A fairytale for Asuka and Dr. MD MD

[Stellar]

Once upon a time there was a wordy boy called Dr. MD MD . He was on the way to see his GAY Asuka Langley , when he decided to take a short cut through Black Asuka.

It wasn't long before Dr. MD MD got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, guns, but guns was nowhere to be found! Dr. MD MD began to panic. He felt sure he had packed guns. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, he saw a large boar dressed in a Pink skirt disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Dr. MD MD.

For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed boar. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Dr. MD MD reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from spinach, a house made from cookie, a house made from pie and a house made from ice cream.

Dr. MD MD could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.

"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Dr. MD MD looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Dr. MD MD a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was guns!

"guns!" shouted Dr. MD MD. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give guns back!" cried Dr. MD MD.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let guns out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, three large boars rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Dr. MD MD recognised the one in the Pink skirt that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Boar," said the witch.

"Good morning." The boar noticed guns. "Who is this?"

"That's guns," explained the witch.

"Ooh! guns would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the boar.

The witch shook her head. "guns is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Dr. MD MD interrupted. "guns lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Boar ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Boar looked at the house made from ice cream and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from ice cream if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next boar. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have guns."

Dr. MD MD watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give guns to Big Boar. He didn't think guns would like living with a large boar, away from his house and all his other toys.

The other two boars watched while Big Boar put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Boar. "Just you watch!"

Big Boar pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cookie. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

Eventually, Big Boar started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of cookie, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Boar.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Boar never finished eating the front door made from cookie and guns remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Boar stepped up, and approached the house made from pie.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Boar. "Just you watch!"

Average Boar pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pie. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After a while, Average Boar started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

   ...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a boar!" said Average Boar.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Boar, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the boar away under his arm.

Average Boar never finished eating the front door made from pie and guns remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Boar stepped up, and approached the house made from ice cream.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Boar. "Just you watch!"

Little Boar pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from ice cream. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

   And more.

      And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Boar started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating ice cream for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Boar into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Boar. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Boar was never seen again.

Little Boar never finished eating the front door made from ice cream and guns remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep guns."

"Not so fast," said Dr. MD MD. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from spinach. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the boars. He won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Dr. MD MD.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted guns back."

Dr. MD MD ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from spinach and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.

Dr. MD MD sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Dr. MD MD. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Dr. MD MD's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from spinach. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Dr. MD MD was down to the final piece of the door made from spinach. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Dr. MD MD had eaten the entire front door of the house made from spinach.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over guns or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Dr. MD MD hurried over and grabbed guns, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, guns was unharmed.

Dr. MD MD thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Asuka Langley. It was starting to get dark.

When Dr. MD MD got to Asuka Langley's house, his GAY threw his arms around him.

"I was so worried!" cried Asuka Langley. "You are very late."

As Dr. MD MD described his day, he could tell that Asuka Langley didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.

"What's that?" asked Asuka Langley.

Dr. MD MD unwrapped a doorknob made from cookie. "Pudding!" he said.

Asuka Langley almost fell off his chair.

The End

[Asuka Langley]

TL;DR

[Stellar]

Asuka is no fun

[pate]

https://youtu.be/bwva7kLB2SQ

Aw, mutton.  What rhymes with "elevendies"????

Nautical Shore.

[Ciardelo]

Aw, mutton.  What rhymes with "elevendies"?

Elvin Undees?