Tell a joke about Art. He has thick skin, so he won't mind.

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

Anyone got any jokes about Art? (Or even Coast and Dave)
(Keep it playful if you can)

[coaster]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that you hang on the wall? Art.

[GravitySucks]

Anyone got any jokes about Art?

Two aliens walk into a bar.  They look at a picture behind the bar. The first alien asks the bartender, "What's that?" 


The bartender says "That's art".

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

What's the difference between Art and the Greys? One is an alien that probes, the other likes to probe aliens.

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

Q:Why did a young Art Bell have to stop taking piano lessons as a boy?
A:Because every time his instructor tried to teach him how to play "Chopsticks", he tried to marry the piano.

/groan

[GuerrillaUnReal]

Q:Why did a young Art Bell have to stop taking piano lessons as a boy?
A:Because every time his instructor tried to teach him how to play "Chopsticks" he tried to marry the piano.

/groan

That is the hardest I've laughed in a long time. That joke is so money. 

[Radio Activity]

Someone stole corn from Art's garden. The police charged him with stalking.

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

That is the hardest I've laughed in a long time. That joke is so money. 

Why'd you remove yours? I liked it!

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

Someone stole corn from Art's garden. The police charged him with stalking.

Corny.

[GuerrillaUnReal]

Why'd you remove yours? I liked it!

I'm someone who likes on the edge humor but I'm not sure taking a swing at so many people in that joke would be in good taste in the moment even though I also find it really funny. 

[Radio Activity]

I'm someone who likes on the edge humor but I'm not sure taking a swing at so many people in that joke would be in good taste in the moment even though I also find it really funny. 

It was definitely funny, and not too bad. Maybe change the names to Mr. Dell and Mr. Waith.

[Autistic Star Children]

guy walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. Bartender asks "So what'll it be?"

guy thinks about it for a second and says "surprise me"

Bartender says "no problem pal" and takes out a glass. He starts to pour whiskey in it, then stops and walks away. he comes back, dumps out the whiskey and tosses the glass into the sink, takes out a new glass and starts to pour whiskey then stops, walks away and repeats this process several times. Finally, he tosses the whiskey glass in the sink, pours water into a dirty cup and gives it to the guy and says "Take this and like it, that'll be $5"

The guy is pissed, he demands to speak to the owner. Owner comes over and hears the story, and says

"Oh he was making you an Art Bell"

[pyewacket]

I'm not good at these, but here's one to sum it up simply.

There was a man with a voice that just fit
He was clever and well known for his wit
He left when he got bored
Please come back his fans roared
He did for a bit but again he just quit
Never minding the nerve he did hit
Too late he found out there would be no reward
So fast he went from adored to ignored

[Tinfoil_Helm]

The scene: Art and Heather are just settling down to bed for the night and Art is starting to get a little frisky under the sheets...

Heather: Oh, I don't know about tonight, Art.  It's not that I'm not in the mood, it's that I have a gynecologist appointment in the morning.  And I kinda want to stay fresh, ya know?

Art: You're not seeing the dentist tomorrow too, are ya?

[DeltaBravo]

How does Art get his listeners pregnant?

He fucks them.

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

Carnac the Great time...


A: A work ethic, a sensible prenuptial agreement, and his other children.

*drumroll...

Q:What are 3 things you won't find at the Bell compound?

[GuerrillaUnReal]

Carnac the Great time...


A: A work ethic, a sensible prenuptial agreement, and his other children.

*drumroll...

Q:What are 3 things you won't find at the Bell compound?

ZING!

[Ciardelo]

Q: What has two legs and a hundred assholes thinking they're owed something?


A: Art Bell!

[coaster]

A Prince, Bill Gates, and an Asian walk into a bar. They all sit down and notice Art Bell drowning his sorrows at the bar.
The Prince walks up to Art and says "Art! You are the greatest radio host in all the land. I will give you all the riches in my country if you agree to go back to radio."
"Appreciate the offer", Art says. "But I am terrified of my life. I have a stalker who has threatened to kill me."
Bill Gates walks up to Art and says "Art, you are the king of late night radio. I will sign over everything I own and give you all of my money if you go back to radio."
Again, Art states "No can do. I am terrified of my life. I have a stalker who has threatened to kill me."
Lastly, the meager Asian man walks up to Art and says "Art you were great at radio. I have nothing to offer you and I know you wouldn't come back anyway. I know your life has been threatened and nothing is worth jeopardizing your safety"
"Hold on a second", Art says. "Do you have a daughter?"

meh..

[Uncle Duke]

The scene: Art and Heather are just settling down to bed for the night and Art is starting to get a little frisky under the sheets...

Heather: Oh, I don't know about tonight, Art.  It's not that I'm not in the mood, it's that I have a gynecologist appointment in the morning.  And I kinda want to stay fresh, ya know?

Art: You're not seeing the dentist tomorrow too, are ya?

When I heard that joke it was a proctologist, not a dentist.  Progress.

[Tinfoil_Helm]

When I heard that joke it was a proctologist, not a dentist.  Progress.

Heh.  Proctologist.  That's shit's dark.

[chefist]

Knock, Knock...Who's there?

Not Art Bell...

[littlechris]

The scene: Art and Heather are just settling down to bed for the night and Art is starting to get a little frisky under the sheets...

Heather: Oh, I don't know about tonight, Art.  It's not that I'm not in the mood, it's that I have a gynecologist appointment in the morning.  And I kinda want to stay fresh, ya know?

Art: You're not seeing the dentist tomorrow too, are ya?

Bwaaa haha haha!!!
ROFLMAO!!!!

Arthur Wiliam Bell to have another public meltdown in 5..4..3..2..

[Emergency Bacon]

Bwaaa haha haha!!!
ROFLMAO!!!!

Arthur Wiliam Bell to have another public meltdown in 5..4..3..2..

I would love to see Art stealing Bill Clinton's lines on this subject. 

[norland2424]

I would love to see Art stealing Bill Clinton's lines on this subject. 

[Emergency Bacon]

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

Another Carnack

Answer: 99% of last weeks Powerball players and Art Bell's other families

Question: What are 2 things that won't get any money when it's all over?

[akwilly]

Art and Norry walk into a bar. You think one of them woulda ducked.

[PathoJen]

Q:Why did a young Art Bell have to stop taking piano lessons as a boy?
A:Because every time his instructor tried to teach him how to play "Chopsticks", he tried to marry the piano.

/groan

+Infinity

[Royal_Tenenbaum]

Question: What do Art Bell and his Facebook supporters have in common?

Answer: Neither work.