Midnight In The Desert

[albrecht]

They're god's joke.  They're fucking weeds, not trees.  Crows use them as storage lockers, that's kind of cool.

I note I used bad spelling. Crows are smart. Check yer 6.

[TigerLily]

Nice to be in harmony with you!

Just don't get picky

[El Chorro]

Heather's guest now insinuating that Art was among the people directly attacked by forces to commit suicide.

[paladin1991]

A car pulls up to a cuckshed. A lady, near 70, gets out and walks towards the building. The door opens and Art exits. A moment later Heather appears in the doorway holding a white pad. Art nods as he walks past, back to his part of the compound. The lady approaches Heather and says "He forgot to reapply his pee-pad, did he?"
"Ummm, yes." Heather replies.
"He does that a lot. Lets sit down dear, we have much to talk about."
Stories of swinging fill the night before one final one. The story of one fateful swinging night that leads to this conversation.
"Art is your daddy, Heater." Ann finally admits.
"No! He can't be!" exclaims Heather.
"When in doubt, look to the cheekbones dear." explains Ann, "And I can't stand one more minute in this den of debauchery. I've finally had my fill of this lifestyle. I'm moving to Vegas." And with that Ann is off.
The next night Art visits the cuckshed but doesn't know something is different. "Wanna take a ride?" he exclaims as he opens the door. Heather is standing there holding his pee pad.
"Oh, this is where I left it?" Art asks.
"Where else would you have left it last night!?!" Heather asks.
"Ohhh! Ummm. Well, From The High Desert! And... cummm, West of the.. ummm. Where's your mom?"
"She saw the pee pad, Art. And she told me."
"She told you what?"
"That you are my father!"
"I'm your WHAT? Nooooooo."
"She says yes."
"Can't be"
"Look at the cheekbones, Art."
Art ponders for a moment and his eyes pop open, something clicks. "Ok, I believe you. This is so hot. I have the weirdest boner right now."
"Art! No! And we can't do this anymore." Heather explains.
"I mean, I've always wanted to fuck myself," Art ignores her and presses on, "but I could never figure out the logistics. I figured there would have to be portals. This is really close to it though!"
"Art, we can't do this anymore!"
"I mean look at the cheekbones!"
"Art!" Heather shouts, "We can't DO THIS ANYMORE!"
"Well I shouldn't get you preggers now."
"Right, and we have to stop it all." Heather says.
"Well, there is still the butt stuff." says Art hopefully.
"You leased the butt to Whitley, remember?" reminds Heather.
"No, not my butt. YOU'RE butt!" says Art, happily fixing the problem.
"Wait, you leased him your butt too?" Heather asks.
"Only mine. Wait, did he tell you he has tenants rights on your starfish?"
"Yes!"
"That bastard!" exclaims Art. "What did he do to it."
"He just puts weebles up there then when they pop out and land upright he jumps around calling them Aliens then he goes off to write a blog post. I think the sexual gratification doesn't come for him until he checks his adsense account." Heather explains.
"Well, that's not so bad." Art says.
"Oh dad! You're incorrigible! Hey, it's almost time for the show!"
"Ok Heater, you put on your Kermit voice and I'll go get the lotion."

Can I quote this over, no never mind.   Bellgab, the greatest adult humor site on the internet.

[K_Dubb]

Heather's guest now insinuating that Art was among the people directly attacked by forces to commit suicide.

Creeping disclosure...

[Jocko Johnson]

Mumbles is what mumbles be. Until he puts down the crack pipe, the coke, the pills, the cheap booze, the bong, the plastic model glue in a paper bag and the meth he is gonna sound the same. Like he's chewing on gravel with a mouth full of marbles!

[Dr. MD MD]

The Emperor is a semi-hollow. Palpatine without a Bigsby. I will never truss Rod again.

If I wanted a Bigsby (which I do) I would've got a Gretsch (which I considered) but my love of Junior Barnard solos moved me this way.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cBAOq7UGXLw

[Bluejay]

Or Lasha feels like she is more important than she actually is? You know, the Heather Syndrome?

[El Chorro]

Jeez now Heather actually asked him if he might have picked up something on Mars

[Sean92008]

The Emperor is a semi-hollow. Palpatine without a Bigsby. I will never truss Rod again.

Don't go bowing your neck all out of joint.

[K_Dubb]

Basiago began by listing "our own Art Bell" first among unexpected deaths, followed by a colleague of his who committed suicide in March.  Says he is sounding the alarm on that subject, and they go on to discuss the epidemic.

[69CheckMate]

A car pulls up to a cuckshed. A lady, near 70, gets out and walks towards the building. The door opens and Art exits. A moment later Heather appears in the doorway holding a white pad. Art nods as he walks past, back to his part of the compound. The lady approaches Heather and says "He forgot to reapply his pee-pad, did he?"
"Ummm, yes." Heather replies.
"He does that a lot. Lets sit down dear, we have much to talk about."
Stories of swinging fill the night before one final one. The story of one fateful swinging night that leads to this conversation.
"Art is your daddy, Heater." Ann finally admits.
"No! He can't be!" exclaims Heather.
"When in doubt, look to the cheekbones dear." explains Ann, "And I can't stand one more minute in this den of debauchery. I've finally had my fill of this lifestyle. I'm moving to Vegas." And with that Ann is off.
The next night Art visits the cuckshed but doesn't know something is different. "Wanna take a ride?" he exclaims as he opens the door. Heather is standing there holding his pee pad.
"Oh, this is where I left it?" Art asks.
"Where else would you have left it last night!?!" Heather asks.
"Ohhh! Ummm. Well, From The High Desert! And... cummm, West of the.. ummm. Where's your mom?"
"She saw the pee pad, Art. And she told me."
"She told you what?"
"That you are my father!"
"I'm your WHAT? Nooooooo."
"She says yes."
"Can't be"
"Look at the cheekbones, Art."
Art ponders for a moment and his eyes pop open, something clicks. "Ok, I believe you. This is so hot. I have the weirdest boner right now."
"Art! No! And we can't do this anymore." Heather explains.
"I mean, I've always wanted to fuck myself," Art ignores her and presses on, "but I could never figure out the logistics. I figured there would have to be portals. This is really close to it though!"
"Art, we can't do this anymore!"
"I mean look at the cheekbones!"
"Art!" Heather shouts, "We can't DO THIS ANYMORE!"
"Well I shouldn't get you preggers now."
"Right, and we have to stop it all." Heather says.
"Well, there is still the butt stuff." says Art hopefully.
"You leased the butt to Whitley, remember?" reminds Heather.
"No, not my butt. YOU'RE butt!" says Art, happily fixing the problem.
"Wait, you leased him your butt too?" Heather asks.
"Only mine. Wait, did he tell you he has tenants rights on your starfish?"
"Yes!"
"That bastard!" exclaims Art. "What did he do to it."
"He just puts weebles up there then when they pop out and land upright he jumps around calling them Aliens then he goes off to write a blog post. I think the sexual gratification doesn't come for him until he checks his adsense account." Heather explains.
"Well, that's not so bad." Art says.
"Oh dad! You're incorrigible! Hey, it's almost time for the show!"
"Ok Heater, you put on your Kermit voice and I'll go get the lotion."

BWAHAHAHA!  (Snort!)
😂😉😅😆😈😂😁😄😀

[GravitySucks]

nope.....just weird #smallworld

#afterall

[Sean92008]

If I wanted a Bigsby (which I do) I would've got a Gretsch (which I considered) but my love of Junior Barnard solos moved me this way.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cBAOq7UGXLw

Joe at Gretsch is a saint.

Buy Gretsch!

[Kolchak]

Jeez now Heather actually asked him if he might have picked up something on Mars

[Aquarius]

I don't know which makes me feel more skeevy, Lasher's protection craziness or the fact that Basagio, who says he may have picked up a slow-gestating pathogenic disease on Mars years ago and "they" are now trying to shut him down for sure, is now going to run for President again on our behalf. This stuff is actually creepy and I'm going to sleep soon. I'm outta here.

[Dr. MD MD]

Joe at Gretsch is a saint.

Buy Gretsch!

Yeah, I've seen him in a few vids with Greg from Wildwood. Man, that cat can play and he's so funny too! (Greg, not Joe)

Honestly, I'd love to get a Duojet one day. Not semi-acoustic but a chambered body. Very plucky and unique sounding.

[comaphobe]

I really like this particular Jim Dunlop 2mm Gator grip but can no longer find any in real life, only on Amazon. I like the angles, radius of the tip, everything. This is kind of ruining my life.

[Spookcat]

I heard a bang, Dave.

[Renegade Smurf]

Sounds like he just said he has Martian Gulf War Syndrome contracted back in the 80s when he was a Space Cadet.

[El Chorro]

Sounded like somebody knocked into a steel drum

[popple]

I wonder if the little girl will show up on the upload. VERY HIGH STRANGENESS! 

[21st Century Man]

No one can top GIS' EVP's

No, those were great.

[WinWinS]

I heard a bang, Dave.

me too...sounded like something heavy dropping on a wood floor then rolled a bit

[popple]

How does a ghost know if you're unmarried? Hmmmmm....

[Aquarius]

I really like this particular Jim Dunlop 2mm Gator grip but can no longer find any in real life, only on Amazon. I like the angles, radius of the tip, everything. This is kind of ruining my life.

Try:  http://tinyurl.com/y8kxoyfv   for 6   or  http://tinyurl.com/ycewx7hh for 72 of them.

Ok, they're in Australia, but that only means they'll take a bit longer to get to you. 

[21st Century Man]

But normal is boring.

[HumanBeing]

[Sean92008]

I really like this particular Jim Dunlop 2mm Gator grip but can no longer find any in real life, only on Amazon. I like the angles, radius of the tip, everything. This is kind of ruining my life.

I regularly use these for guitar.  Pop.  Rock. Rhythm.

[HumanBeing]