I bought a guitar this weekend

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Me and MagnificentBastard and another guy you all don't know have a "Who" tribute band (we're looking for a new vocalist, in case you know someone).  One thing about being a tribute band for The Who is that you go through an awful lot of guitars.  Since I don't wanna smash up my favorite axe, I'm always on the lookout for some shitty old guitar that I can "substitute" (get it? snicker-snicker).

So I found this one over the weekend:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/msg/4611427538.html

We played a gig tonight (MB handled the vocals, thank god that is only temporary), and I smashed the everloving fuck out of this POS Fender knockoff that I got from Craigslist.  The dude let it go for $50 and it was worth every penny.  We would have invited him to the show but as it says in the ad, the guy works nights.

[missing transmission]

Didn't Rory Gallagher play the legit version of that?

[Juan]

I worked with a band in the 80s.  We found a crap strat clone and sawed the neck off near the body.  We drilled a hole in the neck and the body and inserted a short dowel to hold the parts together.  At the end of the gig, the guitar player would put down in good guitar and pick up the rigged one.  He would smash it, the dowel would break, and the guitar would scream and howl until the end. 
Then we'd collect the guitar, drill out the dowel, insert another, and be ready for the next show.

[WildCard]

Me and MagnificentBastard and another guy you all don't know

I already don't like where this is going.

have a "Who" tribute band (we're looking for a new vocalist, in case you know someone).  One thing about being a tribute band for The Who is that you go through an awful lot of guitars.  Since I don't wanna smash up my favorite axe, I'm always on the lookout for some shitty old guitar that I can "substitute" (get it? snicker-snicker).

So I found this one over the weekend:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/msg/4611427538.html

We played a gig tonight (MB handled the vocals, thank god that is only temporary), and I smashed the everloving fuck out of this POS Fender knockoff that I got from Craigslist.  The dude let it go for $50 and it was worth every penny.  We would have invited him to the show but as it says in the ad, the guy works nights.

What about the amp and speakers?

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I already don't like where this is going.

Quick Karl's mom said the same thing, but she got into it eventually.

What about the amp and speakers?

He still had the speakers, but they were in the trash and soiled with dog food and bacon leftovers on the cones, so I didn't bother with them.  He cut the amplifier in half to make birdhouses for his niece, or at least that's what he said; I never saw it.

I got a good fire going in the brick pit I built in my yard and threw the pieces in late last night.  Took awhile to get it going but it's just about all burned up now.  Except for the metal parts.  I snuck them into the dumpster at the 7-11 this morning when no one was looking.  I would have stuck it in my neighbor's bin but his is overflowing, the same as mine.

[MagnificentBastard]

Me and MagnificentBastard

wat? This is the first I've heard of it. Is there another guy what goes by that name?

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

wat? This is the first I've heard of it. Is there another guy what goes by that name?

You should be pleased that I included you in the band.  In an earlier version of the story you were a groupie that functioned as the band's fluffer.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

DPS, if you mention MagBast being in your band, Earl needs to be in the band too.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

DPS, if you mention MagBast being in your band, Earl needs to be in the band too.

Earl was the singer before.  He pulled something while singing that high note in "Won't Get Fooled Again" and had to quit.  It's for the best, though.  We were getting complaints about his moves while singing "See me...feel me...touch me..."  Definitely had a Duck Dynasty kind of vibe to it.  So we're looking for a replacement, preferably one with his own truss.

[MagnificentBastard]

 My buddy Earl has a good falsetto because he's missing a testicle. It didn't get lopped off or nothin, it literally went missing one day after we was drinking pbr down by the railroad tracks. He brought home a meatball that he found one time, but the doc told him that weren't no testicle.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

He brought home a meatball that he found one time

So that's how you fellas met.  Did he ask his mama if'n he could keep you?

[b_dubb]

I taught Jimmy Page how to play guitar.  He paid me in thirteen year old girls.  He had a shit ton of them locked up in his basement. 

Oh wait I wasn't supposed to reveal that.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK .

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I used to think I was reasonably smart, but after reading this forum I learned something.  I have no clue what is really going on.

[area51drone]

You didn't happen to screenshot that ad did you?  It's been flagged, so unfortunately everyone from GeorgieForPrez on will be in the dark...

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

You didn't happen to screenshot that ad did you?  It's been flagged, so unfortunately everyone from GeorgieForPrez on will be in the dark...

No I did not take a screenshot, and more's the pity.  The whole thing has gone sideways.  Turns out the guitar was a Fender from 1955 or something and worth about $20K, even beat up like it was, and the amp around $12K, at least according to some collector who contacted the dude I bought it from.  The dude sent me an email and demanded that I return the guitar immediately.  He was pretty upset, kept going on about how people are always taking advantage of him because he's a little slow (a little?).  Well, not much that I could do about it.  I pulled the metal pieces out of the garbage and took a picture and sent it to him, telling him he was welcome to those but that's all that's left.  He didn't believe me and started telling me about how he was gonna track me down and fuck me up if I didn't hand over the guitar.

Well, I consider myself a reasonable man, and a tolerant one too, but I don't react well to threats.  So I wrote back and told him he could have it if he picked it up himself, and I gave him my home address and phone number.  Not really, though -- the address was for Blow Buddies in San Francisco, and the number was Earl's cell phone.  I haven't heard from either one of them so I'm not sure how that turned out, but the post is gone.

Say, any of you guys here know anything about guitars?  Do you think those metal pieces are worth anything?  They're pretty fucked up from the fire, but I sure would like to make my money back on this bitch.  Plus, I need to buy another fucked up guitar for the next show.

[saucerlike]

What specific metal parts are you talking about?  I must have missed that in your initial post.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

What specific metal parts are you talking about?  I must have missed that in your initial post.

Have you ever seen an electric guitar before?

[The General]

Have you ever seen an electric guitar before?

Only in picshures

[saucerlike]

Have you ever seen an electric guitar before?

I saw one disappear into a portal once