right now I'm more concerned with rounding up a crew who are handy with flaming longbows. Not that I'm planning on going anywhere soon, but you know, always be prepared.

Ya have to wait for Vikings and Game Of Thrones to wrap up filming.  Then they become employable as mercenaries.

[Gruntled]

Dam Chipmunks!
Little bastards built a nest inside the airbox of one of the dirt bikes over the winter.

They ate half the foam airfilter and shredded a plastic tarp.
Chip and Dale have a price on their heads.

[analog kid]

Zooey Deschanel. She's awful. Stop casting her in movies.

[albrecht]

Dam Chipmunks!
Little bastards built a nest inside the airbox of one of the dirt bikes over the winter.

They ate half the foam airfilter and shredded a plastic tarp.
Chip and Dale have a price on their heads.

Send me a self-addressed, postage paid USPS box and I'll try to catch the 4 1/2 rat snake a neighbor saw in my yard this morning. That should take care of the problem. Though, I'm hoping it will get even bigger and start taking out the squirrels (sorry Zeebo) or birds before they get my tomatoes, again.

[analog kid]

Making the mistake of clicking on any website just for curiosity and then getting bombarded with ads about same on here. It's time for a cull of the twats who write the software.

There's an easy solution for that, and it doesn't just hide ads, it prevents them from loading. It cuts a massive load of wasted bandwidth and spyware-laden junk from ever reaching your machine. It's a tiny download, uses no resources, installs right from within your browser, you'll never know it's there, and it's so effective that spyware scanning software would no longer be necessary.

[nbirnes]

There's an easy solution for that, and it doesn't just hide ads, it prevents them from loading. It cuts a massive load of wasted bandwidth and spyware-laden junk from ever reaching your machine. It's a tiny download, uses no resources, installs right from within your browser, you'll never know it's there, and it's so effective that spyware scanning software would no longer be necessary.

And what is the name of this magical potion? And is it available for Macs? 

[analog kid]

And what is the name of this magical potion? And is it available for Macs? 

uBlock Origin. It depends on which browser you're using, but it's available for Firefox and Chrome.