Jazmunda's Excellent Adventure in the USA

[jazmunda]

2 flights, 1 layover, 2 cab fares & 30 hours later I have finally made it to New York. Lock up your ladies and your goats because Jazmunda has arrived to defoul your glorious country. I will attempt to log my 2 week journey here. So who's having me stay over first?

[PB the Deplorable]

2 flights, 1 layover, 2 cab fares & 30 hours later I have finally made it to New York. Lock up your ladies and your goats because Jazmunda has arrived to defoul your glorious country. I will attempt to log my 2 week journey here. So who's having me stay over first?

Traveling with the family, friends, or just you?

[jazmunda]

Traveling with the family, friends, or just you?

Just my wife and I. Left the kids at home to fend for themselves. What could possibly go wrong? In NYC for my wife's childhood best friend's wedding.

[Catsmile]

Stay away from the hot dogs, and McRibs.
Drink only bottled water.
Show the before food pics, NOT the after pics.
Try to get some rest.
Enjoy your stay!
'Merica hell yea!

[PB the Deplorable]

Do they still rent guns to foreigners at the airport?

[jazmunda]

Do they still rent guns to foreigners at the airport?

We got in at midnight so maybe they were closed.

[jazmunda]

Stay away from the hot dogs, and McRibs.
Drink only bottled water.
Show the before food pics, NOT the after pics.
Try to get some rest.
Enjoy your stay!
'Merica hell yea!

I've learnt my lesson. No fast food.

[Yorkshire pud]

We got in at midnight so maybe they were closed.

Hey try and get in touch with Unscreened Caller. She's in NY. Have a great time mate.

[jazmunda]

First two observations. You guys drive on the wrong side of the road and your toilets swirl the wrong direction when they flush. My shit was so confused.

[Yorkshire pud]

First two observations. You guys drive on the wrong side of the road and your toilets swirl the wrong direction when they flush. My shit was so confused.

Yes to the former and no to the latter. You need a hemisphere mate...get a hemisphere.

[basswood]

Do they still rent guns to foreigners at the airport?

[onan]

Do they still rent guns to foreigners at the airport?

Rent, hell, I thought they gave them away!

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Rent, hell, I thought they gave them away!

You just need to open a free checking account.

[George Drooly]

So who's having me stay over first?

Just my wife and I

That depends -- do you swing?

[jazmunda]

Jet lag's a motherfucking sadistic fuck. My mind thinks it day time, my body thinks it's night time. Maybe the sweet sounds of Noory will put me to sleep. Does he still do last hour on Fridays or does the George Bot 1000 take over. A few "indeeds" and "ah yeses" should do the trick.

[George Drooly]

NYC? That's a hop, skip and a jump from Hartford. I hear there's an amateur astronomer there who loves unannounced guests.

[jazmunda]

That depends -- do you swing?

For the right price. We are paying off a mortgage, bringing up two children and now paying off an overseas holiday.

[onan]

For the right price. We are paying off a mortgage, bringing up two children and now paying off an overseas holiday.

Why, you... you... WHORE!!!

[UnscreenedCaller]

Welcome to our fair city, Jaz. Please observe the following rules:
do not feed the pigeons,
do not make eye contact with people muttering to themselves,
do not eat the street gyros,
if filming of any kind is going on, try to get in the background and wave,
do NOT attempt to purchase an extra large soda or risk being dragged to food jail by Michael Bloomberg,
do try to blend in by wearing a lot of black
and finally, those watches outside Penn Station aren't real. Rolex only has one 'l'.

Other than that, have a great time, see a Broadway show, take your wife shopping in Macy's, have drinks in Greenwich Village, lunch in Soho, visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Museum of Natural History. Bring a gun as  you're going through Central Park to get there.

[jazmunda]

Welcome to our fair city, Jaz. Please observe the following rules:
do not feed the pigeons,
do not make eye contact with people muttering to themselves,
do not eat the street gyros,
if filming of any kind is going on, try to get in the background and wave,
do NOT attempt to purchase an extra large soda or risk being dragged to food jail by Michael Bloomberg,
do try to blend in by wearing a lot of black
and finally, those watches outside Penn Station aren't real. Rolex only has one 'l'.

Other than that, have a great time, see a Broadway show, take your wife shopping in Macy's, have drinks in Greenwich Village, lunch in Soho, visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Museum of Natural History. Bring a gun as  you're going through Central Park to get there.

Thanks for the advice. We are seeing three shows whilst here. Book of Mormon, Beautiful and A Gentlemen's Guide to Love & Murder. We have a wedding to attend as well as other associated wedding duties from dinners to lunches to brunches. I'm the plus 1 so I do as I'm told. I've done all the "touristy" things in NYC on previous visits so this will be more of a living in and enjoying the city holiday with my wife sans our kids. Looks like the weather will be nice for the next few days.

[UnscreenedCaller]

All fabulous shows. I hope you have a great time.

This is key: when ordering coffee, if you want cream and sugar just say 'coffee reg'lar'. It's part of the dialect. And those fifi places with overpriced coffee aren't true NYC. A Greek diner take away cup with the key scroll is the quintessential NYC cup of coffee. Also, the best place to practice saying "Coffee, reg'lar".

[coaster]

http://youtu.be/kWoJLdXJt0E

[coaster]

New York would be far too loud, busy, and chaotic for me.

[jazmunda]

A beautiful day in NYC.

[Yorkshire pud]

A beautiful day in NYC.

Can you see your house from the top of that skyscraper?

[bigchucka]

You'll get hungry eventually....

Bizarre Foods... Andrew Zimmern's been there twice S01E11 and S06E15.
Whoops... 4 times... Bizarre Foods America S04E04 and S05E06.

Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations (he's from there)... S03E08 (ties in with Zimmern's first trip IIRC), S04E10, S05E08, S05E19.  And he did an episode for his show The Layover S01E02...

[UnscreenedCaller]

New York would be far too loud, busy, and chaotic for me.

Maybe midtown, but there are great areas downtown that aren't so busy.

[bigchucka]

http://youtu.be/8ERrbEerT3c


http://youtu.be/eMKrBxNGgwc

[jazmunda]

http://youtu.be/kWoJLdXJt0E

That actually happened to me minus the limo.

[jazmunda]

Maybe midtown, but there are great areas downtown that aren't so busy.

There was a great vibe in the city today. Spent the morning shopping in SoHo. My wife is doing her best to keep your economy afloat. You're welcome.

Went for a stroll to Washington Square Park and found myself in the middle of a Hare Krishna festival. This also happened to me once in London in Hyde Park so they must be following me around.

I went for another stroll and then found myself amongst another local festival on 8th Ave which was really cool too.

The weather was superb. Tomorrow we will venture into midtown and Times Square as I've promised my daughters a haul from the Disney & M&M stores. We're also going to be taking in a Broadway show so we will be on our best tourist behaviour.