Things heard in a diner that make you glad...

[onan]

"My bail bondsman called."

[twiki]

"We finally passed the health inspection."

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

"Let's go boys.  That nucular waste ain't gonna haul itself."

[paladin1991]

"Alright. Sixty bucks and a burger."

"Deal."

[West of the Rockies]

Heard a young lady say this to a group of friends at a local coffee house:  "Raccoons would smoke.  Penguins would smoke.  Babboons, foxes--they'd smoke, totally.  A lemur wouldn't smoke, I just don't see it."

[Albemuth]

“It took a reckless and dangerous amount of pesticides to kill ALL the roaches - but the regular customers are noticing the taste of the peach cobbler is markedly improved.”

[Yorkshire pud]

(shouts to kitchen) "Did we manage to strain the coffee dregs from last night to last until at least lunchtime?"

[aldousburbank]

This winter, 2am in a 24 hr downtown Philadelphia diner. It's 1 deg Farenhiet outside and I watch, with some pity, the street dude returning out into the freeze after coming into make some change. The waitress says to me "Don't worry about him hon. He makes more than I do just working that street corner."

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

<cough> <cough> That bug bug bomb really works.  <cough>  I don't see a single live cockroach in the pantry.

[lonevoice]

Sorry about the cigarette butt in the middle of your chicken pot pie, hon.  You want another one, on the house?

[Heather Wade]

Sorry about the cigarette butt in the middle of your chicken pot pie, hon.  You want another one, on the house?

That reminds me of one from long ago:  Waitress arrives at my table, takes a bite of my food & exclaims: "Those biscuits and gravy aren't hot enough!" Waitress steals my plate and replaces it with a new one, piping hot & delicious.  "You enjoy that hon!"  Gotta love hole-in-the-wall diners. 

[jazmunda]

That reminds me of one from long ago:  Waitress arrives at my table, takes a bite of my food & exclaims: "Those biscuits and gravy aren't hot enough!" Waitress steals my plate and replaces it with a new one, piping hot & delicious.  "You enjoy that hon!"  Gotta love hole-in-the-wall diners.

I had the exact opposite happen. I received fries that were lukewarm at best. I mentioned it to the waitress. She picked one up off my plate, took a bite, said "They're fine sugar" and walked off. I did not leave a tip.

[cosmic hobo]

It's been 2 weeks since anyone died of food poisoning.

[Eddie Coyle]

  We have "cold tea" after 2AM.

   *More a Chinese restaurant thing than a diner

[onan]

"If we can find our inlaws, we're gonna stay with them for a few weeks."

[Mind Flayer Monk]

  We have "cold tea" after 2AM.

   *More a Chinese restaurant thing than a diner

I need some help on this one. Is "cold tea" bathtub rice wine?

[cweb]

"Sorry, the toilet is for paying customers only."