BellGab.com Archive

For the love of God and the sake of everything that's pure and decent, would somebody please call Sean Hannity.

I was going to vote for Kodos until Trump made it abundantly clear that he will never take any guff from Rosie O'Donnell.

Quote from: JesusJuice on September 26, 2016, 11:39:47 PM
Tarmarins

I'm a big fan of tamarins! Most monkeys, and all chimps, give me the heebie jeebies because they could potentially flip out at any time and rip your face off, but tamarins are the one exception. They look like benign, sagacious repositories of esoteric wisdom who could teach a person many useful things during a lazy afternoon on the veranda while sharing some good liquor and various other refreshments.

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 26, 2016, 07:44:47 PM
I bet you say that about all animal-headed deities. 

Only Nekhbet, and that's entirely different. The things I say to her while prostrating myself before the makeshift shrine in my man cave would make Larry Flynt blush.

QuoteSpeaking of the illustrious Lady Mondegreen and her interesting origins, I don't know if there could ever be a more fitting name for a Nevada golf course/bunny ranch combo establishment!

I would invest in that, and suggest you provide automats for every tee and rumpus room. There's nothing a man who plays a round of golf in gaudy slacks and stupid hat enjoys more than a sandwich and slab of pie after cheating on his wife with a prostitute. That's a license to print money!

Again, there's always a sofa bed in Branson for you and Karen during the two weeks after Joe Don Baker's birthday. Don't forget, I can also get front row center tickets at Yakov Smirnoff's theater any time, and if we're lucky he'll be in town! "Wot a cahntry!" 

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 26, 2016, 01:56:28 AM
Mitchell!

Quote from: Yorkshire pud on September 26, 2016, 12:29:29 AM
And then they eat her alive.

Christ on a cracker, do you ever tire of being tedious?

Quote from: GravitySucks on September 26, 2016, 12:20:25 AM
It still sucks. Especially once one realizes it.

That's the only thing I get about it, and since it wouldn't make any difference if I was smarter than Michio Kaku, I'm going to quit wasting valuable drinking time trying to understand it.

Quote from: brig on September 25, 2016, 01:19:33 AM
This is further confounded the the theory that suggests, that perhaps, gravity does not exist.  That perhaps "gravity" is just a word created to define something that cannot be understood with only human senses, and the current limitations of the human mind.

That sounds like one of the primary laws of animation physics, which states that gravity will not act upon a cartoon character until it realizes that it's hovering in mid air.

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 25, 2016, 05:48:18 PM
Topic not limited to early misunderstandings, though those are often the funniest.

When I was a kid, and singing She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain, I had the distinct impression that the characters involved were going to travel to a mechanical device... when she finally came 'round that goddamn mountain:

We will all go to meter when she comes.

This thread is an example of why I keep trying to convince people that you're not just another remorseless Mesoamerican bat deity with a fearsomely pretty face who controls a vast empire of self-service eating establishments based on the ingenious concept of coin operated pie and sandwich dispensing contraptions.

And Lady Mondegreen.

Praise BP and give my love to Karen.

Quote from: Beelzebubbelah on September 24, 2016, 11:50:20 PM
==================================================
'Allo!
Yust got on line again after my furinshugginer windoze kkraputer had an brain lockup,i am with you perforce yet.
Qvestions,qvestions.
1)what has co-incidence got to do with you not knowing how to spell Mr.Ochs' name,even though you actually remember about his untimeley emotional collapse and alleged suicide?
2)Greater Trump"World"was added to my post by some kind of error,am i now moderated,ie,under suspect light for useing"high grade art"that looks porn-y to the un-educated?
3)If the 'weevil'empire(ie,Nato) staged the mall shooting yesterday in Burlington,Wa,to distract from Friday night admissions that Joo "Kerry"screwed up in aknowledging 'Murkka and co.attacks in(A)syria...
Why wasn't the apparent patsey produced DOA on Mall soil??
Enqvireing minds want to know...
"B_B"
PS:No Logo:
"[7VF]"

Sometimes it's best to be faux nettical. 

Does anyone else wonder how there is room for millions of shiftless "Dindus" to live rent free (while doing God knows what) inside the heads of a dozen or so Bellgabbers?  Asking for a friend.

An oldie, but goodie.


https://youtu.be/QEJ9HrZq7Ro

Kids today wouldn't know a creepy clown if it crept out of their closets in the middle of the night and harvested their kidneys without anesthetic. Or much worse, in the case of the guy in the last two photos.

Quote from: paladin1991 on September 24, 2016, 10:51:40 PM
Felchie would use that bidet like a water fountain.

That's only appropriate, since he has a long history of using drinking fountains as bidets.

Quote from: LucaParcelli on September 24, 2016, 03:17:29 PM
SO SORRY!!!

Life intruded on me yesterday...

No worries! That's going to happen.

QuoteI hope you didn't pass up a date to listen to the show.

That's never going to happen. Not that I get many opportunities to do so.

Better luck next time. Please keep us posted.

Quote from: Beelzebubbelah on September 23, 2016, 09:48:50 PM
==================================================
'Allo!
with you yet am i.
wish to correct you for phoenetic errors?
A.K.A."Phil(lip)?
Ochs"?
QV.:"Outside a small circle of friends",
"Pleasures of the Harbour"?
THAT phil Ochs?
"B_B"

George Noory taught us that there are no coincidences.

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 24, 2016, 01:02:32 AM
XVII. We are but visitors on this rock, hurtling through time and space at 66,000 miles an hour, tethered to a burning sphere by an invisible force in an unfathomable universe.  This most of us take for granted, while refusing to believe these forces have any more effect on us than a butterfly beating its wings halfway around the world.

Here's the thing. While I pretty much get gravity and centrifugal force on a primal, pre-monolith monkey brain level that's hard wired into my DNA, as God is my witness, I will never go hungry again or understand how it's possible to stand upright on the side or bottom of an oblate spheroid.

We present for your consideration, a whimsical, yet profoundly thought provoking song about a camel, the significance of which will not be lost on regular followers of this thread.

It's thought provoking, because it makes what some might interpret as a puzzling prediction. Puzzling, because it appears to make a cryptic reference, three decades before its discovery, to a famous, and to the deep chagrin of many, an infamous and monumentally misunderstood chemical compound that had a profound impact on human society for good or ill depending on your point of view.

So, without further ado, here's tonight's offering, a little ditty we call, "Ali Baba's Camel." To some it will be an Arabian Nightmare, while others are sure to dig the swinging arrangement, particularly the smoking hot horn parts.


https://youtu.be/WnMH2ZhsmmE

Quote from: Beelzebubbelah on September 23, 2016, 09:24:49 PM
'Allo!
With you yet perforce am i.
not listening to the radio,some-times reading transcripts.
haveing much tech probs from sayanim/no_such_agency robo_shills.
Didn't hear show discussed here,however i know some about fascist poleitzei psychological operations that involve createing the false meme "serial killer"as told in suppressed book by ASSASSINATED author dave mcgowan/mcgowen,"Programmed to Kill".
In fact,most'Serial Killings'are actual mop-ups by the mercenaries of politicly in convenient peasant fellahin.
personal experience suggests many'snapped'individuals accused posthumously of knocking off family and'suicideing'are sucessful assassinations by death pigs like the kill of labour honcho Yablonsky or danny cassolaro,hunter thompson,et.al.
Und zo,study of so-called serial killers is simply an tale told by an 'useful' idiot:
"Full of sound and fury,yet signifying nothing".
Q.E.D.
"B_B"
PS:No Logo:
"[7VF]"

Fill oaks.

Quote from: LucaParcelli on September 21, 2016, 10:17:55 PM
Friday night!

7:30 PM to 8:30 PM Pacific time. An hour show! Twice the Lucaness.

What happened to the double shot of Lucaness? Unless I'm looking at last year's clock and next year's calendar, it should be on.  Technical difficulties?

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 23, 2016, 03:20:52 PM
You had better run, you candy ass little hippies.

I'm just lookin' for a reason to blast you.

"And since you asked, Joe DiMaggio didn't go anywhere. He's been a skin job from the start and commands a legion of Giant Death Percolators."

.

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 23, 2016, 01:13:30 AM
That is possibly a wolf spider, though I can't be 100 percent.

But am 100 percent it is not a brown recluse, for various reasons.

It's harmless and is only hunting pests for you. Just put him outside if you haven't killed it.

I welcome spiders in my house for the highlighted reason, and years ago had a pair of wolf spiders that patrolled my walls and liked to hang out behind my amp when I whanged on my guitar while pleasantly self-medicated. Unfortunately, the cat I have now isn't inclined to be charitable to anything she sees scurrying across the floor despite my efforts to convince her to embrace a "live and let live" philosophy. I warn them to be careful, but it just seems to go in one ear and out the other right before they get eaten.  There's nothing you can do about that, because sometimes arachnids are just too darn stubborn to accept help. Praise BP.

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 22, 2016, 02:43:09 PM
Good point, you ACME-hating bastard.

But still, some believe you can be the Coyote and "this time" turn it all around and catch the bird.  You just have to bend the rules a little and kidnap one of the cartoon scriptwriter's children and open up a dialog with these predestination creating uppity writer assholes. 

I kid.

But I stand by my first draw.  When you start feeling like you're falling for her, you have to stop.  Take inventory.  And determine who is REALLY the Coyote here.

The rules could also be helpfully used for observing internet dating, as in being the third party trying to warn a friend not to go down that road again.

"You remember that chick off match.com?  Do you?  Goddamn it, she tried to poison you, Lennie.  Have you forgotten that?  She laced your PEZ candy with God knows what and was planning to Beep Beep all the way to the motherhumping bank thanks to the insurance target you set up for her!  Is that what you really want?  Are you that goddamn desperate?  To die for it?"

"Well, luckily, I had my ACME antidote kit and ..."

"Damn it, Lennie!  She didn't have to watch you get your stomach pumped!  I did!  I dragged your Coyote ass to the ER!"

"But..."

"Fuck you, and fuck ACME.  And fuck that creepy rabbit PEZ dispenser."

"But, George..."

All valid points, but that's not what I meant. I was referring to the kind of "Road Runner and Coyote" activities that imaginative, adventurous mommies and daddies who love each other very much sometimes like to engage in when the kids are at camp or sleeping over at a friend's house. 

I will add to that that being the Road Runner means never having to chew off any appendages in order to make a quick getaway in the morning if the situation warrants it.

The rabbit Pez dispenser is creepy, but I would love to have a Harvey model that dispenses rum, Elwood!

Quote from: TigerLily on September 22, 2016, 02:15:58 PM
Not so bad

I really don't want to think of zeebo burying anything anywhere but in the ground, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't, either. No ifs, ands, or....you know.

Quote from: Camazotz Automat on September 22, 2016, 02:14:54 AM
Camazotz Automat's rules for online dating.

RULE 0.
Determine who is the Road Runner and who is the Coyote. 

That one's a no brainer. Never be the Coyote. Beep beep!

Quote from: mv on September 22, 2016, 01:23:54 AM
Original rules for the road runner and coyote by Chuck Jones:

If gravity wasn't everyone's greatest enemy, Rule 8 would be hilarious.

Quote from: TigerLily on September 22, 2016, 12:44:27 AM
I'd like to shave his head into a Mohawk

If you really mean "head" instead of "hair" I would donate generously to the charity of your choice for the right to hold him down while you "skullpted" him. 

Quote from: TigerLily on September 22, 2016, 12:20:37 AM
Pray for zeebo

Eewww. Just no.

Quote from: LucaParcelli on September 21, 2016, 12:18:07 AM
Let's make it happen on the air, RGW ghost!

Thanks for the offer! If not this week, another time for sure. I never get tired of talking about all the things I'd like to see happen to Wolf Blitzer. Cheers!