Advice That Real Doctors Never Give Because They Are All Got-Damned Quacks

[Jackstar]

You've got a problem. You don't listen. And after consulting with you for over ten minutes, I can tell: seems like you can't listen. Look, look--you don't need a hearing aid; you need a listening aid. I've got one upstairs you--well, We--can borrow. It's shaped like a hammer, it's in the garage. Not the one that is shaped like a pickaxe, that's a focusing device. GET THE HAMMER. Go on and get it, come back here, I'll be in my private office.

Don't knock. Just come on in. That'll be $350 fiat and $10,000 in crypto, please. Trust me, you'll want to pay in advance. You got all that? You get it? Good, now get those little legs moving. See, that's how I know you can't listen: you're still standing here. Sad!"

First in a series. Y'all should pay some attention.