F*#*@!#~! Religion

[Bart Ell]

1. Nothing
2. BIG BANG!
3. Fishies swimming
4. Babies everywhere!
5. Umm... aliens came and fed the babies
6. Alien fed babies grow and teach new babies how to feed themselves.
7. Evolution, brah!

[Yorkshire pud]

I saw it. I believe I posted a reply to the limey`s reply to my reply of your post.

You keep that sweet talking up and I'll get giddy with wanton lust.

[wr250]

1. Nothing
2. *PORTALS
3. *Mermaids swimming
4. *Crystal kids everywhere!
5. Umm... *angels came and fed the babies *tumeric
6. *Angels fed babies grow and teach new babies how to feed themselves.
7. Evolution, brah!

*nooreyized version

[Yorkshire pud]

1. Nothing
2. Ancient Aliens
3. Alien Fish and two suns
4. Interbreeding resulting in alien plankton hybrids
5. Umm... aliens came and fed the hybrid babies, and made stuff that had 'alien' embossed on them.
6. Alien fed babies grow and teach new babies how to feed themselves.
7. Evolution, with more aliens/chemtrails/more two suns/Nibiru/Elenin/ Richard C Hoagland/ 19.5 degrees/Mars apartments/aliens. DVD's and expos are born. A Gift from aliens.

In addition to Noory's version..I present the Youtube/CT's version...

[West of the Rockies]

You keep that sweet talking up and I'll get giddy with wanton lust.

Wait... limey's?   Really?  Goddamn tardis musta brought me back to 1943...

Well, life is easier when we can pigeonhole each other, compartmentalize.

[Yorkshire pud]

Wait... limey's?   Really?  Goddamn tardis musta brought me back to 1943...

Well, life is easier when we can pigeonhole each other, compartmentalize.

I had scurvy as a baby, but it didn't last long... F t F said he was thankful he didn't have a British accent. Maybe he meant Limey? 

[bateman]

[maureen]

rofl...big time!!! such a Nooryism!! well done!

[b_dubb]

That's Biblical Science at it's finest

[FightTheFuture]

Wait... limey's?   Really?  Goddamn tardis musta brought me back to 1943...

Well, life is easier when we can pigeonhole each other, compartmentalize.

Good gravy, man! Why are you such an old stick in the mud? It's merely a friendly little poke in the ribs of old pudding  pop. We've actually been getting along quite swimmingly lately.

[pyewacket]

I don't want to get anyone's panties in a twist by posting any links before asking- "Any Pat Condell fans on this board?" I think he posted a bit on the snake handler incident "Waiting for Jesus". His sense of humor might be a little too acerbic for some.

[FightTheFuture]

I don't want to get anyone's panties in a twist by posting any links before asking- "Any Pat Condell fans on this board?" I think he posted a bit on the snake handler incident "Waiting for Jesus". His sense of humor might be a little too acerbic for some.

Yeah, well, I appreciate your concern in this matter. But SOP on this forum is to never consider the sensibilities of another person when the opportunity exists to defecate on the sacred religious icons and belief system of that person's upbringing....unless it's one of our tolerant avant-garde progressive-types.

Hope that helps! Post often!

[pyewacket]

Yeah, well, I appreciate your concern in this matter. But SOP on this forum is to never consider the sensibilities of another person when the opportunity exists to defecate on the sacred religious icons and belief system of that person's upbringing....unless it's one of our tolerant avant-garde progressive-types.

Hope that helps! Post often!

LOL Thanks for clearing that up, FTF! I survived Catholic school and left as an adult because I was just really bad at it. Religion has too many inconsistencies and awful history for me. I can see why some people do stick with it, but it's not my cup of tea. Used to identify as an atheist/agnostic but I'm not really sure of anything. I like to think that there is something greater than us all out there- because it would be too sad to think that - yeah- this is as good as it gets. BUT I don't think something greater would, in any way, manner or form, resemble anything that religion has created. YMMV

With that out of the way- Here ya go:

I cant' get the "waiting for Jesus" clip to load but this one did-

Pat Condell on Christianity

[zeebo]

...Used to identify as an atheist/agnostic but I'm not really sure of anything...

I guess that means you're an agnostic agnostic - i.e. you're not sure what you're not sure about?   

(I think that's how I'd classify myself actually ... I think)

[pyewacket]

I guess that means you're an agnostic agnostic - i.e. you're not sure what you're not sure about?   

(I think that's how I'd classify myself actually ... I think)

It was a toss up- full non belief to a maybe. No one has come back to verify it, at least not as far as I know. LOL How's that for a non committal position? 

[FightTheFuture]

It was a toss up- full non belief to a maybe. No one has come back to verify it, at least not as far as I know. LOL How's that for a non committal position? 

Hey, we all find our own way. My long  tumultuous journey through life has taken me from full rebellious non-believer, to absolute unequivocal believer.  Shit happens.

[pyewacket]

Hey, we all find our own way. My long  tumultuous journey through life has taken me from full rebellious non-believer, to absolute unequivocal believer.  Shit happens.

What made you a believer? That is if you don't mind my asking.

[nooryisawesome]

Hey, we all find our own way. My long  tumultuous journey through life has taken me from full rebellious non-believer, to absolute unequivocal believer.  Shit happens.

Indeed.  Not all Christians are retards, who don't believe in evolution,etc.

It's possible to believe in god and scientific law.

[FightTheFuture]

What made you a believer? That is if you don't mind my asking.

Kind of a long story, but I'll give you the Reader's Digest version. 

as a young man I was exposed to Christianity through my family. I did not fully understand the implications of it. I didn't fully grasp the concept. So, I did as young men do; pursued all the fun stuff in life, women, booze, drugs, you name it.

During that time, I went off to war. I experienced unimaginable horror, which I am unable to speak about to this very day. That's when the heavy drug use started. My drug of choice was heroin. Although, I sure did love my coke.

I overdosed several times, yada yada managed to live, but still very resistant to change. Thats when a holy man came into my life.  He was the greatest man I have ever met in my life. He spoke to me about Jesus and redemption and his unconditional love for all human beings. Even me!

That holy man left my life as quickly as he entered it. But, some time later, I had a very moving, profound experience, a religious experience -- Road to Damascus moment, if you will. The spirit really entered me, and... I just  knew.

[zeebo]

...How's that for a non committal position? 

I, for one, am all for it. 

[pyewacket]

Indeed.  Not all Christians are retards, who don't believe in evolution,etc.

It's possible to believe in god and scientific law.

I've met different sorts. Lots of professional people are in the church communities. Personally, I see too much hypocrisy in religious groups. Religion just puts me off. I don't like to use the term "speritchual" like George does. I can't really explain it well. Some of the nastiest people, in my experience, were the religious types. Or maybe they were just mean spirited people who happened to be in a religion. Or maybe I'm just not their cup of tea. It's not just science vs religion.   

[pyewacket]

Kind of a long story, but I'll give you the Reader's Digest version. 

as a young man I was exposed to Christianity through my family. I did not fully understand the implications of it. I didn't fully grasp the concept. So, I did as young men do; pursued all the fun stuff in life, women, booze, drugs, you name it.

During that time, I went off to war. I experienced unimaginable horror, which I am unable to speak about to this very day. That's when the heavy drug use started. My drug of choice was heroin. Although, I sure did love my coke.

I overdosed several times, yada yada managed to live, but still very resistant to change. Thats when a holy man came into my life.  He was the greatest man I have ever met in my life. He spoke to me about Jesus and redemption and his unconditional love for all human beings. Even me!

That holy man left my life as quickly as he entered it. But, some time later, I had a very moving, profound experience, a religious experience -- Road to Damascus moment, if you will. The spirit really entered me, and... I just  knew.

FTF- I'm glad that you got the help you needed to overcome that destructive path. Life experiences can really change a person. Studies show that religion can have a very positive effect and you are a good example of that possibility. Thanks for sharing.

[pyewacket]

I, for one, am all for it. 

Hey, zeebo- I like your avatar. Squirrels are nature's A students and they're omnivores! 

[FightTheFuture]

FTF- I'm glad that you got the help you needed to overcome that destructive path. Life experiences can really change a person. Studies show that religion can have a very positive effect and you are a good example of that possibility. Thanks for sharing.

Most welcome!

[Catsmile]

I've met different sorts. Lots of professional people are in the church communities. Personally, I see too much hypocrisy in religious groups. Religion just puts me off. I don't like to use the term "speritchual" like George does. I can't really explain it well. Some of the nastiest people, in my experience, were the religious types. Or maybe they were just mean spirited people who happened to be in a religion. Or maybe I'm just not their cup of tea. It's not just science vs religion.   

Amen.

If heaven is filled with all those good "Christian souls" that I've met over the years...
well I reckon I'll gladly be in Hell with all the sinners.
Where God keeps all the junkies, thieves, murderers, whores, homosexuals, etcetera, etcetera, maybe I'll even run into the Jewish heretic; zombie Jesus. As I understand it Jesus was big on hanging out with that sort of riff raff, back in the day.

Maybe he can even introduce me to his hot squeeze Mary Magdalene who was thought to be his closest/best apostle by some, or if you listen to the church she was a whore who hung out with the son of God. Jesus might even pimp her out to me for a day or two. She can read her book of the bible to me, one of the books that the church removed and almost destroyed totally. You know a woman who was kept by God's son must be able to rock your world, at least that is what the church thought. Purging her codex, and painting her as a simple whore was how the church resolved that. Fixing the word of Yahweh, God almighty himself.
But what do I know about Jesus, God, or the Bible... seems I'm an atheist put here to amuse the TRUE believers, with my bohemian heretical ways.

God smote all the wicked sinners with the great flood. Killing all those who would not live by the Ten Commandments handed to us by Moses. Only Noah and his family were left to start over. As time went on we became wicked and sinful again, ignoring the Ten Commandments. Jesus was sent to bring us back to God and the commandments. Jesus foresaw he couldn't turn us back to the righteous path before we killed him. He did the only thing he could do to save us all...

How very sad that most of the "Christians" missed the simple point of Christ giving his life on the cross. Bearing all of mans sins past, present, and future, keeping mankind from being smote by God yet again. Jesus seeing we couldn't change our sinful ways and follow the Ten Commandments... he left us with one commandment to follow. Love one another. The way is the true path. (John 1:17), Via, Veritas, Vita(John 14:6). So the story goes... best as one can tell with any dogma that has morphed over the millennia to suit the needs of those in power.

Yet all the self-proclaimed "Christians" yell about is the Ten Commandments and Gods will. Never about the one commandment Christ gave them, you know Christ their martyr turned messiah, begating dogma. Maybe if the rewritten pages of their Bible were as well worn as the cover they use to beat the "unbelievers" and their hands on, they would understand Christ, and the way. On the other hand you don't have to think as much if you let the guy in the front of the room waving his hands tell you what Jesus and God meant. Oh and before you leave church, God the creator of everything from nothing in six days... needs your money, but give it to the guy up front waving his hands. :

Deus te amat... and I try to, too.

TL;DR: Fuck pseudo religious twats if they are gonna be my neighbors in heaven, I'll live with the Devil and the whores, thank you very much.

[Bart Ell]

Fuck pseudo religious twats if they are gonna be my neighbors in heaven, I'll live with the Devil and the whores, thank you very much.

That's one way of upping your chances for afterlife tang.

[pyewacket]

Wow, Catsmile! Strong sentiments indeed! I can hear the pain in your response. I have a strange theory about Jesus. If any of you have a strong bias on the subject please stop here. We can chat about other things.

Coast clear?

I don't know if Jesus was an actual person or if he was a composite of the legions of messiahs that preached in Palestine at the time. His teachings, before the church fathers' revisionism, reflected more Eastern philosophy. Buddhism pre-dates Christianity by at least 500 years. His teachings might have been an import of this philosophy in a westernised form.

If you read up on the early church history- you find groups, like the Cathers, who were hunted down and exterminated by these holy men. Kind of extreme behaviour for those appointed to preserve Christ's teaching of love, forgiveness, redemption and peace, no?

I agree that they did remove much of the original text and replaced it with those that supported their vision.

One of the first stories that hinted at revisionism IMO was the crucifixion story of Christ between the 2 thieves. First off, crucifixion was a very expensive form of execution and reserved for those who committed high crimes, like sedition. The Romans wanted to make an example of them in the most visible and brutal way. The nails were expensive and reused by the soldiers, and you had to post guards because this was a slow death and you didn't want people helping the condemned escape. The thieves would not have been punished this way. It doesn't fit the culture of the time.

There are many other examples- try the movie Zeitgeist. There are 3- the first deals with religion and all the borrowing you can find in the bible. The recurring numbers, the similarities to pagan gods and religions, the zodiac. Not everyone agrees but I found it interesting.

Cool avatar! We have some of those pics of science kitty. 

[FightTheFuture]

Amen.

If heaven is filled with all those good "Christian souls" that I've met over the years...
well I reckon I'll gladly be in Hell with all the sinners.
Where God keeps all the junkies, thieves, murderers, whores, homosexuals, etcetera, etcetera, maybe I'll even run into the Jewish heretic; zombie Jesus. As I understand it Jesus was big on hanging out with that sort of riff raff, back in the day.

Maybe he can even introduce me to his hot squeeze Mary Magdalene who was thought to be his closest/best apostle by some, or if you listen to the church she was a whore who hung out with the son of God. Jesus might even pimp her out to me for a day or two. She can read her book of the bible to me, one of the books that the church removed and almost destroyed totally. You know a woman who was kept by God's son must be able to rock your world, at least that is what the church thought. Purging her codex, and painting her as a simple whore was how the church resolved that. Fixing the word of Yahweh, God almighty himself.
But what do I know about Jesus, God, or the Bible... seems I'm an atheist put here to amuse the TRUE believers, with my bohemian heretical ways.

God smote all the wicked sinners with the great flood. Killing all those who would not live by the Ten Commandments handed to us by Moses. Only Noah and his family were left to start over. As time went on we became wicked and sinful again, ignoring the Ten Commandments. Jesus was sent to bring us back to God and the commandments. Jesus foresaw he couldn't turn us back to the righteous path before we killed him. He did the only thing he could do to save us all...

How very sad that most of the "Christians" missed the simple point of Christ giving his life on the cross. Bearing all of mans sins past, present, and future, keeping mankind from being smote by God yet again. Jesus seeing we couldn't change our sinful ways and follow the Ten Commandments... he left us with one commandment to follow. Love one another. The way is the true path. (John 1:17), Via, Veritas, Vita(John 14:6). So the story goes... best as one can tell with any dogma that has morphed over the millennia to suit the needs of those in power.

Yet all the self-proclaimed "Christians" yell about is the Ten Commandments and Gods will. Never about the one commandment Christ gave them, you know Christ their martyr turned messiah, begating dogma. Maybe if the rewritten pages of their Bible were as well worn as the cover they use to beat the "unbelievers" and their hands on, they would understand Christ, and the way. On the other hand you don't have to think as much if you let the guy in the front of the room waving his hands tell you what Jesus and God meant. Oh and before you leave church, God the creator of everything from nothing in six days... needs your money, but give it to the guy up front waving his hands. :

Deus te amat... and I try to, too.

TL;DR: Fuck pseudo religious twats if they are gonna be my neighbors in heaven, I'll live with the Devil and the whores, thank you very much.

[UnscreenedCaller]

I'm not a particularly religious person anymore, probably more the cliched 'more spiritual than religious', but I was a devout Catholic for many years until my disgust with the church cover up of sexual abuse and the outright demonization of the LGBT community outweighed any spiritual benefits I got from belonging to the fold. I still count priests among my friends, but they are for the most part progressive, and I am filled with admiration for the nuns on the bus, having been taught by that particular order. But as for the rest, when the institutional church's ignorance, superstition and a deep seated suspicion of women cloud the joyous message of the gospels, it's time to step away and be a content, open minded agnostic.

I have a problem with the snake handling minister as well as the couple who are being prosecuted for allowing a second child to die rather than seek medical help. I don't believe the real motivation in either case is faith. Quite the opposite: I think the underlying motivation for both actions is putting God to the test. 'If God really is all-powerful, and he recognizes my great faith, the snake bite/my child's illness will be cured'. Great faith means nothing unless God recognizes it, which makes both not only foolhardy, but arrogantly presumptive as well. It limits the idea of a god to one with the very human flaw of playing favorites. I prayed harder/believed more therefore I will be healed/saved. It's just as bad, in it's own way, as the concept of god as some sort of cosmic traffic cop, just waiting for a person to put a toe out and then smashing him/her down. Eternal hell for having a hot dog on Friday during Lent? These are very human concepts of god, very limited, very aligned with a rudimentary sense of justice. And they are what drives the abuses most religions perpetuate on their followers and non-believers.

Two of the most resoundingly spiritual films I've ever seen were Babette's Feast and Malik's Tree of Life. I don't think there will ever be a better artistic representation of what Christianity should be and isn't than Babette's Feast. Babette is taken in by a colony of rather dour, but kind hearted Christians who exist by the teaching of their founder but really don't live to the fullest. They live narrow, self-restrained lives, thinking that is what is demanded of them. Babette, an ex-chef comes into their lives and gives her entire small savings to one, exquisite feast for these people who would never treat themselves. It gives her pleasure to cook for them and watch their faces light up while eating. And, afterwards, they wander off, noticing the magnificent night sky for the first time in a long time. Christ-like in it's generosity, and joyousness, this film makes me happy whenever I watch it.

Tree of Life is different. It's a magnificent meditation on the Book of Job, the utter magnificence and grandeur of the universe as created by God against the lives of one family who are part of that creation. "Where were you when I created the earth?" might well be the message of this film. It's a reminder about what is meant by a god, and how that is beyond the comprehension of the most brilliant mind, and how there are two ways to approach the incomprensible, faulty as they may be: faith or nature, mercy or justice. The parents of the main character represent either of these two approaches, while the boys themselves grow through innocence and fall, acting with base 'nature' and developing consciences from their faith-filled mother. The struggles of all of them are placed against an ultimately uncaring universe. It's a film that is accessible to both believer and non-believer alike, since the themes are ones a thoughtful person will struggle with.

[area51drone]

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/04/10/study-jesus-wife-fragment-not-a-fake/?hpt=hp_t2

Oh, so it turns out Jesus was just a regular guy after all.   Wow, I'm shocked.