How to Fix the Problem With Middle East Terrorists

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Memorial Day is just around the corner, and I started thinking of our troops and all, and a couple ideas popped into my head about how to deal with Middle East Terrorists.

Idea #1: Get the chicks involved

Train some building contractors and sneak them and supplies in during the middle of the night with helicopters. Then, when the insurgents wake up in the morning and walk out of their caves, they'll rub their eyes and behold a brand spanking new shopping center with a 7-11, YumYum donuts, McDonalds, Dominos Pizza, and in the parking lot a fleet of shiny new cabs. Every night we do this until we got their whole country tooled out.  And it doesn't have to be donuts, it could be YumYum falafals or whatever they eat over there.

Now here's the beauty part of this plan.  Once these dum shiets got something to lose, their chicks aren't gonna let them run off and stir up trouble.  Just picture this conversation:

ARAB DUDE: See you later honey!

ARAB CHICK: By Allah, where are you going?

ARAB DUDE: The sheik has declared that we must kill the infidels.

ARAB CHICK: Ohhhhhh no! If you think your gonna leave me to take care of the store by myself you got another think coming saheeb. Have you forgotten that Ramadan is this week? Its the biggest sale of the year!

ARAB DUDE: But...

ARAB CHICK: Do you have any idea what the crowds are gonna to be like? You call up the sheik and tell him you're sick and can't go.

ARAB DUDE: But...

ARAB CHICK: I remember how it was before we were married.  You used to rape me under the stars for hours.  Now ever weekend its the same thing. Goofin off with your friends, playing with your guns and gigglin about those big-eyed virgins your gonna meet in heaven.  Well let me tell you something...

ARAB DUDE: But...

(etc)

The only problem I see with this plan is that they might just get more angry with us for stirring up trouble with their chicks. So if that happens we can proceed directly to idea 2.

Idea #2: Bomb the shiet out of the Middle East

I have to admit that this idea is my favorite. I think something like in War of the Worlds where they just fuckin level everything (Except we shouldn't suck the innards out of them like they did in that movie because its inhumane).  We'll probably have to use the H-bomb or something. Can you just imagine? No more taking your shoes off at the airport, no more strip search like they did to me that last time at Six Flags, and best of all, some piece and quiet for a change.

So anyhoo there it is. Why don't y'all think about it and let me know if you got any other ideas for improvements (especially you, Earl, this one seems right up your alley). This really should be a team effort, one nation under god and all that stuff.

[Ben Shockley]

hey, DPS -- I'm officially an admirer of your work.

The little chick in your avatar is hot.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

The little chick in your avatar is hot.

You're expecting me to say the same about yours, aren't you?  Well, forget it.  I'm not falling for that trick again.

[eeieeyeoh]

You're expecting me to say the same about yours, aren't you?  Well, forget it.  I'm not falling for that trick again.

The Mossad (Israeli Nationalism) communication is getting boring to me.

Do you have a gender?

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Do you have a gender?

Why, do you need to borrow one?

[Ben Shockley]

Um.... Pig Snuggler having it out with "eeieeyeoh" which (sort of) was the refrain of "Old MacDonald" who had a pig... and the "anti-Israeli-nationalism" remarks, in a couple of posts, from eeieeyeoh... as if he is an Arab, and we know how (Muslim) Arabs and (Jewish) Israelis feel about pigs... something ain't halal nor kosher about this.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Um.... Pig Snuggler having it out with "eeieeyeoh" which (sort of) was the refrain of "Old MacDonald" who had a pig... and the "anti-Israeli-nationalism" remarks, in a couple of posts, from eeieeyeoh... as if he is an Arab, and we know how (Muslim) Arabs and (Jewish) Israelis feel about pigs... something ain't halal nor kosher about this.

If you want my opinion, you're putting too much thought into this.

[eeieeyeoh]

If you want my opinion, you're putting too much thought into this.

Did you get a word wrong in your handle?
Smuggler seems more appropriate than Snuggler.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

Did you get a word wrong in your handle?
Smuggler seems more appropriate than Snuggler.

If you want my opinion, you're putting too much thought into this.

[FightTheFuture]

Um.... Pig Snuggler having it out with "eeieeyeoh" which (sort of) was the refrain of "Old MacDonald" who had a pig... and the "anti-Israeli-nationalism" remarks, in a couple of posts, from eeieeyeoh... as if he is an Arab, and we know how (Muslim) Arabs and (Jewish) Israelis feel about pigs... something ain't halal nor kosher about this.

Most Jews eat pork. DOH! :

[Yorkshire pud]

Most Jews eat pork. DOH! :

Oh MV, If you don't put this in the top right corner I'll never cup your balls again, so there.

[FightTheFuture]

Memorial Day is just around the corner, and I started thinking of our troops and all, and a couple ideas popped into my head about how to deal with Middle East Terrorists.

Idea #1: Get the chicks involved

Train some building contractors and sneak them and supplies in during the middle of the night with helicopters. Then, when the insurgents wake up in the morning and walk out of their caves, they'll rub their eyes and behold a brand spanking new shopping center with a 7-11, YumYum donuts, McDonalds, Dominos Pizza, and in the parking lot a fleet of shiny new cabs. Every night we do this until we got their whole country tooled out.  And it doesn't have to be donuts, it could be YumYum falafals or whatever they eat over there.

Now here's the beauty part of this plan.  Once these dum shiets got something to lose, their chicks aren't gonna let them run off and stir up trouble.  Just picture this conversation:

ARAB DUDE: See you later honey!

ARAB CHICK: By Allah, where are you going?

ARAB DUDE: The sheik has declared that we must kill the infidels.

ARAB CHICK: Ohhhhhh no! If you think your gonna leave me to take care of the store by myself you got another think coming saheeb. Have you forgotten that Ramadan is this week? Its the biggest sale of the year!

ARAB DUDE: But...

ARAB CHICK: Do you have any idea what the crowds are gonna to be like? You call up the sheik and tell him you're sick and can't go.

ARAB DUDE: But...

ARAB CHICK: I remember how it was before we were married.  You used to rape me under the stars for hours.  Now ever weekend its the same thing. Goofin off with your friends, playing with your guns and gigglin about those big-eyed virgins your gonna meet in heaven.  Well let me tell you something...

ARAB DUDE: But...

(etc)

The only problem I see with this plan is that they might just get more angry with us for stirring up trouble with their chicks. So if that happens we can proceed directly to idea 2.

Idea #2: Bomb the shiet out of the Middle East

I have to admit that this idea is my favorite. I think something like in War of the Worlds where they just fuckin level everything (Except we shouldn't suck the innards out of them like they did in that movie because its inhumane).  We'll probably have to use the H-bomb or something. Can you just imagine? No more taking your shoes off at the airport, no more strip search like they did to me that last time at Six Flags, and best of all, some piece and quiet for a change.

So anyhoo there it is. Why don't y'all think about it and let me know if you got any other ideas for improvements (especially you, Earl, this one seems right up your alley). This really should be a team effort, one nation under god and all that stuff.

With regards to option one, the ARAB DUDE would, generally speaking, merely procure another female-type. Only less independent.

Around about 2002, I would have found option 2 far more appealing. I was a strong advocate for the use of tactical nuclear weapons in prosecuting the attack on the Taliban and AQ after they fled to the Tora Bora region. But, that`s just me; the ol` neo-con that I am.

[FightTheFuture]

Oh MV, If you don't put this in the top right corner I'll never cup your balls again, so there.

[wr250]

Most Jews eat pork. DOH! :

accord to muslim privates in the us military , bacon aint pork so they can eat it . "it aint pork ,its BACON"

[Yorkshire pud]

Oink...

[MV/Liberace!]

Oh MV, If you don't put this in the top right corner I'll never cup your balls again, so there.

i don't handle that.  someone else takes care of it.

[FightTheFuture]

accord to muslim privates in the us military , bacon aint pork so they can eat it . "it aint pork ,its BACON"

Heh heh...frankly, I don`t know any Muslim, OR Jew, that doesn`t eat good, old- fashioned pig by-products from time to time. That includes my time in Israel.

[eeieeyeoh]

Most Jews eat pork. DOH! :

That's what I heard from a triple grade A boner (union butcher) too. There's supposed to even be a kosher way of killing a pig requiring a rabbi to say a bunch of words or sounds before cutting the pig's jugglar vein in neck w/very sharp knife. It sounded like the pig just passed out and died. I guess the idea for the meat to taste good was minimizing fear so adrenalin wasn't released. I didn't get the impression the whole pig's head was circumcised like shown on plate above.

I wonder how many people around the world have eaten scrapple. Supposidly originally made of pig parts it was claimed one didn't want to know about. Now there's recipes primarily using choice cuts of meat. Pretty good if fried up w/ diced potatos and onions till slightly crispy, onion turning golden brown, scrambling a couple of chicken eggs w/it, and topping w/Texas chili and shredded cheese.